I really like doing these but real life, plus the crappy starting times for our games, has made doing these a real challenge this season.
To the moderators...I can't say I disagree with what you have been doing lately as its kind of been a real pissing match between a bunch of school kids at times here. All we are missing is the ability to give cyber-noogies. Just know that if I disrespect somebody with my picks it actually means I respect them and care for them deeply. No....really...I mean it.
Lets see if I still remember the teams....starting in the East.
Game one....Harpoons vs Beavers. Harpoons? Beavers? Harpooning Beavers? Isn't that a series of porn movies made in Newfoundland? Geez...the mods will realy shut this down if I keep this joke going. Take the Harpoons to devour the Beavers in a real sloppy game!!
SquareEnix vs Sacremento- What has happend to the All-stars??? 6-6 for the BBB#13 Champs of last season can only be explained in one way....somebody in management has discovered girls. Either that or they have been too busy looking for their lost Captain Kirk lunch box to put in a decent gameplan. Despite the distractions the Stars win this game.
Hudson Bay vs Alert- NORTH BOWL I. During halftime this game will get out of hand. Both teams spot a baby seal less than a mile away from the stadium and in their mad rush to club it to death both teams forget to come back to play the second half. I predict a Tie. And a scarf, and possibly a hat if the seal skin goes a long way.
Dictators vs Bronkos- The poor Dicktators....everybody always picking on your name. Maybe you need an image make-over. In my attempt to help, meet your new mascot, Dick Tater....
http://www.olemissteamshop.com/olemiss/images/T/81-443-s.jpg
Spuds win in a romp.
Texas vs Niagara- Niagara Falls is known as the perfect place for Honeymooners to go to celebrate their marriage. Good thing, cause it better not count on the Ice to put it on the map soon as a GLB powerhouse. Snakes slither to a third straight win. The Ice get a room and keep the neighbors up all night with their little tickle party.
Montreal vs Weyburn- a clash of two very different places here. Montreal is know around the world as being a hub of arts and culture, its women are legendary for their carefree way of life and the entire province of Quebec is sometimes a political battlefield due to the separatist movement there. In Weyburn....well...the only excitement there in the last 5 years was when they managed to get a girl with more than 3 teeth in the towns kissing booth at last years town fair. Good thing is she's suiting up for the Wolverines and leading them to victory in this game.
Little Rock vs Lake Michigan- I am considering adopting a pet pig this week, so I will go with the Razorbacks in this one. Good thing is, if the pig doesn't make a good pet, I can always serve him up with some eggs and toast, something I can't do with my cats, dogs, snake or children (at least not legally as far as I know).
Magnificent vs Texas Death Dealers- Huge clash here in the scheme of things for the post season and final standings. Take the dealers to pull off the minor upset. ( I was going to comment on the unorigional logo of the Bastards, or the fact that I can't even remember what they were named before they went with this brutal title, but that could be seen as being meant to hurt somebodys itty bitty feelings, and I wouldn't want that).
Over in the west.....
Atlanta vs Ohio- Two teams going in the opposite direction in the standings right now. The Legends must have dug up the body of Bernie Kosar and put him in the line-up to pull off two straight wins. Whats that you say....Kosar isn't dead???? Thats right, he just buried himself to try and distance himself from the Browns. Legends and Bernie win again.
Verdun vs Thunder Bay- If you go to Thunder Bay you will be pestered by the locals to see the "Sleeping Giant". Its a big rock that looks like a guy laying in the water....as this pic shows.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sleepinggiantontario5743.jpg
You say you don't see it?? Thats because you are too damn sober. You just know this entire sleeping giant thing was all part of a bad LSD trip in the 60's. Take the Huskies to win the game by the way.
Grim vs Grande Prairie- A battle for top spot in the division sees the Afterlife playing a place you don't want to be caught dead in, and that is GP. I lived there for about 6 months one time. Actually, it was only three months, but the clock moves slowly when you are caught in the northern Alberta version of Little Rock. Afterlife stay perfect....GP (the city, not the team that I love so dearly) stays as far away from perfect as you can imagine.
Spooner vs Canada- One of my favorite comics as a kid was Captain Canuck, who resembles the logo for the Defenders. He could take on a ton of bad guys and always came out victorious. However, he never got fleas in his tights while he was trying to do it. Look for the Snuggle Bugs to come out with the win and the Captain to be left scratching his head, and his legs and his ass.
Sue Saint Mary vs Borths Rath- The Mediocre Bowl. Both teams 6-6 and fighting for their playoff lives. I don't know about you but if I had to fight anybody for anything I would want it to be that fruit loop that is the logo for the Rath. Then again, SSM is named after a light beer...a light AMERICAN beer. You know what we call that up here in Canada???.....Water! Still, I will take a beer over balloon boy, so take the Bullets to win.
Regina Vs Rochester- Word is there is distention in the ranks with the Outlaws as management and owners are at each others throats and half the team is threatening to bail. This my friends is called a split personality as its still a one man show in Regina. Still, the Outlaws put aside their differences and pull out the win in this game.
Alberta Stampede vs Saskatoon Falcons- an easy pass for the Falcons as they feast on the computer owned Stampede. I can't believe I wasted time typing this......
NEXT!!!
Alberta Beef vs Winnipeg- Kind of like a homecoming for me as I am from Brandon which is just a short drive from Winterpeg. The good thing is that I don't actually have to go back to the frozen wasteland that is Manitoba to enjoy this game. Since its my team, I will make no prediction other than if hell ever does freeze over, it will probably resemble Winnipeg in mid-November.
To the moderators...I can't say I disagree with what you have been doing lately as its kind of been a real pissing match between a bunch of school kids at times here. All we are missing is the ability to give cyber-noogies. Just know that if I disrespect somebody with my picks it actually means I respect them and care for them deeply. No....really...I mean it.
Lets see if I still remember the teams....starting in the East.
Game one....Harpoons vs Beavers. Harpoons? Beavers? Harpooning Beavers? Isn't that a series of porn movies made in Newfoundland? Geez...the mods will realy shut this down if I keep this joke going. Take the Harpoons to devour the Beavers in a real sloppy game!!
SquareEnix vs Sacremento- What has happend to the All-stars??? 6-6 for the BBB#13 Champs of last season can only be explained in one way....somebody in management has discovered girls. Either that or they have been too busy looking for their lost Captain Kirk lunch box to put in a decent gameplan. Despite the distractions the Stars win this game.
Hudson Bay vs Alert- NORTH BOWL I. During halftime this game will get out of hand. Both teams spot a baby seal less than a mile away from the stadium and in their mad rush to club it to death both teams forget to come back to play the second half. I predict a Tie. And a scarf, and possibly a hat if the seal skin goes a long way.
Dictators vs Bronkos- The poor Dicktators....everybody always picking on your name. Maybe you need an image make-over. In my attempt to help, meet your new mascot, Dick Tater....
http://www.olemissteamshop.com/olemiss/images/T/81-443-s.jpg
Spuds win in a romp.
Texas vs Niagara- Niagara Falls is known as the perfect place for Honeymooners to go to celebrate their marriage. Good thing, cause it better not count on the Ice to put it on the map soon as a GLB powerhouse. Snakes slither to a third straight win. The Ice get a room and keep the neighbors up all night with their little tickle party.
Montreal vs Weyburn- a clash of two very different places here. Montreal is know around the world as being a hub of arts and culture, its women are legendary for their carefree way of life and the entire province of Quebec is sometimes a political battlefield due to the separatist movement there. In Weyburn....well...the only excitement there in the last 5 years was when they managed to get a girl with more than 3 teeth in the towns kissing booth at last years town fair. Good thing is she's suiting up for the Wolverines and leading them to victory in this game.
Little Rock vs Lake Michigan- I am considering adopting a pet pig this week, so I will go with the Razorbacks in this one. Good thing is, if the pig doesn't make a good pet, I can always serve him up with some eggs and toast, something I can't do with my cats, dogs, snake or children (at least not legally as far as I know).
Magnificent vs Texas Death Dealers- Huge clash here in the scheme of things for the post season and final standings. Take the dealers to pull off the minor upset. ( I was going to comment on the unorigional logo of the Bastards, or the fact that I can't even remember what they were named before they went with this brutal title, but that could be seen as being meant to hurt somebodys itty bitty feelings, and I wouldn't want that).
Over in the west.....
Atlanta vs Ohio- Two teams going in the opposite direction in the standings right now. The Legends must have dug up the body of Bernie Kosar and put him in the line-up to pull off two straight wins. Whats that you say....Kosar isn't dead???? Thats right, he just buried himself to try and distance himself from the Browns. Legends and Bernie win again.
Verdun vs Thunder Bay- If you go to Thunder Bay you will be pestered by the locals to see the "Sleeping Giant". Its a big rock that looks like a guy laying in the water....as this pic shows.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sleepinggiantontario5743.jpg
You say you don't see it?? Thats because you are too damn sober. You just know this entire sleeping giant thing was all part of a bad LSD trip in the 60's. Take the Huskies to win the game by the way.
Grim vs Grande Prairie- A battle for top spot in the division sees the Afterlife playing a place you don't want to be caught dead in, and that is GP. I lived there for about 6 months one time. Actually, it was only three months, but the clock moves slowly when you are caught in the northern Alberta version of Little Rock. Afterlife stay perfect....GP (the city, not the team that I love so dearly) stays as far away from perfect as you can imagine.
Spooner vs Canada- One of my favorite comics as a kid was Captain Canuck, who resembles the logo for the Defenders. He could take on a ton of bad guys and always came out victorious. However, he never got fleas in his tights while he was trying to do it. Look for the Snuggle Bugs to come out with the win and the Captain to be left scratching his head, and his legs and his ass.
Sue Saint Mary vs Borths Rath- The Mediocre Bowl. Both teams 6-6 and fighting for their playoff lives. I don't know about you but if I had to fight anybody for anything I would want it to be that fruit loop that is the logo for the Rath. Then again, SSM is named after a light beer...a light AMERICAN beer. You know what we call that up here in Canada???.....Water! Still, I will take a beer over balloon boy, so take the Bullets to win.
Regina Vs Rochester- Word is there is distention in the ranks with the Outlaws as management and owners are at each others throats and half the team is threatening to bail. This my friends is called a split personality as its still a one man show in Regina. Still, the Outlaws put aside their differences and pull out the win in this game.
Alberta Stampede vs Saskatoon Falcons- an easy pass for the Falcons as they feast on the computer owned Stampede. I can't believe I wasted time typing this......
NEXT!!!
Alberta Beef vs Winnipeg- Kind of like a homecoming for me as I am from Brandon which is just a short drive from Winterpeg. The good thing is that I don't actually have to go back to the frozen wasteland that is Manitoba to enjoy this game. Since its my team, I will make no prediction other than if hell ever does freeze over, it will probably resemble Winnipeg in mid-November.
