It's week 4......TONIGHT!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQSxwzOngMU
That's right my fellow chuckle heads, week 4 is upon us and 1/4 of the season is done and gone!
If you haven't started winning by now, you probably should face the fact that you just might suck.
But there is still enough time to make a turn around with 12 games to go!
Financial News
Well the Sport's Page just isn't about all sports, it covers the whole gamut of emotions and topics.
So we here at the Sport's Page care about you, the reader, and these financially troubling times. We can't count on the Fed, we can't count on the dollar, we can't count on the great idea of a gov bail out either.
So who can you count on? Why the great advice of the Sport's Page and GLB, that's who!
Let's take a quick looksie at the best places to invest your hard earned $$$ and which places to stay away from, shall we?
In Alpha...........................
Think about buying some stock in the East St Louis Tire Fires. They are usually a solid bet and if they can get past the Gurupies intact, they should be going on a very long destructive tear throughout Alpha.
On the flip side, you might think about dumping any investment you have in the Graz Grizzlies. They have yet to win a game and from what I hear, they are going to be selling the Grizzlies to an experimental lab where they do animal testing for a cosmetic company. They should be treated humanely.
In Zeta..............................
You might buy some stock in So Cal, a nice little company with a strong portfolio and based in sunny CA. Their only loss was a very close one and they just knocked off Moose Jaw and with Sofia up next, things are lookin' good in sunny So Cal.
It is probably the smartest thing you ever did to drop any stock in Machu Picchu. They are getting blown away game after game after game after game nd there may be no end in sight. Save the stock if you run out of toilet paper.
SA's Player of the Week
And the POW goes to.....................
Chocolate Blaze QB Teabag McJorts! Yay!
Teabag threw for 361 yards and 4 TD passes to help his team get the win over East St Louis in a GOW shootout!
3 of those TD passes came in a wild 4th quarter and kept the blaze ahead of the Tire Fires to secure the victory.
So here's to you, Teabag McJorts..............................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Warsteiner_4a9ec543d47f2.jpg
Legend has it that Julius Caesar's last words were.....................
..............................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0) LW1 - Who doesn't love chocolate?
Those dam Explo[/DURF]'s, that's who.
Time to defend the title again.
Next opponent: #6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1)
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) L3 - Do your talking in the GOW!
Next opponent: at #4 NBA Jam (2-1)
#3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0) LW5 - Major battle for you Gurupies. The Tire Fires are looking to get back in the top 4 where tey belong and you guys are in the way.
So don't just hold the door open for them, go douse the fires and move on to 4-0.
Next opponent: #8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1)
#4 NBA Jam (2-1) LW7 - It's the GOW for you guys!
Next opponent: #2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0)
#5 Providence Radicals (2-1) LW9 - A win here could mean a top 4 rank and chicks love a top 4 team.
My advice: If you win, prepare to get laid.
Next opponent: at #9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1)
#6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1) LW11 - Here's a great chance for the Explo[/DURF] to make everyone know their name, if anyone understands the team name, that is.
Next opponent: at #1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0)
#7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1) LW12 - Normally I would say that a chicken has no chance against a rhino, but these aren't just any chickens.
These are like those spicy 5 alarm wings you get at Buffalo Wild Wings.
The Rhino's better make sure they got some milk handy.
Next opponent: at #11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2)
#8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1) LW2 - Holy dog balls! You guys gave it your all in that one.
SALUTE!!!
You did come up short, but I can't wait for the post season re-match.
So you want back in the top 4? Knock off Indy and we'll share a hooker and a 6-pack over it. Your treat, of course.
Next opponent: at #3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0)
#9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1) LW4 - How you lost to Queen City I'll never know, but to make up for it you'll have to knock off the Radicals.
No easy task there, but if you can get back to playing like you did against Sparta you just might get the W.
Next opponent: #5 Providence Radicals (2-1)
#10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2) LW14 - .................................I'm sorry, every time I think of a Black Cat, this comes to mind.................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/halle-berry-cat-woman.jpg
.................meow, Ms Berry, meow.
Next opponent: at #13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2)
#11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2) LW6 - You guys will have to do battle with the Battle Chickens to get back on track and these chickens came to play..............
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/battle_chicken.jpg
Next opponent: #7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1)
#12 October Wildfire (1-2) LW8 - If you want to break into the top 8 you will have to start beating some good teams, La Tourette isn't one of the greats but the win will help you get back on track for sure.
Next opponent: #14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2)
#13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2) LW10 - This is a prime opportunity to get back to .500 and start heading to a playoff spot.
If not, I'd say drop the wife and run off with the first hot Asian bikini babe you come across.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/lyn4.jpg
Next opponent: #10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2)
#14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2) LW13 - Alright, settle down and quit shouting things at random...............oops, sorry, I forgot.........Tourettes.
But anyway, get back to winning in a hurry. This is a game you have a chance at and you can't get too far behind so early or you guys will be sent to a new medical facility where they know how to treat Tourettes.............the Hot Chick Lounge.
Next opponent: at #12 October Wildfire (1-2)
#15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3) LW15 - Do you really want to be the 0-4 team in Alpha?
If not.................win.
Next opponent: #16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3)
#16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3) LW16 - Your battle cry should be "Their ass is Graz!"
You guys have a legit shot at a win this week.
Wouldn't your mommy's be so proud of their motorcycle riding demon spawn if they won their first game of the season?
I think so.
Next opponent: at #15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3)
*****WEEK 4 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 7-1 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 19-5
SA’s GOW: 3-0
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3) at #15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3) = Graz Grizzlies
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2) at #12 October Wildfire (1-2) = La Tourette Syndrome
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2) at #13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2) = Queen City Black Cats
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#5 Providence Radicals (2-1) at #9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1) = Providence Radicals
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1) at #11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2) = Sparta Battle Chickens
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) at #4 NBA Jam (2-1) = Warsaw Wrath
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1) at #3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0) = East St Louis Tire Fires
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1) at #1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0) = Chocolate Blaze
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) at #4 NBA Jam (2-1) -
When mother nature created these teams she knew they would be fierce rivals and life long enemies.
Mother Nature, she's one crafty bitch.
The Wrath are #2 and looking to go undefeated into week 4!
The only way to get there goes through the NBA Jam!
The Jam'ers are #4 and a win here would definitely put them up for a #2 slot, if they don't fuck it up!
The NBA Jam have the power of Super Nintendo on their side!
The Warsaw Wrath are just really pissed off!
It's time to find out who's heating up and who is burned out.
Yo Bort! Let's hit the reset button and get this one simmin' already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Wrath beat the Jam?
8 Ball's answer: Signs point to yes.
SA's Pick: Warsaw Wrath
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Warsaw Wrath
29/48 beers! – We have four beer worthy games to look out for this week!
Yay!
First, the Radicals take on the Garudas as both teams look to move into the top 4!
Second, we have the Tire Fires taking on the Gurupies as ESL looks to get back into the top 4 and Indy tries to remain undefeated!
Third, we got the [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] doing battle with the Blaze as the Blaze try to stay #! and the Explo[/DURF] go for the top 4!
And finally in the GOW it's the Warsaw Wrath going against the NBA Jam! This one has bloody undies written all over it!
I know what you're thinking, "But SA, this is just way too much for me too handle!"
That's exactly what the Laker's told my ex and she came out of it lookin' like a champ.............................that slut.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Valhalla (3-0) LW1 - .....................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............................huh? wha?....................the Feeble Minds?...........
Wake me up when you guys play a real game..........................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............................
Next opponent: #14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3)
#2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1) LW3 - There you go, a big W over Machu Picchu gets you to 2-1 and a #2 ranking puts a huge target on your backs.
Maybe those ancient scrolls and texts you get the prophecy from will tell you how long it will be before you start losing. Week 5, maybe?
Next opponent: #11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2)
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) LW4 - You guys played well in your first GOW. Now you have to go back there again, but not as a virgin this time, but as a GOW slut.
Next opponent: at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1)
#4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1) LW6 - Score one for the American auto industry!! You guys took down the supposedly superior German engineering and showed that luxury and style and a great factory sound system is the only thing that matters, not MPG, reliability or stupid safety features.
Great win.
Next opponent: at #8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1)
#5 Dakar Dragons (2-1) LW7 - Battle of the Dragons!
Not really, the other "Dragons" failed to show up this season, so you guys will be playing their replacements..........................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/barney_and_friends-10880.gif
Next opponent: #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3)
#6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) LW8 - GOW! GOW! GOW!
Next opponent: #3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1)
#7 So Cal BDC (2-1) LW9 - Well you guys sure went through Moose Jaw in a hurry. You must have wanted to get back to sunny CA real soon.
Was it the surf?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/surfing-shark-scare.jpg
The sun?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/hawaiisunset.jpg
or some California fun?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/2763421787_c5e1ca4eba.jpg
Next opponent: #13 Sofia Spiders (0-3)
#8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1) LW10 - Well, I ain't gonna' lie to you.....................unless you're a woman, but you got your work cut out for you before we hit the half way mark of the season.
Lincoln, C-Town, SoCal and MoD all on the list before week 8?
Good luck with that shit.
Next opponent: #4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1)
#9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1) LW2 - Way to call it and make me eat my post...............
Originally posted by dimmy finster
Great Work! So Cal is a legendary team though and I think they're going to beat Moose Jaw through superior coaching.
But at least you guys aren't laying down like another low rated team I know. (see #16 in Zeta)
Next opponent: at #10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2)
#10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2) LW5 - Need a little motivation for this one?
You guys need to win to get back to .500 and into the race or it will be over before it started.
Remember this guy............................
http://i45.tinypic.com/29n8hl4.jpg
Next opponent: #9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1)
#11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2) LW11 - What the hell kinda' smugglers are you guys?
You get busted and thrown in jail for smuggling twice in a row and now the Prophecy is up next.
Well, looks like it's back to jail and 1-3.
Next opponent: at #2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1)
#12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2) LW12 - This game should even you up at 2-2, if you can't win here we will change your name from Dynamo to Die-now.
Next opponent: #15 Korb Destroyers (0-3)
#13 Sofia Spiders (0-3) LW13 - ..............6......................
Next opponent: at #7 So Cal BDC (2-1)
#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3) LW14 - Well, give it the old college try in College Town this week.
Valhalla is up next and they are looking to go 4-0.
Looks like they will do it, too.
Next opponent: at #1Valhalla (3-0)
#15 Korb Destroyers (0-3) LW15 - OK Korb, I don't know how you are going to do it, but you have to start winning or it will be a 4-way race for the doors of the Hot Chick Lounge real soon.
The Dynamo are next, so try to live up to your name.
Next opponent: at #12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2)
#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3) LW16 - Well, Macho Peko, you guys are so close to receiving the first invitation to the Hot Chick Lounge of season 15.
It's not really an honor, but it's much better than watching you guys try to play dotball this season.
Here's a little preview of a Hidden Dragon in the Hot Chick Lounge.....................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Barney.jpg
Next opponent: at #5 Dakar Dragons (2-1)
*****WEEK 4 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 4-4 Week 2: 4-4 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 14-10
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1) at #8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1) = Lincoln Navigators
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) = Minneapolis Masterminds
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1) at #10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2) at #2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1) =Mayan Prophecy
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#13 Sofia Spiders (0-3)at #7 So Cal BDC (2-1) = So Cal BDC
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3) at #1Valhalla (3-0)= Valhalla
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#15 Korb Destroyers (0-3) at #12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2) = Bonn Dynamo
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3) at #5 Dakar Dragons (2-1) = Dakar Dragons
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) -
MM vs MoD!!!
Masterminds vs Ministry!
If the Ministry wins, then it's a jump in the ranks!
If the Masterminds win, then the Ministry sucks!
It's as simple as that!
Two teams that profess to be dotball's best go at it tonight in Thunder Dome!
Tonight's match will be a test of brute strength against mental cunning!
So let's make this one a WoW match!
World of Warcraft?
No, no, no, I mean a World of Whackin' Match!
Te first sick individual for his team to actually get a boner and whack to "2 Girls 1 Cup", "Horse vs She-Male" and "Midget Bang 500", WINS!
Viagra is not allowed.
You have to be one sick individual to go through all three, but I know there are some on these teams.
Yo Bort! Let's get this party sim'd already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Masterminds beat the Ministry?
8 Ball's answer: It is decidedly so.
SA's Pick: Minneapolis Masterminds
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Minneapolis Masterminds
23/48 beers! – There are 2 games worthy of this week's beer to stay tuned for.
The Navigator's go for 2 wins in a row as they take on the Cincinnati Shockers, who are looking to move up into a top 4 spot!
Then the Masterminds take on the Ministry of Dotball in an epic struggle of man vs machine! Well not really, but that would be really cool though. Kind of like a Terminator movie.
Team's in Zeta are log jammed at 2-1 and there is no room for a losing streak right now!
Get your work done and head straight home, the beer is cold and the computer is all warmed up and ready for some GLB action!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQSxwzOngMU
That's right my fellow chuckle heads, week 4 is upon us and 1/4 of the season is done and gone!
If you haven't started winning by now, you probably should face the fact that you just might suck.
But there is still enough time to make a turn around with 12 games to go!
Financial News
Well the Sport's Page just isn't about all sports, it covers the whole gamut of emotions and topics.
So we here at the Sport's Page care about you, the reader, and these financially troubling times. We can't count on the Fed, we can't count on the dollar, we can't count on the great idea of a gov bail out either.
So who can you count on? Why the great advice of the Sport's Page and GLB, that's who!
Let's take a quick looksie at the best places to invest your hard earned $$$ and which places to stay away from, shall we?
In Alpha...........................
Think about buying some stock in the East St Louis Tire Fires. They are usually a solid bet and if they can get past the Gurupies intact, they should be going on a very long destructive tear throughout Alpha.
On the flip side, you might think about dumping any investment you have in the Graz Grizzlies. They have yet to win a game and from what I hear, they are going to be selling the Grizzlies to an experimental lab where they do animal testing for a cosmetic company. They should be treated humanely.
In Zeta..............................
You might buy some stock in So Cal, a nice little company with a strong portfolio and based in sunny CA. Their only loss was a very close one and they just knocked off Moose Jaw and with Sofia up next, things are lookin' good in sunny So Cal.
It is probably the smartest thing you ever did to drop any stock in Machu Picchu. They are getting blown away game after game after game after game nd there may be no end in sight. Save the stock if you run out of toilet paper.
SA's Player of the Week
And the POW goes to.....................
Chocolate Blaze QB Teabag McJorts! Yay!
Teabag threw for 361 yards and 4 TD passes to help his team get the win over East St Louis in a GOW shootout!
3 of those TD passes came in a wild 4th quarter and kept the blaze ahead of the Tire Fires to secure the victory.
So here's to you, Teabag McJorts..............................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Warsteiner_4a9ec543d47f2.jpg
Legend has it that Julius Caesar's last words were.....................
..............................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0) LW1 - Who doesn't love chocolate?
Those dam Explo[/DURF]'s, that's who.
Time to defend the title again.
Next opponent: #6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1)
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) L3 - Do your talking in the GOW!
Next opponent: at #4 NBA Jam (2-1)
#3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0) LW5 - Major battle for you Gurupies. The Tire Fires are looking to get back in the top 4 where tey belong and you guys are in the way.
So don't just hold the door open for them, go douse the fires and move on to 4-0.
Next opponent: #8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1)
#4 NBA Jam (2-1) LW7 - It's the GOW for you guys!
Next opponent: #2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0)
#5 Providence Radicals (2-1) LW9 - A win here could mean a top 4 rank and chicks love a top 4 team.
My advice: If you win, prepare to get laid.
Next opponent: at #9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1)
#6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1) LW11 - Here's a great chance for the Explo[/DURF] to make everyone know their name, if anyone understands the team name, that is.
Next opponent: at #1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0)
#7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1) LW12 - Normally I would say that a chicken has no chance against a rhino, but these aren't just any chickens.
These are like those spicy 5 alarm wings you get at Buffalo Wild Wings.
The Rhino's better make sure they got some milk handy.
Next opponent: at #11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2)
#8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1) LW2 - Holy dog balls! You guys gave it your all in that one.
SALUTE!!!
You did come up short, but I can't wait for the post season re-match.
So you want back in the top 4? Knock off Indy and we'll share a hooker and a 6-pack over it. Your treat, of course.
Next opponent: at #3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0)
#9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1) LW4 - How you lost to Queen City I'll never know, but to make up for it you'll have to knock off the Radicals.
No easy task there, but if you can get back to playing like you did against Sparta you just might get the W.
Next opponent: #5 Providence Radicals (2-1)
#10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2) LW14 - .................................I'm sorry, every time I think of a Black Cat, this comes to mind.................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/halle-berry-cat-woman.jpg
.................meow, Ms Berry, meow.
Next opponent: at #13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2)
#11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2) LW6 - You guys will have to do battle with the Battle Chickens to get back on track and these chickens came to play..............
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/battle_chicken.jpg
Next opponent: #7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1)
#12 October Wildfire (1-2) LW8 - If you want to break into the top 8 you will have to start beating some good teams, La Tourette isn't one of the greats but the win will help you get back on track for sure.
Next opponent: #14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2)
#13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2) LW10 - This is a prime opportunity to get back to .500 and start heading to a playoff spot.
If not, I'd say drop the wife and run off with the first hot Asian bikini babe you come across.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/lyn4.jpg
Next opponent: #10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2)
#14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2) LW13 - Alright, settle down and quit shouting things at random...............oops, sorry, I forgot.........Tourettes.
But anyway, get back to winning in a hurry. This is a game you have a chance at and you can't get too far behind so early or you guys will be sent to a new medical facility where they know how to treat Tourettes.............the Hot Chick Lounge.
Next opponent: at #12 October Wildfire (1-2)
#15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3) LW15 - Do you really want to be the 0-4 team in Alpha?
If not.................win.
Next opponent: #16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3)
#16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3) LW16 - Your battle cry should be "Their ass is Graz!"
You guys have a legit shot at a win this week.
Wouldn't your mommy's be so proud of their motorcycle riding demon spawn if they won their first game of the season?
I think so.
Next opponent: at #15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3)
*****WEEK 4 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 7-1 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 19-5
SA’s GOW: 3-0
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#16 Ghost Riders In The Sky (0-3) at #15 Graz Grizzlies (0-3) = Graz Grizzlies
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 La Tourette Syndrome (1-2) at #12 October Wildfire (1-2) = La Tourette Syndrome
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#10 Queen City Black Cats (1-2) at #13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-2) = Queen City Black Cats
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#5 Providence Radicals (2-1) at #9 Krungthep Garudas (2-1) = Providence Radicals
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#7 Sparta Battle Chickens (2-1) at #11 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-2) = Sparta Battle Chickens
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) at #4 NBA Jam (2-1) = Warsaw Wrath
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#8 East St Louis Tire Fires (2-1) at #3 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-0) = East St Louis Tire Fires
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-1) at #1 Chocolate Blaze (3-0) = Chocolate Blaze
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#2 Warsaw Wrath (3-0) at #4 NBA Jam (2-1) -
When mother nature created these teams she knew they would be fierce rivals and life long enemies.
Mother Nature, she's one crafty bitch.
The Wrath are #2 and looking to go undefeated into week 4!
The only way to get there goes through the NBA Jam!
The Jam'ers are #4 and a win here would definitely put them up for a #2 slot, if they don't fuck it up!
The NBA Jam have the power of Super Nintendo on their side!
The Warsaw Wrath are just really pissed off!
It's time to find out who's heating up and who is burned out.
Yo Bort! Let's hit the reset button and get this one simmin' already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Wrath beat the Jam?
8 Ball's answer: Signs point to yes.
SA's Pick: Warsaw Wrath
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Warsaw Wrath
29/48 beers! – We have four beer worthy games to look out for this week!
Yay!
First, the Radicals take on the Garudas as both teams look to move into the top 4!
Second, we have the Tire Fires taking on the Gurupies as ESL looks to get back into the top 4 and Indy tries to remain undefeated!
Third, we got the [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] doing battle with the Blaze as the Blaze try to stay #! and the Explo[/DURF] go for the top 4!
And finally in the GOW it's the Warsaw Wrath going against the NBA Jam! This one has bloody undies written all over it!
I know what you're thinking, "But SA, this is just way too much for me too handle!"
That's exactly what the Laker's told my ex and she came out of it lookin' like a champ.............................that slut.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Valhalla (3-0) LW1 - .....................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............................huh? wha?....................the Feeble Minds?...........
Wake me up when you guys play a real game..........................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............................
Next opponent: #14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3)
#2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1) LW3 - There you go, a big W over Machu Picchu gets you to 2-1 and a #2 ranking puts a huge target on your backs.
Maybe those ancient scrolls and texts you get the prophecy from will tell you how long it will be before you start losing. Week 5, maybe?
Next opponent: #11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2)
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) LW4 - You guys played well in your first GOW. Now you have to go back there again, but not as a virgin this time, but as a GOW slut.
Next opponent: at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1)
#4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1) LW6 - Score one for the American auto industry!! You guys took down the supposedly superior German engineering and showed that luxury and style and a great factory sound system is the only thing that matters, not MPG, reliability or stupid safety features.
Great win.
Next opponent: at #8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1)
#5 Dakar Dragons (2-1) LW7 - Battle of the Dragons!
Not really, the other "Dragons" failed to show up this season, so you guys will be playing their replacements..........................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/barney_and_friends-10880.gif
Next opponent: #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3)
#6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) LW8 - GOW! GOW! GOW!
Next opponent: #3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1)
#7 So Cal BDC (2-1) LW9 - Well you guys sure went through Moose Jaw in a hurry. You must have wanted to get back to sunny CA real soon.
Was it the surf?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/surfing-shark-scare.jpg
The sun?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/hawaiisunset.jpg
or some California fun?
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/2763421787_c5e1ca4eba.jpg
Next opponent: #13 Sofia Spiders (0-3)
#8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1) LW10 - Well, I ain't gonna' lie to you.....................unless you're a woman, but you got your work cut out for you before we hit the half way mark of the season.
Lincoln, C-Town, SoCal and MoD all on the list before week 8?
Good luck with that shit.
Next opponent: #4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1)
#9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1) LW2 - Way to call it and make me eat my post...............
Originally posted by dimmy finster
Great Work! So Cal is a legendary team though and I think they're going to beat Moose Jaw through superior coaching.
But at least you guys aren't laying down like another low rated team I know. (see #16 in Zeta)
Next opponent: at #10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2)
#10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2) LW5 - Need a little motivation for this one?
You guys need to win to get back to .500 and into the race or it will be over before it started.
Remember this guy............................
http://i45.tinypic.com/29n8hl4.jpg
Next opponent: #9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1)
#11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2) LW11 - What the hell kinda' smugglers are you guys?
You get busted and thrown in jail for smuggling twice in a row and now the Prophecy is up next.
Well, looks like it's back to jail and 1-3.
Next opponent: at #2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1)
#12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2) LW12 - This game should even you up at 2-2, if you can't win here we will change your name from Dynamo to Die-now.
Next opponent: #15 Korb Destroyers (0-3)
#13 Sofia Spiders (0-3) LW13 - ..............6......................
Next opponent: at #7 So Cal BDC (2-1)
#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3) LW14 - Well, give it the old college try in College Town this week.
Valhalla is up next and they are looking to go 4-0.
Looks like they will do it, too.
Next opponent: at #1Valhalla (3-0)
#15 Korb Destroyers (0-3) LW15 - OK Korb, I don't know how you are going to do it, but you have to start winning or it will be a 4-way race for the doors of the Hot Chick Lounge real soon.
The Dynamo are next, so try to live up to your name.
Next opponent: at #12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2)
#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3) LW16 - Well, Macho Peko, you guys are so close to receiving the first invitation to the Hot Chick Lounge of season 15.
It's not really an honor, but it's much better than watching you guys try to play dotball this season.
Here's a little preview of a Hidden Dragon in the Hot Chick Lounge.....................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Barney.jpg
Next opponent: at #5 Dakar Dragons (2-1)
*****WEEK 4 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 4-4 Week 2: 4-4 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 14-10
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#4 Lincoln Navigators (2-1) at #8 Cincinnati Shockers (2-1) = Lincoln Navigators
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) = Minneapolis Masterminds
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#9 Moose Jaw Roughriders (2-1) at #10 C-Town Hoodlums (1-2) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (1-2) at #2 Mayan Prophecy (2-1) =Mayan Prophecy
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#13 Sofia Spiders (0-3)at #7 So Cal BDC (2-1) = So Cal BDC
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-3) at #1Valhalla (3-0)= Valhalla
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#15 Korb Destroyers (0-3) at #12 Bonn Dynamo (1-2) = Bonn Dynamo
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-3) at #5 Dakar Dragons (2-1) = Dakar Dragons
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (2-1) at #6 Ministry of Dotball (2-1) -
MM vs MoD!!!
Masterminds vs Ministry!
If the Ministry wins, then it's a jump in the ranks!
If the Masterminds win, then the Ministry sucks!
It's as simple as that!
Two teams that profess to be dotball's best go at it tonight in Thunder Dome!
Tonight's match will be a test of brute strength against mental cunning!
So let's make this one a WoW match!
World of Warcraft?
No, no, no, I mean a World of Whackin' Match!
Te first sick individual for his team to actually get a boner and whack to "2 Girls 1 Cup", "Horse vs She-Male" and "Midget Bang 500", WINS!
Viagra is not allowed.
You have to be one sick individual to go through all three, but I know there are some on these teams.
Yo Bort! Let's get this party sim'd already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Masterminds beat the Ministry?
8 Ball's answer: It is decidedly so.
SA's Pick: Minneapolis Masterminds
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Minneapolis Masterminds
23/48 beers! – There are 2 games worthy of this week's beer to stay tuned for.
The Navigator's go for 2 wins in a row as they take on the Cincinnati Shockers, who are looking to move up into a top 4 spot!
Then the Masterminds take on the Ministry of Dotball in an epic struggle of man vs machine! Well not really, but that would be really cool though. Kind of like a Terminator movie.
Team's in Zeta are log jammed at 2-1 and there is no room for a losing streak right now!
Get your work done and head straight home, the beer is cold and the computer is all warmed up and ready for some GLB action!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Apr 14, 2010 10:00:49
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Apr 13, 2010 18:40:18
