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Maddencoach
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“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades”-





(2-1) LaPaz Challengers vs (0-3) Redmond's Imposters

The Impostors are demanding some respect. Not sure you guys came to the right place - Not when the challengers QB Peter "One Trick Pony" Venkman at the driver seat of this team production. LaPaz will hock a loogie on the butthole of a crackhead and have you slurp it out with a straw. That's how much respect the Impostors can expect to receive.



(0-3) Canton Bulldogs vs (2-1) Eastern European Alliance

The Bulldogs are heading into 11 straight loses dating back since season 3 in league competition. Canton season thus far have been more disappointing than a guy running into the wall with a boner and breaking his nose first. EEA "QB Ernest P. Worrell" have never been a Quarterback that stay down long. He's a modern age Brett Favre. Son of a bitch, can over come some adversity after a wreck, I think he's just a pure winner. Eastern European Alliance have not lose back to back since.... ever. They have manage to write off every single defeat with a victory.



(3-0) HOLY GUACAMOLE! vs (1-2) Gangsta Wit it'

This should be interesting. Gangsta Wit it' been using vice grips to tighten up that defense, but once Holy get themselves lock in, they go nuts on an amazing winning streak. Number one defensive team on their side- LB Laquatious Shariff lead the league in sacks, force fumble and fumble recovery. Fuck "fundamentals", I wanna see giants fly across the field in defiance of physics. This is the kind of game where even Gangsta wit it shadows will be wearing protective gear because it's going to get as nasty as a backed up toilet in a crappy bar..... wiping your ass and smelling your fingers NASTY!



(1-2) DA BORG ! vs (3-0) 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers

DA BORG "WR Luis Suarez" a.k.a Frequent Flyer a.k.a Full Bar Connection a.k.a Mr Reliable- Being able to pluck the football out of the air is very much a skill you either have or don't have at the early stages of one's career. This Wide out has a gift but it wont be enough to rise above a team like the Cornhuskers. They ate better teams for breakfast, the Huskers are determined to be the last man standing. I'm not a doctor or anything but this team is flat out sick!!! They will stab you with Magic Johnson tattoo gun and purposely forget to sterilize the needle.



(2-1) Winnipeg Wrath vs (3-0) Minnesota Stunners

We like the Wrath, we think they are a fine team. The last thing we wants to do is crush their spirit, But it's still on our list of things to do. The stunners game plan is simple and everyone knows it. An old lady at the bank once asked if HB Jimbo Jumpback could help her check her balance- So he pushed her over. This is what you are up against. Winnipeg should be more nervous than muff diving while your girlfriend is on her rag.



(0-3) Montreal Blue Knights vs (1-2) LUELinks LUEshis

Blue Knights are more confuse than a fat kid with a salad. Montreal is not good for much, but they are the best at taking an ass kicking. LUELinks LUEshis finally got their first win and more likely to pick up another. QB Smitty Rasmussen for the LUEshis played his best game and trying to galvanized the troops. Looking at their schedule, they have one of the toughest back to back games ahead facing 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers and HOLY GUACAMOLE! - Ouch! Roll those sleeves because Hell on Earth awaits.

 
vipermaw82
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OMG THIS IS TOO MUCH LMAO!
 
glwarriors
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Well hey - if we has to go down we can go down swinging.

In between anal violations.
 
andrewtabs
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i wish i could galvanize a womans vagina
 
boldtroll
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Hilarious write up ! haha great!
 
TxSteve
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Good game Winnipeg! Close one.
 
yello43
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Is the pity TD a real thing? It seems like every team getting blown out scores a TD in the last minute or two after being pooped on the whole game.

Edit: It's nice to see Lapaz deploy real tactics on offense this week.
Edited by yello43 on May 24, 2014 07:51:32
 
arcjedi
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nice to see we've gained official whipping post status here in LaPaz.
 
Maddencoach
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Great game Wrath. You guys didn't shy away and brought the fight right to us
Hope to see you guys in the play-offs.
 
Maddencoach
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Originally posted by arcjedi
nice to see we've gained official whipping post status here in LaPaz.


I'm sorry but LaPaz decided to be pure cheese and officially killed their own team identity.
You are now Yorick's QB Goal Line Sweeps Jr.

It's a shame because I think you guys are better than that, haha guess I can be wrong from time to time.

 
Maddencoach
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Gangsta Wit it' defense is indeed legit. Who the hell is your D.C? Rex Ryan?..lol
Good game Holy. HB Dante Gale and LB Laquatious Shariff are basically a 2 headed Fire breathing Dragon.
 
Kwill-bot
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GG Gangsta. You've got some really well built toons.
 
glwarriors
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GG Stunners - it was an honor to be ahead at halftime.
 
TxSteve
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Originally posted by glwarriors
GG Stunners - it was an honor to be ahead at halftime.


If it's any consolation- you're the first team to cause my trailing offense to kick in ...ever
 
kHarmaKillz
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Hahaha.. Wish I had write-ups like this in my league.

Anyways, GO LAPAZ!!!!!!!!!
 
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