Reporter yelling into microphone: THANKS AMANDA, THERE IS TOTAL MAYHEM THIS EVENING IN MARAWK!!O. THE PEOPLE HERE ARE GOING WILD! I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE THIS MANY COUCHES IN MARAWK!!O!!! AND I THINK EVERY ONE OF THEM IS ON FIRE. IT LOOKS LIKE OWNER BILLSAIDSUX IS APPROACHING THE MICROPHONE!!!!
<BillSaidSux approaches microphone coughing due to burning couch smoke.>
"OK Folks, lets bring this down a little so I can get this over with and get back to celebrating with the team, Chriscuster and D3's lady friends. We have Alter Bridge playing in the locker room later and that is going to everloving rawk!!! First Question."
Reporter #1: You guys have never won a game before, can you tell me what it means?
BillSaidSux: Well it means a lot of things. Tonight, it means you had better hope the bars have extra liquor on hand and it means the goats better watch their back. You should expect some shenanigans if you know what I mean. However, more importantly it is the start of something. At the very least it is the start of us charging more for tickets! Next question
Reporter #2: Do you think all these fake press conference posts are self-indulgent?
BillSaidSux: Hell Yea! And we earned it. Next question.
Reporter #A: One of your backs fumbled three times are you worried about that?
BillSaidSux: You mean the guy with 130 yards and 2 TD's? I'm worried he would have gone for 160 if he hadn't dropped the ball! What is it with you guys having to focus on the negative all the time! Suck it! Next question.
Reporter #3: Are you aware of the record for the longest post involving a fake press conference?
BillSaidSux: Not at all, this is my first one, I've been issuing press releases because I couldn't get you guys to show up to these until we gave our fans a reason to break shop windows and turn over some police cars. Next Question.
Reporter B2: What is the best part about winning?
BillSaidSux: Easy, you know that part that said "L22" next to our name? It aint there any more. Alright I have to go. The riot police they called down are planning on meeting me and some of the guys in a minute for $14 microbrew. Peace out. Fear MaRAWK!!o.
<Huge noise made by local shopping district building collapsing followed by rawkous cheering>
WELL THERE YOU HEAR IT. LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS AND GET OUT HERE FOLKS! WE ARE BURNING DOWN THE CITY CENTER! BACK TO YOU AMANDA.
<BillSaidSux approaches microphone coughing due to burning couch smoke.>
"OK Folks, lets bring this down a little so I can get this over with and get back to celebrating with the team, Chriscuster and D3's lady friends. We have Alter Bridge playing in the locker room later and that is going to everloving rawk!!! First Question."
Reporter #1: You guys have never won a game before, can you tell me what it means?
BillSaidSux: Well it means a lot of things. Tonight, it means you had better hope the bars have extra liquor on hand and it means the goats better watch their back. You should expect some shenanigans if you know what I mean. However, more importantly it is the start of something. At the very least it is the start of us charging more for tickets! Next question
Reporter #2: Do you think all these fake press conference posts are self-indulgent?
BillSaidSux: Hell Yea! And we earned it. Next question.
Reporter #A: One of your backs fumbled three times are you worried about that?
BillSaidSux: You mean the guy with 130 yards and 2 TD's? I'm worried he would have gone for 160 if he hadn't dropped the ball! What is it with you guys having to focus on the negative all the time! Suck it! Next question.
Reporter #3: Are you aware of the record for the longest post involving a fake press conference?
BillSaidSux: Not at all, this is my first one, I've been issuing press releases because I couldn't get you guys to show up to these until we gave our fans a reason to break shop windows and turn over some police cars. Next Question.
Reporter B2: What is the best part about winning?
BillSaidSux: Easy, you know that part that said "L22" next to our name? It aint there any more. Alright I have to go. The riot police they called down are planning on meeting me and some of the guys in a minute for $14 microbrew. Peace out. Fear MaRAWK!!o.
<Huge noise made by local shopping district building collapsing followed by rawkous cheering>
WELL THERE YOU HEAR IT. LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS AND GET OUT HERE FOLKS! WE ARE BURNING DOWN THE CITY CENTER! BACK TO YOU AMANDA.






























