Warrior General Games

1 Uganda Silverbacks (9-0) "I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party, no way I'm disco dancing..." That's what was booming out over the team bus as the Silverbacks drove back from an away game at Angola (only South African teams can afford plane rides, sadly). ABD fought valiantly, but just couldn't hold back the Sexy ones. 21-14, Silverbacks lead as the 2nd half was closing out, and Uganda QB Zidane hooks up with WR Ryan Link for a 71 yd, mostly RAC TD. Moments later, after a 3 and out by ABD, the Frenchman Zidane stuck another dagger in Angola's belly, conducting the two minute office like (if I knew the name of a single conductor, great or not, I'd stick it here), putting Uganda up 35-14 at the half -- and held off ABD from there on out, to take it 44-22, firmly establishing Uganda as numero primero. Next up: Kilimanjaro Sting (7-2)

2 Ivory Coast Breakers (9-0) Not a whole lot of trouble against Mayotte, winning handily, 58-10. HB Tiger Bay pulled an Al Bundy and racked up over 150 yards for the Breakers. QB Colt Stinger had a pretty good day, despite being hurried 17 times and sacked 6. And DE Bammin Bird and LB Pretty Boy Floyd just abused MMM QB Testecouvert, combining for 13 sacks with Floyd picking off Testecouivleret in the first quarter for a 51 yd interception return for a TD. Ivory Coast is looking as much like the no.1 team as Uganda lately - and in two games these titans will clash (minus stop-motion animation). Next up: Deutschland Doom (2-7)

3 Kalahari Bushmen (9-0) Being undefeated is an auto-berth to the top 3. Kalahari abused the Dogs of War 50-6, but it could have been worse if not for two Bushmen turnovers. The game was out of reach by the end of the first half, and the Bushmen just shut down the DoW offense all game long. Despite the one interception, Kalahari QB Mishkin played a great game, completing 20 of 38 for 376 yds and 3 TDs. Some really big games remaining on the schedule, but the Bushmen have made a great run so far. Next up: Mayotte (5-4)

4 Angola Blood Diamonds (8-1) If they could take a mulligan on the last three minutes of the second quarter, it could have been a different story this week. However, ABD now falls with a similar margin of loss to Uganda as Mayotte. In real life football, this wouldn't mean much. In GLB, well... they haven't exactly figured out how to make dumb ass luck as much of a factor. Or "good days and bad days." Now all the talk radio shows in Angola are worried: Mayotte lost to Kilimanjaro and Ivory Coast by bigger margins than against ABD. After a vacation week against Nigerian, they'll get to find out exactly where they stack up against those two. Next up: Nigerian (1-8)

5 MaRAWK!! o (7-2) 126-0 over the Barcelona Blaze as MaRAWK continues their jr. division tour. Next up: P-Town (0-9)

6 Kilimanjaro Sting (7-2) Deutschland Doom defense = butter. HBs Fast Times and Pony Express = Hot Knife. No offense to the Doom D, they're not the only ones looking spreadable over toast and tasty this season. Time for the Sting to buckle down: Uganda and ABD in consecutive games. No picnic. Unless it's a picnic where ants get in your food, your girlfriend is stung by yellowjackets, and a rabid squirrel locks itself in your car. Next game: Uganda (9-0)

7 Mayotte Metal Militia (5-4) Worst loss of the season against Ivory Coast. QB Testicouviellreatrelllaou was harassed worse than a baby-seal clubber at a PETA convention. In fact, Testeatcoucverrart must've felt a bit like the baby seal in that scenario. ICB just shut down the MMM. The nightmare streak isn't quite over yet. The MMM have a shot at an upset, but after 4 straight losses, they might not be feeling it. Next up: Kalahri (9-0)

8 The Dead Presidents (6-3) The best teams always find a way to win, and that's what TDP did against P-Town. Their secret? Score at least 3 TDs every quarter and don't let the other team have an inch of positive yardage. A controversial strategy, but it worked. Next up: Sahara (1-8)

9 Dogs of War (3-6) After a 6-50 L against Kalahari, a 5 game losing skid and the worst start for the Dogs since season 10. For any shot at the playoffs, the Dogs can't afford to lose more than one more game, so every game is a must win.

10 Santa Ana Swine Flu (2-7) Father and son team Hands McBack and Hands McBack Jr combined for over 550 yds in this win over Nigerian. More Jr division games coming up for the SASF should make this season get a little more entertaining for the Swine Fluheads (that's what the team photo is, right? A person with swine flu and their eyes swole shut?). Next up: Barcelona Blaze (1-8)

11 Covington Black Knights (5-4) Nice win streak going for the Black Knights. A 178-7 win over Sahara gives them three straight. Next up is a little more challenging game (hopefully). Next game: Dogs of War (3-6).

12 Barcelona Blaze (1-8) Not a fun one last week for the Blaze, surely, falling 0-126 to MaRawk. Things get a little more interesting next game vs. the Swine Flu, a team they beat 26-21 last season. Next up: Santa Ana (2-7)

13 Nigerian Nightmares (1-8) 10-55 vs Santa Ana. A rough season so far for the Nightmares, but a few competitive looking games ahead still. Unfortunately, next week is not one of them. Next game: ABD (8-1)

14 Deutschland Dööm (2-7) 0-106. At this point, I'm starting to get sleepy. So I'll just say this: Friday Night Lights is a damn good TV show. If you like football, or you like damn good TV shows, watch it. I don't want to see FNL go the way of Arrested Development. Sorry for a lack of anything relevant, Doom . Next up: Ivory Coast (9-0)

15 Sahara ShadowChasers (1-8) Lost by alot to Covington. I have a friend that works for Family Guy. I wish I worked for Family Guy. Next up: The Dead Presidents (6-3)

16 P-Town Ballaz (0-9) DEAR MISTER PRESIDENT: Congratulations on winning the election. I always knew you would win, and not that other guy. I told all my friends that. You can ask them. Mister President, let's get down to business. One of your first jobs, and most important jobs, will be to appoint ambassadors to other countries. I am pleased to inform you that I am available to become your ambassador to any of the following countries: HAWAII—This is one of my favorite countries. But there is a problem here: The people worship volcanoes. One of my first actions, Mister President, would be to outlaw this practice. At first the people might resist, but later they would get down on their knees and thank their lucky stars. BRAZIL—The name of this country gave us the words "bra" and "zillion." Also, it is home to the Brazil nut. My goal, Mister President, would be to eat as many Brazil nuts as I could, day in and day out. Then I would invite my friend Don to come visit me. He is deathly allergic to Brazil nuts. The hope is that just by shaking his hand, I could make him pass out. Some people say this is a long shot. But what's the alternative? Unfortunately, I believe, it's global warming. FRANCE—As you are probably aware, Mister President, there is a place in France where the women wear no pants. This is a disgrace. Also, there is a region of France called "Champagne." The idea of women with no pants drinking Champagne is one which I would make my top priority. Next up: MaRawk!! o (7-2)

good comedy...........

Here's a fun fact. Defensive AI was off for both of my team's wins this season. I hired a DC but his stuff isn't up yet. Might now even bother if we beat Barcelona. Really want this game actually cuz my squad has never beat them.

These right ups are about the only thing right in the world. I live for them. I love for them. No pressure, but please don't stop.

In case it actually isn't clear: these are great. Thanks.

Originally posted by BillSaidSux
These right ups are about the only thing right in the world. I live for them. I love for them. No pressure, but please don't stop.

In case it actually isn't clear: these are great. Thanks.

This

Hey it's better when you are drunk ! Zubrowska or Absinthe ?

Our QB Testicouillenlevrette thanks you.

Originally posted by ninerolog
Hey it's better when you are drunk ! Zubrowska or Absinthe ?

Our QB Testicouillenlevrette thanks you.

Hey, that's what I tell my dates!

And Old Grandad whiskey (first time ever drinking that)

And so *that's* how you pronounce his name!

And thanks for the encouragement, all. I'm sure I won't do 'em forever, but hopefully it'll be fun while it lasts.

1 Ivory Coast Breakers (10-0) And then there was one. Two of the three undefeateds fell this week, leaving only ICB standing. Well done on making it this far, but it won't be easy to keep it up the next three games. Uganda, ABD, and Kalahari are the next three up, respectively, probably the toughest stretch of the schedule for Ivory Coast this season. But dddddddddddd (that's why my dog says, anyway, putting his paw on the keyboard, though her typing skills are obviously lacking, b/c I have no clue what that means). But the other teams will have their hands full keeping leading MVP candidate Tiger Bay corralled. Next up: GAME OF THE WEEK vs Uganda (9-1).

2 Uganda Silverbacks (9-1) Sexy-time is over - well, for a week, anyway. The Silverbacks get back to work after a disappointing 9-10 loss to Kilimanjaro that saw QB Zidane get sacked 9 times, and HB Gorilla Your a Desperado limited to 2.9 ypc. The Silverbacks will be involved in their 2nd no.1 vs no.2 battle of the season, but this time on the other side of the fence. Next up: Ivory Coast (10-0)

3 Angola Blood Diamonds (9-1) Up a notch after a 105-10 coasting over Nigerian. Next up is a team that just knocked off the only team to beat ABD this season. Next up: Kiliminjaro (8-2)

4 MaRAWK!! o (8-2) Played without pads last week vs P-Town, still broke the scoreboard. This is where the rankings get a little tricky, as MaRawk lost to Kalahari who lost to Mayotte who lost to Kilimanjao who lost to MaRawk... still, a one point loss to Kalahari and a decisive loss to the now no.1 ICB gives MaRawk!! o the bump. Mayotte, Uganda and ABD remain ahead, so we'll see where they stand when the dust settles. They can keep the pads off another week. Next up: Sahara (1-9)

5 Kalahari Bushmen (9-1) Drops two spots after a 12-32 loss to Mayotte. Aside from MaRawk!! o (who I know they beat and yet is a spot ahead of them), they haven't played any of the other top 6 teams - was Mayotte a sign of things to come, or just a glitch? We'll find out in 2, as a brutal 4 game stretch begins. But first, next up: Deutschland Doom (2-8)

6 Kilimanjaro Sting (8-2) 10-9 over Uganda. Beat the number one team and get no bump in the polls? Well, I got the check from everyone else. Guess the mail doesn't run on the mountain, eh? Anyway, I feel bad about it, but no two dollar check, no bump. Seriously though, Kilimanjaro has played great this season, aside from an opening week loss to Lion's no.1 team, and have proved they can play with anybody. It's a thin line between the Sting and the no.2 spot this week. They'll finally get that bump if they can extend the winning streak to 9. Next up: ABD (9-1)

7 Mayotte Metal Militia (6-4) Finally pulled out of the dive with an impressive 32-12 win over Kalahari. FG kicker Pampero Park accounted for 20 of MMM's points. Only two games left on the schedule the odds makers think they might *could* lose, so they won't bump far up the rankings by playoff time - but a fierce reputation, despite the losses, means dark horse time. Next up: Covington (5-5)

8 The Dead Presidents (7-3) Running out of time, so everyone from here down gets the short shrift in writeups. Beat the poo out of Sahara. Next up: Dogs of War (4-6)

9 Dogs of War (4-6) 62-6 over Covington, the next game is playoffs or bust for the DoW. Next up: TDP (7-3)

10 Santa Ana Swine Flu (3-7) Finally got that W vs Barcelona, 38-16. Next up: P-Town (0-10)

11 Covington Black Knights (5-5) Fell 6-62 to the Dogs and next week is going to be much tougher. Next game: Mayotte (6-4)

12 Barcelona Blaze (1-9) Fell 16-38 to Santa Ana, but should have a good matchup next. Next up: Nigerian (1-9)

13 Nigerian Nightmares (1-9) 10-105 vs ABD, has a chance to break out of the doldrums now. Next up: Barcelona (1-9)

14 Deutschland Dööm (2-8) A long day vs Ivory Coast, gonna have another long one. Next up: Kalahari (9-1)

15 Sahara ShadowChasers (1-9)

16 P-Town Ballaz (0-10)

No easy games in the playoffs.

Originally posted by aariafromarty
No easy games in the playoffs.

Unless you get the #1 against us

Originally posted by AZSEAfan
Originally posted by aariafromarty

No easy games in the playoffs.

Unless you get the #1 against us

ya right mr. upset

Originally posted by AZSEAfan
Unless you get the #1 against us

someone hasn't read up on MaRAWK!!in history.

Originally posted by Landrys Legacy
ya right mr. upset

Last season was alot different. We were legit contenders. This season we're fighting for 7th or 8th and MARAWK beat the living crap outta us.

Great write up, thanks!!

The Dogs and Metal Militia are good teams. With our low chemistry we can't seem to do much on either side of the ball. I hope we can give a better showing against Metal Militia today. I also really enjoy your write ups.