Originally posted by Bushido Zin
That dude got shat on every day of his goddamn life from step one. Marla Sanger drove his parents completely fucking crazy, and he had to go live with his crippled old grandma. Obviously the kid had serious issues but it doesn't seem like hogwarts has any kind of fucking dedicated counselor to help kids work through emotional and psychological problems, but if you're Harry Goddamn Potter you can waltz in wherever you want and bitch until people help you. Poor fucking neville made to suffer in silence and obscurity using taped-together hand-me-down relics from his parents, who are in an insane asylum, as a constant reminder of what he almost certainly perceives as a failure to help them. Meanwhile, 'Arry fucking potter has to suffer the Immense hardship of living with a fat kid for 10 years before discovering that he's actually super fucking rich and a celebrity. So meanwhile everyone sees neville as some fuckup when the reason he ain't too good at spells is because every time he has to cast one, he's put face to face with an heirloom that reminds him that his father is so crazy that he doesn't even recognize his own son. The only thing he's any good at is herbology, and everyone's like "oh, look, he found his niche" He didn't find his goddamn niche, he found the only realm of study where he isn't bombarded with constant images of his own inadequacy. He can just grow shit in peace and no one will fuck with him.
A couple years pass and they make the DADA club because there's no actual professor, and Neville can start to grow in a proper environment that allows him to actually feel like he's gaining the power that he would have needed to protect his parents, and he becomes a damn fine wizard. Then they get a decent DADA teacher, and harry shuts down the one productive outlet Neville had, sending him back into his spiral
But he finally says "fuck it" And neville, devoid of the sage advice of the most powerful wizard a-fucking-live, with nothing but his own two hands to deal with, steels himself and starts fucking fighting. Hogwarts is under attack by a goddamn evil wizard army and here is harry potter, bitching in a corner and being mopey as hell, and that motherfucker has destiny on his side. Clotho, Atropos, and Lachesis; The only three unde-fucking-niable forces in the entire goddamn universe, who have play over the gods themselves have backed this little shithead with a squiggly line on his face and all he can think to do is go on a goddamn scavenger hunt. Enter Neville "Fuck You, Asshole" Longbottom, practically stepping over the sobbing body of "our hero" to charge out onto the grounds of hogwarts, to what is an almost certain death, displaying unprecedented military genius in stopping the death eaters from killing people, even as he is dragging the wounded to safety.
Even when all shit seems lost, and "our hero" is in a crumpled pile at Snakefucker's feet, Neville tells that asshole to eat shit and shrugs off some bitch-ass spell, pulls a sword out of a fucking hat, and kills a 40 foot fucking magic snake, then, just to top that shit off, he kills a goddamn werewolf.
Harry "Worthless Shithead" Potter, meanwhile, suddenly gains a shitload of confidence when he discovers that all the smartest fucking wizards on earth have been playing him like chess to make it so that he literally cannot lose his fight with Snakeface McAssmouth and suddenly he is the goddamn hero again.
I'm just requoting this because I'm amazed at how well it turned out
