These guys have covered my ass all season long and I just wanted to say "Thank you". Besides, someone might actually enjoy reading something non-assholiness(sic) for once. For those of you who don't enjoy it, fuck you. 
j/k. Maybe?
Before the playoffs start and we are all in up to our elbows (in the game, not your mom (j/k, dude, chill out)), I would like to publicly thank my fellow Crush teammates. Without them I’d have quit after season 1. I am truly just a monkey behind the curtain. Players with an * are original signings from season 1.
Edit: I had this all typed up with 2 players to go and fucking deleted it somehow. So I typed it again. That could mean 1 or 2 things, these guys really mean a lot to me or I’m a really bad typist. It’s probably a little of both.
Morath http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=60696
QB - Dave Perfect
Morath signed on before season 2. He does whatever is asked of him and never complains about his lack of playing time. A real trooper.
Note: I take great delite in pointing out to Dravz when Dave upstages him. As evident from our last game.
Dravz rushes for a meager 8 yds (notice the huge hole he has to run through, yet manages to run into someone): http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=3680183
Dravz claims this to be a monster stiff-arm. I say he tripped over his own feet and ran into the guy. You decide.
Now Dave and his cat like quickness and agility show Dravz how it's done:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=3681163
Yes folks. 8.5 yds. Now thats someone who gives 104.63%.
Dravz http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=5007
QB - Pierce Dravz*
Dravz and I started this game on about the same date and I think was my first free agent signing. A true gem. This guy has survived and prospered in every bad tactical situation I have put him in. He has as much knowledge about this game as anyone in the GLB network. Without him I’d be lost. Dravz single handedly turned us around after our mid-season stumble. Class act all the way.
Quick Fact: Pierce Dravz started out as Palmer Dravz.
AwpHul http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=3174
FB - Xander Aitch
G - Joel Weights
OT - Treacle Molasses
LB - Larry Tailor*
AwpHul is one of the most intelligent people on our team. The man is sharp as a tack. He had one player on the team in season 1 and signed up a few more for season 2. The guy keeps me on my toes. He always has ideas to help the team and is willing to do whatever it takes to make us successful. He, like Dravz, is an important piece of the puzzle. If you were to look up the definition of the word “man” I’m sure there would be a picture of Awp (not his avatar pic, that would be weird).
xithix http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=10436
C - Punch McRockGroin
G - Roger Wilco
CB - Pit Pat
DE - Senator Tankerbell
FB - Zergling Minor
FS - Haywood Jablomi
WR - H.P. Lovecraft
xithix came to us by way of AwpHul. After season 1 we realized we needed depth. Xithix had been an owner/coach in season 1 and decided he didn’t have the time to dedicate to it. Xithixs only request was that his players stay together. Of course I couldn’t send out offers fast enough based on Awp’s recommendation. After we had them signed and I checked out his players, the first thing that came to mind was, “what the fuck did I just waste all that money on?” Little did I know at the time what a genius xithix was at player builds. The man knows how to build. Though they look unorthodox, his builds have defined how other players on the team are built. Xithix is the only player I have that gives me weekly heart attacks by going inactive. Xithix also has one of the cutest little avatars you’ll ever see. It’s so cute you’ll want to club it like a baby seal.
pullo133 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=31580
TE - Naoki Beasley
We needed a good TE before the season 2 start and found Naoki. He has exceeded every expectation we had for him and has excelled at every opportunity thrown his way (pun intended). Always active, always willing to give what it takes. Great player.
And how cool is that name?
SLACKER http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=15593
DT – Scott Slacker
WR – Hands Magillicutty
Another extremely lucky find. We had been looking for a DT for support and depth. I found Scott and sent him an offer. He wanted us to sign his lvl 4 WR too. I didn’t know what we would do with the WR, but hoped Scott would build him up to where we could use him. Wow, what a job he’s done. Without a doubt one of the best blind signings we have ever had. I couldn’t be happier with the way Scott has helped this team. Always willing to do what it takes and never complains. Love this guy.
zorro37 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=2854
WR - Marques Colston*
Marques hails from Belfast, Ireland. Our Prima Donna. The guy has built probably one of the top 10 receivers in GLB. He is unstoppable when I don’t mess up tactics or when Bort decides to mess with the game. If Bort ever puts injuries into the game and Marques gets hurt, I fear GLB headquarters will be firebombed. (ATF,CIA,FBI, j/k). Marques is another player that never complains or has a harsh word. Actually none of the guys presently on the Crush have ever complained about anything. In the modified words of Lou Gehrig, “I am the luckiest owner alive”.
rudebry88 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=7902
DE - DeTwan Bentley*
DeTwan has been on the Crush his whole career. Rudebry has created the ultimate monster. This player is so good I have trouble deciding where to play him. An absolute beast on KO’s. Great player and owner. Always does what I ask of him and excels wherever I put him. Love this kid.
brownsfan_91 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=12331
LB - Christain Johnson*
A late season 1 pickup. I haven’t been able to get him the playing time he deserves but I’m sure when his number is called he’ll do what’s needed of him. Hey and he’s a Browns fan. Gotta love him on that alone.
Coolhand760 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=17234
LB - Lamont Jackson*
Believe it or not, this guy has more players than I do. Another owner who does whatever I ask without question. His LB has saved our ass more than once as a steady backup. His first start is tomorrow and I expect he’ll take a few names. Love the build, player and owner. How the hell can ya not love the nic/avatar combo? Smooth. As. Silk.
Quick Fact: Coolhand760, in a locker room dare, ate 51 hard boiled eggs then proclaimed "Luke ain't shit!" When told that "Cool Hand Luke" was a movie and that Paul Newman didn't really eat 50 hard boiled eggs, coolhand760 promptly threw up for 6 minutes and 37 seconds non-stop.
unknown http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o111/krwynn/goofy.jpg
SS - Theodore Crabtree
What a pain in the ass this fucking guy is. Shitty attitude, poor build and dumb as shit. I would not piss on this bum if he was on fire. I can not wait to kick his worthless ass to the curb. I would punch his worthless whore of a mother just for giving birth to this scumbag.
To top it all off, he’s French. And BTW, he’s a CPU. Gotcha!
There have been other players come and go in our short time as a team. Some good and some not so good (owners that is)("My buddy bought a team", or "I clicked the wrong button"). I wish you good luck and a mild case of herpes (j/k). Also know that there are a few of you (I’m looking at you Hugh Janus) that I regret ever releasing.
Thanks again to all for making the Crush what it is in spite of my inabilities and shortcomings with this game. It’s greatly appreciated and I enjoy being a part of it with each and every one of you.
PS. I saved this MF 15 times so I wouldn’t delete it again. True story.
Late Edit: I'm aware that some will view this as an "in house" thing, however they are in all truth the heart and soul of the Columbus Crush. I felt they deserved some recognition for what they have accomplished. I chose this method as none of them would ever "toot" their own horn.
j/k. Maybe?Before the playoffs start and we are all in up to our elbows (in the game, not your mom (j/k, dude, chill out)), I would like to publicly thank my fellow Crush teammates. Without them I’d have quit after season 1. I am truly just a monkey behind the curtain. Players with an * are original signings from season 1.
Edit: I had this all typed up with 2 players to go and fucking deleted it somehow. So I typed it again. That could mean 1 or 2 things, these guys really mean a lot to me or I’m a really bad typist. It’s probably a little of both.
Morath http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=60696
QB - Dave Perfect
Morath signed on before season 2. He does whatever is asked of him and never complains about his lack of playing time. A real trooper.
Note: I take great delite in pointing out to Dravz when Dave upstages him. As evident from our last game.
Dravz rushes for a meager 8 yds (notice the huge hole he has to run through, yet manages to run into someone): http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=3680183
Dravz claims this to be a monster stiff-arm. I say he tripped over his own feet and ran into the guy. You decide.
Now Dave and his cat like quickness and agility show Dravz how it's done:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=3681163
Yes folks. 8.5 yds. Now thats someone who gives 104.63%.
Dravz http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=5007
QB - Pierce Dravz*
Dravz and I started this game on about the same date and I think was my first free agent signing. A true gem. This guy has survived and prospered in every bad tactical situation I have put him in. He has as much knowledge about this game as anyone in the GLB network. Without him I’d be lost. Dravz single handedly turned us around after our mid-season stumble. Class act all the way.
Quick Fact: Pierce Dravz started out as Palmer Dravz.
AwpHul http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=3174
FB - Xander Aitch
G - Joel Weights
OT - Treacle Molasses
LB - Larry Tailor*
AwpHul is one of the most intelligent people on our team. The man is sharp as a tack. He had one player on the team in season 1 and signed up a few more for season 2. The guy keeps me on my toes. He always has ideas to help the team and is willing to do whatever it takes to make us successful. He, like Dravz, is an important piece of the puzzle. If you were to look up the definition of the word “man” I’m sure there would be a picture of Awp (not his avatar pic, that would be weird).
xithix http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=10436
C - Punch McRockGroin
G - Roger Wilco
CB - Pit Pat
DE - Senator Tankerbell
FB - Zergling Minor
FS - Haywood Jablomi
WR - H.P. Lovecraft
xithix came to us by way of AwpHul. After season 1 we realized we needed depth. Xithix had been an owner/coach in season 1 and decided he didn’t have the time to dedicate to it. Xithixs only request was that his players stay together. Of course I couldn’t send out offers fast enough based on Awp’s recommendation. After we had them signed and I checked out his players, the first thing that came to mind was, “what the fuck did I just waste all that money on?” Little did I know at the time what a genius xithix was at player builds. The man knows how to build. Though they look unorthodox, his builds have defined how other players on the team are built. Xithix is the only player I have that gives me weekly heart attacks by going inactive. Xithix also has one of the cutest little avatars you’ll ever see. It’s so cute you’ll want to club it like a baby seal.
pullo133 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=31580
TE - Naoki Beasley
We needed a good TE before the season 2 start and found Naoki. He has exceeded every expectation we had for him and has excelled at every opportunity thrown his way (pun intended). Always active, always willing to give what it takes. Great player.
And how cool is that name?
SLACKER http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=15593
DT – Scott Slacker
WR – Hands Magillicutty
Another extremely lucky find. We had been looking for a DT for support and depth. I found Scott and sent him an offer. He wanted us to sign his lvl 4 WR too. I didn’t know what we would do with the WR, but hoped Scott would build him up to where we could use him. Wow, what a job he’s done. Without a doubt one of the best blind signings we have ever had. I couldn’t be happier with the way Scott has helped this team. Always willing to do what it takes and never complains. Love this guy.
zorro37 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=2854
WR - Marques Colston*
Marques hails from Belfast, Ireland. Our Prima Donna. The guy has built probably one of the top 10 receivers in GLB. He is unstoppable when I don’t mess up tactics or when Bort decides to mess with the game. If Bort ever puts injuries into the game and Marques gets hurt, I fear GLB headquarters will be firebombed. (ATF,CIA,FBI, j/k). Marques is another player that never complains or has a harsh word. Actually none of the guys presently on the Crush have ever complained about anything. In the modified words of Lou Gehrig, “I am the luckiest owner alive”.
rudebry88 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=7902
DE - DeTwan Bentley*
DeTwan has been on the Crush his whole career. Rudebry has created the ultimate monster. This player is so good I have trouble deciding where to play him. An absolute beast on KO’s. Great player and owner. Always does what I ask of him and excels wherever I put him. Love this kid.
brownsfan_91 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=12331
LB - Christain Johnson*
A late season 1 pickup. I haven’t been able to get him the playing time he deserves but I’m sure when his number is called he’ll do what’s needed of him. Hey and he’s a Browns fan. Gotta love him on that alone.
Coolhand760 http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=17234
LB - Lamont Jackson*
Believe it or not, this guy has more players than I do. Another owner who does whatever I ask without question. His LB has saved our ass more than once as a steady backup. His first start is tomorrow and I expect he’ll take a few names. Love the build, player and owner. How the hell can ya not love the nic/avatar combo? Smooth. As. Silk.
Quick Fact: Coolhand760, in a locker room dare, ate 51 hard boiled eggs then proclaimed "Luke ain't shit!" When told that "Cool Hand Luke" was a movie and that Paul Newman didn't really eat 50 hard boiled eggs, coolhand760 promptly threw up for 6 minutes and 37 seconds non-stop.
unknown http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o111/krwynn/goofy.jpg
SS - Theodore Crabtree
What a pain in the ass this fucking guy is. Shitty attitude, poor build and dumb as shit. I would not piss on this bum if he was on fire. I can not wait to kick his worthless ass to the curb. I would punch his worthless whore of a mother just for giving birth to this scumbag.
To top it all off, he’s French. And BTW, he’s a CPU.
Gotcha! There have been other players come and go in our short time as a team. Some good and some not so good (owners that is)("My buddy bought a team", or "I clicked the wrong button"). I wish you good luck and a mild case of herpes (j/k). Also know that there are a few of you (I’m looking at you Hugh Janus) that I regret ever releasing.
Thanks again to all for making the Crush what it is in spite of my inabilities and shortcomings with this game. It’s greatly appreciated and I enjoy being a part of it with each and every one of you.
PS. I saved this MF 15 times so I wouldn’t delete it again. True story.
Late Edit: I'm aware that some will view this as an "in house" thing, however they are in all truth the heart and soul of the Columbus Crush. I felt they deserved some recognition for what they have accomplished. I chose this method as none of them would ever "toot" their own horn.
Last edited May 21, 2008 23:04:22
You are a solid coach which is evident from your accomplishments. I have been keeping an eye on the Crush and will continue to do so. I wish you guys all the luck in the world. Thank you, sir for the kind words.
