ALPHA CONFERENCE
Sofia Spiders
Record: 6-0
Last game: 41-14 W over Mafia Crew
Rank - 1
Previous Rank - 1
The Spiders have no longer opened a gap between themselves and the rest of the Conference, it’s now a chasm. Week 5 they disposed of the previous #3 team in the Conference in convincing fashion, shutting down a running attack that has been working all season for the Swift Sharks. Running straight up the middle and out to the flats worked wonderfully for the Spiders, posting 273 yards on 27 attempts. They avoided a week 6 slump by arresting the Mafia Crew, allowing just 15 yards on the ground. This team gets the job done on both sides of the ball.
Black Sea Pirates
Record: 5-1
Last game: 55-14 W over Longnecks
Rank - 2
Previous Rank - 5
It was a fairly uneventful couple weeks for the Pirates. They posted two solid wins, but both against bottom tier opponents. But they’re doing what good teams do, blow out bad teams. They continue to utilize a balanced two QB approach between Johnny Yew and Drew Weatherford. The last two weeks, though Weatherford has not played badly, Yew has played considerably better. Week 6 he threw 6 completions, 4 of them for TDs. He’s put up 24 of 37 for 392 yards and 7 TDs while Weatherford has posted 17 of 36 for 185 yards and 3 TDs. Granted, neither stat line is terrible, but if there is a QB competition, Yew is solidly in the lead. Defensively, DE Howard Marx has been all over the QBs, making 5 sacks in the last 2 weeks. All in all, the Pirates are playing at an elite level right now, earning a big move up the rankings.
Berlin Devil Dogs
Record: 4-2
Last game: 23-20 W over Galaxy
Rank - 3
Previous Rank – 2
The Devil Dogs were upset in week 5 by the Samurais. They managed to stay in the game even though they only managed to throw for 47 yards. In week 6, they held on in a nail biter to win by a FG with just 31 seconds left in the game. They had an even more abysmal 16 total yards passing. Perhaps they are simply running very RB heavy game plans. Perhaps the lack of WR depth behind their big 3 WRs is hurting them. I think it more the latter. They’ll need to get the passing game sorted out in a hurry or every time they fall behind, they might as well hang up the cleats.
Budapest Samurais
Record: 5-1
Last game: 41-3 W over Chaos
Rank - 4
Previous Rank - 7
The Samurais have turned it up a notch. Against a very tough Devil Dog team, they didn’t shy away from their strong running game, running 45 times and controlling the rock for almost 38 minutes. They followed up with a blowout of the Chaos, holding them to 3.1ypc and 114 passing yards. After faltering on the first drive of the game, the Samurais powered through the Chaos for 4 consecutive drives of at least 8 plays ending in touchdowns, gaining 74, 77, 33 and 81 yards per drive. The team seems to have found a rhythm and is playing very well, earning a significant move up the board.
The Saratov Swift Sharks
Record: 4 – 2
Last game: 40-14 W over the Coffee Mugs
Rank - 5
Previous Rank - 3
The Swift Sharks are another team that seems to be completely abandoning the passing game, either by choice or by lack of ability. They posted 159 yards through the air against the monsters of the conference, the Spiders, but this was out of necessity, having fallen behind by 3 TDs in the first quarter. They followed up last week with a 46 yard aerial performance in a win against the Coffee Mugs, where they ground out 427 yards rushing. Jonny Swift was a beast, rushing for 283 of those yards and breaking 27 tackles along the way. The running game is clicking, but as was shown in week 5, that’s not enough against a tougher opponent.
Transylvania Impalers
Record: 4-2
Last game: 35-14 W over Black Dragons
Rank - 6
Previous Rank - 5
The Impalers were shocked by the Coffee Mugs in week 5, losing a game to a team I didn’t expect to win more than 1 or 2 all season. They righted the ship the following week, winning big over the Black Dragons, throwing 3 TDs and rushing for 6 ypc in the game. They were clicking early, punting only once in their first 8 possessions, and simply coasted the rest of the way to the victory, holding the Black Dragons to drives of 5 plays or less 5 out of the final 7 drives.
Mukachevo Cheetahs
Record: 3-3
Last game: 14-9 W over Tanners
Rank - 7
Previous Rank - 8
The Cheetahs played hard on defense against the Galaxy in week 5, limiting the run to 51 yards. The week 6 win against the Tanners was accomplished much differently, dominating the game clock with 38 minutes of possession, even though they were outgained 249 yards to 362 yards by the Tanners. They won by simply getting the plays when they needed the plays. After going scoreless the whole game, the Cheetahs put the ball in the endzone twice in the 4th quarter to pull out the win
The Wheatfield
Record: 4-2
Last game: 38-6 W over Wildcats
Rank - 8
Previous Rank - 12
The Wheatfield had two solid outings against 2 weak opponents. Regardless, victories of 32 points in each game help prove them a team that can compete for a playoff position. Week 5, the Wheatfield offensive line punished Texas with 99 pancakes from virtually every offensive lineman and FB. Offensively, they didn’t bother to pass, completing only 4 of 8, having gotten the job done cranking out 380 yards on the ground. Week 6, the Wheatfiled did it with defense, picking off 3 passes and forcing a fumble, while allowing just 180 total yards. The running game still rumbled for 293 yards. The Wheatfield vault past a lot of teams that have had a bad 2 weeks.
Kazan Black Dragons
Record: 3-3
Last game: 14-35 L to Impalers
Rank - 9
Previous Rank - 9
This team showed potential the first couple games of the season, but has fallen hard the last few games. Dropping a game to the Wildcats in game 5 was a big disappointment. Their offensive line pushed the Wildcats around, helping the running game to 4.7ypc, but nothing worked through the air, regardless of which of their two QBs was in the game, completing only 22% and 40%. 18 missed tackles ended any chance the Black Dragon offense had of getting back in the game. Week 6, the Black Dragons didn’t fare much better through the air. Their top 2 WRs got a huge workout, playing 81 plays each, likely wearing them down. Defensively, they continued the slide with 23 missed tackles. The team might need a few weeks of work on fundamentals to compete in games again.
Woburn Tanners
Record: 3-3
Last game: 9-14 L to Cheetahs
Rank - 10
Previous Rank - 11
The Tanners pull out a win against a tough Mafia Crew team in week 5. They were helped by 7 missed FGs by the Crew, which allowed them to start 5 drives in opponent territory. Conversely, week 6, the special teams unit made it tough for the Tanners to stay in the game against the Cheetahs. Every drive in the game started in their own territory and all but 1 started on their own 38 or worse. In a game where it’s not odd to see teams starting drives at midfield or better regularly, this was a big disadvantage, as evidenced by the Tanners putting together drives of 8, 8, 13, 9, 4, and 7 that ended up with no points.
Dallas Galaxy
Record: 2-4
Last game: 20-24 L to Devil Dogs
Rank - 11
Previous Rank - 6
The Galaxy continue their tough slide, dropping 4 of 5 since starting with a win, including losing their last 2 games. The defense can’t seem to get off the field. The Cheetahs sustained drives of 9 plays or more 6 of 9 drives in the game, controlling the ball over 35 minutes. The following game, they allowed another 5 out of 7 drives to last 10 plays or more. The offense is sustaining long drives of their own and the defense is bending, not breaking, but the Galaxy aren’t able to score enough to compensate for the defense. Week 6, the Devil Dogs took the ball with 3 minutes left and drove 12 plays, scoring the game winning FG with just 31 seconds left.
Fayette Mafia Crew
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-16 L to Galaxy
Rank - 12
Previous Rank - 10
The Mafia Crew drop their 5th straight game of the season. I never like to pin a loss on just 1 player, but it’s damn near impossible for anyone to say the loss to the Tanners wasn’t the fault of kicker Morton Cannontoe. The Crew managed to get in FG range 8 times, but Cannontoe converted only 1 of those into points. Yes, that was not a typo. 1 out of 8 FGs made in the game. In his defense, 6 of 7 misses were from 50+ yards. Perhaps the blame should be laid on the game planners, who possibly set tactics to attempt FGs when they had no business attempting FGs. The improved field position they might have gained could have made the difference in a game the Crew actually led until the 4th quarter. Week 6, they drop a game to the Spiders, but with the dominance the Spiders are exhibiting, it is almost a given when any team plays them.
London Wildcats
Record: 1-3
Last game: 6-38 L to Wheatfield
Rank - 13
Previous Rank - 14
The Wildcats take an improbably win against the Black Dragons. The WRs were catching everything in site from Johnny Pocket Rocket, with 88% completion, but the passing game faltered when Paul Elway got in the game. They didn’t need either to perform, however, with 307 yards on the ground on the Black Dragons. They should enjoy the win, because they followed it up with a Jekyll and Hyde turnaround the following game, putting up a total of only 180 yards.
Texas Longnecks
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-55 L to Pirates
Rank - 14
Previous Rank - 13
If the Longnecks could just hold teams to under 14 points, they might go undefeated! They’ve scored 14 to 17 points in 4 of their losses. After starting the game going 6 for 6 in passing 1st quarter, the wheels fell off the rest of the way, completing only 11 more passes the whole game. Week 6, the Longnecks were pretty simply outmanned by the Pirates. They had fallen down to a 41 point deficit before scoring, which likely was due to the Pirates easing up a bit to avoid too much of a blowout.
Budapest Coffee Mugs
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-40 L to Swift Sharks
Rank - 15
Previous Rank - 15
The Coffee Mugs ran the opening kickoff back for a Touchdown against the Impalers and held on to post what will likely be one of the biggest upsets of the season. But they had to eventually come from behind to do so, scoring the go ahead TD with 3:38 left in the game. Week 6, they drove the opening kickoff down the field for a early TD lead against the Impalers, but alas, the magic could not be repeated and they returned to form, allowing 33 unanswered points before visiting the end zone again with a scrub time TD. It’s hard to pinpoint any one facet of their game that made the difference between what seems like two completely different teams because the numbers are almost identically, putting up 304 total yards against the Impalers and 318 against the Swift Sharks. Regardless, they can relish their first win of the season.
Bratislava Chaos
Record: 0-6
Last game: 21-45 L to Devil Dogs
Rank - 16
Previous Rank - 16
The optimist in me points out that the Chaos did indeed manage to post 24 points, making 2 games in a row scoring over 20 points. Reality tells me both those games were essentially over when the Chaos scored. Against the Samurais, they did find a little success running the ball in the 2nd half, but it was far from enough, having to punt 9 times and faltering on 2 4th down conversion attempts in the game. The rebuilding continues.
ZETA CONFERENCE
Wroclaw Wolverines
Record: 6-0
Last game: 28-13 W over Crush
Rank - 1
Previous Rank - 1
After a close victory, the Wolverines return to dominating form, putting up 2 big wins. Game 5 was a blowout as it should be against one of the worst teams in the league. This game might have been 100-3 had it not been for the “softening” put in place for blowouts. The Wolverines rolled for well over 300 yards in each passing and rushing, scoring 42 before the half, and held the Mavericks to just 7 first downs on 15 possessions. Week 6, they started strong once again, putting up a 21-3 lead in the first half against a team that I feel has strong starters but lacks depth. The Wolverines played well against those starters and seem poised to continue playing at a high level all season.
Chernobyl Nuclear Assault
Record: 6-0
Last game: 62-7 W over Highrollers
Rank - 2
Previous Rank - 2
The Nuclear Assault gave the ball to every player back on the team, and got TDs and a combined 24 broken tackles out of 4 of them. They didn’t dominate the game as I might have expected, but a solid victory nonetheless. Week 6 went a lot better, with the Assault rolling lucky 7s against the Highrollers scoring on every possession except 2. Though the game was already over, the Assault finished out the game with an impressive 16 play, 88 drive for a TD consuming 8:42. Dominating performance.
Kosovo Kryptonite
Record: 5-1
Last game: 63-6 W over Cowboys
Rank - 3
Previous Rank - 3
The week 5 match with Crush was a back and forth affair, with 4 lead changes and a tie before the Kryptonite secured the win. Kosovo rolled to 5.7ypc to secure the victory, and improved on that performance week 6 against the Cowboys, averaging 7.5ypc rushing. The HB duo, Ballin It Up and Runnen Thruya were unstoppable, posting 33 broken tackles and 7 TDs. The passing game wasn’t needed, but completed an excellent 76% and a TD anyway. Defensively, a sack, 4 hurries and 3 tackles for loss slowed down what little offense the Cowboys tried to muster. This team is looking solid.
Terlingua Javelinas
Record: 5-1
Last game: 31-24 W over Sentinals
Rank - 4
Previous Rank - 4
The Javelinas had to make a huge comeback to pull out the win against the Colossus, scoring 2 huge TDs in the 4th, the 2nd with just 13 seconds left in the game. They did it with drives of 13 plays and 11 plays for 71 and 86 yards. Week 6, the Javs kept the ball rolling with yet another 4th quarter win, putting up a TD with less then 3 minutes left. Coming in late for wins makes for a scary team, one that is never out of a game. The big concern, however, is the Javs allowing 24 points from the Sentinals and 357 yards. The defense missed 20 tackles. This could bite them if not remedied.
Rome Colossus
Record: 4-2
Last game: 51-0 W over Romans
Rank - 5
Previous Rank - 5
The Colossus dominated the clock against the Javelinas, but let the win slip through their fingers, losing in the final seconds. The defense seemed to simply wear out, allowing 2 huge drives for TDs to end the game. Week 6, everything clicked, getting a shut out 51 to zip on the Romans in the battle of the Italians. Allowing only 134 total yards in a big blowout is a huge accomplishment on any team, since usually scrub time allows for some yardage from the loser.
Ukrainian Warheads
Record: 5-1
Last game: 28-10 W over Vampires
Rank - 6
Previous Rank - 7
Big blowout win over the Romans in week 5 and a strong showing against the Vamps vault the Warheads to 5-1 on the season. Domination in a running game doesn’t come much bigger than against the Romans. The Warheads put up 467 yards averaging 8.3 per carry. The Warheads dropped a few balls in both games, 5 in week 5 and 8 in week 6, but played pretty solid in both affairs.
Kiev Cossacks
Record: 4-2
Last game: 45-0 W over HUC
Rank - 7
Previous Rank - 6
Week 5, the Cossacks played tough early, but mistakes killed them on both sides of the ball. The receivers dropped 9 balls, QB Dandy Marino threw a key INT when the Cossacks had a chance to get the game tied, and 15 different players missed 24 total tackles. The Assault are simply an elite team, so no shame in the loss. The game against HUC gave the Cossacks back some inspiration. Everything was working on offense. The Cossacks ran 93 plays on 18 drives and scored 45 points. Both QBs threw INTs or the game might have been even bigger blowout. Bruiser McDozer lived up to his name, rushing for 134 yards on 13 carries with 20 broken tackles.
Bucharest Vampires
Record: 3-3
Last game: 10-28 L to Warheads
Rank - 8
Previous Ranking - 10
The Vampires have a win one, lose one mentality, alternating wins and losses all season. They took it to the Highrollers in week 5, but the rollers have proven lately they are one of the bottom teams in the league. The Vamps scored a lot and regularly, punting only twice in the game. In week 6, they alternated to a loss, scoring only 10 points against the Warheads.
Columbus Crush
Record: 2-4
Last game: 13-28 L to Wolverines
Rank - 9
Previous Rank - 8
The Crush coulda been a contenda… Whether more a product of poor depth or poor game planning, or some combo of both, the Crush simply aren’t playing good enough ball to compete with a lot of the league. They managed to pick up yards and score 28 on the Kryptonite, but the defense failed them, allowing 44 points. Against the Wolverines, it was the offense that failed them, putting up only 13 while throwing 2 INTs.
Las Vegas Highrollers
Record: 2-4
Last game: 7-62 L to Nuclear Assault
Rank - 10
Previous Rank - 9
The Highrollers crapped out in both their matchups in week 5 and 6, losing by a combined 17 to 121. Not a good showing, regardless of opponent. The rollers had a ton of trouble running the football, falling to a 1.6ypc average in week 6. Against the Assault, the rollers only managed a total of 87 yards in the first 3 quarters.
Nysa Sentinals
Record: 2-4
Last game: 24-31 L to Javelinas
Rank - 11
Previous Rank - 11
The Sentinals managed to beat the lowly Dragons in a shootout in week 5, but dropped the game to the Javs in week 6 in exciting fashion. The Javs tied up the game in the last 30 seconds, then rolled on to win with a TD with 3 minutes left. A heartbreaker for a team having a tough time winning games this season. They did show some flashes of quality, with their two QBs throwing for 73% and 70% completion, but the running game had a tough time.
Caspian Sea Dragons
Record: 1-5
Last game: 20-14 W over Mavericks
Rank - 12
Previous Rank - 16
The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant! The Dragons put up a standard loss against the Mavs, though they did manage 30 points. Then week 6, they played admirably and actually won the game, shutting down the Minsk to only 211 yards and running for 6.8ypc. Good showing by a team still building and growing. They are showing some strength and glimmers, enough to move them considerably past teams struggling.
The D-League Home For Underprivileged Children
Record: 1-5
Last game: 0-45 L to Cossacks
Rank - 13
Previous Rank - 12
The scary clown perhaps is scaring away any quality play from the HUC. One of their best chances to win ends in a 21 point loss anyway, letting the hapless Cowboys put up 42 points and hold the ball over 40 minutes. Week 6 was no better, getting shut out by the Cossacks. They managed just 212 yards and allowed almost 3 times that total.
Minsk Mavericks
Record: 0-6
Last game: 14-20 L to Dragons
Rank - 14
Previous Rank - 13
The Mavericks get blown out by the Wolverines. An expected outcome against an elite team. The Mavs allowed almost 700 yards, a huge total these days and in this league. But perhaps the biggest upset and disappointment of the season for them was the loss to the Dragons in week 6. This actually plays to my belief that a human player is better than a CPU player any day of the week.
Constantinople Romans
Record: 1-5
Last game: 0-51 L to Colossus
Rank - 15
Previous Rank - 14
The Romans look awful. Though they have played some pretty decent teams, they have managed only 7 points in their last 3 outtings. 5 hurries, 3 sacks and an INT from QB Sexxy Rexxy with 31% completion is disastrous for having any type of passing game.
Week 6 wasn’t much better. 37% and 20% completion won’t get the job done.
Washington Cowboys
Record: 0-6
Last game: 6-63 L to Kryptonite
Rank - 16
Previous Rank - 15
The Cowboys managed a win in the battle of the bottoms. The Cowboys at least are putting up a few points in games. Against the Kryptonite, the Cowboys were dominated on both sides, allowing a TD on every drive but one and on offense, only managed 2 drives that were more than 7 plays.
Sofia Spiders
Record: 6-0
Last game: 41-14 W over Mafia Crew
Rank - 1
Previous Rank - 1
The Spiders have no longer opened a gap between themselves and the rest of the Conference, it’s now a chasm. Week 5 they disposed of the previous #3 team in the Conference in convincing fashion, shutting down a running attack that has been working all season for the Swift Sharks. Running straight up the middle and out to the flats worked wonderfully for the Spiders, posting 273 yards on 27 attempts. They avoided a week 6 slump by arresting the Mafia Crew, allowing just 15 yards on the ground. This team gets the job done on both sides of the ball.
Black Sea Pirates
Record: 5-1
Last game: 55-14 W over Longnecks
Rank - 2
Previous Rank - 5
It was a fairly uneventful couple weeks for the Pirates. They posted two solid wins, but both against bottom tier opponents. But they’re doing what good teams do, blow out bad teams. They continue to utilize a balanced two QB approach between Johnny Yew and Drew Weatherford. The last two weeks, though Weatherford has not played badly, Yew has played considerably better. Week 6 he threw 6 completions, 4 of them for TDs. He’s put up 24 of 37 for 392 yards and 7 TDs while Weatherford has posted 17 of 36 for 185 yards and 3 TDs. Granted, neither stat line is terrible, but if there is a QB competition, Yew is solidly in the lead. Defensively, DE Howard Marx has been all over the QBs, making 5 sacks in the last 2 weeks. All in all, the Pirates are playing at an elite level right now, earning a big move up the rankings.
Berlin Devil Dogs
Record: 4-2
Last game: 23-20 W over Galaxy
Rank - 3
Previous Rank – 2
The Devil Dogs were upset in week 5 by the Samurais. They managed to stay in the game even though they only managed to throw for 47 yards. In week 6, they held on in a nail biter to win by a FG with just 31 seconds left in the game. They had an even more abysmal 16 total yards passing. Perhaps they are simply running very RB heavy game plans. Perhaps the lack of WR depth behind their big 3 WRs is hurting them. I think it more the latter. They’ll need to get the passing game sorted out in a hurry or every time they fall behind, they might as well hang up the cleats.
Budapest Samurais
Record: 5-1
Last game: 41-3 W over Chaos
Rank - 4
Previous Rank - 7
The Samurais have turned it up a notch. Against a very tough Devil Dog team, they didn’t shy away from their strong running game, running 45 times and controlling the rock for almost 38 minutes. They followed up with a blowout of the Chaos, holding them to 3.1ypc and 114 passing yards. After faltering on the first drive of the game, the Samurais powered through the Chaos for 4 consecutive drives of at least 8 plays ending in touchdowns, gaining 74, 77, 33 and 81 yards per drive. The team seems to have found a rhythm and is playing very well, earning a significant move up the board.
The Saratov Swift Sharks
Record: 4 – 2
Last game: 40-14 W over the Coffee Mugs
Rank - 5
Previous Rank - 3
The Swift Sharks are another team that seems to be completely abandoning the passing game, either by choice or by lack of ability. They posted 159 yards through the air against the monsters of the conference, the Spiders, but this was out of necessity, having fallen behind by 3 TDs in the first quarter. They followed up last week with a 46 yard aerial performance in a win against the Coffee Mugs, where they ground out 427 yards rushing. Jonny Swift was a beast, rushing for 283 of those yards and breaking 27 tackles along the way. The running game is clicking, but as was shown in week 5, that’s not enough against a tougher opponent.
Transylvania Impalers
Record: 4-2
Last game: 35-14 W over Black Dragons
Rank - 6
Previous Rank - 5
The Impalers were shocked by the Coffee Mugs in week 5, losing a game to a team I didn’t expect to win more than 1 or 2 all season. They righted the ship the following week, winning big over the Black Dragons, throwing 3 TDs and rushing for 6 ypc in the game. They were clicking early, punting only once in their first 8 possessions, and simply coasted the rest of the way to the victory, holding the Black Dragons to drives of 5 plays or less 5 out of the final 7 drives.
Mukachevo Cheetahs
Record: 3-3
Last game: 14-9 W over Tanners
Rank - 7
Previous Rank - 8
The Cheetahs played hard on defense against the Galaxy in week 5, limiting the run to 51 yards. The week 6 win against the Tanners was accomplished much differently, dominating the game clock with 38 minutes of possession, even though they were outgained 249 yards to 362 yards by the Tanners. They won by simply getting the plays when they needed the plays. After going scoreless the whole game, the Cheetahs put the ball in the endzone twice in the 4th quarter to pull out the win
The Wheatfield
Record: 4-2
Last game: 38-6 W over Wildcats
Rank - 8
Previous Rank - 12
The Wheatfield had two solid outings against 2 weak opponents. Regardless, victories of 32 points in each game help prove them a team that can compete for a playoff position. Week 5, the Wheatfield offensive line punished Texas with 99 pancakes from virtually every offensive lineman and FB. Offensively, they didn’t bother to pass, completing only 4 of 8, having gotten the job done cranking out 380 yards on the ground. Week 6, the Wheatfiled did it with defense, picking off 3 passes and forcing a fumble, while allowing just 180 total yards. The running game still rumbled for 293 yards. The Wheatfield vault past a lot of teams that have had a bad 2 weeks.
Kazan Black Dragons
Record: 3-3
Last game: 14-35 L to Impalers
Rank - 9
Previous Rank - 9
This team showed potential the first couple games of the season, but has fallen hard the last few games. Dropping a game to the Wildcats in game 5 was a big disappointment. Their offensive line pushed the Wildcats around, helping the running game to 4.7ypc, but nothing worked through the air, regardless of which of their two QBs was in the game, completing only 22% and 40%. 18 missed tackles ended any chance the Black Dragon offense had of getting back in the game. Week 6, the Black Dragons didn’t fare much better through the air. Their top 2 WRs got a huge workout, playing 81 plays each, likely wearing them down. Defensively, they continued the slide with 23 missed tackles. The team might need a few weeks of work on fundamentals to compete in games again.
Woburn Tanners
Record: 3-3
Last game: 9-14 L to Cheetahs
Rank - 10
Previous Rank - 11
The Tanners pull out a win against a tough Mafia Crew team in week 5. They were helped by 7 missed FGs by the Crew, which allowed them to start 5 drives in opponent territory. Conversely, week 6, the special teams unit made it tough for the Tanners to stay in the game against the Cheetahs. Every drive in the game started in their own territory and all but 1 started on their own 38 or worse. In a game where it’s not odd to see teams starting drives at midfield or better regularly, this was a big disadvantage, as evidenced by the Tanners putting together drives of 8, 8, 13, 9, 4, and 7 that ended up with no points.
Dallas Galaxy
Record: 2-4
Last game: 20-24 L to Devil Dogs
Rank - 11
Previous Rank - 6
The Galaxy continue their tough slide, dropping 4 of 5 since starting with a win, including losing their last 2 games. The defense can’t seem to get off the field. The Cheetahs sustained drives of 9 plays or more 6 of 9 drives in the game, controlling the ball over 35 minutes. The following game, they allowed another 5 out of 7 drives to last 10 plays or more. The offense is sustaining long drives of their own and the defense is bending, not breaking, but the Galaxy aren’t able to score enough to compensate for the defense. Week 6, the Devil Dogs took the ball with 3 minutes left and drove 12 plays, scoring the game winning FG with just 31 seconds left.
Fayette Mafia Crew
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-16 L to Galaxy
Rank - 12
Previous Rank - 10
The Mafia Crew drop their 5th straight game of the season. I never like to pin a loss on just 1 player, but it’s damn near impossible for anyone to say the loss to the Tanners wasn’t the fault of kicker Morton Cannontoe. The Crew managed to get in FG range 8 times, but Cannontoe converted only 1 of those into points. Yes, that was not a typo. 1 out of 8 FGs made in the game. In his defense, 6 of 7 misses were from 50+ yards. Perhaps the blame should be laid on the game planners, who possibly set tactics to attempt FGs when they had no business attempting FGs. The improved field position they might have gained could have made the difference in a game the Crew actually led until the 4th quarter. Week 6, they drop a game to the Spiders, but with the dominance the Spiders are exhibiting, it is almost a given when any team plays them.
London Wildcats
Record: 1-3
Last game: 6-38 L to Wheatfield
Rank - 13
Previous Rank - 14
The Wildcats take an improbably win against the Black Dragons. The WRs were catching everything in site from Johnny Pocket Rocket, with 88% completion, but the passing game faltered when Paul Elway got in the game. They didn’t need either to perform, however, with 307 yards on the ground on the Black Dragons. They should enjoy the win, because they followed it up with a Jekyll and Hyde turnaround the following game, putting up a total of only 180 yards.
Texas Longnecks
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-55 L to Pirates
Rank - 14
Previous Rank - 13
If the Longnecks could just hold teams to under 14 points, they might go undefeated! They’ve scored 14 to 17 points in 4 of their losses. After starting the game going 6 for 6 in passing 1st quarter, the wheels fell off the rest of the way, completing only 11 more passes the whole game. Week 6, the Longnecks were pretty simply outmanned by the Pirates. They had fallen down to a 41 point deficit before scoring, which likely was due to the Pirates easing up a bit to avoid too much of a blowout.
Budapest Coffee Mugs
Record: 1-5
Last game: 14-40 L to Swift Sharks
Rank - 15
Previous Rank - 15
The Coffee Mugs ran the opening kickoff back for a Touchdown against the Impalers and held on to post what will likely be one of the biggest upsets of the season. But they had to eventually come from behind to do so, scoring the go ahead TD with 3:38 left in the game. Week 6, they drove the opening kickoff down the field for a early TD lead against the Impalers, but alas, the magic could not be repeated and they returned to form, allowing 33 unanswered points before visiting the end zone again with a scrub time TD. It’s hard to pinpoint any one facet of their game that made the difference between what seems like two completely different teams because the numbers are almost identically, putting up 304 total yards against the Impalers and 318 against the Swift Sharks. Regardless, they can relish their first win of the season.
Bratislava Chaos
Record: 0-6
Last game: 21-45 L to Devil Dogs
Rank - 16
Previous Rank - 16
The optimist in me points out that the Chaos did indeed manage to post 24 points, making 2 games in a row scoring over 20 points. Reality tells me both those games were essentially over when the Chaos scored. Against the Samurais, they did find a little success running the ball in the 2nd half, but it was far from enough, having to punt 9 times and faltering on 2 4th down conversion attempts in the game. The rebuilding continues.
ZETA CONFERENCE
Wroclaw Wolverines
Record: 6-0
Last game: 28-13 W over Crush
Rank - 1
Previous Rank - 1
After a close victory, the Wolverines return to dominating form, putting up 2 big wins. Game 5 was a blowout as it should be against one of the worst teams in the league. This game might have been 100-3 had it not been for the “softening” put in place for blowouts. The Wolverines rolled for well over 300 yards in each passing and rushing, scoring 42 before the half, and held the Mavericks to just 7 first downs on 15 possessions. Week 6, they started strong once again, putting up a 21-3 lead in the first half against a team that I feel has strong starters but lacks depth. The Wolverines played well against those starters and seem poised to continue playing at a high level all season.
Chernobyl Nuclear Assault
Record: 6-0
Last game: 62-7 W over Highrollers
Rank - 2
Previous Rank - 2
The Nuclear Assault gave the ball to every player back on the team, and got TDs and a combined 24 broken tackles out of 4 of them. They didn’t dominate the game as I might have expected, but a solid victory nonetheless. Week 6 went a lot better, with the Assault rolling lucky 7s against the Highrollers scoring on every possession except 2. Though the game was already over, the Assault finished out the game with an impressive 16 play, 88 drive for a TD consuming 8:42. Dominating performance.
Kosovo Kryptonite
Record: 5-1
Last game: 63-6 W over Cowboys
Rank - 3
Previous Rank - 3
The week 5 match with Crush was a back and forth affair, with 4 lead changes and a tie before the Kryptonite secured the win. Kosovo rolled to 5.7ypc to secure the victory, and improved on that performance week 6 against the Cowboys, averaging 7.5ypc rushing. The HB duo, Ballin It Up and Runnen Thruya were unstoppable, posting 33 broken tackles and 7 TDs. The passing game wasn’t needed, but completed an excellent 76% and a TD anyway. Defensively, a sack, 4 hurries and 3 tackles for loss slowed down what little offense the Cowboys tried to muster. This team is looking solid.
Terlingua Javelinas
Record: 5-1
Last game: 31-24 W over Sentinals
Rank - 4
Previous Rank - 4
The Javelinas had to make a huge comeback to pull out the win against the Colossus, scoring 2 huge TDs in the 4th, the 2nd with just 13 seconds left in the game. They did it with drives of 13 plays and 11 plays for 71 and 86 yards. Week 6, the Javs kept the ball rolling with yet another 4th quarter win, putting up a TD with less then 3 minutes left. Coming in late for wins makes for a scary team, one that is never out of a game. The big concern, however, is the Javs allowing 24 points from the Sentinals and 357 yards. The defense missed 20 tackles. This could bite them if not remedied.
Rome Colossus
Record: 4-2
Last game: 51-0 W over Romans
Rank - 5
Previous Rank - 5
The Colossus dominated the clock against the Javelinas, but let the win slip through their fingers, losing in the final seconds. The defense seemed to simply wear out, allowing 2 huge drives for TDs to end the game. Week 6, everything clicked, getting a shut out 51 to zip on the Romans in the battle of the Italians. Allowing only 134 total yards in a big blowout is a huge accomplishment on any team, since usually scrub time allows for some yardage from the loser.
Ukrainian Warheads
Record: 5-1
Last game: 28-10 W over Vampires
Rank - 6
Previous Rank - 7
Big blowout win over the Romans in week 5 and a strong showing against the Vamps vault the Warheads to 5-1 on the season. Domination in a running game doesn’t come much bigger than against the Romans. The Warheads put up 467 yards averaging 8.3 per carry. The Warheads dropped a few balls in both games, 5 in week 5 and 8 in week 6, but played pretty solid in both affairs.
Kiev Cossacks
Record: 4-2
Last game: 45-0 W over HUC
Rank - 7
Previous Rank - 6
Week 5, the Cossacks played tough early, but mistakes killed them on both sides of the ball. The receivers dropped 9 balls, QB Dandy Marino threw a key INT when the Cossacks had a chance to get the game tied, and 15 different players missed 24 total tackles. The Assault are simply an elite team, so no shame in the loss. The game against HUC gave the Cossacks back some inspiration. Everything was working on offense. The Cossacks ran 93 plays on 18 drives and scored 45 points. Both QBs threw INTs or the game might have been even bigger blowout. Bruiser McDozer lived up to his name, rushing for 134 yards on 13 carries with 20 broken tackles.
Bucharest Vampires
Record: 3-3
Last game: 10-28 L to Warheads
Rank - 8
Previous Ranking - 10
The Vampires have a win one, lose one mentality, alternating wins and losses all season. They took it to the Highrollers in week 5, but the rollers have proven lately they are one of the bottom teams in the league. The Vamps scored a lot and regularly, punting only twice in the game. In week 6, they alternated to a loss, scoring only 10 points against the Warheads.
Columbus Crush
Record: 2-4
Last game: 13-28 L to Wolverines
Rank - 9
Previous Rank - 8
The Crush coulda been a contenda… Whether more a product of poor depth or poor game planning, or some combo of both, the Crush simply aren’t playing good enough ball to compete with a lot of the league. They managed to pick up yards and score 28 on the Kryptonite, but the defense failed them, allowing 44 points. Against the Wolverines, it was the offense that failed them, putting up only 13 while throwing 2 INTs.
Las Vegas Highrollers
Record: 2-4
Last game: 7-62 L to Nuclear Assault
Rank - 10
Previous Rank - 9
The Highrollers crapped out in both their matchups in week 5 and 6, losing by a combined 17 to 121. Not a good showing, regardless of opponent. The rollers had a ton of trouble running the football, falling to a 1.6ypc average in week 6. Against the Assault, the rollers only managed a total of 87 yards in the first 3 quarters.
Nysa Sentinals
Record: 2-4
Last game: 24-31 L to Javelinas
Rank - 11
Previous Rank - 11
The Sentinals managed to beat the lowly Dragons in a shootout in week 5, but dropped the game to the Javs in week 6 in exciting fashion. The Javs tied up the game in the last 30 seconds, then rolled on to win with a TD with 3 minutes left. A heartbreaker for a team having a tough time winning games this season. They did show some flashes of quality, with their two QBs throwing for 73% and 70% completion, but the running game had a tough time.
Caspian Sea Dragons
Record: 1-5
Last game: 20-14 W over Mavericks
Rank - 12
Previous Rank - 16
The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant! The Dragons put up a standard loss against the Mavs, though they did manage 30 points. Then week 6, they played admirably and actually won the game, shutting down the Minsk to only 211 yards and running for 6.8ypc. Good showing by a team still building and growing. They are showing some strength and glimmers, enough to move them considerably past teams struggling.
The D-League Home For Underprivileged Children
Record: 1-5
Last game: 0-45 L to Cossacks
Rank - 13
Previous Rank - 12
The scary clown perhaps is scaring away any quality play from the HUC. One of their best chances to win ends in a 21 point loss anyway, letting the hapless Cowboys put up 42 points and hold the ball over 40 minutes. Week 6 was no better, getting shut out by the Cossacks. They managed just 212 yards and allowed almost 3 times that total.
Minsk Mavericks
Record: 0-6
Last game: 14-20 L to Dragons
Rank - 14
Previous Rank - 13
The Mavericks get blown out by the Wolverines. An expected outcome against an elite team. The Mavs allowed almost 700 yards, a huge total these days and in this league. But perhaps the biggest upset and disappointment of the season for them was the loss to the Dragons in week 6. This actually plays to my belief that a human player is better than a CPU player any day of the week.
Constantinople Romans
Record: 1-5
Last game: 0-51 L to Colossus
Rank - 15
Previous Rank - 14
The Romans look awful. Though they have played some pretty decent teams, they have managed only 7 points in their last 3 outtings. 5 hurries, 3 sacks and an INT from QB Sexxy Rexxy with 31% completion is disastrous for having any type of passing game.
Week 6 wasn’t much better. 37% and 20% completion won’t get the job done.
Washington Cowboys
Record: 0-6
Last game: 6-63 L to Kryptonite
Rank - 16
Previous Rank - 15
The Cowboys managed a win in the battle of the bottoms. The Cowboys at least are putting up a few points in games. Against the Kryptonite, the Cowboys were dominated on both sides, allowing a TD on every drive but one and on offense, only managed 2 drives that were more than 7 plays.
