Season 121 Pee Wee Battle Royale! Week 1 Power Rankings!
Woohoo! Off and running! Most points scored in week 1 was 35! That is amazing no more cpu, no more easy wins, every team can play defense, which means any team can win any game. Bring it on!
1. Tanuki Thunder- Yahoo! Go Tanukis! In a rematch of last seasons conference finals, the Thunder get the win and jump right into the top seed! Raccoons always have been King of the Knight and they snuck right by Buckheads defense, Pounder Paws and Shadow Pouches leading the way! Great statement win over the team they really need to beat to think Bowl game.
2. Buckhead Royal Knights- Knights and Thunder put up virtually identical stats, Knights just couldn't snatch the win at the end of the 4th quarter. Most impressive Buckhead stat this week may be the 1/5 effective level on the match-ups page, impressive!!
3. Arctic Circle Grim Reapers- Reapers were all smiles, if that is possible, when the freshest bunch of recruits they had ever seen lined up on the filed against them. They just sheathed the Scythe and went man on man, or skeleton on man, or skeleton on frightened boy, whatever it was it was easy work for the bony ones, they prevailed without a scratch, if they are even scratchable?
4. Mr Coach Kline's DOTS- The DOTS were in need of a new hero this season after the cutting of Leland the Legend. Sadly the one who stepped up was named Huey P. Long! Now i know getting that stream to eye level on a tree is impressive and keeps bears away, but Huey could hit a WR in stride from 40 yards, his throwing skills weren't great yet but the yellow stream carried the ball swiftly to its target and the DOTS pass game won the day!
5. Blitzin' Dots- Dots were a bit sluggish to start things out, upon taking the field some guy kept shooting a laser at them the crowd joined in and they felt like they were in the middle of a bad planetarium laser show. Some hallucinogenic shenanigans at halftime and a strong pass game got them going in the 3rd, taking advantage of the disoriented Invaders and escaping the "Martian Dome" with a win.
6. Martian Invasion- The alien Dan Marino came out shooting his ray gun, He saw those Dots and they looked just like Bullseyes. Zap, zap and the Martians had the lead! Then at halftime there was a rumour the Dots had dropped some dots in the Invasions gatorade. When the 3rd quarter ended it was no longer a rumour as the Martians had no idea what was going on at all and wandered around feeling spacey until the final bell sounded.
7. Tokyo Godzillas- Godzilla arrived at the Warriors stadium, he was feeling frisky and fast, the new sneakers glistening in the sun. When the game started he saw no opposition on the field, just a silent fearful crowd. So he started running, he was quick, covering 100's of yards in just one stride, this was going to be an easy win! Then oddly he felt movement under his feet, confused he looked down at his feet, that's when the field suddenly came alive and grabbed him. He was buried under a giant mound of artificial turf, It got dark, claustrophobia kicked in, he panicked, burst out of "The Burrow" and sprinted away.
8. Turf Warriors- The Warrior crowd that had gathered for their first game in Gold was excited, but they fell silent when the Big Lizard entered the stadium. This was not Silver anymore, the Beast started sprinting around tearing up the field and was off to a fast start, wondering where the Warriors were. Little did he know they were right under his feet, the grass came alive wrapped his legs up, tackled him to the ground and the whole field enclosed over him swallowing him whole! The crowd stunned, sat silent and when Godzilla erupted from the ground and fled they burst into cheers and realized they belonged in Gold after all!
9. Irridescent Ditch Fish- That was lovely! Did you see those kneel downs at the end!! and we even started running to burn clock at some point in the 4th!! Not going to get burned twice for my laziness! Fun seeing the new offensive ideas looking good and always nice to chomp a big fat butterfly!
10. Rome Gladiator Yaks- Yaks walked into "The Royale Fortune"? stadium, the field looked nice and overgrown and they had a lovely first half grazing and enjoying the fine day. That enjoyment ended when a rude young man started pissing on them from the other end of the field, it was like a water balloon fight where someone had grabbed the hose, the Yaks were disgusted and fled the field, wondering what sort of Ghetto they had chosen to move into.
11. London Pee Wee Monarchs- Monarchs are always hopeful they will poison us fish off and each generation grows more toxic, than the last, yet we survive again. My most enjoyable tasting Monarch from the game was KR Maybe This One! That dot worries me! All that positive thinking is bound to end up with him taking it to the house more than once!
12. Walk-On Warriors- Warriors met a familiar boney face and the new young fellows were a bit shell shocked! They felt more like the Walk-All Over Me Warriors after the Reapers piled up the rush yards and walked away with the win. The Warrior Walk-Ons got the taste of what Gold football is like, they will toughen up and learn the ropes quickly and be ready to rumble soon. Walk-ons have a lot of grit!
good luck everyone
