The Capital Times
Volume 2, Issue 4
Oooh, ma, oooh, pa
Where’s the feeling gone?
Oooh, ma, oooh, pa
Will I remember the songs?
Oooh ah…
The show must go on…
The Show Must Go On
Thank you for purchasing your copy of The Capital Times – written by your faithful correspondent, unanimously voted by our journalism school alumni as ‘Most likely to live in his very own car or van’!
After what seemed an Ice Age of an off season, it seems almost inconceivable that we’ve already reached the halfway point of the season, but here we are. Without further adieu, let’s get into our mid-season updates…
Pro League 1 – Alpha Conference
Parity would seem to be the order of the day in Pro 1 Alpha, with 4 teams locked up at 4-and-4 each, after the first half of the season concluded.
1 (2) - C-Town MF’n Hood – 5-3
C-Town entered Week 5 with an equal record to the Mustangs, at 3-and-1. Unlike High Plains who would stumble against the Frenzy, the MF’ers trounced their Week 5 opponents the Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps by a lopsided score of 62-34. A much closer game would follow in Week 6 as the Hood hosted the Athens Empire. The MF’ers would hold on to win this one by a tight 29-27 margin. They’d be less fortunate in Week 7, when C-Town traveled to Alamo City to play the Spurs. The MF’ers held the lead until late in the game but lost the game on the basis of a late Spurs touchdown, 35-38. In Week 8, the MF’ers traveled to MACHINE STADIUM where they’d lose another close one, this time 19-24, finishing the first half of their season at 5-and-3, good enough to move them to the top of the Alpha standings.
Coverage is a strength for the Mothers, who lead the league with 92 pass deflections.
MF’n Flamethrower has 2,545 passing yards through eight games, while power back MF’n Hood MF’er has rushed for 357.
2 (4) - SWAT Team – 4-4
With a split 2-2 record, SWAT entered the second quarter of their season in fourth place in the Alpha Conference. They came out strong in Week 5 though, coming from behind in their match against the Nebraska Blackshirts and holding on to win by a narrow margin of 17-20. Week 6 would be another victory as the SWAT defeated the visiting Spurs 34-17. SWAT visited the Athens Empire in Week 7, where they would lose by a score of 21-38. Another loss would follow in Week 8, this time to the Asau Golden Eagles, in a game they’d lose in the dying seconds following a field goal that put the Eagles over the top. After 8 weeks, SWAT would have a split 4-and-4 record, good enough to move them up two spots into second place in the Alpha Conference.
QB Dan Pastorini has thrown for 1,876 yards while HB Emmitt Smith has rushed for 544. Cornerback George Van Slyke leads SWAT with 37 tackles and 10 passes deflected.
3 (5) - Florida Frenzy – 4-4
After splitting their first 4 games of the season, Florida came out swinging in Week 5, defeating the High Plains Mustangs 24-13. Week 6 would see the Frenzy drop their third game however, as the visiting WAR MACHINE held on to defeat the Frenzy in a close contest 37-42. It would be RC vs RC in Week 7, with the Frenzy traveling to Asau to face the Golden Eagles. The Frenzy would dominate this game, beating the Eagles by a comfortable margin, 63-28. Week 8 versus the Cherokee Nation would prove to be a tougher outing for the Frenzy however. Florida would drop this game to the visiting Nation by a score of 14-31. Nevertheless, their 4-and-4 record after 8 weeks would bump Florida up two spots in the Alpha standings, leaving them in 3rd.
The Florida pass rush is in a 3-way tie for first in the league, with 37 hurries so far, but they’re alone in first for the number of sacks they’ve registered, with 14 after 8 games.
QB Ken Anderson has thrown for 2,902 yards while HB Marcus Allen has rushed for 403. Defensive tackle John McDonald leads the Frenzy with 42 tackles while coverage linebacker Alonzo Jewell has 6 interceptions.
4 (1) - High Plains Mustangs – 4-4
The Mustangs entered the 2nd quarter of the season atop the Alpha Conference with a glittering 3-and-1 record, and showed every sign of carrying that momentum through its next 4 games. They ran into a buzz saw in Week 5 however, traveling to Florida where the Frenzy would drop them 24-13. Another loss would follow in Week 6 as they hosted Cherokee Nation, a game they would lose 20-27 following a late Cherokee touchdown. The 2-game slide came to an end in Week 7 however, with a 38-9 victory over the Odessa Mojo. But Week 8 would see the Mustangs lose to the Athens Empire 7-20, leaving them at 4-and-4 and dropping them from 1st to 4th in their conference standings.
The Mustangs have given up the fewest passing yards to this point in the season, having surrendered just 1,461 yards through the air. Their rushing attack, meanwhile, is also tops. They’ve rushed for 1,578 yards, the most for Pro 1. If the Mustangs have an Achilles’ Heel, it could be their pass blocking. The team leads the league in sacks given up, with General Hunter Gathers having been ground into the dirt 19 times (so far).
Gathers has passed for 1,617 yards while HB PEGASAS has rushed for 1,022. Run-stuffer George Wellman leads the Mustangs with 41 tackles.
5 (3) - Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps – 4-4
With a 2-and-2 record following Week 4, the Wasps found themselves in 3rd place in the Alpha Conference. Their Week 5 opponent was a stacked C-Town squad who dealt them a resounding blow to start the second quarter of their season, swatting the Wasps 62-34. Still smarting from their lopsided defeat the previous week, the Wasps hosted the Asau Golden Eagles at Wasp Stadium in Week 6, and bounced back with a decisive 43-13 victory. The Wasps traveled to WAR MACHINE the following week where they’d lose a 10-48 decision. It would be back to the win column in Week 8 however, with the Wasps hosting the Odessa Mojo, who they’d beat by a convincing 30-7 margin. Their split record of 4-and-4 after 8 weeks would drop the Wasps from 3rd to 5th in the Alpha Conference standings.
The Wasps have struggled through the air, passing for just 1,392 yards – the fewest in Pro 1. They also have the fewest pass attempts however, with just 224. And their completion percentage of 62.9 per cent puts them in the middle of the pack on that metric. Perhaps of greater concern is the number of missed tackles they’re registering. With 126, they’re second in the league on that metric. They do have a good pass rush however, and are tied for 1st in the league with 37 hurries.
QB Dick Shiner has thrown for 1,392 yards, while HB John Henry Johnson has rushed for 681. Linebacker Jack Handsbert continues to lead the Wasps with 43 tackles. CB Cote de Pablo leads Pro League 1 with 10 interceptions so far.
6 (6) - Nebraska Blackshirts – 1-7
The Blackshirts entered the 2nd quarter of the season at the bottom of the Alpha Conference, winless following their first 4 games. They had hoped to stop the slide in Week 5, but unfortunately for the squad from Nebraska, they’d drop a close one against the SWAT Team, losing 17-20. Another loss would follow in Week 6, this one more decisive, with the Blackshirts hosting the Odessa Mojo who would win that game by a commanding 44-3. The slide would finally come to and end in Week 7 however, as the Blackshirts held on to defeat their hosts, Cherokee Nation at Hawks Stadium by a slim margin, 24-21. Alas, it would be back to the loss column the following Week, when Nebraska gave up a 4th quarter lead to lose 27-31 to the Alamo City Spurs. Their 1-and-7 record after 8 weeks leaves them at the bottom of the Alpha standings.
The Blackshirts have been picked off 29 times so far – first in the league on that metric, a dubious title they share with the Asau Golden Eagles.
Nebraska quarterback Dylan Raiola Rafiki has passed for 1,980 yards but has been picked off 29 times, while elusive HB Gabe Ervin Jr Rafiki has rushed for 289 yards.
Pro League 1 – Beta Conference
1 (3) - WAR MACHINE – 7-1
WAR MACHINE entered Week 5 in the middle of the pack, but came out guns-a-blazing to upset Cherokee Nation in a tightly contested match, winning 17-24. Week 6 would be another victory for the MACHINE as they traveled to Florida to deliver a 37-42 loss to the Frenzy. WAR MACHINE dismantled the visiting Sea Wasps in Week 7, defeating the Tyrrhenians 48-10. They’d wrap up the first half of their season with another win, this time against the C-Town MF’ers, following a late 4th quarter completion between Witherspoon and TE Wide Open: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45271&pbp_id=504536 . After 8 weeks, the MACHINE’s glittering 7-and-1 record would leave them atop a very competitive Beta Conference.
WAR runs a hard-hitting defense, leading the league in forced fumbles, with 9.
Strong Arm Witherspoon has passed for 1,979 yards while deep passing QB I’m Just Built Different leads the way on the ground with 675. CB Jaire Alexander leads the MACHINE with 36 tackles.
2 (2) - Alamo City Spurs – 6-2
Roaring into Week 5 was the Alamo City Spurs, who dismantled Athens, holding the Empire to a mere 10 passing yards en route to a 0-77 rout. Week 6 would not be as dominant for the Spurs, and indeed, they would drop that match 34-17 to the SWAT Team as the Spurs traveled to Gunslingers Stadium. Week 7 would prove to be a thriller as the Spurs hosted the visiting MF’ers from C-Town. The game would not be decided until late in the 4th, as Alamo City pivot Zeon Chriss connected with WR Detroit “Velvet” Smooth in the endzone to give Alamo the late lead: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45265&pbp_id=455727 . The Spurs would hold on to win the game 38-35. The Spurs did it again in Week 8, this time, defeating the Nebraska Blackshirts 31-27 after Chriss again connected with “Velvet” in the endzone with under 2 minutes remaining: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45274&pbp_id=504841 . Their Week 8 victory would leave the Spurs at 6-and-2 after 8 weeks, keeping them in 2nd place.
The Spurs lead the league in passing yards with 2,906. They’ve also surrendered the fewest passing yards, having given up only 722 after 8 weeks. Their pass coverage is also tops in the league, with 18 interceptions.
QB Tyson Bagent has thrown for 2,906 yards, while Power Back Bijan Robinson leads the team with 436 yards rushing. DT Randy Bobandy leads the Spurs with 32 tackles while linebacker Steele Cochabamba has picked off 6 interceptions.
3 (1) - Cherokee Nation – 5-3
Cherokee Nation came out of the first quarter of the new season atop the Beta Conference standings with a solid 3-and-1 record. After their surprise appearance in Dot Bowl CVIII, many pundits expected the team to capitalize on their momentum, and their solid start to their season seemed to justify this expectation. Alas for the Nation though, they would stumble in Week 5, dropping their match against the WAR MACHINE 17-24. It would be back to the win column in Week 6 however, albeit with a very closely contested match against the High Plains Mustangs. The game wouldn’t be decided until late in the 4th quarter with less than 2 minutes to play, when punt returner Gale Sayers busted the Mustangs’ coverage to return one for the decisive score: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45263&pbp_id=406592 . In Week 7, the Nation was (in the view of many) upset by the visiting Blackshirts from Nebraska. The visiting team came into Hawks Stadium winless, but would leave with a narrow 24-21 victory. The Nation returned to form in Week 8 though, visiting Florida to deliver the Frenzy a 14-31 loss that would leave the Nation with a 5-and-3 record in what’s proving to be a tough Beta Conference – dropping them from first to third.
QB Jim Plunkett has thrown for 1,409 yards, while HB Earl Campball has rushed for 665. Coverage linebacker Tre Simmons leads the team with 42 tackles.
4 (4) - Asau Golden Eagles – 4-4
The Eagles entered Week 5 in 4th place in the Beta Conference. They defeated their Week 5 opponent the Odessa Mojo 21-30, before traveling to Wasp Stadium in Week 6, where they’d drop their 3rd of the season by a decisive 43-13 margin. Week 7 would see the Eagles hosting another of RC’s teams, the Florida Frenzy. It would prove to be another tough outing for the Eagles as they dropped this game by a score of 28-63. In what might be the wildest game of the season so far, the Golden Eagles would defeat SWAT in Week 8, after a furious comeback effort by SWAT in the fourth quarter in which they put up 17 points to take the lead. It would take a last minute field goal by Eagles kicker Peter Corbett to put Asau over the hump once and for all, winning the game by the narrowest of margins, 31-30 - https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45270&pbp_id=504728 . The kick would leave the Eagles at 4-and-4, good enough to keep them in 4th place in a very tough conference.
The Eagles have struggled with pass blocking, allowing a league-leading 51 hurries (and 8 sacks). They are tied with the Nebraska Blackshirts for passes intercepted, having been picked off 29 times. That said, they’re among the league leaders for passing yards, currently in 3rd place with 2,895 yards through the air. On the ground they’re less impressive, currently ranked dead last with just 422 rushing yards. They’ve missed 136 tackles – a league high – but have recorded 13 sacks (good enough for 2nd in the league on that metric). In terms of pass coverage, the Eagles rank last in both passes deflected and interceptions, with just 51 and 10 respectively.
QB Teddy Holloway has passed for 2,895 yards while HB Red Grange has 320 yards rushing. DT Antwon Hamilton continues to lead the Eagles with 44 tackles.
5 (5) - Athens Empire – 3-5
At 1-and-3, the Empire was hoping to turn things around as they rolled into Week 5. Unfortunately, the Spurs from Alamo City had other plans, and handed the Empire a rather lopsided 0-77 loss. A very closely contested match against the C-Town MF’ers followed in Week 6. Athens would come achingly close, but couldn’t get over the top and they’d lose that match by a narrow 29-27 margin. In Week 7, Athens would host the SWAT Team. SWAT would be the first to draw blood, but the Empire clawed its way back to an eventual 38-21 victory – the team’s second win of the season. They would follow this up in Week 8 with another win, this time against the High Plains Mustangs who they’d beat by a score of 20-7. The win would leave them at 3-and-5 after 8 weeks – 5th place in a tough Beta Conference.
Athens has fumbled the ball 8 times this season, most in the league. Their pass rush is exemplary though, and they’re currently in a 3-way tie with 37 hurries this season (alas, just 1 actual sack). Their pass coverage has also been good, with 88 passes deflected (2nd in the league behind only the MF’ers, who have 92).
Empire quarterback Amlaith has passed for 1,641 yards while running back Eric Dickerson has rushed for 483. Cornerback Lauelin leads the team with 33 tackles.
6 (6) - Odessa Mojo – 1-7
The Mojo were one of the few winless teams entering Week 5. Hoping to turn things around, they put up a valiant but alas fruitless struggle against the Asau Golden Eagles, losing 21-30. Their fortunes would change in Week 6 however, with the Mojo traveling to Nebraska to face the equally winless Blackshirts. The Blackshirts would plead no contest, and handed Odessa its first win of the season with a commanding 44-3 victory. Odessa hosted the High Plains Mustangs in Week 7, but would lose to the visitors by a score of 9-38. And another loss would follow in Week 8, this time, to the Sea Wasps who would beat the Mojo 30-7. Their 1-and-7 record after 8 weeks would leave the Mojo dead last in a tough Beta Conference.
For a team with a 1-and-7 record, the Mojo’s pass defence has been surprisingly good, having surrendered just 1,634 yards through the air – second fewest in the league. Their rush defense, however, is proving to be another story altogether, with Odessa having allowed 1,477 rushing yards this season – most in the league thus far.
QB Too Old to Die Young has passed for 1,606 yards while HB HOOD MF’n Scat Back has rushed for 275 yards. MF’n HOOD Stuffing MF’r leads the team with 45 tackles.
Pro League 2 – Alpha Conference
1 (1) - Jersey Showboats – 7-1
Jersey entered the second quarter of the season atop the Alpha Conference with a 3-and-1 record. The record came close to being upset in Week 5 as the TD’s put up a spirited defense at the TD’s Field, but in the end, it wasn’t enough and the Showboats defeated the TD’s by a close 14-6 margin. Week 6 would be another victory as the Showboats hosted the Johannesburg Jackals, this time by a score of 38-27. Week 7 would be RC vs. RC, as the Showboats traveled to Orlando where they stomped on the hitherto undefeated Prime Timers, 49-9. And to wrap up the first half of their season, Jersey defeated the visiting London Exiles 34-17. After 8 weeks, the Showboats remain on top of the Alpha Conference, 7-and-1.
After 8 games, Jersey quarterback Sammy Baugh has thrown for 2,951 yards whilst power back Tyson Swift has rushed for 408 yards. On defense, defensive tackle Efrain Brooks leads the Showboats with 30 tackles while cornerback Walter Bailey has 9 interceptions to date.
2 (2) - Tempe Venom – 6-2
Tempe entered Week 5 with a 3-and-1 record. They improved on that by destroying the Midnight Marauders 56-3 before hosting the Snoqualmie Wildcats in Week 6, defeating the Sno-cats 44-36. The Venom traveled to Honolulu in Week 7 to face a tough Wife Carriers squad, but came away with a convincing 52-14 victory. In Week 8, the Venom would host the visiting Prime Timers from Orlando in what would be a wild affair. The Orlando squad would prove to be too much though, and the Venom dropped their 2nd game of the season, finishing the first half of 109 at 6-and-2 – good enough to keep them in second place in the standings.
After 8 weeks, the Venom lead Pro League 2 with 4,088 passing yards, but have fumbled more than any other team in the league to this point, with 5 fumbles (3 lost) so far. On the ground, ‘HB – 1’ has rushed for 416 yards. Defensive back ‘CB HH2’ has 18 pass deflections and 23 tackles.
3 (4) - Miami Red Hawks – 5-3
Miami came out of the first quarter of the season with an even record of 2-and-2. After losing their first 2 games of the season they bounced back in Weeks 3 and 4 with victories against the Marauders and the TD’s. They would carry this momentum into Week 5, besting the Cochabamba Coyotes 48-14 and defeating the London Exiles in Week 6, by a score of 31-13. Week 7 would be another notch in the ‘win’ column as the Hawks traveled to KC where they’d trounce the 4-and-2 Comets in convincing fashion, 65-20. They’d lose a tough one to the Wife Carriers in Week 8 however, losing 27-37 to finish the first half of the season at 5-and-3 – good enough to place them in 3rd place, to this point in the season.
The Hawks lead the league in passes deflected, with 106 so far.
Miami’s passing attack is orchestrated by deep passer ‘Red Bazooka’ who’s passed for 2,304 yards. His brother, the other ‘Red Bazooka’, leads the team in rushing yards, with 388. On defense, run-stuffing DT Monster Hawk leads the Hawks with 40 tackles.
4 (3) - Midnight Marauders – 4-4
The Marauders came out of Week 3 with a winning 2-and-1 record, but ran into a series of top-notch teams in Weeks 4, 5, and 6. Following their Week 4 loss against the Jersey Showboats, they had the misfortune of meeting the Tempe Venom and Honolulu Wife Carriers in quick succession in Weeks 5 and 6, losing 3-56 and 16-20 respectively. The Honolulu game offered some cause for hope however, as the Wife Carriers needed an impressive 17-point 4th quarter to come back and secure the victory. In Week 7, the Marauders traveled to the Clink to face the 1-and-5 Snoqualmie Wildcats, a team they’d hold on to beat 32-27. And they’d add another win in Week 8 when they hosted the visiting Jackals after Steve Grogan broke free in the 4th quarter for a 76-yard gain to put them over the top, for a 31-27 win - https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45379&pbp_id=480547 . The Marauders would drop back a spot into 4th place after 8 games, with a split 4-and-4 record.
After 8 weeks, the Marauders lead Pro League 2 with 1,346 rushing yards, but are also tied for 1st in interceptions, having been picked off 21 times this season. On defense, the Marauders’ pass rush leads the league with 22 sacks and 60 hurries.
Pivot MM Tom Brady has passed for 1,458 yards while MM Rhamondre Stevenson has carried the ball for 552 yards. On defense, linebacker MM Tedy Bruschi leads the team with 52 tackles while CB MM Rampage has 17 sacks.
5 (5) - Cochabamba Coyotes – 3-5
The Coyotes entered Week 5 riding a split record of 2-and-2. They’d struggle through Weeks 5 and 6 with two successive losses however, dropping their Week 5 contest with the Miami Red Hawks 14-48 before hosting the Orlando Prime Timers in Week 6 – a game they would lose 10-48. It wouldn’t get any better in Week 7, as the Coyotes traveled to Johannesburg where the Jackals would embarrass them, 108-10. A date with the visiting KC Comets loomed in Week 8, and this time, the Coyotes were ready, defeating the Comets 39-27 to wrap their first half of the season at 3-and-5.
After 8 games, Cochabamba has surrendered 3,200 passing yards – more than any other team. They’ve also been sacked more than anyone else, 21 times.
Quarterback Boozy Patton has thrown for 2,013 yards. The Coyotes ground attack is led by power back Deshaun Baxter who’s rushed for 468 yards. On defense, cornerback Cam Jenkins Jr. leads the team with 36 tackles.
6 (6) - LetMeShe/Them TD’s – 1-7
Them TD’s entered the second quarter of the season winless at 0-and-4. It would be their misfortune to face two stacked squads in Weeks 5 and 6. Hosting the visiting Jersey Showboats in Week 5, the TD’s kept it to within a point until the 4th quarter when the Showboats put it out of reach, ultimately defeating the TD’s by a score of 6-14. It was not to be so close in Week 6 however, when the TD’s hosted the KC Comets, who bested them 6-51. A date with the Sharp Dressed Exiles awaited the TD’s in Week 7. That game would remain tied until the Exiles broke away in the 4th quarter, eventually defeating the TD’s 31-21 to hand LetMeShe its 7th consecutive loss this season. But the bleeding would stop there, at least temporarily. The TD’s hosted the vising Snoqualmie Wildcats in Week 8 and would end their losing streak by defeating the ‘Cats by a score of 35-6.
QB Lost Player has thrown for 1,833 yards. Power back Broken Arrow leads the team with 358 yards. On defense, safety Jawn SS McLeod leads the TD’s in tackles with 33.
Pro League 2 – Beta Conference
1 (2) - Orlando Prime Timers – 7-1
Orlando entered the 2nd quarter of the season undefeated at 4-and-0 – only one of two teams to remain undefeated to that point. As luck would have it, both undefeated teams would square off in Week 5, perhaps offering a preview of a future conference title fight. In this contest, the Prime Timers would host the 4-and-0 Honolulu Wife Carriers. The Week 5 match up would be a battle royale, and would ultimately be decided on the foot of unassuming Orland kicker, Gomer Pyle, who booted a late 4th quarter field goal to tie the game in its dying minutes before ultimately kicking the winner in overtime to win the game 31-34: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45365&pbp_id=334093 . Pyle himself seemed rather bemused following the game, offering the following quote: “Well…surprise, surprise, surprise!” The Prime Timers would carry the adrenaline rush with them into Week 6 as they traveled to Marlins Stadium to face the Cochabamba Coyotes, a game they would win by a more convincing 48-10 margin. The Prime Timers entered Week 7 undefeated, but faced the visiting Jersey Showboats. The Showboats didn’t waste any time, scoring early and often en route to delivering Orlando its first-and-only loss this season by a statement score of 9-49. The defending champs wouldn’t be down for long though, returning to the win column in Week 8 after defeating the Tempe Venom 45-38 in a wild barnburner of a game. The win would leave the Prime Timers atop the Beta Conference at the halfway point of the season.
Jaylen Leslie has thrown for 2,828 yards while power back Bo Jackson has rushed for 547. The defense is led by run-stuffing defensive tackle Lance Glover and linebacker Derick Fitzpatrick, each with 27 tackles.
2 (1) - Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers – 6-2
One of only two undefeated teams entering the 2nd quarter of the new season, the schedule gods had inadvertently set up a classic showdown in Week 5, pitting the HHWC against the only other undefeated team: The Prime Timers from Orlando. The Week 5 clash-of-titans would not disappoint, with both teams slugging away until late in the 4th quarter when Orlando kicker Gomer Pyle tied the game to send it to a 5th frame. Pyle would strike again in overtime, dashing the hopes of the Honolulu faithful as he put the Prime Timers over the top by a score of 31-34. In Week 6, the Wife Carriers faced another stubborn opponent who refused to go quietly into the night when they faced the aptly named Midnight Marauders. The Carriers would need a late 4th quarter rally to score 17 unanswered points before prevailing by a final score of 20-16. In Week 7, the HHWC would be handed their 2nd loss of the season, being bested by the Tempe Venom 14-52. But they’d return to the win column in Week 8, defeating the Miami Red Hawks 37-27 to close the first half of the season at 6-and-2, ceding the top rank to the defending champs from Orlando.
Honolulu’s run defense is solid, with just 551 rushing yards given up after 8 games.
Dayton Hurley has thrown for 2,424 yards while Jedi Master Mace Windu leads the Carriers on the ground with 266 rushing yards. Cornerback Mark Angel leads the team with 30 tackles.
3 (3) - KC Comets – 4-4
Following their ‘fan appreciation season’ in 108, the Comets came out swinging in season 109. Splitting their first 4 games 2-and-2, the Comets rattled off a series of victories the following weeks. In Week 5, the Comets hopped across the Pond to London to face the Exiles. The game was closer than pundits predicted, and required a 4th quarter 2-yard slam by power back Jerome Jerome to put the Comets over the top: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45363&pbp_id=333685 . In Week 6, the Comets hosted Them TD’s – a game they’d go on to win more convincingly, 51-6. In Week 7, it would be the Miami Red Hawks visiting. This time, the home team Comets would lose rather convincingly, 20-65. Another loss would follow in Week 8, this time to the Coyotes as the Comets traveled to Cochabamba, a game they would lose 27-39.
The Comets are tied for most interceptions thrown to date, at 21. Missed tackles have also hurt them, with 178 so far – most in the league. They run a high pressure defense though – the Comets rank 2nd in the league for hurries with 50, and have deflected 101 passes, third overall.
Mahomes Montana has passed for 2,953 yards, while power back Jerome Jerome leads the Comets on the ground with 424 rushing yards. Blitzing linebacker Lawrence Seau is tied for the lead in total tackles with 27 while stand-out free safety Zion leads the Comets’ pass rush with 23 hurries and 2 sacks, most on the team for each category.
4 (4) - Johannesburg Jackals – 3-5
The Jackals arrived at the quarter-way mark of the season with a 1-and-3 record, having battled both powerhouses Orlando and Honolulu in the opening weeks. In Week 5, they’d face a more even match as they hosted the Snoqualmie Wildcats in a close and entertaining game they’d ultimately go on to win by a score of 28-21. In Week 6 however, they’d face another strong opponent in the Jersey Showboats, a match they’d drop 27-38. The Jackals hosted the visiting Coyotes of Cochabamba in Week 7, a game the home team would win convincingly, 108-10. But it would be another loss in Week 8 unfortunately, this time to the Midnight Marauders. The game would be close, but the Jackals came out on the losing end of a 27-31 decision to wrap up the first half of their season at 3-and-5.
Kellen Barney leads the Jackals with 2,407 passing yards while elusive running back, Solomon “Rebel” Hulston continues to lead the team in rushing yards with 362. Defensive tackle Jerrod McLeod has 38 tackles on the season while cornerback Gunner Swift has 12 sacks – 2nd most in the league.
5 (5) - Snoqualmie Wildcats – 1-7
Snoqualmie entered Week 5 with a 1-and-3 record. Their next two games would be a road trip, first to Johannesburg, losing to the Jackals 21-28, and then to ‘The Pit’ in Tempe, where they’d lose to the Venom 36-44. It would be back to Snoqualmie for Week 7, and a match against the visiting Marauders. The match was close, but in the end, the visiting team prevailed, beating the Sno-cats 32-27. In Week 8, the Sno-cats traveled to TD Stadium where they’d lose their 6th consecutive game 6-35, finishing the first half of the season at 1-and-7.
The Wildcats currently rank last in the league with just 1,409 passing yards, and are 2nd in the league for passing yards given up, with 2,672. Things aren’t much better defensively on the ground, as Snoqualmie has allowed 1,402 rushing yards, the most in that category. On the plus side, as a team, the Wildcats lead the league in tackles with 571.
Ben Hogan has 1,409 passing yards this season while Bus 142 has rushed for 835. Joaquin Niemann leads the ‘Cats with 42 tackles.
6 (6) - London Exiles – 1-7
Entering Week 5, London had been riding a 4-game losing streak, and they hoped to staunch the bleeding when they hosted the KC Comets in Week 5. They came agonizingly close to breaking the streak, but couldn’t prevent the Comets from scoring the go-ahead touchdown in the 4th quarter – a score that would prove decisive. The following week, the Exiles traveled to Miami where they would lose to the Red Hawks 13-31. After 6 tough weeks of rough sledding, the Exiles finally broke into the win column in Week 7 when they hosted Them TD’s at Highbury. That game remained tied until late in the 4th quarter, when running back Gale Sayers surged across the line for what would prove to be the winning score: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45376&pbp_id=433383 . The Exiles would add another field goal to eventually win the game 31-21 and break their winless streak. It was bad luck that the Exiles faced the powerhouse Showboats from Jersey in Week 8, as they would prove unable to capitalize on their momentum coming out of Week 7. The Exiles would lose to the Showboats in a relatively close 34-17 decision.
Despite their low placement in the standings, the Exiles boast one of the league’s best rushing attacks, having rushed for 1,056 yards this season, second only to the Marauders.
QB Roger Staubach has passed for 1,553 yards. On the ground, Jamar The Exile McCracken has rushed for 358 yards. On defense, cornerback pick FIGHTS and defensive leads the Exiles with 26 tackles, while linebacker Eugene Harris has 17 pass deflections, second most in the league.
Volume 2, Issue 4
Oooh, ma, oooh, pa
Where’s the feeling gone?
Oooh, ma, oooh, pa
Will I remember the songs?
Oooh ah…
The show must go on…
The Show Must Go On
Thank you for purchasing your copy of The Capital Times – written by your faithful correspondent, unanimously voted by our journalism school alumni as ‘Most likely to live in his very own car or van’!
After what seemed an Ice Age of an off season, it seems almost inconceivable that we’ve already reached the halfway point of the season, but here we are. Without further adieu, let’s get into our mid-season updates…
Pro League 1 – Alpha Conference
Parity would seem to be the order of the day in Pro 1 Alpha, with 4 teams locked up at 4-and-4 each, after the first half of the season concluded.
1 (2) - C-Town MF’n Hood – 5-3
C-Town entered Week 5 with an equal record to the Mustangs, at 3-and-1. Unlike High Plains who would stumble against the Frenzy, the MF’ers trounced their Week 5 opponents the Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps by a lopsided score of 62-34. A much closer game would follow in Week 6 as the Hood hosted the Athens Empire. The MF’ers would hold on to win this one by a tight 29-27 margin. They’d be less fortunate in Week 7, when C-Town traveled to Alamo City to play the Spurs. The MF’ers held the lead until late in the game but lost the game on the basis of a late Spurs touchdown, 35-38. In Week 8, the MF’ers traveled to MACHINE STADIUM where they’d lose another close one, this time 19-24, finishing the first half of their season at 5-and-3, good enough to move them to the top of the Alpha standings.
Coverage is a strength for the Mothers, who lead the league with 92 pass deflections.
MF’n Flamethrower has 2,545 passing yards through eight games, while power back MF’n Hood MF’er has rushed for 357.
2 (4) - SWAT Team – 4-4
With a split 2-2 record, SWAT entered the second quarter of their season in fourth place in the Alpha Conference. They came out strong in Week 5 though, coming from behind in their match against the Nebraska Blackshirts and holding on to win by a narrow margin of 17-20. Week 6 would be another victory as the SWAT defeated the visiting Spurs 34-17. SWAT visited the Athens Empire in Week 7, where they would lose by a score of 21-38. Another loss would follow in Week 8, this time to the Asau Golden Eagles, in a game they’d lose in the dying seconds following a field goal that put the Eagles over the top. After 8 weeks, SWAT would have a split 4-and-4 record, good enough to move them up two spots into second place in the Alpha Conference.
QB Dan Pastorini has thrown for 1,876 yards while HB Emmitt Smith has rushed for 544. Cornerback George Van Slyke leads SWAT with 37 tackles and 10 passes deflected.
3 (5) - Florida Frenzy – 4-4
After splitting their first 4 games of the season, Florida came out swinging in Week 5, defeating the High Plains Mustangs 24-13. Week 6 would see the Frenzy drop their third game however, as the visiting WAR MACHINE held on to defeat the Frenzy in a close contest 37-42. It would be RC vs RC in Week 7, with the Frenzy traveling to Asau to face the Golden Eagles. The Frenzy would dominate this game, beating the Eagles by a comfortable margin, 63-28. Week 8 versus the Cherokee Nation would prove to be a tougher outing for the Frenzy however. Florida would drop this game to the visiting Nation by a score of 14-31. Nevertheless, their 4-and-4 record after 8 weeks would bump Florida up two spots in the Alpha standings, leaving them in 3rd.
The Florida pass rush is in a 3-way tie for first in the league, with 37 hurries so far, but they’re alone in first for the number of sacks they’ve registered, with 14 after 8 games.
QB Ken Anderson has thrown for 2,902 yards while HB Marcus Allen has rushed for 403. Defensive tackle John McDonald leads the Frenzy with 42 tackles while coverage linebacker Alonzo Jewell has 6 interceptions.
4 (1) - High Plains Mustangs – 4-4
The Mustangs entered the 2nd quarter of the season atop the Alpha Conference with a glittering 3-and-1 record, and showed every sign of carrying that momentum through its next 4 games. They ran into a buzz saw in Week 5 however, traveling to Florida where the Frenzy would drop them 24-13. Another loss would follow in Week 6 as they hosted Cherokee Nation, a game they would lose 20-27 following a late Cherokee touchdown. The 2-game slide came to an end in Week 7 however, with a 38-9 victory over the Odessa Mojo. But Week 8 would see the Mustangs lose to the Athens Empire 7-20, leaving them at 4-and-4 and dropping them from 1st to 4th in their conference standings.
The Mustangs have given up the fewest passing yards to this point in the season, having surrendered just 1,461 yards through the air. Their rushing attack, meanwhile, is also tops. They’ve rushed for 1,578 yards, the most for Pro 1. If the Mustangs have an Achilles’ Heel, it could be their pass blocking. The team leads the league in sacks given up, with General Hunter Gathers having been ground into the dirt 19 times (so far).
Gathers has passed for 1,617 yards while HB PEGASAS has rushed for 1,022. Run-stuffer George Wellman leads the Mustangs with 41 tackles.
5 (3) - Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps – 4-4
With a 2-and-2 record following Week 4, the Wasps found themselves in 3rd place in the Alpha Conference. Their Week 5 opponent was a stacked C-Town squad who dealt them a resounding blow to start the second quarter of their season, swatting the Wasps 62-34. Still smarting from their lopsided defeat the previous week, the Wasps hosted the Asau Golden Eagles at Wasp Stadium in Week 6, and bounced back with a decisive 43-13 victory. The Wasps traveled to WAR MACHINE the following week where they’d lose a 10-48 decision. It would be back to the win column in Week 8 however, with the Wasps hosting the Odessa Mojo, who they’d beat by a convincing 30-7 margin. Their split record of 4-and-4 after 8 weeks would drop the Wasps from 3rd to 5th in the Alpha Conference standings.
The Wasps have struggled through the air, passing for just 1,392 yards – the fewest in Pro 1. They also have the fewest pass attempts however, with just 224. And their completion percentage of 62.9 per cent puts them in the middle of the pack on that metric. Perhaps of greater concern is the number of missed tackles they’re registering. With 126, they’re second in the league on that metric. They do have a good pass rush however, and are tied for 1st in the league with 37 hurries.
QB Dick Shiner has thrown for 1,392 yards, while HB John Henry Johnson has rushed for 681. Linebacker Jack Handsbert continues to lead the Wasps with 43 tackles. CB Cote de Pablo leads Pro League 1 with 10 interceptions so far.
6 (6) - Nebraska Blackshirts – 1-7
The Blackshirts entered the 2nd quarter of the season at the bottom of the Alpha Conference, winless following their first 4 games. They had hoped to stop the slide in Week 5, but unfortunately for the squad from Nebraska, they’d drop a close one against the SWAT Team, losing 17-20. Another loss would follow in Week 6, this one more decisive, with the Blackshirts hosting the Odessa Mojo who would win that game by a commanding 44-3. The slide would finally come to and end in Week 7 however, as the Blackshirts held on to defeat their hosts, Cherokee Nation at Hawks Stadium by a slim margin, 24-21. Alas, it would be back to the loss column the following Week, when Nebraska gave up a 4th quarter lead to lose 27-31 to the Alamo City Spurs. Their 1-and-7 record after 8 weeks leaves them at the bottom of the Alpha standings.
The Blackshirts have been picked off 29 times so far – first in the league on that metric, a dubious title they share with the Asau Golden Eagles.
Nebraska quarterback Dylan Raiola Rafiki has passed for 1,980 yards but has been picked off 29 times, while elusive HB Gabe Ervin Jr Rafiki has rushed for 289 yards.
Pro League 1 – Beta Conference
1 (3) - WAR MACHINE – 7-1
WAR MACHINE entered Week 5 in the middle of the pack, but came out guns-a-blazing to upset Cherokee Nation in a tightly contested match, winning 17-24. Week 6 would be another victory for the MACHINE as they traveled to Florida to deliver a 37-42 loss to the Frenzy. WAR MACHINE dismantled the visiting Sea Wasps in Week 7, defeating the Tyrrhenians 48-10. They’d wrap up the first half of their season with another win, this time against the C-Town MF’ers, following a late 4th quarter completion between Witherspoon and TE Wide Open: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45271&pbp_id=504536 . After 8 weeks, the MACHINE’s glittering 7-and-1 record would leave them atop a very competitive Beta Conference.
WAR runs a hard-hitting defense, leading the league in forced fumbles, with 9.
Strong Arm Witherspoon has passed for 1,979 yards while deep passing QB I’m Just Built Different leads the way on the ground with 675. CB Jaire Alexander leads the MACHINE with 36 tackles.
2 (2) - Alamo City Spurs – 6-2
Roaring into Week 5 was the Alamo City Spurs, who dismantled Athens, holding the Empire to a mere 10 passing yards en route to a 0-77 rout. Week 6 would not be as dominant for the Spurs, and indeed, they would drop that match 34-17 to the SWAT Team as the Spurs traveled to Gunslingers Stadium. Week 7 would prove to be a thriller as the Spurs hosted the visiting MF’ers from C-Town. The game would not be decided until late in the 4th, as Alamo City pivot Zeon Chriss connected with WR Detroit “Velvet” Smooth in the endzone to give Alamo the late lead: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45265&pbp_id=455727 . The Spurs would hold on to win the game 38-35. The Spurs did it again in Week 8, this time, defeating the Nebraska Blackshirts 31-27 after Chriss again connected with “Velvet” in the endzone with under 2 minutes remaining: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45274&pbp_id=504841 . Their Week 8 victory would leave the Spurs at 6-and-2 after 8 weeks, keeping them in 2nd place.
The Spurs lead the league in passing yards with 2,906. They’ve also surrendered the fewest passing yards, having given up only 722 after 8 weeks. Their pass coverage is also tops in the league, with 18 interceptions.
QB Tyson Bagent has thrown for 2,906 yards, while Power Back Bijan Robinson leads the team with 436 yards rushing. DT Randy Bobandy leads the Spurs with 32 tackles while linebacker Steele Cochabamba has picked off 6 interceptions.
3 (1) - Cherokee Nation – 5-3
Cherokee Nation came out of the first quarter of the new season atop the Beta Conference standings with a solid 3-and-1 record. After their surprise appearance in Dot Bowl CVIII, many pundits expected the team to capitalize on their momentum, and their solid start to their season seemed to justify this expectation. Alas for the Nation though, they would stumble in Week 5, dropping their match against the WAR MACHINE 17-24. It would be back to the win column in Week 6 however, albeit with a very closely contested match against the High Plains Mustangs. The game wouldn’t be decided until late in the 4th quarter with less than 2 minutes to play, when punt returner Gale Sayers busted the Mustangs’ coverage to return one for the decisive score: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45263&pbp_id=406592 . In Week 7, the Nation was (in the view of many) upset by the visiting Blackshirts from Nebraska. The visiting team came into Hawks Stadium winless, but would leave with a narrow 24-21 victory. The Nation returned to form in Week 8 though, visiting Florida to deliver the Frenzy a 14-31 loss that would leave the Nation with a 5-and-3 record in what’s proving to be a tough Beta Conference – dropping them from first to third.
QB Jim Plunkett has thrown for 1,409 yards, while HB Earl Campball has rushed for 665. Coverage linebacker Tre Simmons leads the team with 42 tackles.
4 (4) - Asau Golden Eagles – 4-4
The Eagles entered Week 5 in 4th place in the Beta Conference. They defeated their Week 5 opponent the Odessa Mojo 21-30, before traveling to Wasp Stadium in Week 6, where they’d drop their 3rd of the season by a decisive 43-13 margin. Week 7 would see the Eagles hosting another of RC’s teams, the Florida Frenzy. It would prove to be another tough outing for the Eagles as they dropped this game by a score of 28-63. In what might be the wildest game of the season so far, the Golden Eagles would defeat SWAT in Week 8, after a furious comeback effort by SWAT in the fourth quarter in which they put up 17 points to take the lead. It would take a last minute field goal by Eagles kicker Peter Corbett to put Asau over the hump once and for all, winning the game by the narrowest of margins, 31-30 - https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45270&pbp_id=504728 . The kick would leave the Eagles at 4-and-4, good enough to keep them in 4th place in a very tough conference.
The Eagles have struggled with pass blocking, allowing a league-leading 51 hurries (and 8 sacks). They are tied with the Nebraska Blackshirts for passes intercepted, having been picked off 29 times. That said, they’re among the league leaders for passing yards, currently in 3rd place with 2,895 yards through the air. On the ground they’re less impressive, currently ranked dead last with just 422 rushing yards. They’ve missed 136 tackles – a league high – but have recorded 13 sacks (good enough for 2nd in the league on that metric). In terms of pass coverage, the Eagles rank last in both passes deflected and interceptions, with just 51 and 10 respectively.
QB Teddy Holloway has passed for 2,895 yards while HB Red Grange has 320 yards rushing. DT Antwon Hamilton continues to lead the Eagles with 44 tackles.
5 (5) - Athens Empire – 3-5
At 1-and-3, the Empire was hoping to turn things around as they rolled into Week 5. Unfortunately, the Spurs from Alamo City had other plans, and handed the Empire a rather lopsided 0-77 loss. A very closely contested match against the C-Town MF’ers followed in Week 6. Athens would come achingly close, but couldn’t get over the top and they’d lose that match by a narrow 29-27 margin. In Week 7, Athens would host the SWAT Team. SWAT would be the first to draw blood, but the Empire clawed its way back to an eventual 38-21 victory – the team’s second win of the season. They would follow this up in Week 8 with another win, this time against the High Plains Mustangs who they’d beat by a score of 20-7. The win would leave them at 3-and-5 after 8 weeks – 5th place in a tough Beta Conference.
Athens has fumbled the ball 8 times this season, most in the league. Their pass rush is exemplary though, and they’re currently in a 3-way tie with 37 hurries this season (alas, just 1 actual sack). Their pass coverage has also been good, with 88 passes deflected (2nd in the league behind only the MF’ers, who have 92).
Empire quarterback Amlaith has passed for 1,641 yards while running back Eric Dickerson has rushed for 483. Cornerback Lauelin leads the team with 33 tackles.
6 (6) - Odessa Mojo – 1-7
The Mojo were one of the few winless teams entering Week 5. Hoping to turn things around, they put up a valiant but alas fruitless struggle against the Asau Golden Eagles, losing 21-30. Their fortunes would change in Week 6 however, with the Mojo traveling to Nebraska to face the equally winless Blackshirts. The Blackshirts would plead no contest, and handed Odessa its first win of the season with a commanding 44-3 victory. Odessa hosted the High Plains Mustangs in Week 7, but would lose to the visitors by a score of 9-38. And another loss would follow in Week 8, this time, to the Sea Wasps who would beat the Mojo 30-7. Their 1-and-7 record after 8 weeks would leave the Mojo dead last in a tough Beta Conference.
For a team with a 1-and-7 record, the Mojo’s pass defence has been surprisingly good, having surrendered just 1,634 yards through the air – second fewest in the league. Their rush defense, however, is proving to be another story altogether, with Odessa having allowed 1,477 rushing yards this season – most in the league thus far.
QB Too Old to Die Young has passed for 1,606 yards while HB HOOD MF’n Scat Back has rushed for 275 yards. MF’n HOOD Stuffing MF’r leads the team with 45 tackles.
Pro League 2 – Alpha Conference
1 (1) - Jersey Showboats – 7-1
Jersey entered the second quarter of the season atop the Alpha Conference with a 3-and-1 record. The record came close to being upset in Week 5 as the TD’s put up a spirited defense at the TD’s Field, but in the end, it wasn’t enough and the Showboats defeated the TD’s by a close 14-6 margin. Week 6 would be another victory as the Showboats hosted the Johannesburg Jackals, this time by a score of 38-27. Week 7 would be RC vs. RC, as the Showboats traveled to Orlando where they stomped on the hitherto undefeated Prime Timers, 49-9. And to wrap up the first half of their season, Jersey defeated the visiting London Exiles 34-17. After 8 weeks, the Showboats remain on top of the Alpha Conference, 7-and-1.
After 8 games, Jersey quarterback Sammy Baugh has thrown for 2,951 yards whilst power back Tyson Swift has rushed for 408 yards. On defense, defensive tackle Efrain Brooks leads the Showboats with 30 tackles while cornerback Walter Bailey has 9 interceptions to date.
2 (2) - Tempe Venom – 6-2
Tempe entered Week 5 with a 3-and-1 record. They improved on that by destroying the Midnight Marauders 56-3 before hosting the Snoqualmie Wildcats in Week 6, defeating the Sno-cats 44-36. The Venom traveled to Honolulu in Week 7 to face a tough Wife Carriers squad, but came away with a convincing 52-14 victory. In Week 8, the Venom would host the visiting Prime Timers from Orlando in what would be a wild affair. The Orlando squad would prove to be too much though, and the Venom dropped their 2nd game of the season, finishing the first half of 109 at 6-and-2 – good enough to keep them in second place in the standings.
After 8 weeks, the Venom lead Pro League 2 with 4,088 passing yards, but have fumbled more than any other team in the league to this point, with 5 fumbles (3 lost) so far. On the ground, ‘HB – 1’ has rushed for 416 yards. Defensive back ‘CB HH2’ has 18 pass deflections and 23 tackles.
3 (4) - Miami Red Hawks – 5-3
Miami came out of the first quarter of the season with an even record of 2-and-2. After losing their first 2 games of the season they bounced back in Weeks 3 and 4 with victories against the Marauders and the TD’s. They would carry this momentum into Week 5, besting the Cochabamba Coyotes 48-14 and defeating the London Exiles in Week 6, by a score of 31-13. Week 7 would be another notch in the ‘win’ column as the Hawks traveled to KC where they’d trounce the 4-and-2 Comets in convincing fashion, 65-20. They’d lose a tough one to the Wife Carriers in Week 8 however, losing 27-37 to finish the first half of the season at 5-and-3 – good enough to place them in 3rd place, to this point in the season.
The Hawks lead the league in passes deflected, with 106 so far.
Miami’s passing attack is orchestrated by deep passer ‘Red Bazooka’ who’s passed for 2,304 yards. His brother, the other ‘Red Bazooka’, leads the team in rushing yards, with 388. On defense, run-stuffing DT Monster Hawk leads the Hawks with 40 tackles.
4 (3) - Midnight Marauders – 4-4
The Marauders came out of Week 3 with a winning 2-and-1 record, but ran into a series of top-notch teams in Weeks 4, 5, and 6. Following their Week 4 loss against the Jersey Showboats, they had the misfortune of meeting the Tempe Venom and Honolulu Wife Carriers in quick succession in Weeks 5 and 6, losing 3-56 and 16-20 respectively. The Honolulu game offered some cause for hope however, as the Wife Carriers needed an impressive 17-point 4th quarter to come back and secure the victory. In Week 7, the Marauders traveled to the Clink to face the 1-and-5 Snoqualmie Wildcats, a team they’d hold on to beat 32-27. And they’d add another win in Week 8 when they hosted the visiting Jackals after Steve Grogan broke free in the 4th quarter for a 76-yard gain to put them over the top, for a 31-27 win - https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45379&pbp_id=480547 . The Marauders would drop back a spot into 4th place after 8 games, with a split 4-and-4 record.
After 8 weeks, the Marauders lead Pro League 2 with 1,346 rushing yards, but are also tied for 1st in interceptions, having been picked off 21 times this season. On defense, the Marauders’ pass rush leads the league with 22 sacks and 60 hurries.
Pivot MM Tom Brady has passed for 1,458 yards while MM Rhamondre Stevenson has carried the ball for 552 yards. On defense, linebacker MM Tedy Bruschi leads the team with 52 tackles while CB MM Rampage has 17 sacks.
5 (5) - Cochabamba Coyotes – 3-5
The Coyotes entered Week 5 riding a split record of 2-and-2. They’d struggle through Weeks 5 and 6 with two successive losses however, dropping their Week 5 contest with the Miami Red Hawks 14-48 before hosting the Orlando Prime Timers in Week 6 – a game they would lose 10-48. It wouldn’t get any better in Week 7, as the Coyotes traveled to Johannesburg where the Jackals would embarrass them, 108-10. A date with the visiting KC Comets loomed in Week 8, and this time, the Coyotes were ready, defeating the Comets 39-27 to wrap their first half of the season at 3-and-5.
After 8 games, Cochabamba has surrendered 3,200 passing yards – more than any other team. They’ve also been sacked more than anyone else, 21 times.
Quarterback Boozy Patton has thrown for 2,013 yards. The Coyotes ground attack is led by power back Deshaun Baxter who’s rushed for 468 yards. On defense, cornerback Cam Jenkins Jr. leads the team with 36 tackles.
6 (6) - LetMeShe/Them TD’s – 1-7
Them TD’s entered the second quarter of the season winless at 0-and-4. It would be their misfortune to face two stacked squads in Weeks 5 and 6. Hosting the visiting Jersey Showboats in Week 5, the TD’s kept it to within a point until the 4th quarter when the Showboats put it out of reach, ultimately defeating the TD’s by a score of 6-14. It was not to be so close in Week 6 however, when the TD’s hosted the KC Comets, who bested them 6-51. A date with the Sharp Dressed Exiles awaited the TD’s in Week 7. That game would remain tied until the Exiles broke away in the 4th quarter, eventually defeating the TD’s 31-21 to hand LetMeShe its 7th consecutive loss this season. But the bleeding would stop there, at least temporarily. The TD’s hosted the vising Snoqualmie Wildcats in Week 8 and would end their losing streak by defeating the ‘Cats by a score of 35-6.
QB Lost Player has thrown for 1,833 yards. Power back Broken Arrow leads the team with 358 yards. On defense, safety Jawn SS McLeod leads the TD’s in tackles with 33.
Pro League 2 – Beta Conference
1 (2) - Orlando Prime Timers – 7-1
Orlando entered the 2nd quarter of the season undefeated at 4-and-0 – only one of two teams to remain undefeated to that point. As luck would have it, both undefeated teams would square off in Week 5, perhaps offering a preview of a future conference title fight. In this contest, the Prime Timers would host the 4-and-0 Honolulu Wife Carriers. The Week 5 match up would be a battle royale, and would ultimately be decided on the foot of unassuming Orland kicker, Gomer Pyle, who booted a late 4th quarter field goal to tie the game in its dying minutes before ultimately kicking the winner in overtime to win the game 31-34: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45365&pbp_id=334093 . Pyle himself seemed rather bemused following the game, offering the following quote: “Well…surprise, surprise, surprise!” The Prime Timers would carry the adrenaline rush with them into Week 6 as they traveled to Marlins Stadium to face the Cochabamba Coyotes, a game they would win by a more convincing 48-10 margin. The Prime Timers entered Week 7 undefeated, but faced the visiting Jersey Showboats. The Showboats didn’t waste any time, scoring early and often en route to delivering Orlando its first-and-only loss this season by a statement score of 9-49. The defending champs wouldn’t be down for long though, returning to the win column in Week 8 after defeating the Tempe Venom 45-38 in a wild barnburner of a game. The win would leave the Prime Timers atop the Beta Conference at the halfway point of the season.
Jaylen Leslie has thrown for 2,828 yards while power back Bo Jackson has rushed for 547. The defense is led by run-stuffing defensive tackle Lance Glover and linebacker Derick Fitzpatrick, each with 27 tackles.
2 (1) - Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers – 6-2
One of only two undefeated teams entering the 2nd quarter of the new season, the schedule gods had inadvertently set up a classic showdown in Week 5, pitting the HHWC against the only other undefeated team: The Prime Timers from Orlando. The Week 5 clash-of-titans would not disappoint, with both teams slugging away until late in the 4th quarter when Orlando kicker Gomer Pyle tied the game to send it to a 5th frame. Pyle would strike again in overtime, dashing the hopes of the Honolulu faithful as he put the Prime Timers over the top by a score of 31-34. In Week 6, the Wife Carriers faced another stubborn opponent who refused to go quietly into the night when they faced the aptly named Midnight Marauders. The Carriers would need a late 4th quarter rally to score 17 unanswered points before prevailing by a final score of 20-16. In Week 7, the HHWC would be handed their 2nd loss of the season, being bested by the Tempe Venom 14-52. But they’d return to the win column in Week 8, defeating the Miami Red Hawks 37-27 to close the first half of the season at 6-and-2, ceding the top rank to the defending champs from Orlando.
Honolulu’s run defense is solid, with just 551 rushing yards given up after 8 games.
Dayton Hurley has thrown for 2,424 yards while Jedi Master Mace Windu leads the Carriers on the ground with 266 rushing yards. Cornerback Mark Angel leads the team with 30 tackles.
3 (3) - KC Comets – 4-4
Following their ‘fan appreciation season’ in 108, the Comets came out swinging in season 109. Splitting their first 4 games 2-and-2, the Comets rattled off a series of victories the following weeks. In Week 5, the Comets hopped across the Pond to London to face the Exiles. The game was closer than pundits predicted, and required a 4th quarter 2-yard slam by power back Jerome Jerome to put the Comets over the top: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45363&pbp_id=333685 . In Week 6, the Comets hosted Them TD’s – a game they’d go on to win more convincingly, 51-6. In Week 7, it would be the Miami Red Hawks visiting. This time, the home team Comets would lose rather convincingly, 20-65. Another loss would follow in Week 8, this time to the Coyotes as the Comets traveled to Cochabamba, a game they would lose 27-39.
The Comets are tied for most interceptions thrown to date, at 21. Missed tackles have also hurt them, with 178 so far – most in the league. They run a high pressure defense though – the Comets rank 2nd in the league for hurries with 50, and have deflected 101 passes, third overall.
Mahomes Montana has passed for 2,953 yards, while power back Jerome Jerome leads the Comets on the ground with 424 rushing yards. Blitzing linebacker Lawrence Seau is tied for the lead in total tackles with 27 while stand-out free safety Zion leads the Comets’ pass rush with 23 hurries and 2 sacks, most on the team for each category.
4 (4) - Johannesburg Jackals – 3-5
The Jackals arrived at the quarter-way mark of the season with a 1-and-3 record, having battled both powerhouses Orlando and Honolulu in the opening weeks. In Week 5, they’d face a more even match as they hosted the Snoqualmie Wildcats in a close and entertaining game they’d ultimately go on to win by a score of 28-21. In Week 6 however, they’d face another strong opponent in the Jersey Showboats, a match they’d drop 27-38. The Jackals hosted the visiting Coyotes of Cochabamba in Week 7, a game the home team would win convincingly, 108-10. But it would be another loss in Week 8 unfortunately, this time to the Midnight Marauders. The game would be close, but the Jackals came out on the losing end of a 27-31 decision to wrap up the first half of their season at 3-and-5.
Kellen Barney leads the Jackals with 2,407 passing yards while elusive running back, Solomon “Rebel” Hulston continues to lead the team in rushing yards with 362. Defensive tackle Jerrod McLeod has 38 tackles on the season while cornerback Gunner Swift has 12 sacks – 2nd most in the league.
5 (5) - Snoqualmie Wildcats – 1-7
Snoqualmie entered Week 5 with a 1-and-3 record. Their next two games would be a road trip, first to Johannesburg, losing to the Jackals 21-28, and then to ‘The Pit’ in Tempe, where they’d lose to the Venom 36-44. It would be back to Snoqualmie for Week 7, and a match against the visiting Marauders. The match was close, but in the end, the visiting team prevailed, beating the Sno-cats 32-27. In Week 8, the Sno-cats traveled to TD Stadium where they’d lose their 6th consecutive game 6-35, finishing the first half of the season at 1-and-7.
The Wildcats currently rank last in the league with just 1,409 passing yards, and are 2nd in the league for passing yards given up, with 2,672. Things aren’t much better defensively on the ground, as Snoqualmie has allowed 1,402 rushing yards, the most in that category. On the plus side, as a team, the Wildcats lead the league in tackles with 571.
Ben Hogan has 1,409 passing yards this season while Bus 142 has rushed for 835. Joaquin Niemann leads the ‘Cats with 42 tackles.
6 (6) - London Exiles – 1-7
Entering Week 5, London had been riding a 4-game losing streak, and they hoped to staunch the bleeding when they hosted the KC Comets in Week 5. They came agonizingly close to breaking the streak, but couldn’t prevent the Comets from scoring the go-ahead touchdown in the 4th quarter – a score that would prove decisive. The following week, the Exiles traveled to Miami where they would lose to the Red Hawks 13-31. After 6 tough weeks of rough sledding, the Exiles finally broke into the win column in Week 7 when they hosted Them TD’s at Highbury. That game remained tied until late in the 4th quarter, when running back Gale Sayers surged across the line for what would prove to be the winning score: https://glb.warriorgeneral.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=45376&pbp_id=433383 . The Exiles would add another field goal to eventually win the game 31-21 and break their winless streak. It was bad luck that the Exiles faced the powerhouse Showboats from Jersey in Week 8, as they would prove unable to capitalize on their momentum coming out of Week 7. The Exiles would lose to the Showboats in a relatively close 34-17 decision.
Despite their low placement in the standings, the Exiles boast one of the league’s best rushing attacks, having rushed for 1,056 yards this season, second only to the Marauders.
QB Roger Staubach has passed for 1,553 yards. On the ground, Jamar The Exile McCracken has rushed for 358 yards. On defense, cornerback pick FIGHTS and defensive leads the Exiles with 26 tackles, while linebacker Eugene Harris has 17 pass deflections, second most in the league.
Edited by Ravenwood on Oct 6, 2024 15:55:51
