(updated for Week 16 - pretty much final)
Okay, let's get some preliminary votes in. Some of this shit is already locked down tight.
For discussion's sake, I will be voting on the basis of stats only, as I can't be arsed to watch all the plays. So, sorry to any "shutdown" corners and blocking TEs.
Coaches
Methodology: Coach of the Year to the owner of the best team overall. OC and DC to the teams with the best offense and defense, respectively.
Coach of the Year: Drunzer, Northbrook Nightmare
16-0
Offensive Coordinator: Mavsman, Samoa Gangsters
Samoa leads the league in passing yards, passing TDs, rushing yards, rushing TDs, and points, is 4th in FGs attempted, and is 3rd-to-last in punts.
Defensive Coordinator: Mornacale, Samoa Gangsters
(Yes, yes, I know, voting for myself. But...) Samoa is the best defense by yards, giving up only 106 per game...80 yards/game better than second place. We have given up only 59 points, 50 fewer than 2nd place. We lead the hurries race by 76, with 229, and our 99 sacks are 47 more than the closest competition. In fact, no team but FF.com has more than 1/3 of our sack total. We're also second in passes defensed, 3rd in INTs, and tied for 3rd in forced fumbles. Finally, Samoa's defense is either second or third in points scored, including a shocking 5 of the league's 13 total safeties.
MVP: Mister Moose, DE, Samoa Gangsters
To me, this race is clearly between Moose and Bob Avellini. Now, off the bat, I am biased toward defense. But seriously: why does Avellini get to throw a million billion TDs? Because Mister Moose is behind your line sacking your quarterbacks. Mister Moose finishes the season with 41 sacks, not only 19 more than the closest competitor, but more than any team other than Samoa and FF.com. His 74 hurries put him 16 ahead of 2nd place, and also outpace almost half the league's teams. You might think that is enough, but NO SIR. He has 66 tackles from the RDE spot. He has forced 6 fumbles (and recovered 2). Moose has 6 passes defensed, and 2 goddamn interceptions. Mister Moose has a fucking touchdown. Give this man the MVP.
Offense
Center: Rok Kapow, Danish Contract Killers (A 22-pancake week 16 puts him 14 ahead of fan favorite Bill Badas.)
Guard: Slap Enticle, Tasmania Devils (Leads the league in pancakes with 241, and has the 2nd-best pancakes per play out of guards with 100 or more pancakes (behind some crazy backup on FF.com).)
Tackle: Chris Shaffer, Tasmania Devils (Ties with Samoa's John Bryant for most pancakes by a tackle, but did it in almost 200 fewer plays.)
Quarterback: Bob Avellini, Samoa Gangsters (Anyone who votes otherwise should never vote for anything ever again.)
Fullback: Gene Parmesan, Northbrook Nightmare (Despite not carrying as much of the FB load as counterparts from Samoa, Orlando, and Wollongong, Parmesan has been tearing up Alpha for 53 pancakes and 4.6 yards per carry. He is a part of one of the league's best rushing attacks, and one of the best pass protection units as well.)
Halfback: Randolf McAnderson, Las Vegas Super Bears (Usually, when you've got 2200 yards and 32 TDs, running for 6 yards per carry, you're looking at an MVP season. Sadly, this is not such a year for Rudolf. But he is still the best HB in the league.)
Tight End: Patrick Obando, Wollongong Hippos (Papeete knows what's up in TE-land. This guy has almost as many yards a G-reg Get-hed coupled with an extra 32 pancakes.)
Wide Receiver: Joel Robinson, Fiji Ventures (I want to pick McSizzle for his insane 16.8 yards per catch, but Robinson edges him by 63 receptions, which gets him 700 more yards and a TD. Counting stats triumph over rate stats here.)
Defense
Defensive Tackle: Flesh Gordon, Samoa Gangsters (No one can beat 63 tackles, 47 hurries, 22 sacks, 8 FFum, and 2 safeties. Two huge games against cupcake opponents makes Mon Luffe the closest challenger, but he falls well short.)
Defensive End: Mister Moose, Samoa Gangsters (MVP! MVP!)
Linebacker: Candyman #66, Papeete Bulldogs (Pulls away from Mav Max with 9 tackles in a tough loss. Candyman ends the year with 118 tkl, 12 PD, 5 INT, 4 FFum, 1 TD, and a safety.)
Cornerback: TEE BONE, Melbourne Assassins (Nobody can argue with 17 INTs and a ridiculous 4 TDs. )
Strong Safety: Buddy James, Mount Isa Dingoes (Has made 97 tackles and missed only 9, plus 3 TFL, 2 INTs, and an excellent 23 passes defensed. Supa Sock is a fairly close runner-up.)
Free Safety: Rob Snowden, Perth Pirates (0 missed tackles in 65 tries, plus 40 passes defensed, makes him the best last line of defense in the league.)
Special Teams
Kicker: Sammey Ozburn, Wollongong Hippos (In my opinion, the most accurate kicker in the league. Tally Dawg's misses from short range keep him in 2nd place by a ridiculously tiny margin.)
Punter: Gay Ruy, Samoa Gangsters (Remember those 5 safeties on Samoa? Well, this guy gets a lot of the credit for them.)
Returner: Devin "ANYTIME" Hester, Las Vegas Super Bears (4 TDs + high average returns = best returner. Anyone who votes for Martin Gorleau just for beating up on the Turkey Gobblers is retarded.)
If anyone would like to debate any of my picks, please see me in the discussion thread. I'd love to chat about it. Also, I must admit that I didn't look very hard for a better TE, FB, or FS, as they're very hard to pick out. If someone wants to point one out, pm me. Thanks.
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