Boom. Goes. The. Dynomite.
Club America
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Originally posted by Fish.SR
Originally posted by muck dawgs
a lvl 9 starting at CB what a joke!
Speaking of jokes, didn't your team just get relegated after winning exactly zero games last season? I don't know about anyone else, but I find that fairly amusing.
Just saying, since we're talking about jokes and all.
No, no dont worry they are gonna win the SEAA4 cuz they were dead last in SEAAA. It's perfectly logical and stuff.
Originally posted by muck dawgs
a lvl 9 starting at CB what a joke!
Speaking of jokes, didn't your team just get relegated after winning exactly zero games last season? I don't know about anyone else, but I find that fairly amusing.
Just saying, since we're talking about jokes and all.
No, no dont worry they are gonna win the SEAA4 cuz they were dead last in SEAAA. It's perfectly logical and stuff.
jenred
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This offseason is off to a good start!
Porch, do you have any good jokes? I think this thread needs a good joke!
Porch, do you have any good jokes? I think this thread needs a good joke!
jenred
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How about this one.
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."
jenred
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Joke # 2....this one is for Club America! Once you read it you'll know why. 
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'
'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'
'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''
The teacher fainted
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'
'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'
'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''
The teacher fainted
Porch
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So a kid is in the store with his son and they walk by the condoms and his son points to the three pack and asks his Dad what those are for.
His Dad tells him, "those are high school kids. They have one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
His son nods and then points to the 6 pack. "Who are those for Dad?"
"Those are for college kids. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
His kids points at the 12 pack and asks about those.
"Those are for married men. One for Janurary, one for february, ...."
His Dad tells him, "those are high school kids. They have one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
His son nods and then points to the 6 pack. "Who are those for Dad?"
"Those are for college kids. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
His kids points at the 12 pack and asks about those.
"Those are for married men. One for Janurary, one for february, ...."
...ryan
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A kid goes fishing with his father.
While in the boat the dad lights up a cigarette.
The kid ask the dad if he can have one and the dad ask "I don't know, son, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The kid responds no, and the dad says "well, you're not a man yet so you can't have one."
Later on the dad cracks open a beer.
The kid ask the dad if he can have one and the dad ask "I don't know, son, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The kid responds no, and the dad says "well, you're not a man yet so you can't have one."
On the way home the kid and the dad stop at a gas station.
The kid runs in to use the restroom, and while in the store he finds a $100 bill on the ground.
The kid shows the dad, and the dad asks if he can have some of the money.
The kid ask the dad "I don't know, pops, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The dad responds "yes, son, I am a man"
The kid says "well, pops, you can go fuck yourself."
While in the boat the dad lights up a cigarette.
The kid ask the dad if he can have one and the dad ask "I don't know, son, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The kid responds no, and the dad says "well, you're not a man yet so you can't have one."
Later on the dad cracks open a beer.
The kid ask the dad if he can have one and the dad ask "I don't know, son, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The kid responds no, and the dad says "well, you're not a man yet so you can't have one."
On the way home the kid and the dad stop at a gas station.
The kid runs in to use the restroom, and while in the store he finds a $100 bill on the ground.
The kid shows the dad, and the dad asks if he can have some of the money.
The kid ask the dad "I don't know, pops, is your dick long enough to touch your asshole?"
The dad responds "yes, son, I am a man"
The kid says "well, pops, you can go fuck yourself."
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