Warrior General Games

Welcome to week 15!
The playoffs are just about here and it is time to step up that game if you already haven’t!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdiWEmTpwCY


Well, I thought I would open up the mail bag one last time before the playoffs start up.
So, here we go………………….

From JRoyal, sitting in a pool of radiation in Chernobyl:
Originally posted by jroyal73
Nice Job SA... fuck that 8 ball
Yes.
Fuck that 8-Ball.

Here’s a PM from GreenDay4537 in Philadelphia. He writes in:
Originally posted by Greenday4537
Oooooohhhhh...whatcha doin later?
For the right amount of cash, any dream can come true.
I’m sick, I need help.

Jedaviso, who is stuck at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance in 1958, writes:
Dear SA,
Originally posted by jedaviso
Priceless.
We do better when you pick against Hill Valley.
GG Knossos.
I’ll remember that for the playoffs.

Meatbomb from Croatia writes in to us, saying:
Hey SA, first time writer, long time listener.
Originally posted by MeatBomb
Funny, your mom said you were the homo when I came on her face last night............
Awww dude! Next time tell me before I kiss my mother goodnight on the cheek!
I think I might hurl.

Another one from Hill valley says:
Originally posted by jedaviso
A growler (of beer) a day keeps everyone away.....
So does a double bean burrito.

Adamantenigma all the way from middle America writes in:
Originally posted by adamantenigma
We're going to start resting our starters, draft picks be damned!
Now that’s what I’m talking about! Great strategy A-man! Screw those draft picks!
Funky Bunch, on the other hand, dropped a lot of games so we could move up in the draft. I think that strategy will pay off for future seasons.

And Cryptotich from the Temple Mount writes in:
Originally posted by Cryptotich
I make no bones about me being a Free Mason.
A Free Mason? Really?
If you guys win the Pimp Cup, I am yelling "Conspiracy Theory!" and for Jesse Ventura to investigate!

And that ends another Reader Fan Mail session!


PLAYOFF BOUND!
Ok, so the playoffs are just right around the corner and there are a lot of things that need to happen for the last teams to get that #7 or #8 seeds. Some just need to win, others need other teams to lose, some just need a whole shit load of luck and praying to do to get into the playoffs.
Exciting shit if you like this type of stuff!
So here’s the weekly update of who is in and who is out.

This week we are proud to send invitations to the EE3A1 Super Happy Fun Fun Ass Kicking Gala Fiesta Playoff Tournament to:
The Purveyors Of Faith in Alpha and to the Kaunas Archangels and the Philadelphia Demonik in Zeta! Yay!
Congrats on fine seasons and good luck to you guys in the playoffs!
SALUTE!!

ALPHA
1) Sarajevo Black Hand
2) Ukraine Freight Train
3) Stirling Four Horsemen
4) Atlantis Whitecaps
5) Munich ManiAx
6) Purveyors Of Faith
7) ?
8) ?

ZETA
1) Chernobyl Aftermath
2) Jefferson City Bucks
3) Hill Valley Deloreans
4) Knossos Minotaurs
5) Kaunas Archangels
6) Philadelphia Demonik
7) ?
8) ?


The Rest of EE3A1!
This week we are proud to send invitations to the Hot Chick Lounge to:
The Lithuanian Lumberjacks in Alpha and to the Croatian Flesh eaters in Zeta!
Sorry fellas’, but we wish you the best of luck for next season and enjoy your stay in the Lounge.
SALUTE!!

ALPHA
1) Centennial Cougars
2) Liverpool Outlaws
3) Warsaw Warriors
4) Wildflecken Wolverines
5) Excellence Express X Factor
6) Lithuanian Lumberjacks
7) ?
8) ?

ZETA
1) Danzig Resurrected Bastards
2) Mombasa Wombats
3) Gamehendge Knights
4) Ostrava IRONMEN
5) Croatian Flesh Eaters
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?


The Right Guard, Right Way to Victory
Nobody said that being the best is easy. And the Black Hand/Four Horsemen game was no exception.
Although the Black Hand led the whole game, keeping them to a 17-12 score was pretty dam impressive!
But it was the Black Hand that fought off Stirling to win the game and keep their unbeaten record and their #1 ranking in place!
So congrats to the Sarajevo Black Hand for stepping up to win under pressure and taking the Right Way to Victory, brought to you by the good people at Right Guard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7alxEBpa4jI
SALUTE!!


SA's Player of the Week
Goes to .............................
Purveyor’s Of Faith HB, Tyler Hugh Lewis!
286 yards on 28 rushes! 4 TD’s! All this in a 3 point win over the Charioteers to keep the POF in place!
Great job, Mr. Huey Lewis!
So here’s to you Tyler Hugh Lewis………………………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/beer4.jpg
SALUTE!!


Who will be the last teams to make the big dance?
Who will be the unfortunate ones that don’t?
Who the hell carries around 99 Luftballoons with them?!?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gVFIqp0tjA
No more questions read the Sport’s Page and let’s get to it, chuckle heads!!


So picture this.........
You are with your wife or GF (or BF if you're Chad), you have a nice, romantic dinner. Then after you throw away the bucket and the bones you sit down on with her, you turn on some Barry White, then pour a glass of ripple for the two of you and you start to make out.
And just as you leave 2nd base and round 3rdx to head for home you jump up on the couch, tear off your clothes and at the top of your lungs you scream..............

……………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!


……they've done studies where 9 out of 10 dentist's agree that 65% of the time, this works EVERY time.



You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

*#1 Sarajevo Black Hand (14-0) LW1 - Get your asses to THUNDER DOME for this week’s GOW!!!
Good luck!
Next opponent: #2 Ukraine Freight Train (14-0)

*#2 Ukraine Freight Train (14-0) LW2 - Keep chugging that train straight to the GOW and THUNDER DOME!!!!!!
Good luck!
Next opponent: at #1 Sarajevo Black Hand (14-0)

*#3 Munich ManiAx (11-3) LW5 - To stay #3 for the playoffs the plan is very simple. Keep winning.
The Panthers might be a little easier than the POF, but you guys should be able to ewin both.
Next opponent: at #8 Ufa Panthers (7-7)

*#4 Atlantis Whitecaps (11-3) LW4 - If you want to keep that #4 spot, you may need to win both of their last 2 games. The Liverpool game should be no problem, but the Black Hand game may be more trouble, so put in some extra time for that one.
Next opponent: at #15 Liverpool Outlaws (1-13)

*#5 Stirling Four Horsemen (11-3) LW3 - Ok, so you’ve locked up at least the 5th seed, you can go no lower, but you still have a shot at the #4 seed and a home p[layoff game.
As long as you win both of your last games and Atlantis loses 1 of the last 2 games, then you can move up to that #4 spot.
The bad part is that either way at 4 or 5 you will prolly end up facing Atlantis anyway.
Next opponent: at #10 Texas Red Dragons (6-8)

*#6 Purveyors of Faith (9-5) LW6 - OK, you guys are in the post season fiesta.
So what are you playing for?
Well you can’t get any higher ranking than sixth, due to your W/L record.
So, to keep the #6 seed either win both of your last games or win 1 and hope the Funky bunch loses 1 of the last 2 games.
Next opponent: #14 Warsaw Warriors (2-12)

#7 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (8-6) LW7 - win this game and you guys are in the playoffs and will secure at least a #7 seed.
It’s the Cougars, so bring extra lubrication.
Next opponent: at #16 Centennial Cougars (0-14)

#8 Ufa Panthers (7-7) LW8 - Win just one of your last two games and you Panthers are heading towards the playoffs!
Don’t think about anything else except for winning one of your last two games!
Next opponent: #3 Munich ManiAx (11-3)

#9 Constantinople Charioteers (6-8) LW9 - So here’s the SitRep for the Charioteers.
You need to win both of your final two games.
Plus, you need the Ufa Panthers to lose both of their last 2 games or the Funky Bunch to lose their last 2 games.
If things go your way, you are going to the playoffs. If not, then you are just going away.
Next opponent: #11 Lithuanian Lumberjacks (5-9)

#10 Texas Red Dragons (6-8) LW11 - Well this could be it. If you want any chance you will need to win no matter who you are playing.
But the Four Horsemen may be the ones to slay the Red Dragon’s.
Next opponent: #5 Stirling Four Horsemen (11-3)

#11 Lithuanian Lumberjacks (5-9) LW10 - Time to put your chainsaws and axes away. It’s time to pack up your plaid shirts and overalls. Your season is now officially over. But you still have at least one win coming to you in the last game of the season, so you got something to look forward to.
Good luck next season.
Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/07Heather/Heather-13.jpg
Next opponent: at #9 Constantinople Charioteers (6-8)

#12 Excellence Express X Factor (3-11) LW12 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/06Lorabel/Lorabel-06.jpg
Next opponent: #13 Wildflecken Wolverines (2-12)

#13 Wildflecken Wolverines (2-12) LW13 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/09Kim/Kim-19.jpg
Next opponent: at #12 Excellence Express X Factor (3-11)

#14 Warsaw Warriors (2-12) LW14 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/11Mia/Mia-12.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Purveyors of Faith (9-5)

#15 Liverpool Outlaws (1-13) LW15 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/04Jen/Jen-18.jpg
Next opponent: #4 Atlantis Whitecaps (11-3)

#16 Centennial Cougars (0-14) LW16 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/06Stacey/Stacey-43.jpg
Next opponent: #7 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (8-6)


*****WEEK 15 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good.
In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1:5-3 Week 2: 8-0 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 7-1 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 8-0 Week 7: 8-0 Week 8: 7-1 Week 9: 6-2 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 7-1
Week 12: 8-0 week 13: 6-2 Week 14: 8-0

Overall: 98-14
SA’s GOW: 10-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 7-7


#2 Ukraine Freight Train (14-0) at #1 Sarajevo Black Hand (14-0) = Ukraine Freight Train
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#3 Munich ManiAx (11-3) at #8 Ufa Panthers (7-7) = Munich ManiAx
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#11 Lithuanian Lumberjacks (5-9) at #9 Constantinople Charioteers (6-8) = Constantinople Charioteers
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#13 Wildflecken Wolverines (2-12) at #12 Excellence Express X Factor (3-11) = Wildflecken Wolverines
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#14 Warsaw Warriors (2-12) at #6 Purveyors of Faith (9-5) = Purveyors of Faith
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#4 Atlantis Whitecaps (11-3) at #15 Liverpool Outlaws (1-13) = Atlantis Whitecaps
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#7 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (8-6) at #16 Centennial Cougars (0-14) = Banja Luka Funky Bunch
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#5 Stirling Four Horsemen (11-3) at #10 Texas Red Dragons (6-8) = Stirling Four Horsemen
Game Rating: 3/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#2 Ukraine Freight Train (14-0) at #1 Sarajevo Black Hand (14-0) -
Well here it is. THE biggest match up in the history of Alpha!
And you only find it here in the Sport’s Page!
You know where we have to send this one, say it with me everybody……
…….…..THUNDER DOME!!!
#1 vs #2!
Uno vs Dos! (Spanish, for you Hispanics)
Un vs Deux! (for our French speaking readers)
Uno vs Due! (Italian)
Um vs Dois! (Portuguese)
Ett vs Tva! (Swedish)
One vs Two! (for anyone that speaks English)
No matter what language, this is a huge match up!
The #1 ranking is at stake! Bragging rights are at stake! A nice, tender, rib-eye steak is at stake!
This is a Mega-Battle between two teams that just don’t like each other!
We’ve settled big games like this before in Thunder Dome by dance off’s, food fight’s, tickle fight’s, fashion shows and make out contests.
But we will just unleash these two teams, throw a hunk of meat in the center of the ring and whoever loses, goes hungry.
Only one theme song can capture the violence, mayhem and unbridled enthusiasm in this one! And that song is……………
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8
……..nothing better than 2 groups of thugs fighting over turf through the use of highly choreographed and impressive dance moves!
Good luck to the both of you!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Freight Train beat the Black Hand?
8 Ball's answer: Outlook good.
SA's Pick: Ukraine Freight Train
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Ukraine Freight Train

23/48 beers! – Look, I’m in a hurry to get to Thunder Dome, so drink a couple on the way there to the Panthers/ManiAx game and drink the rest at Thunder Dome to watch the Freight Train and Black Hand do battle for the top spot in all of Alpha!

Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!

____________________________________________________________________________


****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

*#1 Chernobyl Aftermath (14-0) LW1 - Take a cab to the GOW!!!
Good luck!
Next opponent: at #5 Kaunas Archangels (10-4)

*#2 Jefferson City Bucks (13-1) LW2 - This game shouldn’t be a problem for you guys, but the next game is the one to watch out for. Just do what you need to win so you can stay at the #2 spot for the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #13 Ostrava IRONMEN (4-10)

*#3 Hill Valley Deloreans (11-3) LW3 - It's very simple for you Deloreans, win and you stay in the Top 4 and keep your #3 seed for the playoffs. No better place to be than the Top 4 in the post season.
Next opponent: #11 Lefkada Sea Hawks (6-8)

*#4 Knossos Minotaurs (11-3) LW4 - Feel like being the team to close the book on another teams season?
Here’s your chance. The Gods Of War are the defending Pimp Cup champs and if you knock them out here, it will ensure a new champ is crowned this season.
It could be you.
Next opponent: #10 Warsaw Gods Of War (6-8)

*#5 Kaunas Archangels (10-4) LW5 - You’re in the GOW this week!!!
Good luck!
Next opponent: #1 Chernobyl Aftermath (14-0)

*#6 Philadelphia Demonik (10-4) LW6 - Well you can't break into the Top 4, but you can decide who you want to play in the first round of the playoffs.
The Minotaurs or the Deloreans?
Tough call but you can maneuver yourselves to play which ever team suits you.
Win both games and the Archangels lose 1, you play the Minotaurs or the #4 team.
Archangels win both or you lose 1 game, then it is the #3 team or maybe the Deloreans you get in Round 1.
Pick your poison.
Next opponent: #9 Valhalla Einherjar (7-7)

#7 The Kingston Inferno (8-6) LW7 - This next game should be a win and that will give you 9 wins on the season. That could be enough to secure you an invite, so make sure you win it.
Next opponent: at #15 Gamehendge Knights (1-13)

#8 St. Petersburg Red Tide (7-7) LW8 - So the Mombasa game should be a win. Plus you beat Valhalla in the regular season. So as long as you win and Valhalla loses, I think that will give you guys the #8 seed and the final invitation to the playoffs.
Good luck.
Next opponent: #14 Mombasa Wombats (1-13)

#9 Valhalla Einherjar (7-7) LW9 - Ok, this is how it goes. You MUST win both games and hope St Pete’s loses the Aftermath game for you guys to make it as the 8th seed.
If you lose, you are O-U-W-T!
Next opponent: at #6 Philadelphia Demonik (10-4)

#10 Warsaw Gods Of War (6-8) LW10 - Ok, so one more loss and it will be time to officially put the defending Pimp Cup champs into the Lounge. And with the Minotaurs up next, it could be time to say good bye until next season.
Next opponent: at #4 Knossos Minotaurs (11-3)

#11 Lefkada Sea Hawks (6-8) LW11 - It was a valiant second half effort, but this game might officially knock you guys out. The only way to stay alive is to win, but it will take a huge upset of epic proportions to keep you guys breathing another week.
Next opponent: at #3 Hill Valley Deloreans (11-3)

#12 CROATIAN FLESH EATERS (5-9) LW12 - Well it’s that time Flesh Eaters, it’s time to get you into the Lounge.
The beer is cold, the women are easy and the bathroom lines are long.
Better luck in season 14.
Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/01Danette/Danette-16.jpg
Next opponent: #16 Danzig Resurrected Bastards (0-14)

#13 Ostrava IRONMEN (4-10) LW13 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/09Gretchen/Gretchen-09.jpg
Next opponent: #2 Jefferson City Bucks (13-1)

#14 Mombasa Wombats (1-13) LW14 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/05Iris/Iris-02.jpg
Next opponent: at #8 St. Petersburg Red Tide (7-7)

#15 Gamehendge Knights (1-13) LW15 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/07Nicolette/Nicolette-11.jpg
Next opponent: #7 The Kingston Inferno (8-6)

#16 Danzig Resurrected Bastards (0-14) LW16 - Click your pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2003/02Arielle/Arielle-17.jpg
Next opponent: at #12 CROATIAN FLESH EATERS (5-8)


*****WEEK 15 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 8-0 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 8-0 Week 4: 7-1 Week 5: 6-2 Week 6: 8-0 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 5-3 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 7-1 Week 11: 6-2
Week 12: 6-2 Week 13: 6-2 Week 14: 8-0

Overall: 95-17
SA’s GOW: 12-2
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 9-5


#10 Warsaw Gods Of War (6-8) at #4 Knossos Minotaurs (11-3) = Knossos Minotaurs
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#11 Lefkada Sea Hawks (6-8) at #3 Hill Valley Deloreans (11-3) = Hill Valley Deloreans
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#1 Chernobyl Aftermath (14-0) at #5 Kaunas Archangels (10-4) = Chernobyl Aftermath
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#9 Valhalla Einherjar (7-7) at #6 Philadelphia Demonik (10-4) = Philadelphia Demonik
Game Rating: 5/6 beers

#2 Jefferson City Bucks (13-1) at #13 Ostrava IRONMEN (4-10) = Jefferson City Bucks
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#7 The Kingston Inferno (8-6) at #15 Gamehendge Knights (1-13) = The Kingston Inferno
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#14 Mombasa Wombats (1-13) at #8 St. Petersburg Red Tide (7-7) = St. Petersburg Red Tide
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#16 Danzig Resurrected Bastards (0-14) at #12 CROATIAN FLESH EATERS (5-8) = CROATIAN FLESH EATERS
Game Rating: 1/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#1 Chernobyl Aftermath (14-0) at #5 Kaunas Archangels (10-4) -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu9xx5Ri278
Well this game is the under card at…………
……..THUNDER DOME!!!
But this is a huge match up none the less!
The Archangels have proven to be no slouch team from 2A, no sir!
They have the capability of pulling of an ultimate upset here!
The Aftermath has proven to be the best in Zeta and are looking to continue such dominance in the playoffs!
Anything goes in Thunder Dome!
Knives? OF COURSE!
Guns? HELL YEAH!
Nuclear weapons? YOU BET!
Inviting the opposing team over for dinner and making a huge Mexican meal using tainted pork and chicken causing the other team to suffer from explosive diarrhea? WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!
Sneaking into the opponents house and poking holes in the condoms and replacing birth control pills with Tic Tacs? ……oh you guys are demented, but……………DO IT!
Good luck to you two teams!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Aftermath beat the Archangels?
8 Ball's answer: It is certain.
SA's Pick: Chernobyl Aftermath
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Chernobyl Aftermath

24/48 beers! – We have two very good match ups to watch out for in Zeta this week!
First, the Demonik try to fend off Valhalla to keep the rankings right before playoff time!
Then, in the GOW, we are headed to Thunder Dome!
The Archangels and the Aftermath finally get to go at it this week!
So much at stake and it all happens at the Thunder Dome, home of the Sport’s Page GOW and sponsored by, SA!!!!
Enjoy the games.

Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!

f1rst

I'd like to take out ad space in your sport's page. I shall pay you in beer and hookers. I'd also enjoy some product placement for my ponchos.

Originally posted by josh2otter
I'd like to take out ad space in your sport's page. I shall pay you in beer and hookers. I'd also enjoy some product placement for my ponchos.

SOLD!!!!

SA + 8 Ball, we rollin!

Get your win SA, then throw your last plz

Yeah, you don't want us in the gotw tbh

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
Here’s a PM from GreenDay4537 in Philadelphia. He writes in:
Originally posted by Greenday4537

Oooooohhhhh...whatcha doin later?
For the right amount of cash, any dream can come true.
I’m sick, I need help.

Good thing I just made a quick $1,250 in AC Tuesday night...

Originally posted by Greenday4537
Good thing I just made a quick $1,250 in AC Tuesday night...

Nice come up.

Normally I'd say I don't see the Aftermath losing until maybe the playoffs... however something was weird in the SIM last week and there were turnovers galore...

Heck... I'm scared for my own game... vs. a do-or-die Sea Hawks team. Especially after we almost fell on our own sword.
Luckily the IRONMEN pointed out some things we had to fix so that was good.


Sunday 1/10/10 Zeta GOW is Hill Valley vs. Jefferson City
and just to help you out SA... here's some classic past battles (from Seasons 12, 11, 10, and 8 respectively)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S12 -- 24 - 23 HVD : http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=817840
S11 -- 20 - 19 HVD : http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=715854
S10 -- 17 - 6 JCB : http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=589931
S08 -- 26 - 23 (OT) HVD : http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=388935

However.... Jefferson City is a force this year. I think Jefferson City is the only team who's been close to Chernobyl in the 2nd half of a game this season. (I could be wrong.)

I don't usually talk shit..... but The Warsaw Warriors are going DOWN!

Originally posted by Greenday4537
Good thing I just made a quick $1,250 in AC Tuesday night...
SOLD!!!

Originally posted by Cryptotich
I don't usually talk shit..... but The Warsaw Warriors are going DOWN!
LOL, I hope it doesn't come back to bite you in the arse, Crypto.

GL UFT... See you tomorrow morning.

great write up as usual JACKASS!!

There must be something wrong with your eight ball and I think it may be that you're asking it the wrong question...