Are you Undead, or you merely felt that way the last time you saw your report card? Well then New York Nosferatu is for you. Well, your free agent rookie player(s), at least.
We vant your fresh blood.
We guarantee a lot of wins and return of your player at the end of the season, possibly along with the team tattoo that just happens to appear to outsiders like two puncture wounds** on our players necks. But hahaha, that only appears sinister. We're actually cute cuddly teddy bears when not smacking down opposing linemen.
Why should we sound like we're a bunch of vampires? Well first, we're in Dracula league, DUH. Secondly, our defense is so awesome we drain away hope from our opponents.
--
(**Sunscreen SPF 5000, not provided at team's expense.)
We vant your fresh blood.
We guarantee a lot of wins and return of your player at the end of the season, possibly along with the team tattoo that just happens to appear to outsiders like two puncture wounds** on our players necks. But hahaha, that only appears sinister. We're actually cute cuddly teddy bears when not smacking down opposing linemen.
Why should we sound like we're a bunch of vampires? Well first, we're in Dracula league, DUH. Secondly, our defense is so awesome we drain away hope from our opponents.
--
(**Sunscreen SPF 5000, not provided at team's expense.)
