Warrior General Games

1 Uganda Silverbacks (7-0) Another day, another dollar for the Sexy ones, with a 103-7 W over the Deutschland Dööm. One more game 'til Angola. Next game: Nigerian Nightmares (1-6)

2 Angola Blood Diamonds (7-0) 20-13 win over the Mayotte Metal Militia. ABD built up a 17-0 lead and held off a 2nd half MMM comeback. Big plays from HB David Michael Miller helped push the Blood Diamonds over the top. A virtual day off against the outgunned Deutschland Dööm before welcoming the Silverbacks to the Mine Shaft. Next up: Deutchland (2-5)

3 Ivory Coast Breakers (7-0) 224-0 win over Sahara. Conf. rushing leader Tiger Bay broke 400 yds for the third time this season, on only 14 carries, inducing the home fans into a diabetic coma triggered by maniacal overconsumption of nachos, hot dogs and sodas. Next up: Dogs of War (3-4)

4 Kalahari Bushmen (7-0) Kalahari head coach Ronnie Brown took a fishing trip last week, and caught a 430 lb Chilean Seabass which ate his dog, beer cooler, and three deck chairs. Looks like he gets to stay on vacation another week. Next up: Sahara ShadowChasers (1-6)

5 MaRAWK!! o (5-2) 122-3 over the Nigerian Nightmares. Punter Woodi DeWhitt had the highest punt avg in Canadian AA #2 (Western) in Season 12. His 95 year old grandma had never seen him play and came all the way from Slackawicki, Manitoba to watch Slakawicki's most famous son do his thing, only to have Woodi not called on to punt once. Moral of the game: BillSaidSux must hate 95 year old grandmas (not that there's anything they can do about it, tbh). Next up: Santa Ana Swine Flu (1-6)

6 Mayotte Metal Militia (5-2) A hell of a game vs ABD. The Metal Militia fought back from a 17 point deficit to bring the score to within 4 with six minutes remaining in the game, but it wasn't enough as ABD emerged with the 20-13 win. A rare losing streak for MMM, and a big game coming up: Kilimanjaro Sting (5-2)

7 Kilimanjaro Sting (5-2) The Sting extended their winning streak to 5 games with a 29-17 win over the Dogs of War. A big 4th quarter from HB Fast Times helped the Sting come back from a 10 point deficit, including a 50 yard juke-fest nail-in-the-coffin with little more than two minutes to go in the game which put the game on ice. A tough matchup next week: at Mayotte (5-2)

8 The Dead Presidents (4-3) In very good position to make the playoffs with a solid 51-0 win over the Swine Flu. WR George HW Bush caught 9 passes for 147.5 yds as TDP rolled up nearly 600 net yds. Next up: Barcelona Blaze (1-6)

9 Dogs of War (3-4) On the back of two HB Adrian Johnson touchdowns, held a 17-7 halftime lead against Kilimanjaro, but couldn't hang on, giving up 19 in the 4th quarter. It was one of those games where every play counted, but when Kilimanjaro stopped the DoW on a 3rd and 0.5yd conversion attempt early in the 3rd Q, you could feel the momentum shift, and the Dogs would only gain two more first downs for the game. The chances of breaking their 3 game losing streak look bleak next week as one of the undefeateds come to town: Ivory Coast (7-0)

10 Santa Ana Swine Flu (1-6) A 51 point loss to TDP drops the Swine Flu a spot. Santa Ana HB Hands McBack broke 100yds on 22 carries, but needed alot more help than he got. With the season less than halfway over, Santa Ana is looking like a very long longshot for the playoffs, but in a couple of weeks is going tot get to a much more favorable section of the schedule. Next up: MaRawk!! o

11 Covington Black Knights (3-4) Last game: 37-20 over Barcelona. After trading blows early on, Covington took the lead in the 2nd quarter and never gave it up again. Black Knight HB H.I. McDonough gained 192 yds on 17 carries and 1 TD behind a dominating offensive line. Next up, Covington gets to .500 against P-Town (0-7).

12 Barcelona Blaze (1-6) A hard loss for the Blaze vs the Black Knights. Brought it to within 7 with a 26.5 yd FG early in the 4th Q, but couldn't keep the Black Knights corralled. With 9 games to go, the Blaze will need to pull off an unlikely upset in the next two weeks to have any hopes at a playoff spot. Next up: The Dead Presidents (4-3)

13 Nigerian Nightmares (1-6) Outmatched and outgunned last week vs MaRawk!! o, falling 3-122, there's no relief to be had next game: Uganda (7-0)

14 Deutschland Dööm (2-5) All things considered, a 7-103 loss to Uganda was probably better than expected by many. With two wins under their belts, the Doom have likely avoided relegation already. On a related note, it's too bad there's not more parity in GLB. There are plenty of teams out there the Doom could be competitive with. 103-7 is hardly worth the flex for either side. Next game: ABD (7-0)

15 Sahara ShadowChasers (1-6) A 0-224 loss to Ivory Coast keeps the scoreboard repairman happy. Next up: Kalahari (7-0)

16 P-Town Ballaz (0-7) I just finished reading this history of Lewis and Clark and I had no idea that Lewis went kinda crazy not long after successfully completing a pretty amazing and very tough adventure/exploration. The most famous/celebrated man in America after they got back, made governor of the Louisiana Territory, and on a trip back from St.Louis to Washington to explain some bills to the bureaucrats, he tries several times to kill himself, is stopped by his men, but at an inn gets hold of some gunpowder, shoots himself in the head in the middle of the night (but survives), tries again in the chest, with the bullet passing down and exiting near the spine, calls out to the innkeepers wife for a drink of water, staggers/crawls outside to a tree, pulls himself upright, staggers back inside, and at daybreak is found cutting himself open from head to toe with a blade. He asks for some water, complains that his body is too strong to die, tries to talk his servants into shooting his brains out (promising he won't be mad if they do), and eventually bleeds to death. Next game: Covington Black Knights (3-4)

Excellent write up AC...Is that true about Lewis???? If not you had me line and sinker, if so I need to read more about it.
Vegas

few teams out of position, but a great write up none the less.

Our punter's leg is very valuable. We will not be using it any more than required. I hate grandmas.

sweeeeeet write up!

Great Write Up man! Though I doubt anyone is getting demoted unless they ask for it specifically. Too many teams moved up in the first place.

LOL epic

Great write up.

Originally posted by VegasABD
Excellent write up AC...Is that true about Lewis???? If not you had me line and sinker, if so I need to read more about it.
Vegas

Yeah, actually - except I left out that when he was cutting himself up, he was apparently lying on a bearskin rug.

Pretty sad story.

1 Uganda Silverbacks (8-0) The Silverbacks squeezed by the Nightmares 106-7. The win was 1 point shy of the spread, causing many an angry fan in Uganda's Vegas (wherever the hell that might be). HBs Gorilla Your a Desperado and Lowell Caroll combined for 584 rushing yds on 46 carries. Things is gonna gets reel inerestin next week, though with GAME OF TEH WEEK TIME! Next game: Angola Blood Diamonds (8-0)

2 Angola Blood Diamonds (8-0) 140-3 over the Deutschland Dööm and now they welcome the Silverbacks to the Mine Shaft. Gonna be a biggie, as the ranks of undefeated Elephants drops by one. Next up: Uganda (8-0)

3 Ivory Coast Breakers (8-0) Pretty dominating 86-3 win over the Dogs of War. The Breakers blew up in the 2nd quarter and never looked back. HB Tiger Bay rushed for 341.5 yds on 23 carries with 6 TDs. Next up: Mayotte (5-3)

4 Kalahari Bushmen (8-0) Kalahari head coach Ronnie Brown took a cruise down the Mexican coast last week. The team called in to tell him about the 217-10 win over Sahara. Woke him up cuddling several empty bottles of tequila with a tattoo of a Mexican cutie on his back. He might not be needed next week either. Next up: Dogs of War (3-5)

5 MaRAWK!! o (6-2) MaRawk rolled over the Santa Ana Swine Flu in a 76-3 win. MaRawk guard Zurin E'ci had 38 pancakes in the game, and HBs Drill Bit and Sapp Tooslow romped for over 400 combined yds. Looks like a bout 4 more games against the jr. division of the conference ahead. Next game: Barcelona Blaze (1-7).

6 Kilimanjaro Sting (6-2) Jumped up a spot in the charts with a big 34-17 win over Mayotte. Kilimanjaro opened up a 31-0 lead in the first two quarters and the Sting defense was just too much for MMM. Got lots of pressure on Metal Militia QB Testicouvillerte (I refuse to spell that name correctly from now on). 13 Hurries and 7 sacks translated to a 40 percent completion percentage and 2 picks -- and MMM leading rusher HB Damon Lovecraft was held to 2.2 ypc. Just looking at the other teams MMM has lost to - the Sting look like they could compete with the top of the division. Gets a jr division game before getting their shot in Uganda in a week. Next up: Deutschland Doom (2-6)

7 Mayotte Metal Militia (5-3) Fell behind 0-31 before gaining their footing against the Sting. With the 17-34 loss, that makes 3 in a row for MMM - a long losing streak for a team that didn't lose a game last season. If MMM wants to host a playoff game, they'll need to break that streak ASAP. But the margin for error for that is very slim from here on out. But there's probably little panic in Mayotte-ville: They'll make a dangerous road team in the playoffs, too. They'll just need to fix whatever's causing them to be a poor first half team lately (everybody has 15 in slow starter?). Next game's a biggie, too. Next up: Ivory Coast (8-0)

8 The Dead Presidents (5-3) Solid win over 62-6 win over Barcelona. The Dead ones opened it up in the 2nd Q and went full throttle in the 2nd half. Three TDP HBs broke 100 yds, and the Dead defense just dominated, allowing only 205 net yds. A couple of vacation games coming up (maybe 3 if the Dogs don't pull it together). Next up: P-Town (0-8)

9 Dogs of War (3-5) Overly optimistic about playoff chances to start the season, the Dogs have gotten a cold dose of reality the last four games. We're like the 16 year old kid who's excited to have sneaked into the club, only to find that the bartender won't sell us a drink and only fat girls will dance with us. A 3-86 loss to Ivory Coast last game - the Dogs held fast for one quarter before ICB broke open their 80 oz family-size can of whoopass. Still an outside shot at the playoffs, but will have to beat one of the teams above them on this list, and that's by no means an easy task for these kids. Next up: Kalahari (8-0)

10 Santa Ana Swine Flu (1-7) A 3-76 loss to MaRawk!! o, Santa Ana now heads into the Jr. division portion of their schedule. Expect a few more wins, but it *is* hard to measure the merit of a team that has just been overmatched for most games so far. Though they have a distinct level advantage over Nigerian, with a 1-7 start, no one is handing anything over to the Swine Flu, least of all the Nightmares. It's time to go out and make a statement. Next up: Nigerian (1-7)

11 Covington Black Knights (4-4) 145-0 over P-Town. I really want to put a 4-4 team over a 1-7 team, but the loss to Santa Ana holds me back. A gimmie win over Sahara combined with a less-than-impressive Swine Flu game vs Nigerian may just be enough. After all, the Black Knights are going to be 5-4 and looking good. The Metal Militia are up in a few weeks, and then they run the Gauntlet From Hell to end the season. Next up: Sahara (1-7)

12 Barcelona Blaze (1-7) A 7 game losing streak underway - the latest being a 6-62 loss to the Dead Presidents. Funny how the measure of an overmatched team is how long they hold out before an avalanche of points begins to fall from the other team. Barcelona maybe made it a half vs TDP before the dam broke. I do enjoy the hell out of GLB, but I do think this is an example of something that can be amended. The effect of Stamina/Morale (and even Chemistry) in games where teams are not evenly matched does not work well. I know an answer to that is that maybe the overmatched team needs to pump confidence, but it's not much incentive when you're overmatched everywhere else, and going to lose anyway. /soapbox. Next up: MaRAWK!! o (6-2)

13 Nigerian Nightmares (1-7) 7-106 vs Uganda. Santa Ana is up next, and Nigerian has to be up for a game against another 1-7 team. But will they be able to overcome the level difference? Next up: Santa Ana (1-7)

14 Deutschland Dööm (2-6) 3-140 vs ABD. Not going to ease up for the next few games. Next up: Kilimanjaro (6-2)

15 Sahara ShadowChasers (1-7) 10-217 loss to Kalahari. I like to think of Sahara as the Kramer of the conference: on permanent vacation. Next up: Covington (4-4)

16 P-Town Ballaz (0-8) As I've mentioned before, I'm a huge fan of Japanese anime, which I think is far better produced and more provocative than American animation. Well, a few weeks ago, at an event dedicated to Japanese anime, I was lucky enough to encounter seven young women known collectively as the "Babes of Anime". These beautiful ladies do voice-over work for several anime series including Trinity Blood about the Catholic church battling vampires and Bubblegum Crisis, which features sexy futuristic policewomen taking on monsters that ordinary law enforcement can't handle. I'm particularly attracted to officers Sylia Stingray and Nene Romanova who often appear unannounced in my dreams, so you can imagine how excited I was to meet the gorgeous women who provide the voices for these characters, and, if that weren't thrilling enough, I then found out that there's a channel called the Anime Network that runs anime 24 hours a day. That meant I could hear these ladies' voices continuously every day while staring at my large collectible "Babes of Anime" poster, which is so hot it could melt paint off the wall. Unfortunately, I was then shocked to learn that no East Coast cable provider provides the Anime Network. The Cartoon Network is available here, but they've been cutting back drastically on the number of anime programs in favor of live-action alternatives, and the best they can offer animation-wise is the talking butt detective show, Assy McGee. Bottom line, America? East coast cable companies should carry the Anime Network 24 hours a day so I can always hear the angelic voices of Sylia Stingray and Nene. Next game: TDP (5-3)

Thx arcade, it's Testicouilleverte, just copy & paste

You're right MMM is in panic, just owner is in panic, I need to change something or the sim needs to stop changing every season.

Nice write up. My trip ended this week though

We're like the 16 year old kid who's excited to have sneaked into the club, only to find that the bartender won't sell us a drink and only fat girls will dance with us.

One of the best lines of the season.

Originally posted by Ronnie Brown 23
Nice write up. My trip ended this week though

Thanks, but not quite, I'm afraid - it's like we kept running into a brick wall; but at least we kept getting back up.

Originally posted by AZSEAfan
We're like the 16 year old kid who's excited to have sneaked into the club, only to find that the bartender won't sell us a drink and only fat girls will dance with us.

One of the best lines of the season.

:bows:

Tonight, I am drunk, and it's probably the best time or the worst time to do the next round of rankings.