So the playoffs are upon us. Now is the winter of our discontent. Made glorious summer by this season of ball; and all the clouds that lour'd upon our field in the deep bosoms of the cheerleaders. Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths; our bruised arms hung up for monuments; our stern alarums changed to merry meetings; our dreadful cornerbacks to delightful quarterbacks. Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front; and now, instead of mounting pads and helmets to fright the souls of fearful adversaries, we caper nimbly in the locker room to the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
#10 Denver Nightmares vs #7 Alaska Assassins
After getting screwed like the homecoming queen in the back of the starting quarterback's dad's convertible on Homecoming by being forced to play a seasoned team a couple games ago, Denver has fought back into the top ten. So welcome back Nightmares. With luck you'll actually only have to play games you have a chance to win.
Like this game. These are two fairly even teams. They are also both the rarest of the rare for rookies, balanced teams. While both skew slightly to passing, they both have respectable running games to go with. If you're a fan of simball who wants to see a whole variety of offense, this is the game for you. Pity someone has to lose.
Alaska 24 - Denver 20
#9 HOLY DIAPER FILLING! vs #14 Pawnee Goddesses
Let me begin by saying I'm never going to forgive the Syndicate and their Capital Wastelanders team for not knocking DIAPER FILLING out of the top 10. This is not because I dislike any of the players on DIAPER FILLING!, it's just I get nauseous thinking about green slime being fed to poor, unsuspecting people who don't know enough to realize how vile that stuff is.
Unfortunately, I don't think DIAPER FILLING! is going to go away after this game either. While looking at the matchup might lead one to believe the Pawnee are the better team, the reality is that matchups only show league, not ladder stats, and Pawnee plays in one of the worst leagues in the game. That means I'm pretty sure Pawnee is going to end up looking like diaper filling as DIAPER FILLING! runs all over them.
HOLY 38 - Pawnee 10
#8 Lincoln City Red Imps vs #5 Nigerian My Little Ponies
So another game comes along, and I'm still not hearing any good bribe attempts by Pixie Pie's Stalkers. You'd think the Twilight Sparkle's would want me to pick them to lose, and I've made it clear I can be bought. Apparently the Applejack Off's think that somehow they can beat me at this game. Well, those Rainbow Dash-ing fools have another thing coming. Until they quit being all Fluttershy about 'gifts' for me, any more wins for them is definitely going to be a Rarity.
Anyway, Lincoln City is going to run all over them. I really don't think the My Little Ponies have much of a chance in this game, and yet...
My Little Ponies 10000 - Red Imps 0
#6 Victorious Secret - #3 All Madden
Apparently you can only take so many steel chairs to the head before your team starts to suffer. Poor All Madden dropped to #3. Not because they are #3, but just because the Jesse Venturas have gotten much better than everyone else in the rookie ladder. This is unfortunate for Victorious since it means All Madden is free to play someone new this time.
I've given some thought to why Victorious cannot quite break into the top and stay there even though they have one of the best overall coaching staffs in GLB2. And I've come to the conclusion it's because they have Galithor trying to coach a running team, and Adderfist with a title other than Defensive Coordinator. The world doesn't like being out of balance, and as long as Victorious refuses to accept the way things are supposed to be, they're never going to be #1.
All Madden 13 - Victorious 3
#4 Baby BULLIES vs #2 1995 Nebraska Future Convicts.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
This is going to be hysterical (except for drake and SoggyTaco). A team that prides itself on it's supposedly awesome defense getting run over by the Mack truck that is Nebraska's running game.
Nebraska 54 - BULLIES 10
#1 Jesse Venturas vs #122 YMCA Seniors
I really should list this game as #193 Venturas vs #200 YMCA since that's how the match got made. Like so many rookie teams this season, the Jesse Venturas get stuck playing a seasoned team. Only unlike the other rookies who were given this "honor", at least the Venturas have a chance.
YMCA is inactive as is a significant chunk of their roster. On top of that, they have a bunch of sophomores on their roster rather than all seasoned. It's going to be interesting to see if that's enough to offset the inherent advantage of two extra seasons of player development. But, if there is any rookie team that can pull it off, it's the Jesse Ventura's.
Jesse Venturas 13 - YMCA 10
#10 Denver Nightmares vs #7 Alaska Assassins
After getting screwed like the homecoming queen in the back of the starting quarterback's dad's convertible on Homecoming by being forced to play a seasoned team a couple games ago, Denver has fought back into the top ten. So welcome back Nightmares. With luck you'll actually only have to play games you have a chance to win.
Like this game. These are two fairly even teams. They are also both the rarest of the rare for rookies, balanced teams. While both skew slightly to passing, they both have respectable running games to go with. If you're a fan of simball who wants to see a whole variety of offense, this is the game for you. Pity someone has to lose.
Alaska 24 - Denver 20
#9 HOLY DIAPER FILLING! vs #14 Pawnee Goddesses
Let me begin by saying I'm never going to forgive the Syndicate and their Capital Wastelanders team for not knocking DIAPER FILLING out of the top 10. This is not because I dislike any of the players on DIAPER FILLING!, it's just I get nauseous thinking about green slime being fed to poor, unsuspecting people who don't know enough to realize how vile that stuff is.
Unfortunately, I don't think DIAPER FILLING! is going to go away after this game either. While looking at the matchup might lead one to believe the Pawnee are the better team, the reality is that matchups only show league, not ladder stats, and Pawnee plays in one of the worst leagues in the game. That means I'm pretty sure Pawnee is going to end up looking like diaper filling as DIAPER FILLING! runs all over them.
HOLY 38 - Pawnee 10
#8 Lincoln City Red Imps vs #5 Nigerian My Little Ponies
So another game comes along, and I'm still not hearing any good bribe attempts by Pixie Pie's Stalkers. You'd think the Twilight Sparkle's would want me to pick them to lose, and I've made it clear I can be bought. Apparently the Applejack Off's think that somehow they can beat me at this game. Well, those Rainbow Dash-ing fools have another thing coming. Until they quit being all Fluttershy about 'gifts' for me, any more wins for them is definitely going to be a Rarity.
Anyway, Lincoln City is going to run all over them. I really don't think the My Little Ponies have much of a chance in this game, and yet...
My Little Ponies 10000 - Red Imps 0
#6 Victorious Secret - #3 All Madden
Apparently you can only take so many steel chairs to the head before your team starts to suffer. Poor All Madden dropped to #3. Not because they are #3, but just because the Jesse Venturas have gotten much better than everyone else in the rookie ladder. This is unfortunate for Victorious since it means All Madden is free to play someone new this time.
I've given some thought to why Victorious cannot quite break into the top and stay there even though they have one of the best overall coaching staffs in GLB2. And I've come to the conclusion it's because they have Galithor trying to coach a running team, and Adderfist with a title other than Defensive Coordinator. The world doesn't like being out of balance, and as long as Victorious refuses to accept the way things are supposed to be, they're never going to be #1.
All Madden 13 - Victorious 3
#4 Baby BULLIES vs #2 1995 Nebraska Future Convicts.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
This is going to be hysterical (except for drake and SoggyTaco). A team that prides itself on it's supposedly awesome defense getting run over by the Mack truck that is Nebraska's running game.
Nebraska 54 - BULLIES 10
#1 Jesse Venturas vs #122 YMCA Seniors
I really should list this game as #193 Venturas vs #200 YMCA since that's how the match got made. Like so many rookie teams this season, the Jesse Venturas get stuck playing a seasoned team. Only unlike the other rookies who were given this "honor", at least the Venturas have a chance.
YMCA is inactive as is a significant chunk of their roster. On top of that, they have a bunch of sophomores on their roster rather than all seasoned. It's going to be interesting to see if that's enough to offset the inherent advantage of two extra seasons of player development. But, if there is any rookie team that can pull it off, it's the Jesse Ventura's.
Jesse Venturas 13 - YMCA 10
.....My Brain Hurts after reading this
