Originally posted by Ubasstards
Originally posted by Derek McFadden
Best write ups in the game. Thanks SA!
Originally posted by Derek McFadden
Best write ups in the game. Thanks SA!
Forum > Pro Leagues > SA's Sports Page - The Pre Season Issue - World League Edition
Smiling Assasain
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Originally posted by lemdog
HooD too high
LOL
you again?!?!
there's just no pleasin' you dude.
HooD too high
LOL
you again?!?!
there's just no pleasin' you dude.
Smiling Assasain
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Originally posted by Ubasstards
and these rankings are usually way off at the start of the season, but get better as games are played and entertaining no matter how far off they are to start
Ubasstards is absolutely right on with this statement.
The reason they get better as the season goes along is because the money I get from selling more subscriptions I use to get better pot with.
I can only afford street corner weed at the beginning, but once the subscriptions start selling and the money rolls in then I''m able to go to Trenchtown Joe on 10th and Independence Ave and get the finest pot that flex points can buy.
So let's all hope Trenchtown Joe gets a fresh shipment of Jamaican Red in soon or I'll never get these dam rankings correct.
and these rankings are usually way off at the start of the season, but get better as games are played and entertaining no matter how far off they are to start
Ubasstards is absolutely right on with this statement.
The reason they get better as the season goes along is because the money I get from selling more subscriptions I use to get better pot with.
I can only afford street corner weed at the beginning, but once the subscriptions start selling and the money rolls in then I''m able to go to Trenchtown Joe on 10th and Independence Ave and get the finest pot that flex points can buy.
So let's all hope Trenchtown Joe gets a fresh shipment of Jamaican Red in soon or I'll never get these dam rankings correct.
fish11th
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I thought about posting every emoticon, because I pretty much ran the gamut of emotions reading this... so, well done!
n:iceman:16
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Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
It’s time to kick start season 15 in the GLB World League!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U52sP25ynE
Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and girls of all ages!
Mr. and Mrs. America, all the ships at sea and all of our troops across the globe!
WELCOME, to the greatest write ups on Earth!
YES, it’s SA’s Sport’s Page and it has landed smack dab in the middle of the World League in GLB! (You lucky SOB’s)
It’s me, SA, and I run the Sport’s Page and all of its affiliate’s. This is quite possibly the greatest thing invented up by the good Lord since canned tuna!
And you guys get to enjoy each and every issue throughout season 15 in the World League!
So maybe you’re askin’ yerself, wtf is the Sport’s Page?
Well this is it, chuckle head! A week by week write up that has been going on since season 5!
Started up in Africa then moved to Eastern Europe where it has become an institution!
If you've ever been a regular in Eastern Europe, then you've probably seen or heard of an issue or two.
Many have hoped to one day be in the same league as the Sport’s Page, but few have had the privilege to actually witness it happen.
So enough with the introductions, let’s get this season started!!
There are a few things I have to explain to you players before we get started. first there is....................
THE PIMP CUP!!!
Every season I hand out a trophy to the winners of each season and it has become known far and wide as the Pimp Cup……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/pc3.jpg
Past winners of the fabled Pimp Cup Trophy include…………
Season 5 – Banghazi Barbary Lions
Season 6 – Pretoria Pigs
Season 7 – Czech Yourself
Season 8 – Paris Smexies
Season 9 – Wildflecken Wolverines
Season 10 – Banja Luka Funky Bunch
Season 11 – Pirgos Warlords
Season 12 – Warsaw Gods of War
Season 13 – Jefferson City Bucks
Season 14 – C-Town Hoodlums
Season 15 – insert team name here
Last season’s Pimp Cup winner are the C-Town Hoodlum’s right here in the WL. They will get the honor of trying to defend the Pimp Cup.
Winning the Pimp cup is a glorious feeling and will earn you untold wealth and fabulous riches. And, I might add, that it doesn't hurt to have a Pimp Cup handy when talking to the ladies, if you know what I mean.
I mean, sex.
Tail.
Pussy.
Getting laid.
Bumping uglies.
Knockin' boots.
Laying pipe.
Hiding the salami.
Penis in vagenus.
It will get you laid beyond all belief at certain internet porn sites that are under $3.99 a minute.
Did you really think it would get you laid in real life?
Dude, you are playing a football MMO and are probably living in your parent's basement, if you want real life sex you will have to pay for it or blow up the doll just like the rest of us.
The Hot Chick Lounge
Ok, so what happens is this.................
If you lose 9 games in a season,
If you just suck,
If you are or go CPU,
If you give up,
If I decide that you just absolutely have no chance in hell,
or if you are mathematically eliminated from competition..........................you go to a little bar I own called the Hot Chick Lounge. There you will sit out the rest of the season and watch REAL teams play dotball, but you will be doing it in the far too friendly company of semi-hot yet very trashy women.
Doesn't sound too bad, eh? Well it will feel bad after spending time in there and realizing you have crabs or the clap from the semi-hot yet very trashy women of the Hot Chick Lounge.
So.........................
Will your team have the....................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/rather-large-elephant.jpg
.......to win it all.
Or will your team just be another ................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/pussymcslosh.jpg
Will your team be the one to smack destiny on the ass and win a World League title?
Will your team be the one to twist the nipples of fate and take home a Pimp Cup?
Stop with the questions and read the Sport's Page and find out, chuckle heads!!
So I've said it for 10 straight seasons and it must be said for every season of the Sport's Page to begin................
..........................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!
So these rankings are no good at all.
They are not accurate at all and were never intended to be in this issue. They are for entertainment purposes only.
In fact, they are in no particular order at all, I just took them off the CPU rankings at the time they were made.
BUT the rankings sooner or later fall into place and end up correct every time.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Le chaudron (The cauldron)
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-0 – WE Pro champions
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Crashtrask, forestrobin
Head Coach: GMathias
OC: hatchman
Asst OC: joeami
ST Coach: inej
Scouts: head1
Report: There have been many syndrome’s to come across GLB like China, Down, Stockholm, but none have been as successful or harder to cure as La Tourette.
OMG! I almost had a heart attack! I thought that WR I’m Open was actually my ex, but if it were my ex she would have named her player, I’m Very Wide Open…………….that slut.
On defense, the masters of shutting down the aerial assault are the 2 great CB’s, Franky4Fingers and CJ Woodson. These two are inseparable fools that love to double team any receiver that gets in their way or anything they can pay $50.
Next opponent: Mayan Prophecy (0-0)
#2 Krungthep Garudas (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Battlefield Bangkok
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0 – SEA Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: fool, tautology
OC: Joe Rice
Asst OC: LeadUsNot
DC: ghuffman
Asst DC: kurieg, sckbleh
Scouts: ThaiGQ
Report: If my French serves me correctly, and it always does, I believe that Krungthep was an ancient town in northern California discovered by Franciscan monks and a Garuda is a spicy broth made from onion, peppers and cactus served over a warm bed of rice with a nice Cavit pinot grigio ‘05. Mmmmm, sounds delicious.
FB Nacho Momma is the first half-black, half-latino player to be a star in GLB. GLB brings people together from all across the globe. Thanks Bort.
On defense the star is Galactus – Devourer of Quarterbacks. You might recognize the name because his father played in GLB too. His father was the first GLB player to come out of the closet, Erectus – Violator of Quarterbacks.
Next opponent: at Sofia Spiders (0-0)
#3 Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Etosha
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0 – African Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: StiffarmSteve
Head Coach: Sledge
OC: tricon
DC: randey
Scouts: Ryiotgear, GoHooterGo
Report: Last seasons African Pro Champions are here and ready to take on the best the WL has to offer!
The heart of the offense is TE Karl Zagrabrewski, he changed his name from Karl Grabbabrewski after hitting step 9 in his 12 step AA program.
All you tight ends better watch out for DE Impact Device. The best way to get a tight end open is with an impact device, imo.
Next opponent: at Moose Jaw Rough Riders (0-0)
#4 Chocolate Blaze (0-0) -
Team Rating: 75
Stadium: The Hot Box
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/2-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 12 Addicts Tournament 2nd Place
Season 13 Addicts Tournament 3rd Place
Season 14 Addicts Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: blin4lyf, PierreThomas
Head Coach: David Stern
Report: There are a lot of stars on the Blaze’ offense, but it is QB Teabag McJorts that stands out the most. Not for his GLB ability, but because after every TD pass he grabs the nearest opposing player, throws them to the ground and proceeds to teabag the poor soul until the whistle blows. It’s pretty sick, I know, but what are you gonna’ do?
The D-line is home to wonder NT, Stuffin’ The Gap. You want to keep this guy clear of your HB’s and your wives, GF’s or mistresses, if you know what I mean.
Next opponent: College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0)
#5 NBA Jam (0-0) -
Team Rating: 75
Stadium: Monkey man field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/3-1
Titles Won: 5 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: DavidStern, PhilJackson
Head Coach: PierreThomas
ST Coach: cowtesticles2001
Scouts: pained, cliffhangergg, MickJames
Report: The Jam’s offense is tough to stop, especially with a FB like Were Wolf!. The only thing that can stop him is a silver bullet or one of those squeaky chew toys, he goes crazy for a game of fetch. But be warned, if this dude sinks his teeth into you, you could be finding yourself sprouting hair in places where there wasn’t any before, chasing after tail and licking your own balls, but that could just be puberty you’re going through. Didn’t everyone lick their own balls during puberty?
On defense there is CB Reggie Miller. He went from former basketball legend to a GLB superstar. But don’t worry too much, because he plays GLB just like he did in the NBA, great in the regular season and chokes in the playoffs.
Next opponent: So Cal BDC (0-0)
#6 October Wildfire (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Oktic Centre
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Octowned, damanwithdamoves
Head Coach: comeasur337
Asst OC: jbleich, NiborRis
Report:
If you are thinkin’ that these blokes are some goody two-shoe bitches, think again. Their leader is QB Riff Raff, yes THAT Riff Raff. Not only did he do battle with Under Dog, but on the football field he is wanted for felony arson for torching opposing secondaries with his passes. There is a reward, so if you catch him please contact the local authorities.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/riff-raff.jpg
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the main man on the D. Too bad for offenses because his game play is WAY much better than his acting ability and movies.
Next opponent: at Valhalla (0-0)
#7 Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Guru Dome
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/4-0 – Oceania Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: refguru
Head Coach: Boozer
DC: GoatLocker
Scouts: StrayDoug
Report: The last time I met with the Groupies I got crabs, but this time I’m ready for them. This time I……………what?...............it’s Gurupies and not Groupies………….never mind.
OT Bi Curious moves from center to OT this season because the QB felt uncomfortable every time he put his hands between Bi Curious’ legs to take the snap, Bi Curious would say “that’s the spot”.
On defense, the leader of this top notch squad is DE Master Sack, I think Master Sack is just another name for playing with yourself.
Next opponent: at Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0)
#8 Graz Grizzlies (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Grizzlies Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: godgib
Head Coach:
Asst OC: GaDawg
DC: Yakini
ST Coach: sam acw
Report: The runner up team last season in WE Pro makes it to the WL and are ready to tear apart anyone who stands in their way!
The main man on offense is kicker Head Cheese. Why does his name sound like a very nasty STD?
On the defensive side of things, it is FS Hospital Bill that runs things. Not only will he make a tackle or INT, but he can hurt a player, heal him and bill him on the spot all on the same play.
Next opponent: at Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0)
#9 East St Louis Tire Fires (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Tom Waits Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 13-3/0-1
Titles Won: 5 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Rusty Trombone, Doug Plank
OC: bhall43
ST Coach: NickS
Scouts: HurricaneBear
Report: Going 13-3 and then ousted by the Esplosion last season is no fun at all.
But the Tire Fires are back and burning brighter than ever and looking to add another trophy to the closet.
On offense, look out for Hunter Helmsley. Not only can he catch the ball, but if he gets you in his grasp he will surely give you the Pedigree or a sledge hammer to the fore head.
On defense I have only to say two words, Psalm 69.
I believe Psalm 69 goes something like “Go now ye’ into GLB and stuffeth the run game like a mofo’, for ye’ are a messenger of the Lord”
Next opponent: Ministry of Dotball (0-0)
#10 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Cripplers Crib
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 11-5/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: rissob
DC: austin.jones
Asst DC: mingo23
Report: Well coming in second in the African Pro League means nothing up here. You’ll need more than a Penance Stare and a supped up motor scooter to make it in this league.
Ok, if you are looking at the guy to stop on offense then you aren’t looking for a man, man. You’re lookin’ for a MONSTER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcZGRCU8s3g
….OG Go Godzilla is one mean mutha’ with a case of bad breath and if your team plays in Tokyo………………….RUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!
The defensive star of the team is OLB Gouda Goo. I have no freakin’ idea what the fuck a Gouda is and I definitely don’t want to know what his goo is. So it may be best to just stay away from this dude.
Next opponent: Bonn Dynamo (0-0)
#11 Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Explodome
Last Sason Record/Playoffs: 11-5/1-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 8 Tournament of Champions 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: Gart888, ksychic
Head Coach: Deathblade
Asst OC: avgbrad
DC: Asheme
Asst DC: Kingdan23, w alloy
ST Coach: cwrujosh
Scouts: Barnsie
Report: So these guys are still in love with themselves after winning the WL championship in seasons 11 and 12, but this is a “What the fuck have you done for me lately bitch?” league and last season going 11-5 and dropped in round 2 is pretty much nothing.
But hey, they are here, they’re queer, so let’s get it in gear!
On offense you have HB extraordinaire, Christian Dior. Not only will he rush for a 100 yards a game, but he will smell good doing it too.
On defense, look out for Baby Elmo. He is the brother of Tickle Me Elmo and the cousin of Diddle Me Elmo.
Next opponent: at Korb Destroyers (0-0)
#12 Queen City Black Cats (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Lair
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 10-6/0-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: rocklee711, Dan4GS
Head Coach: chronoaug
OC: ep3388
Scouts: BlitZxSiN, Delts76
Report: Last season these guys went 10-6 and one and done in the playoffs, but this season they are looking to improve ion it, like go 11-5 and lose in the second round of the playoffs.
On offense I am impressed by G Too Fat To Practice. He’s fat, he doesn’t like to practice and he’s honest about it. What say you and me go get a Fat Ass burger down at Fat Ass’ Bar and Grill?
On defense, look out for that D-line. John P. Jones and Kodiak Hall are going to be clogging up the middle so no RB will get 100 yards on this defense.
Side note: The starting four D-line are last years champion sausage eating team at Flaming Billy’s Alternative Bar and Dance Hall in San Francisco last year and this year they are looking to stuff as many sausages in their mouths as they can.
Good luck with that.
Next opponent: Cincinnati Shockers (0-0)
#13 Warsaw Wrath (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Drunken Farmers Field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: kswass, slappdogg
Head Coach: briano32
OC: kswass
Asst OC: Loonzilla
DC: glwarriors
Report: Another one and done team from last season, let’s just hope this team from Warsaw doesn’t end up as just another Polish joke.
On offense, the man to fear is WR Bort’s Addiction. There are only 2 things that Bort is addicted to…………flex and sock puppet porn. You don’t want to see him hopped up on either one.
The defensive star of this team is LOLB Wall Street, but let’s just hope for his teams sake he won’t need a government bail out this season.
Next opponent: Dakar Dragons (0-0)
#14 Providence Radicals (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Dunk
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Pariah, jdbolick
Head Coach: GridIronKing34
Asst OC: WiSelVlaN
Asst DC: Donovan Tatum
Report: Last season these guys were one and out in the playoffs. This season could be there season, but they need to do one thing to get a golden trophy………get past the 1st round.
On offense the leader is QB Boobie Loot. He has a big, firm, round………….uh, arm……….that makes throws that could make an old man crap hisself.
Defensively, there is Fart Donovan. If you aren’t careful, old Fart could create a big stink stuffing the run and sacking QB’s.
Next opponent: Lincoln Navigators (0-0)
#15 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Wang Clan Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 9 Pro World Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owner: HurricaneWarriors, ufshowboat
Head Coach: datongw
OC: kwankwan
Asst OC: johnbarber
Asst DC: StoutOne DTD
ST Coach: Eli Blanton
Report: The Wife Carriers were 9-7 in WL last season and made it to the playoffs…….and that’s where it ends.
These guys have the pleasure of having one of the meanest and nastiest and dirtiest players to ever grace the monitors of GLB, FB Alexei Sauerkraut. If he was a nice guy they would have named him Sweetkraut instead of Sauerkraut. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
On defense the big man is Tiny Weeny. Remember, it’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it. But that’s not what my ex would say……………….that slut.
Next opponent: at Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0)
#16 Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: The Radioactive Coop
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 8-8
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: badmonkey51, mwoods07
Head Coach: shull
OC: aceor
Asst OC: Dacolts
Asst DC: Barnsie
ST Coach: warax
Report: Last season these guys went 8-8 and missed the playoffs by a dick hair.
This season they want to go 9-7 and miss the playoffs by a dick hair. With the right amount of training and dedication, I think they can do it.
Their best offensive player is kicker My Contract Says: 12 Plays a Game.
I believe that if he doesn’t get the 12 plays stated in said contract, then by the stroke of midnight he turns into T.O. and whines, bitches and cries 24 seven.
On defense I will tell you all right now to keep an eye on the NT, Ila Senora De La Muerte! I believe “Ila Senora De La Muerte” is Indonesian for “I like to eat at the Muerte”. I think that Muerte is Indonesia’s version of the Waffle House.
Next opponent: C-Town Hoodlums (0-0)
Good luck to all the teams in Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The "Petri" Dish
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-4
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 13 Real Thing Tournament 3rd Place
Season 11 AA Tournament 3rd Place
Staff: Owners: Bone Saw, SSlayton10
Head Coach: crazy454
Asst OC: Lovie
ST Coach: Shalubis
Scouts: bigdrew1111, byrongame21
Report: Ok, this is the first time I'm going to ask to ban a guy. HB Charles "Professor X" Xavier has too much of an unfair advantage. I mean come on, the guy is an X-Man, he's telepathic and to top it off he has that maxed out wheel chair! I mean the thing can fly, y'all!
But if you do catch him in the wheel chair, a quick punch to the nuts will keep him from getting inside your head with his telephoning abilities.
On defense watch out for LB Traffic Cop. He tells opposing HB's when it's time to stop, go or whatever. If you don't abide by the law it could mean a 50 flex fine and 20 days in county, so avoid this guy at all costs.
Next opponent: Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0)
#2 Valhalla (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Odin's Bowl
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-0
Titles Won: 4 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Season 13 Real Thing Tournament 1st Place
Season 13 Addicts Tournament Champions
Season 14 Addicts Tournament Champions
Staff: Owners: w alloy
Head Coach: RandomBeast
Scouts: PP, sckbleh
Report: The best thing about offensive stud Will I Am Hayes is that you know he has to be tappin' Fergie's ass. Tell the truth now, you ARE hittin' that shit, right?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/fergie-is-hot-in-red.jpg
The defense is strong against the pass due to CB Idi the Nigerian. Wait a minute........Idi the Nigerian?...............so you are the guy sending me all those e-mail scam letters! You dick! Trying to scam people out of their hard earned money so you can buy flex is pretty.........well it's very, uh................actually, that'sa a pretty good idea. How do I get in on this scam?
Next opponent: October Wildfire (0-0)
#3 Lincoln Navigators (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Edward "Babe" Gomez Memorial Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 12 Addicts Tournament 1st Place
Season 8 Pro World Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: ddingo, djgomez33
OC: bhall43
Asst OC: CTap, Sik Wit It
Asst DC: JTD, majech
ST Coach: Modok
Report: All you opposing defenses need to keep a lid on the Navigators WR America Fuk Ya. He gets the team all pumped up and ready to kick some terrorist ass! You don't like it? Get the F out of the country! It's America baby! Fuk ya! USA! USA! USA!
On defense there is none better than FS Dijon Sanders. He spreads like mustard but is a whole lots betta'! Plus he goes great on just about anything, like turkey, ham, pastrami, roast beef, bologna, salami..................
Next opponent: at Providence Radicals (0-0)
#4 Cincinnati Shockers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Thunder Dome
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/3-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 10 Pro World Tournaments Champions
Season 10 Hazy Addicts Tournament Champions
Staff: Owners: cincredfan, PP
Head Coach: JTD
OC: MadMustaff
Asst OC: bigking0505
Asst DC: ddingo
Scouts: sbg80
Report: Well I have to go with my heart on this one. I'm a Bronco's fan and I says the bestest player on the Shockers offense is Bronco Zimmerman. He can block, he can pancake, he can trip the light fandango and do cartwheels cross the stage! He is a Denver bronco!
On defense it is the Dean of Destruction that will be roaming the field looking to learn all you students of the game how this MMO is REALLY played! Class is in session, chuckle heads!
Next opponent: at Queen City Black Cats (0-0)
#5 C-Town Hoodlums (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Hoodlum Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: lemdog, CaboWabo
Head Coach: Ubasstards
OC: Derek McFadden
Asst OC: Stobie, jrry32
DC: gocincinnati
Asst DC: GTW21, Genoc1de
ST Coach: UCLABUCSFAN
Scouts: Duckfan127, Ahrens858, Rube, MarkTaylorTSax
Report: 404 Not Found Try Again Later................don't be fooled you defenses. HB "404 Not Found Try Again Later" is there and ready to bum rush you unexpecting defenses. No shit, he will do it.
The Hoodlum D is led by Del the Funkee Homosapien. None is funkier than he and none are smellier than he. There are two reasons the call him funkee, he can groove his ass off and the guy hasn't bathed in 7 seasons. Bring Lysol to this game or you could go home smellin' like the underwear that he hasn't changed in those same 7 seasons.
Next opponent: at Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0)
#6 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: The House on the Hill
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/2-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: tautology
ST Coach: fool
Scouts: turnit643, Joe Rice
Report: See, now this is a team that takes risks. This is a team that is willing to use anything to their advantage. The use of monkeys as players on a team is pure genius. I mean, the army uses monkeys to blow themselves up on land mines, so why shouldn't we use them on the field of battle that is GLB?
LG Battlechimp Potempkin and CB The Monkey That Would Be King are two examples of using primates to play dotball. The drawback of using monkeys is that they sometimes drink their own piss and eat their poop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-yZFbzaWbg
Have fun on the field.
Next opponent: Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0)
#7 Sofia Spiders (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Web
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: jbleich
Head Coach: rommvon the magical
Asst OC: taurran
DC: Soul Reaper
ST Coach: Talcion
Report: The offense for the Spiders isn't the most prolific scoring offense, but it is the most fun to watch with kicker Trudy Uprights. Trudy is accurate and loves to do those high kicks in warm ups. The best part is that she never wears underwear, so make sure you get a good seat when she goes out to kick a FG.
The defense rests in the hands of FS Deadbeat Beaver. Is that how a porn actress feels after a gang bang scene?
Next opponent: Krungthep Garudas (0-0)
#8 Mayan Prophecy (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: THE SACRIFICIAL TEMPLE
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/2-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 12 Real Thing Tournament 3rd Place
Staff: Owners: mcallero, z0s022
Head Coach: tigerbait22
OC: husker4life
Asst OC: Redass Ranch
DC: SErebel11
ST Coach: kswass
Scouts: Kurt Davey, wizardnno
Report: If you are going to have someone anchor your O-line, there is none better than C BIG EZ. What's funny is that "Big EZ" is what my best friend used to call my ex as a nickname and........................wait a minute.......................THAT SLUT!!!!
The best player on the Prophecy is their punter Joe Blow and if you pay him enough, he will.
Next opponent: at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0)
#9 Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Smugglers' Hideaway
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: boondocksaint, punkrockforyou
Asst OC: j10er, Gabrosin
DC: ddingo
ST Coach: rawss
Scouts: Darwood
Report: The Smugglers G Ethel Mertz could be one of the best ever if you can keep her away from that friend of hers Lucy Ricardo. Every time those two get together, wackiness ensues.
SS FatDrunk andStupid plays exactly how his name implies, he's my idol. You go, boy!
Next opponent: Graz Grizzlies (0-0)
#10 Moose Jaw Roughriders (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: Roughriders Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/4-0
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: dimmy finster, teamriots
Head Coach: SLZmonster
OC: tomb4444
Asst OC: colinbomber, aid40
Asst DC: jabber40, Nevilj33
ST Coach: TouchdownTommy
Report: Be glad that BigFoot ProudFoot is playing GLB and not his porn star cousin, BigCock ProudCock. You don't want to see how he whacks FG's through uprights.
It's DT Big Weed that gives opposing O-lines fits. He's mean, he's green and he will always light one up on the scene. Just remember to pass the doobie to the left hand side.
Next opponent: Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0)
#11 Dakar Dragons (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Pit
Last Sason Record/Playoffs:
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: head1, GMathiasf
Head Coach: PML97
DC: Parab00n
Scouts: Wutzke, arlacuesta, tdougie1
Report: The Dragons would be nothing without kicker Tom "Iceman" Kazansky. Not only can he kick a mile long FG, he can fly F-16's, shoot down MIG's and star opposite Tom Cruise in a major blockbuster motion picture. Is there nothing he can't do?
You wanna' know the secret to super special teams star punter Addison BigBoot?..............those big boots that BigBoots wears are Prada.
Next opponent: at Warsaw Wrath (0-0)
#12 Ministry of Dotball (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: MoD Pit
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/1-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 14 Addicts Tournament 3rd Place
Season 9 Tournament of Champions 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: Stobie, crazy454
Head Coach: Fondo the Wise
OC: kalkmanc
Asst OC: Parab00n
DC: blump
Asst DC: Joebarber
Scouts: Joe Rice
Report: The captain of the offense is none other than the star center, Mick Titty. I hope he has a twin Titty.
If you end up on the bottom of a pile up with LB Meso Hornie on top and you feel him nudging you in the ass, it's best to just let him ride it out and in a minute he'll be asleep.
Next opponent: at East St. Louis Tire Fires (0-0)
#13 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Tecmo Bowl
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 13-3/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Chop Lobster, luniz024
Head Coach: da raiders
OC: StinkCheese
Asst DC: Cactus71, Dolphan9954
ST Coach: gocincinnati
Scouts: SZA, Sanders, strikezone20,Critwit
Report: The College Town offense is kept in motion by the running of HB Carmine Ragusa. You might remember him from a 70's and 80's sitcom called Laverne and Shirley. In the show he was a tap dancing and singing boxer that was constantly taking cold showers. Yep, you guessed it, he's a bitch.
The defense is stacked with DT Natural Breast II. And I'm glad that he mentions 2 natural breasts, because there is nothing more fun than a pair of big, round, full, firm natural breasts that you can grab a hold of and.............................excuse me? what did you say?.............his name is Natural Beast II and not Natural Breast II?................well that doesn't sound very fun, now does it.
Next opponent: Chocolate Blaze (0-0)
#14 Bonn Dynamo (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Lorelei Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 11-5/1-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 10 Pro League Champions
Season 11 Hazy/Addicts Champions
Staff: Owners: kurieg
Head Coach: Wrath Of Connor
OC: morid
Asst OC: d bullock
Asst DC: Spirer
ST Coach: Mstr October
Report: Look out defenses, LOT Iam TheWedge is here and looking to pancake some players. He is also the brother of that famous musician Iam TheWalrus, so koo-koo-kachoo to you dude.
I have no idea how good the Bonn defense is, but I would look out for LOLB Lewd Dude if I were you, for obvious reasons of course. The good thing is that he won't be allowed within 1500 yards of an elementary or high school for 3-5 years with good behavior.
Next opponent: at Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0)
#15 So Cal BDC (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: MJ Field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 10-6/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: shutdown, jdros13
Head Coach: PatricktheDookie
OC: GregB
Asst OC: xcoach2
Report: I'm sure all offenses want to be as smooth as the So Cal HB Velvet Jackson, but few are. Not only is Velvet a GLB superstar and terrific athlete, but he was also voted Pimp of the Year by the United Pimps and Bitch Slappers Association. Way to go, Velvet.
On defense be sure to game plan for Deez Nutzzzzzz, you do not want this guy tackling you and pulling a tea bag while you are still on the ground.
Next opponent: at NBA Jam (0-0)
#16 Korb Destroyers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Schwabenpark
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 8-8/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Disastermaster
DC: nyfoot2003
ST Coach: stizz
Scouts: PFDS
Report: Be warned all you defensive players! TE Twoway Threat goes both ways and is not shy about it at all. If this TE turns into a wide receiver I would run like hell.
The defense models itself after the famed "No Name Defense", but it calls itself the "Out of Names" defense after their stud LDE Out Of Names. After playing against him, all opposing offenses will know his name very well.
Next opponent: Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0)
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
*****WEEK 1 ALPHA VS ZETA INTER-CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball and I've been doing prediction battles with it for 10 straight seasons and only lost one season to that dammed 8-ball!
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1:
Overall:
SA’s GOW:
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW:
Mayan Prophecy (0-0) at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) = La Tourette Syndrome (Alpha)
Krungthep Garudas (0-0) at Sofia Spiders (0-0) = Krungthep Garudas (Alpha)
Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0) at Moose Jaw Rough Riders (0-0) = Moose Jaw Rough Riders (Zeta)
College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0) at Chocolate Blaze (0-0) = Chocolate Blaze (Alpha)
So Cal BDC (0-0) at NBA Jam (0-0) = NBA Jam (Alpha)
October Wildfire (0-0) at Valhalla (0-0) = Valhalla (Zeta)
Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0) at Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0) = Indianapolis Gurupies (Alpha)
Graz Grizzlies (0-0) at Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0) = Porto Alegre Smugglers (Zeta)
Ministry of Dotball (0-0) at East St Louis Tire Fires (0-0) = East St Louis Tire Fires (Alpha)
Bonn Dynamo (0-0) at Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0) = Ghost Riders In The Sky (Alpha)
Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0) at Korb Destroyers (0-0) = Haliblack Rap Esplosion (Alpha)
Cincinnati Shockers (0-0) at Queen City Black Cats (0-0) = Cincinnati Shockers (Zeta)
Dakar Dragons (0-0) at Warsaw Wrath (0-0) = Warsaw Wrath (Alpha)
Lincoln Navigators (0-0) at Providence Radicals (0-0) = Lincoln Navigators (Zeta)
Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0) at Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0) = Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (Zeta)
C-Town Hoodlums (0-0) at Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0) = C-Town Hoodlums (Zeta)
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
Mayan Prophecy (0-0) at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) -
Ok, so there is only one venue that is strong enough, big enough and tough enough to contain two premier teams to start of season 15 and the very first World League GOW and that place is known as..............................THUNDER DOME!!!..............(brought to you by the Sport's Page)
That's right, it's time to unlock the gates to Thunder dome and get the GOW under way!
Two teams enter!
One team leaves!
So let's go over the rules to Thunder dome, shall we?
THERE ARE NO RULES, DICKHEAD!!!
There is just two teams locked in a steel cage and we put a Burger King Whopper in the middle of the cage. Who ever goes hungry, loses!
Knives? Small fire arms? Hand grenades?
LEGAL!
Pulling hair and kicking like a girl?
It's kind of sissy like, but..............DO IT!!
Using the predictions of an ancient native Latin American people to use against opposing teams as an advantage to get a win?
HELL'S YEAH!
Anything goes in Thunder Dome!
So, yo Bort, let's get this bitch simmed already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Prophecy beat the Syndrome?
8 Ball's answer: Yes.
SA's Pick: La Tourette Syndrome
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Mayan Prophecy
So if everything goes according to plan, Alpha will win the Inter-Conference War of season 15 by 9 wins for Alpha to 7 wins for Zeta..
Go out and represent your conference, chuckle heads!!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the Alpha and Zeta teams this week in the Inter-Conference War games!
I spent more time on your avatar than this post.
It’s time to kick start season 15 in the GLB World League!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U52sP25ynE
Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and girls of all ages!
Mr. and Mrs. America, all the ships at sea and all of our troops across the globe!
WELCOME, to the greatest write ups on Earth!
YES, it’s SA’s Sport’s Page and it has landed smack dab in the middle of the World League in GLB! (You lucky SOB’s)
It’s me, SA, and I run the Sport’s Page and all of its affiliate’s. This is quite possibly the greatest thing invented up by the good Lord since canned tuna!
And you guys get to enjoy each and every issue throughout season 15 in the World League!
So maybe you’re askin’ yerself, wtf is the Sport’s Page?
Well this is it, chuckle head! A week by week write up that has been going on since season 5!
Started up in Africa then moved to Eastern Europe where it has become an institution!
If you've ever been a regular in Eastern Europe, then you've probably seen or heard of an issue or two.
Many have hoped to one day be in the same league as the Sport’s Page, but few have had the privilege to actually witness it happen.
So enough with the introductions, let’s get this season started!!
There are a few things I have to explain to you players before we get started. first there is....................
THE PIMP CUP!!!
Every season I hand out a trophy to the winners of each season and it has become known far and wide as the Pimp Cup……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/pc3.jpg
Past winners of the fabled Pimp Cup Trophy include…………
Season 5 – Banghazi Barbary Lions
Season 6 – Pretoria Pigs
Season 7 – Czech Yourself
Season 8 – Paris Smexies
Season 9 – Wildflecken Wolverines
Season 10 – Banja Luka Funky Bunch
Season 11 – Pirgos Warlords
Season 12 – Warsaw Gods of War
Season 13 – Jefferson City Bucks
Season 14 – C-Town Hoodlums
Season 15 – insert team name here
Last season’s Pimp Cup winner are the C-Town Hoodlum’s right here in the WL. They will get the honor of trying to defend the Pimp Cup.
Winning the Pimp cup is a glorious feeling and will earn you untold wealth and fabulous riches. And, I might add, that it doesn't hurt to have a Pimp Cup handy when talking to the ladies, if you know what I mean.
I mean, sex.
Tail.
Pussy.
Getting laid.
Bumping uglies.
Knockin' boots.
Laying pipe.
Hiding the salami.
Penis in vagenus.
It will get you laid beyond all belief at certain internet porn sites that are under $3.99 a minute.
Did you really think it would get you laid in real life?
Dude, you are playing a football MMO and are probably living in your parent's basement, if you want real life sex you will have to pay for it or blow up the doll just like the rest of us.
The Hot Chick Lounge
Ok, so what happens is this.................
If you lose 9 games in a season,
If you just suck,
If you are or go CPU,
If you give up,
If I decide that you just absolutely have no chance in hell,
or if you are mathematically eliminated from competition..........................you go to a little bar I own called the Hot Chick Lounge. There you will sit out the rest of the season and watch REAL teams play dotball, but you will be doing it in the far too friendly company of semi-hot yet very trashy women.
Doesn't sound too bad, eh? Well it will feel bad after spending time in there and realizing you have crabs or the clap from the semi-hot yet very trashy women of the Hot Chick Lounge.
So.........................
Will your team have the....................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/rather-large-elephant.jpg
.......to win it all.
Or will your team just be another ................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/pussymcslosh.jpg
Will your team be the one to smack destiny on the ass and win a World League title?
Will your team be the one to twist the nipples of fate and take home a Pimp Cup?
Stop with the questions and read the Sport's Page and find out, chuckle heads!!
So I've said it for 10 straight seasons and it must be said for every season of the Sport's Page to begin................
..........................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!
So these rankings are no good at all.
They are not accurate at all and were never intended to be in this issue. They are for entertainment purposes only.
In fact, they are in no particular order at all, I just took them off the CPU rankings at the time they were made.
BUT the rankings sooner or later fall into place and end up correct every time.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Le chaudron (The cauldron)
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-0 – WE Pro champions
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Crashtrask, forestrobin
Head Coach: GMathias
OC: hatchman
Asst OC: joeami
ST Coach: inej
Scouts: head1
Report: There have been many syndrome’s to come across GLB like China, Down, Stockholm, but none have been as successful or harder to cure as La Tourette.
OMG! I almost had a heart attack! I thought that WR I’m Open was actually my ex, but if it were my ex she would have named her player, I’m Very Wide Open…………….that slut.
On defense, the masters of shutting down the aerial assault are the 2 great CB’s, Franky4Fingers and CJ Woodson. These two are inseparable fools that love to double team any receiver that gets in their way or anything they can pay $50.
Next opponent: Mayan Prophecy (0-0)
#2 Krungthep Garudas (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Battlefield Bangkok
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0 – SEA Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: fool, tautology
OC: Joe Rice
Asst OC: LeadUsNot
DC: ghuffman
Asst DC: kurieg, sckbleh
Scouts: ThaiGQ
Report: If my French serves me correctly, and it always does, I believe that Krungthep was an ancient town in northern California discovered by Franciscan monks and a Garuda is a spicy broth made from onion, peppers and cactus served over a warm bed of rice with a nice Cavit pinot grigio ‘05. Mmmmm, sounds delicious.
FB Nacho Momma is the first half-black, half-latino player to be a star in GLB. GLB brings people together from all across the globe. Thanks Bort.
On defense the star is Galactus – Devourer of Quarterbacks. You might recognize the name because his father played in GLB too. His father was the first GLB player to come out of the closet, Erectus – Violator of Quarterbacks.
Next opponent: at Sofia Spiders (0-0)
#3 Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Etosha
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0 – African Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: StiffarmSteve
Head Coach: Sledge
OC: tricon
DC: randey
Scouts: Ryiotgear, GoHooterGo
Report: Last seasons African Pro Champions are here and ready to take on the best the WL has to offer!
The heart of the offense is TE Karl Zagrabrewski, he changed his name from Karl Grabbabrewski after hitting step 9 in his 12 step AA program.
All you tight ends better watch out for DE Impact Device. The best way to get a tight end open is with an impact device, imo.
Next opponent: at Moose Jaw Rough Riders (0-0)
#4 Chocolate Blaze (0-0) -
Team Rating: 75
Stadium: The Hot Box
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/2-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 12 Addicts Tournament 2nd Place
Season 13 Addicts Tournament 3rd Place
Season 14 Addicts Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: blin4lyf, PierreThomas
Head Coach: David Stern
Report: There are a lot of stars on the Blaze’ offense, but it is QB Teabag McJorts that stands out the most. Not for his GLB ability, but because after every TD pass he grabs the nearest opposing player, throws them to the ground and proceeds to teabag the poor soul until the whistle blows. It’s pretty sick, I know, but what are you gonna’ do?
The D-line is home to wonder NT, Stuffin’ The Gap. You want to keep this guy clear of your HB’s and your wives, GF’s or mistresses, if you know what I mean.
Next opponent: College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0)
#5 NBA Jam (0-0) -
Team Rating: 75
Stadium: Monkey man field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/3-1
Titles Won: 5 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: DavidStern, PhilJackson
Head Coach: PierreThomas
ST Coach: cowtesticles2001
Scouts: pained, cliffhangergg, MickJames
Report: The Jam’s offense is tough to stop, especially with a FB like Were Wolf!. The only thing that can stop him is a silver bullet or one of those squeaky chew toys, he goes crazy for a game of fetch. But be warned, if this dude sinks his teeth into you, you could be finding yourself sprouting hair in places where there wasn’t any before, chasing after tail and licking your own balls, but that could just be puberty you’re going through. Didn’t everyone lick their own balls during puberty?
On defense there is CB Reggie Miller. He went from former basketball legend to a GLB superstar. But don’t worry too much, because he plays GLB just like he did in the NBA, great in the regular season and chokes in the playoffs.
Next opponent: So Cal BDC (0-0)
#6 October Wildfire (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Oktic Centre
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Octowned, damanwithdamoves
Head Coach: comeasur337
Asst OC: jbleich, NiborRis
Report:
If you are thinkin’ that these blokes are some goody two-shoe bitches, think again. Their leader is QB Riff Raff, yes THAT Riff Raff. Not only did he do battle with Under Dog, but on the football field he is wanted for felony arson for torching opposing secondaries with his passes. There is a reward, so if you catch him please contact the local authorities.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/riff-raff.jpg
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the main man on the D. Too bad for offenses because his game play is WAY much better than his acting ability and movies.
Next opponent: at Valhalla (0-0)
#7 Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Guru Dome
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/4-0 – Oceania Pro champions
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: refguru
Head Coach: Boozer
DC: GoatLocker
Scouts: StrayDoug
Report: The last time I met with the Groupies I got crabs, but this time I’m ready for them. This time I……………what?...............it’s Gurupies and not Groupies………….never mind.
OT Bi Curious moves from center to OT this season because the QB felt uncomfortable every time he put his hands between Bi Curious’ legs to take the snap, Bi Curious would say “that’s the spot”.
On defense, the leader of this top notch squad is DE Master Sack, I think Master Sack is just another name for playing with yourself.
Next opponent: at Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0)
#8 Graz Grizzlies (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Grizzlies Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: godgib
Head Coach:
Asst OC: GaDawg
DC: Yakini
ST Coach: sam acw
Report: The runner up team last season in WE Pro makes it to the WL and are ready to tear apart anyone who stands in their way!
The main man on offense is kicker Head Cheese. Why does his name sound like a very nasty STD?
On the defensive side of things, it is FS Hospital Bill that runs things. Not only will he make a tackle or INT, but he can hurt a player, heal him and bill him on the spot all on the same play.
Next opponent: at Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0)
#9 East St Louis Tire Fires (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Tom Waits Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 13-3/0-1
Titles Won: 5 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Rusty Trombone, Doug Plank
OC: bhall43
ST Coach: NickS
Scouts: HurricaneBear
Report: Going 13-3 and then ousted by the Esplosion last season is no fun at all.
But the Tire Fires are back and burning brighter than ever and looking to add another trophy to the closet.
On offense, look out for Hunter Helmsley. Not only can he catch the ball, but if he gets you in his grasp he will surely give you the Pedigree or a sledge hammer to the fore head.
On defense I have only to say two words, Psalm 69.
I believe Psalm 69 goes something like “Go now ye’ into GLB and stuffeth the run game like a mofo’, for ye’ are a messenger of the Lord”
Next opponent: Ministry of Dotball (0-0)
#10 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Cripplers Crib
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 11-5/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: rissob
DC: austin.jones
Asst DC: mingo23
Report: Well coming in second in the African Pro League means nothing up here. You’ll need more than a Penance Stare and a supped up motor scooter to make it in this league.
Ok, if you are looking at the guy to stop on offense then you aren’t looking for a man, man. You’re lookin’ for a MONSTER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcZGRCU8s3g
….OG Go Godzilla is one mean mutha’ with a case of bad breath and if your team plays in Tokyo………………….RUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!
The defensive star of the team is OLB Gouda Goo. I have no freakin’ idea what the fuck a Gouda is and I definitely don’t want to know what his goo is. So it may be best to just stay away from this dude.
Next opponent: Bonn Dynamo (0-0)
#11 Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Explodome
Last Sason Record/Playoffs: 11-5/1-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 8 Tournament of Champions 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: Gart888, ksychic
Head Coach: Deathblade
Asst OC: avgbrad
DC: Asheme
Asst DC: Kingdan23, w alloy
ST Coach: cwrujosh
Scouts: Barnsie
Report: So these guys are still in love with themselves after winning the WL championship in seasons 11 and 12, but this is a “What the fuck have you done for me lately bitch?” league and last season going 11-5 and dropped in round 2 is pretty much nothing.
But hey, they are here, they’re queer, so let’s get it in gear!
On offense you have HB extraordinaire, Christian Dior. Not only will he rush for a 100 yards a game, but he will smell good doing it too.
On defense, look out for Baby Elmo. He is the brother of Tickle Me Elmo and the cousin of Diddle Me Elmo.
Next opponent: at Korb Destroyers (0-0)
#12 Queen City Black Cats (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Lair
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 10-6/0-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: rocklee711, Dan4GS
Head Coach: chronoaug
OC: ep3388
Scouts: BlitZxSiN, Delts76
Report: Last season these guys went 10-6 and one and done in the playoffs, but this season they are looking to improve ion it, like go 11-5 and lose in the second round of the playoffs.
On offense I am impressed by G Too Fat To Practice. He’s fat, he doesn’t like to practice and he’s honest about it. What say you and me go get a Fat Ass burger down at Fat Ass’ Bar and Grill?
On defense, look out for that D-line. John P. Jones and Kodiak Hall are going to be clogging up the middle so no RB will get 100 yards on this defense.
Side note: The starting four D-line are last years champion sausage eating team at Flaming Billy’s Alternative Bar and Dance Hall in San Francisco last year and this year they are looking to stuff as many sausages in their mouths as they can.
Good luck with that.
Next opponent: Cincinnati Shockers (0-0)
#13 Warsaw Wrath (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Drunken Farmers Field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: kswass, slappdogg
Head Coach: briano32
OC: kswass
Asst OC: Loonzilla
DC: glwarriors
Report: Another one and done team from last season, let’s just hope this team from Warsaw doesn’t end up as just another Polish joke.
On offense, the man to fear is WR Bort’s Addiction. There are only 2 things that Bort is addicted to…………flex and sock puppet porn. You don’t want to see him hopped up on either one.
The defensive star of this team is LOLB Wall Street, but let’s just hope for his teams sake he won’t need a government bail out this season.
Next opponent: Dakar Dragons (0-0)
#14 Providence Radicals (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Dunk
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Pariah, jdbolick
Head Coach: GridIronKing34
Asst OC: WiSelVlaN
Asst DC: Donovan Tatum
Report: Last season these guys were one and out in the playoffs. This season could be there season, but they need to do one thing to get a golden trophy………get past the 1st round.
On offense the leader is QB Boobie Loot. He has a big, firm, round………….uh, arm……….that makes throws that could make an old man crap hisself.
Defensively, there is Fart Donovan. If you aren’t careful, old Fart could create a big stink stuffing the run and sacking QB’s.
Next opponent: Lincoln Navigators (0-0)
#15 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Wang Clan Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 9-7/0-1
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 9 Pro World Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owner: HurricaneWarriors, ufshowboat
Head Coach: datongw
OC: kwankwan
Asst OC: johnbarber
Asst DC: StoutOne DTD
ST Coach: Eli Blanton
Report: The Wife Carriers were 9-7 in WL last season and made it to the playoffs…….and that’s where it ends.
These guys have the pleasure of having one of the meanest and nastiest and dirtiest players to ever grace the monitors of GLB, FB Alexei Sauerkraut. If he was a nice guy they would have named him Sweetkraut instead of Sauerkraut. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
On defense the big man is Tiny Weeny. Remember, it’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it. But that’s not what my ex would say……………….that slut.
Next opponent: at Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0)
#16 Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: The Radioactive Coop
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 8-8
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: badmonkey51, mwoods07
Head Coach: shull
OC: aceor
Asst OC: Dacolts
Asst DC: Barnsie
ST Coach: warax
Report: Last season these guys went 8-8 and missed the playoffs by a dick hair.
This season they want to go 9-7 and miss the playoffs by a dick hair. With the right amount of training and dedication, I think they can do it.
Their best offensive player is kicker My Contract Says: 12 Plays a Game.
I believe that if he doesn’t get the 12 plays stated in said contract, then by the stroke of midnight he turns into T.O. and whines, bitches and cries 24 seven.
On defense I will tell you all right now to keep an eye on the NT, Ila Senora De La Muerte! I believe “Ila Senora De La Muerte” is Indonesian for “I like to eat at the Muerte”. I think that Muerte is Indonesia’s version of the Waffle House.
Next opponent: C-Town Hoodlums (0-0)
Good luck to all the teams in Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The "Petri" Dish
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-4
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 13 Real Thing Tournament 3rd Place
Season 11 AA Tournament 3rd Place
Staff: Owners: Bone Saw, SSlayton10
Head Coach: crazy454
Asst OC: Lovie
ST Coach: Shalubis
Scouts: bigdrew1111, byrongame21
Report: Ok, this is the first time I'm going to ask to ban a guy. HB Charles "Professor X" Xavier has too much of an unfair advantage. I mean come on, the guy is an X-Man, he's telepathic and to top it off he has that maxed out wheel chair! I mean the thing can fly, y'all!
But if you do catch him in the wheel chair, a quick punch to the nuts will keep him from getting inside your head with his telephoning abilities.
On defense watch out for LB Traffic Cop. He tells opposing HB's when it's time to stop, go or whatever. If you don't abide by the law it could mean a 50 flex fine and 20 days in county, so avoid this guy at all costs.
Next opponent: Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0)
#2 Valhalla (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Odin's Bowl
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/4-0
Titles Won: 4 League Championships
6 Conference Championships
Season 13 Real Thing Tournament 1st Place
Season 13 Addicts Tournament Champions
Season 14 Addicts Tournament Champions
Staff: Owners: w alloy
Head Coach: RandomBeast
Scouts: PP, sckbleh
Report: The best thing about offensive stud Will I Am Hayes is that you know he has to be tappin' Fergie's ass. Tell the truth now, you ARE hittin' that shit, right?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/fergie-is-hot-in-red.jpg
The defense is strong against the pass due to CB Idi the Nigerian. Wait a minute........Idi the Nigerian?...............so you are the guy sending me all those e-mail scam letters! You dick! Trying to scam people out of their hard earned money so you can buy flex is pretty.........well it's very, uh................actually, that'sa a pretty good idea. How do I get in on this scam?
Next opponent: October Wildfire (0-0)
#3 Lincoln Navigators (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Edward "Babe" Gomez Memorial Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 16-0/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 12 Addicts Tournament 1st Place
Season 8 Pro World Tournament 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: ddingo, djgomez33
OC: bhall43
Asst OC: CTap, Sik Wit It
Asst DC: JTD, majech
ST Coach: Modok
Report: All you opposing defenses need to keep a lid on the Navigators WR America Fuk Ya. He gets the team all pumped up and ready to kick some terrorist ass! You don't like it? Get the F out of the country! It's America baby! Fuk ya! USA! USA! USA!
On defense there is none better than FS Dijon Sanders. He spreads like mustard but is a whole lots betta'! Plus he goes great on just about anything, like turkey, ham, pastrami, roast beef, bologna, salami..................
Next opponent: at Providence Radicals (0-0)
#4 Cincinnati Shockers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Thunder Dome
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/3-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 10 Pro World Tournaments Champions
Season 10 Hazy Addicts Tournament Champions
Staff: Owners: cincredfan, PP
Head Coach: JTD
OC: MadMustaff
Asst OC: bigking0505
Asst DC: ddingo
Scouts: sbg80
Report: Well I have to go with my heart on this one. I'm a Bronco's fan and I says the bestest player on the Shockers offense is Bronco Zimmerman. He can block, he can pancake, he can trip the light fandango and do cartwheels cross the stage! He is a Denver bronco!
On defense it is the Dean of Destruction that will be roaming the field looking to learn all you students of the game how this MMO is REALLY played! Class is in session, chuckle heads!
Next opponent: at Queen City Black Cats (0-0)
#5 C-Town Hoodlums (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Hoodlum Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 15-1/4-0
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: lemdog, CaboWabo
Head Coach: Ubasstards
OC: Derek McFadden
Asst OC: Stobie, jrry32
DC: gocincinnati
Asst DC: GTW21, Genoc1de
ST Coach: UCLABUCSFAN
Scouts: Duckfan127, Ahrens858, Rube, MarkTaylorTSax
Report: 404 Not Found Try Again Later................don't be fooled you defenses. HB "404 Not Found Try Again Later" is there and ready to bum rush you unexpecting defenses. No shit, he will do it.
The Hoodlum D is led by Del the Funkee Homosapien. None is funkier than he and none are smellier than he. There are two reasons the call him funkee, he can groove his ass off and the guy hasn't bathed in 7 seasons. Bring Lysol to this game or you could go home smellin' like the underwear that he hasn't changed in those same 7 seasons.
Next opponent: at Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0)
#6 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: The House on the Hill
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/2-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: tautology
ST Coach: fool
Scouts: turnit643, Joe Rice
Report: See, now this is a team that takes risks. This is a team that is willing to use anything to their advantage. The use of monkeys as players on a team is pure genius. I mean, the army uses monkeys to blow themselves up on land mines, so why shouldn't we use them on the field of battle that is GLB?
LG Battlechimp Potempkin and CB The Monkey That Would Be King are two examples of using primates to play dotball. The drawback of using monkeys is that they sometimes drink their own piss and eat their poop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-yZFbzaWbg
Have fun on the field.
Next opponent: Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0)
#7 Sofia Spiders (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Web
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: jbleich
Head Coach: rommvon the magical
Asst OC: taurran
DC: Soul Reaper
ST Coach: Talcion
Report: The offense for the Spiders isn't the most prolific scoring offense, but it is the most fun to watch with kicker Trudy Uprights. Trudy is accurate and loves to do those high kicks in warm ups. The best part is that she never wears underwear, so make sure you get a good seat when she goes out to kick a FG.
The defense rests in the hands of FS Deadbeat Beaver. Is that how a porn actress feels after a gang bang scene?
Next opponent: Krungthep Garudas (0-0)
#8 Mayan Prophecy (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: THE SACRIFICIAL TEMPLE
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/2-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 12 Real Thing Tournament 3rd Place
Staff: Owners: mcallero, z0s022
Head Coach: tigerbait22
OC: husker4life
Asst OC: Redass Ranch
DC: SErebel11
ST Coach: kswass
Scouts: Kurt Davey, wizardnno
Report: If you are going to have someone anchor your O-line, there is none better than C BIG EZ. What's funny is that "Big EZ" is what my best friend used to call my ex as a nickname and........................wait a minute.......................THAT SLUT!!!!
The best player on the Prophecy is their punter Joe Blow and if you pay him enough, he will.
Next opponent: at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0)
#9 Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Smugglers' Hideaway
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/3-1
Titles Won: 2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: boondocksaint, punkrockforyou
Asst OC: j10er, Gabrosin
DC: ddingo
ST Coach: rawss
Scouts: Darwood
Report: The Smugglers G Ethel Mertz could be one of the best ever if you can keep her away from that friend of hers Lucy Ricardo. Every time those two get together, wackiness ensues.
SS FatDrunk andStupid plays exactly how his name implies, he's my idol. You go, boy!
Next opponent: Graz Grizzlies (0-0)
#10 Moose Jaw Roughriders (0-0) -
Team Rating: 69
Stadium: Roughriders Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/4-0
Titles Won: 3 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: dimmy finster, teamriots
Head Coach: SLZmonster
OC: tomb4444
Asst OC: colinbomber, aid40
Asst DC: jabber40, Nevilj33
ST Coach: TouchdownTommy
Report: Be glad that BigFoot ProudFoot is playing GLB and not his porn star cousin, BigCock ProudCock. You don't want to see how he whacks FG's through uprights.
It's DT Big Weed that gives opposing O-lines fits. He's mean, he's green and he will always light one up on the scene. Just remember to pass the doobie to the left hand side.
Next opponent: Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0)
#11 Dakar Dragons (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: The Pit
Last Sason Record/Playoffs:
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
2 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: head1, GMathiasf
Head Coach: PML97
DC: Parab00n
Scouts: Wutzke, arlacuesta, tdougie1
Report: The Dragons would be nothing without kicker Tom "Iceman" Kazansky. Not only can he kick a mile long FG, he can fly F-16's, shoot down MIG's and star opposite Tom Cruise in a major blockbuster motion picture. Is there nothing he can't do?
You wanna' know the secret to super special teams star punter Addison BigBoot?..............those big boots that BigBoots wears are Prada.
Next opponent: at Warsaw Wrath (0-0)
#12 Ministry of Dotball (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: MoD Pit
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 14-2/1-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Season 14 Addicts Tournament 3rd Place
Season 9 Tournament of Champions 2nd Place
Staff: Owners: Stobie, crazy454
Head Coach: Fondo the Wise
OC: kalkmanc
Asst OC: Parab00n
DC: blump
Asst DC: Joebarber
Scouts: Joe Rice
Report: The captain of the offense is none other than the star center, Mick Titty. I hope he has a twin Titty.
If you end up on the bottom of a pile up with LB Meso Hornie on top and you feel him nudging you in the ass, it's best to just let him ride it out and in a minute he'll be asleep.
Next opponent: at East St. Louis Tire Fires (0-0)
#13 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Tecmo Bowl
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 13-3/3-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Chop Lobster, luniz024
Head Coach: da raiders
OC: StinkCheese
Asst DC: Cactus71, Dolphan9954
ST Coach: gocincinnati
Scouts: SZA, Sanders, strikezone20,Critwit
Report: The College Town offense is kept in motion by the running of HB Carmine Ragusa. You might remember him from a 70's and 80's sitcom called Laverne and Shirley. In the show he was a tap dancing and singing boxer that was constantly taking cold showers. Yep, you guessed it, he's a bitch.
The defense is stacked with DT Natural Breast II. And I'm glad that he mentions 2 natural breasts, because there is nothing more fun than a pair of big, round, full, firm natural breasts that you can grab a hold of and.............................excuse me? what did you say?.............his name is Natural Beast II and not Natural Breast II?................well that doesn't sound very fun, now does it.
Next opponent: Chocolate Blaze (0-0)
#14 Bonn Dynamo (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Lorelei Stadium
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 11-5/1-1
Titles Won: 1 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Season 10 Pro League Champions
Season 11 Hazy/Addicts Champions
Staff: Owners: kurieg
Head Coach: Wrath Of Connor
OC: morid
Asst OC: d bullock
Asst DC: Spirer
ST Coach: Mstr October
Report: Look out defenses, LOT Iam TheWedge is here and looking to pancake some players. He is also the brother of that famous musician Iam TheWalrus, so koo-koo-kachoo to you dude.
I have no idea how good the Bonn defense is, but I would look out for LOLB Lewd Dude if I were you, for obvious reasons of course. The good thing is that he won't be allowed within 1500 yards of an elementary or high school for 3-5 years with good behavior.
Next opponent: at Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0)
#15 So Cal BDC (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: MJ Field
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 10-6/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
3 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: shutdown, jdros13
Head Coach: PatricktheDookie
OC: GregB
Asst OC: xcoach2
Report: I'm sure all offenses want to be as smooth as the So Cal HB Velvet Jackson, but few are. Not only is Velvet a GLB superstar and terrific athlete, but he was also voted Pimp of the Year by the United Pimps and Bitch Slappers Association. Way to go, Velvet.
On defense be sure to game plan for Deez Nutzzzzzz, you do not want this guy tackling you and pulling a tea bag while you are still on the ground.
Next opponent: at NBA Jam (0-0)
#16 Korb Destroyers (0-0) -
Team Rating: 72
Stadium: Schwabenpark
Last Season Record/Playoffs: 8-8/0-1
Titles Won: 2 League Championships
4 Conference Championships
Staff: Owners: Disastermaster
DC: nyfoot2003
ST Coach: stizz
Scouts: PFDS
Report: Be warned all you defensive players! TE Twoway Threat goes both ways and is not shy about it at all. If this TE turns into a wide receiver I would run like hell.
The defense models itself after the famed "No Name Defense", but it calls itself the "Out of Names" defense after their stud LDE Out Of Names. After playing against him, all opposing offenses will know his name very well.
Next opponent: Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0)
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
*****WEEK 1 ALPHA VS ZETA INTER-CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball and I've been doing prediction battles with it for 10 straight seasons and only lost one season to that dammed 8-ball!
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1:
Overall:
SA’s GOW:
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW:
Mayan Prophecy (0-0) at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) = La Tourette Syndrome (Alpha)
Krungthep Garudas (0-0) at Sofia Spiders (0-0) = Krungthep Garudas (Alpha)
Windhoek White Rhinos (0-0) at Moose Jaw Rough Riders (0-0) = Moose Jaw Rough Riders (Zeta)
College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-0) at Chocolate Blaze (0-0) = Chocolate Blaze (Alpha)
So Cal BDC (0-0) at NBA Jam (0-0) = NBA Jam (Alpha)
October Wildfire (0-0) at Valhalla (0-0) = Valhalla (Zeta)
Indianapolis Gurupies (0-0) at Minneapolis Masterminds (0-0) = Indianapolis Gurupies (Alpha)
Graz Grizzlies (0-0) at Porto Alegre Smugglers (0-0) = Porto Alegre Smugglers (Zeta)
Ministry of Dotball (0-0) at East St Louis Tire Fires (0-0) = East St Louis Tire Fires (Alpha)
Bonn Dynamo (0-0) at Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-0) = Ghost Riders In The Sky (Alpha)
Haliblack Rap Esplosion (0-0) at Korb Destroyers (0-0) = Haliblack Rap Esplosion (Alpha)
Cincinnati Shockers (0-0) at Queen City Black Cats (0-0) = Cincinnati Shockers (Zeta)
Dakar Dragons (0-0) at Warsaw Wrath (0-0) = Warsaw Wrath (Alpha)
Lincoln Navigators (0-0) at Providence Radicals (0-0) = Lincoln Navigators (Zeta)
Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (0-0) at Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-0) = Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (Zeta)
C-Town Hoodlums (0-0) at Sparta Battle Chickens (0-0) = C-Town Hoodlums (Zeta)
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
Mayan Prophecy (0-0) at La Tourette Syndrome (0-0) -
Ok, so there is only one venue that is strong enough, big enough and tough enough to contain two premier teams to start of season 15 and the very first World League GOW and that place is known as..............................THUNDER DOME!!!..............(brought to you by the Sport's Page)
That's right, it's time to unlock the gates to Thunder dome and get the GOW under way!
Two teams enter!
One team leaves!
So let's go over the rules to Thunder dome, shall we?
THERE ARE NO RULES, DICKHEAD!!!
There is just two teams locked in a steel cage and we put a Burger King Whopper in the middle of the cage. Who ever goes hungry, loses!
Knives? Small fire arms? Hand grenades?
LEGAL!
Pulling hair and kicking like a girl?
It's kind of sissy like, but..............DO IT!!
Using the predictions of an ancient native Latin American people to use against opposing teams as an advantage to get a win?
HELL'S YEAH!
Anything goes in Thunder Dome!
So, yo Bort, let's get this bitch simmed already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Prophecy beat the Syndrome?
8 Ball's answer: Yes.
SA's Pick: La Tourette Syndrome
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Mayan Prophecy
So if everything goes according to plan, Alpha will win the Inter-Conference War of season 15 by 9 wins for Alpha to 7 wins for Zeta..
Go out and represent your conference, chuckle heads!!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the Alpha and Zeta teams this week in the Inter-Conference War games!
I spent more time on your avatar than this post.
Great stuff, glad to see there will be entertainment in season 15!
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