To further elaborate upon the extraordinary amenities y'all can expect to find down here in
Apocalypse Stadium, we’re fully prepared to accommodate players & staff members who succumb to the cold, macabre touch of the
Grim Reapers and (predictably) don’t survive their “dance with death” here in Grim. While almost all modern football stadiums have a state-of-the-art hospital facilities,
Apocalypse Stadium is unique in all of football by also having a full service mortuary on-site:
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/embalmlab.jpegWe have a wide range of caskets available, ranging from the modern traditional....
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/CopperCasket.jpg ....to the basic "pine box" for cash-strapped franchises.
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/AssembledCasket.jpegFor those preferring a coffin, we have those available too....
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/Coffin2.jpeg ....all of which can be emblazoned with your franchise logos and artwork for an additional fee.
For those owners who are royally pissed at the performance of their team, they can add the ultimate insult by shipping the bodies home in our very special cardboard casket:
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/CardboardCasket.jpegDead players & staffers will be transported via our state-of-the art fleet of ultra-modern hearses, or at additional expense in one of our fully restored antique hearses:
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/Hearse20.jpegFor staff members getting the axe, we have the insulting "Pink Hearse" with an available "GM's Executive Trailer" for those special occasions when the entire "Top Brass" gets expunged at the same time.
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/PinkHearse.JPGWe even have custom grave markers available and mausoleum facilities as well. (Or if the owner is really, really bent, we can just throw the bodies out for the gators for no charge.)
For all those who depart this veil of tears here in Grim, a stone memorial will adorn the walls of
Apocalypse Stadium to permanently enshrine our
Victims of Honor. - Rest assured (and in peace), we are sparing no expense to ensure that y'all will be very well cared for both before and after your expiration when y'all visit us down here in Grim.
http://www.geocities.com/rbl100102/grim03.gif