Elephant Games of the Week (aka “Dos Big Fatties”):
Nigerian Nightmares (3-1-0) Vs Mauritius Mountain Lions (4-0-0)
Both picked to lose last week they came through in a big way setting the stage for this monster battle at the quarter pole of the season! Nightmare or a Lion… which is worse? Well.. a nightmare ends when you wake up but a Lion doesn’t go away when you sleep… so, Lions win it in a massive battle of It’s the weekend, I don’t give a shit and can’t think of much else to say.
The Chad OchoCinco (4-0-0) Vs Madagascar Wild (3-1-0)
Both picked to win last week and they came through in a big way setting the stage for this monster battle at the quarter pole of the season! Here’s the quicky lowdown… Balony is made with a bunch of parts… C85 is made with pure all beef goodness. All beef goodness > Parts. C85 with the win.
Off on a seperate tangent... you know how hard it is to be allowed on C85? Seriously. You have to interview, go through a battery of tests and you have to meet size requirements. Honesty, reporters got confused when they walk into the locker room the first time and thought it was a baseball team. It looked like somebody opened up a Weinerschnitzel franchise in the Super Mario 3 Giant World. A player pulled his dick out at the Empire State Building and won an Oscar for remaking King Kong. Another player painted his dick red and went out trick or treating as Darth Vader. Just tremendously huge dicks, it's ridiculous.
Rest of dem games:
Seychelles Roosters (2-2-0) Vs MaRAWK!! o (4-0-0)
Besieged by PETA protesters amid rumors that the goats of the Rawk are abused, mistreated and considered to be trained as sex goats, Techie attempted to pass of his harem as so called “fainting goats” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhIrCaY31Kk ) “No, they ain’t laying down with their legs spread... I swear they be a faintin’! And the fact that it only happens when ya come up to them from behind or whenever they hear a zipper is just purely coincidental.” The only question is whether this distraction will… actually I think the Rawk thrive on distraction so this only adds to the fever that is the Rawk!!o World. Cocks blew a big chance last week and their only real hope is if Sue Acula’s mother comes into town before the game… as she loves herself some big Rooster. MaRawko wins it in another close game and Seychelles will again fall behind in the standings.
Swaziland Dachshunds (2-2-0) Vs Kenya's Blood Leopards (0-4-0)
The wieners got whacked with two FG’s in the last 2:30 of the last game and were forced to kneel before Zod (reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh4Si6GxDgI&NR=1 ) Look for the weird numbers guy (okay, wtf is that about anyway.. did you fuck up on your name and think 316… was Pi? Cause your name is 316blahblahnumbersblah but your avatar is rotating pi… w.t.f.?) to rally the Dogs and kick the Kenya Tampons ass (get it?? Blood Leopards... leopard is a kitty.. kitty is a pussy… bloody pussy.. get it? Hahahahahahah)
Lethoso Rollers (2-2-0) Vs Cardiff Cobras (2-2-0)
Seriously… I called it. Originally posted by Speedcat
... but I fully expect for Cardiff to fuck me over. Fucking Cardiff… Fucking Cardiff bastards screwing me over like I was some kind of two bit hooker… I AM NOT SUE ACULA’S MOM you assholes! Fucking sonsabitches. I truly truly hate you. With all my heart and soul.
Every time I go to do one of these write ups and I get to the Lethoso team all I think of is…. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBn2ux5vRHk )…S A T U R D A Y night… S A T U R D A Y night…Saturday night.. Saturday night… so with that playing in the background the Rollers win it easy.. as easy as: (insert Sue Acula’s mom/wife joke of your choice here) also, have fun getting that song out of your head now… harharharharhar! Yeah, that's right.... I'm that evil!
Michigan Nation (3-1-0) Vs Tar River Pirates (2-2-0)
Okay.. while I’m not a Big 10 fan.. I loved this and had to share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw7m6W7gKXo )… Anyway, I’ve decided that I won’t refer to the North American team by any name other than Zulu Nation from now on. Zulu had a good solid win, not as dominate as I would have hoped for. Tar babies faced a better team and almost got the upset. Zulu will put up a fight but I think the Pirates ram it up MI’s arse just like Sue Acula’s mom like it.. hard and lubeless.
Uganda Mounties (0-4-0) Vs Warri Delta Warriors (1-3-0)
Uganda pissed me off but not getting the upset last week… I went out on the limb for you and you basically treat me like I'm from Lion conference or something. I still like you.. just not happy with you right now. So I’m going with the upstart, underleveled, try harder, go gettem, almost Rocky-type Warriors to win it.
Rhodesian Ridgebacks (0-4-0) Vs Rundu Rhino Rush (1-3-0)
I don’t care much who does what tbh. It’s the weekend, I don’t give a shit and can’t think of much else to say.
RRvRRR… in poker 3 of a kind always beats 2 of a kind so I’ll go with Rundu to win it. And no Bill, I’m still not going to agree that just because you have three balls makes you special.. and no, I still don’t want to see it.
Sorry these aren’t that funny or witty. It’s 80 degrees out, beautiful Portland day and my fucking wife is nagging the shit out of me so I have no time to do better. Week 6 will rule.
Nigerian Nightmares (3-1-0) Vs Mauritius Mountain Lions (4-0-0)
Both picked to lose last week they came through in a big way setting the stage for this monster battle at the quarter pole of the season! Nightmare or a Lion… which is worse? Well.. a nightmare ends when you wake up but a Lion doesn’t go away when you sleep… so, Lions win it in a massive battle of It’s the weekend, I don’t give a shit and can’t think of much else to say.
The Chad OchoCinco (4-0-0) Vs Madagascar Wild (3-1-0)
Both picked to win last week and they came through in a big way setting the stage for this monster battle at the quarter pole of the season! Here’s the quicky lowdown… Balony is made with a bunch of parts… C85 is made with pure all beef goodness. All beef goodness > Parts. C85 with the win.
Off on a seperate tangent... you know how hard it is to be allowed on C85? Seriously. You have to interview, go through a battery of tests and you have to meet size requirements. Honesty, reporters got confused when they walk into the locker room the first time and thought it was a baseball team. It looked like somebody opened up a Weinerschnitzel franchise in the Super Mario 3 Giant World. A player pulled his dick out at the Empire State Building and won an Oscar for remaking King Kong. Another player painted his dick red and went out trick or treating as Darth Vader. Just tremendously huge dicks, it's ridiculous.
Rest of dem games:
Seychelles Roosters (2-2-0) Vs MaRAWK!! o (4-0-0)
Besieged by PETA protesters amid rumors that the goats of the Rawk are abused, mistreated and considered to be trained as sex goats, Techie attempted to pass of his harem as so called “fainting goats” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhIrCaY31Kk ) “No, they ain’t laying down with their legs spread... I swear they be a faintin’! And the fact that it only happens when ya come up to them from behind or whenever they hear a zipper is just purely coincidental.” The only question is whether this distraction will… actually I think the Rawk thrive on distraction so this only adds to the fever that is the Rawk!!o World. Cocks blew a big chance last week and their only real hope is if Sue Acula’s mother comes into town before the game… as she loves herself some big Rooster. MaRawko wins it in another close game and Seychelles will again fall behind in the standings.
Swaziland Dachshunds (2-2-0) Vs Kenya's Blood Leopards (0-4-0)
The wieners got whacked with two FG’s in the last 2:30 of the last game and were forced to kneel before Zod (reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh4Si6GxDgI&NR=1 ) Look for the weird numbers guy (okay, wtf is that about anyway.. did you fuck up on your name and think 316… was Pi? Cause your name is 316blahblahnumbersblah but your avatar is rotating pi… w.t.f.?) to rally the Dogs and kick the Kenya Tampons ass (get it?? Blood Leopards... leopard is a kitty.. kitty is a pussy… bloody pussy.. get it? Hahahahahahah)
Lethoso Rollers (2-2-0) Vs Cardiff Cobras (2-2-0)
Seriously… I called it. Originally posted by Speedcat
... but I fully expect for Cardiff to fuck me over. Fucking Cardiff… Fucking Cardiff bastards screwing me over like I was some kind of two bit hooker… I AM NOT SUE ACULA’S MOM you assholes! Fucking sonsabitches. I truly truly hate you. With all my heart and soul.
Every time I go to do one of these write ups and I get to the Lethoso team all I think of is…. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBn2ux5vRHk )…S A T U R D A Y night… S A T U R D A Y night…Saturday night.. Saturday night… so with that playing in the background the Rollers win it easy.. as easy as: (insert Sue Acula’s mom/wife joke of your choice here) also, have fun getting that song out of your head now… harharharharhar! Yeah, that's right.... I'm that evil!
Michigan Nation (3-1-0) Vs Tar River Pirates (2-2-0)
Okay.. while I’m not a Big 10 fan.. I loved this and had to share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw7m6W7gKXo )… Anyway, I’ve decided that I won’t refer to the North American team by any name other than Zulu Nation from now on. Zulu had a good solid win, not as dominate as I would have hoped for. Tar babies faced a better team and almost got the upset. Zulu will put up a fight but I think the Pirates ram it up MI’s arse just like Sue Acula’s mom like it.. hard and lubeless.
Uganda Mounties (0-4-0) Vs Warri Delta Warriors (1-3-0)
Uganda pissed me off but not getting the upset last week… I went out on the limb for you and you basically treat me like I'm from Lion conference or something. I still like you.. just not happy with you right now. So I’m going with the upstart, underleveled, try harder, go gettem, almost Rocky-type Warriors to win it.
Rhodesian Ridgebacks (0-4-0) Vs Rundu Rhino Rush (1-3-0)
I don’t care much who does what tbh. It’s the weekend, I don’t give a shit and can’t think of much else to say.
RRvRRR… in poker 3 of a kind always beats 2 of a kind so I’ll go with Rundu to win it. And no Bill, I’m still not going to agree that just because you have three balls makes you special.. and no, I still don’t want to see it.
Sorry these aren’t that funny or witty. It’s 80 degrees out, beautiful Portland day and my fucking wife is nagging the shit out of me so I have no time to do better. Week 6 will rule.
I guess I'd pick aginst me too after the Michigan debacle... The season's still young.
