Warrior General Games

Sources say that with the recent release of the D3 clothing line that there have been a number of injuries and deaths among teen's who have been "Dirt Diggling", a craze related to the nickname of an Africa Conference running back.

Cities where the phenonom have seen the worst Dirt Diggling injuries and deaths are acting quickly to enact laws to make the practice a crime.

Football writers wonder how this will affect D3's performance. With no ability to relieve his anxiety while warming up on the field due to field turf being mandated at many stadiums, many fans and writers are concerned about his ability to finish the season.

The White House today released a statement that they are forming a task force to draft laws that will help parents keep their children from "diggling dirt", as it has been proven to lead to lead to serious injury and possibly death.

Is a ban on natural grass fields looming?

As an agent that has two players under the employ of the Comoros Crocodiles I highly doubt natural grass will be banned. D3 casts a big shadow in Africa. My players tell me his influence goes all the way to the national level as far as the government is concerned. I was able to find a quote from Comoros's President (Ahmed Abdallah M. Sambi) regarding the issue, "Dirt diggling should only be done by expert digglers. Natural grass will remain at Crocodiles Stadium. D3 is in no way responsible for the recent injuries and deaths. We support Dirty and his diggling. Go Crocs!"

Headline Reporter Tracy Lovejuice caught up with the man, the myth, the legend himself "Dirty" Dirt Diggler to gather his thoughts of this breaking headline.

The Two sit down for and indepth interview

((LoveJuice))
"It's good to finally meet you Mr.Diggler. Can I call you Dirt or should I refer to you as your fans do and call you D3."

((D3))
"You can call me whatever you want to baby, just dont call me after tonight cuz I never remind names." Diggler chuckles and grins at the lady reporter.

((Lovejuice))
"What are your thoughts of all this Dirt Diggling that has been occuring and a possible ban being discussed?"

Diggler grins

((D3))
"Laws, Balls, it won't happen! People have been Dirt Diggling before their was a Dirty Diggs. Now I heard some people refer to it as the new Aids inside Africa, but truth be told a few deaths here and there never hurt anyone!"

((Lovejuice))
"Well I guess that would be a matter of opinion, depending on who you are and who is doing the dieing."

((D3))
"People die baby, Hell D3 Has been killing people on the football field for decades. All this will blow away kind of like the wind blows and kind like you could be blowing tonight if you dig what im saying!"

Lovejuice stares blankly at the African superstar as her face stars to slightly turn redish.

((Lovejuice))
"Well you heard it first, Here on GLB News, Im Tracy Lovejuice, signing off!"

The two get up and press against each other in a hugging motion. The camera remains on. As the two continue to talk voices can be heard from the studio urging for the camera to switch to a different segment.

((D3))
"How about we go to my place and smoke a fat one while the diggs slaps dat ass trick!"

The young reporter is seen rubbing her hand across the chest of the football star as the camera fades.