Trying to get these done at work....so they should have the same amount of suckage that the last ones had. I am also in a piss poor mood so if I am a little harsh....deal with it.
Starting with the East....
International Falls vs Sacramento- game of the weak here as both teams are looking for their first victory. In true Detroit Lions fashion they battle to a 3-3 tie and put everyone in the stands to sleep.
Dictators vs Sentinels- The Sentinels Ho Ho Ho Green Giant logo guy would need a lot bigger sword to pull off this win. Dictators roll.
Magnificent vs Montreal- Funny, the rest of Canada refers to Montreal and all of Quebec as a bunch of bastards (but never magnificent) everytime that province starts whining about wanting to leave the country. Look for the Bastards to win this game and Quebecers to never have the stones to go it alone.
Ontario vs Viagra- look for the Viagra defence to stiffen against the Beavers. One final thrust at the end of the game slams the Viagra past the Beavers last line of defense to pick up the win and both sides collapse. Whats that....??? Oh, Niagrara. my mistake. Ice win.
Texas vs Lake Michigan- Stoopid question from a redneck Albertan, but does Lake Michigan actually freeze all the way over in the winter? I may not know that but I know the Death Dealers don't give a crap and win this game.
Little Rock vs Texas Hogsnakes- the best battle in this game is on the sidelines. The Razorbacks cheerleaders realize that any one of the Hogsnakes cheerleaders, on her own, has more teeth than the entire 30 woman Razorback cheerleading squad combined. The game ends in a tie as the players are too distracted watching the "LIttle Piggies" as they are known try to bust the chops of the good looking Texas cheer leading squad.
Halifax vs Weyburn- some guys I work with just got back from working around the Weyburn area this week. The verdict....still a hole...but at least the hummingbird sized mosquitoes aren't biting too bad in the -35 degree weather!!! That hole has an 0-4 team after this game.
SquareEnix All-Stars vs Hudson Bay Horrors- Game of the Week here as two 3-0 teams battle it out. The only way the Horrors win this game is if they somehow can distract the All-Stars. The easiest way....start a fight on the SquareEnix sidelines between the Star Trek and the Star Wars fans. Then really get them worked up by starting a rumor about a girl that actually wants to kiss one of those geeks. Half the team will be in the bathroom with the bra section out of the Sears cataloge and will miss the game if you do this.
Over in the west....
Thunder Bay vs Grande Prairie- The Dr.Suess Bowl as the Huskies vs the Muskies. The Huskies seem as tough as Horton's Hoo at this point. Do they win this game I say....there is no F**king way. Fish win.
Atlanta vs Saskatoon- Word is that the reason the Falcons are named after Saskatoon is they had lost a bet and had to pick the worst Canadian citys name they could find. For the record, there is no rule against two teams being named after Weyburn. Flash win the game for those that care.
Spooner vs Bort- I got nothing. However, That creepy guy that is the logo for the Wrath looks like he would enjoy either being spooned, or having fleas. No pick due to disinterest
Winnipeg vs Sault Ste.Marie- SSM is named after a light beer. In Winnipeg, you start every damn day putting light beer on your cereal and then drink whiskey all day to deal with the fact you live in Winnipeg. Take the Wolverines to pick up the win and a case of real beer like Wildcat Strong (9%) to take home. Gotta bring something for the kids to drink.
Ohio vs Rochester- another battle of 0-3 teams. I take the Legends to win this based on nothing else than the fact the guy on their logo is wearing a leather helmet. Old school ass whipping to follow.
Verdun vs Alberta Stampede- I just wasted about 9 seconds typing this
Grim Afterlife Vs Regina- The Irony Bowl. If you want to see what a grim afterlife is like go move to Regina. Its kind of like hell with awful water and without the furnace. Grim win.
and finally, Canada vs Alberta. another clash of 3-0 teams, one of them being mine, so I am not picking. However, in true Alberta fashion I will tell you this about the great white north.
Canada needs Alberta...Alberta does not need Canada!
We here in Alberta would probably leave the rest of the country if it meant being able to buy beer in convenience stores like in the US. Just think of Alberta as "Texas North"...except instead of hurricanes we just get snow.
Starting with the East....
International Falls vs Sacramento- game of the weak here as both teams are looking for their first victory. In true Detroit Lions fashion they battle to a 3-3 tie and put everyone in the stands to sleep.
Dictators vs Sentinels- The Sentinels Ho Ho Ho Green Giant logo guy would need a lot bigger sword to pull off this win. Dictators roll.
Magnificent vs Montreal- Funny, the rest of Canada refers to Montreal and all of Quebec as a bunch of bastards (but never magnificent) everytime that province starts whining about wanting to leave the country. Look for the Bastards to win this game and Quebecers to never have the stones to go it alone.
Ontario vs Viagra- look for the Viagra defence to stiffen against the Beavers. One final thrust at the end of the game slams the Viagra past the Beavers last line of defense to pick up the win and both sides collapse. Whats that....??? Oh, Niagrara. my mistake. Ice win.
Texas vs Lake Michigan- Stoopid question from a redneck Albertan, but does Lake Michigan actually freeze all the way over in the winter? I may not know that but I know the Death Dealers don't give a crap and win this game.
Little Rock vs Texas Hogsnakes- the best battle in this game is on the sidelines. The Razorbacks cheerleaders realize that any one of the Hogsnakes cheerleaders, on her own, has more teeth than the entire 30 woman Razorback cheerleading squad combined. The game ends in a tie as the players are too distracted watching the "LIttle Piggies" as they are known try to bust the chops of the good looking Texas cheer leading squad.
Halifax vs Weyburn- some guys I work with just got back from working around the Weyburn area this week. The verdict....still a hole...but at least the hummingbird sized mosquitoes aren't biting too bad in the -35 degree weather!!! That hole has an 0-4 team after this game.
SquareEnix All-Stars vs Hudson Bay Horrors- Game of the Week here as two 3-0 teams battle it out. The only way the Horrors win this game is if they somehow can distract the All-Stars. The easiest way....start a fight on the SquareEnix sidelines between the Star Trek and the Star Wars fans. Then really get them worked up by starting a rumor about a girl that actually wants to kiss one of those geeks. Half the team will be in the bathroom with the bra section out of the Sears cataloge and will miss the game if you do this.
Over in the west....
Thunder Bay vs Grande Prairie- The Dr.Suess Bowl as the Huskies vs the Muskies. The Huskies seem as tough as Horton's Hoo at this point. Do they win this game I say....there is no F**king way. Fish win.
Atlanta vs Saskatoon- Word is that the reason the Falcons are named after Saskatoon is they had lost a bet and had to pick the worst Canadian citys name they could find. For the record, there is no rule against two teams being named after Weyburn. Flash win the game for those that care.
Spooner vs Bort- I got nothing. However, That creepy guy that is the logo for the Wrath looks like he would enjoy either being spooned, or having fleas. No pick due to disinterest
Winnipeg vs Sault Ste.Marie- SSM is named after a light beer. In Winnipeg, you start every damn day putting light beer on your cereal and then drink whiskey all day to deal with the fact you live in Winnipeg. Take the Wolverines to pick up the win and a case of real beer like Wildcat Strong (9%) to take home. Gotta bring something for the kids to drink.
Ohio vs Rochester- another battle of 0-3 teams. I take the Legends to win this based on nothing else than the fact the guy on their logo is wearing a leather helmet. Old school ass whipping to follow.
Verdun vs Alberta Stampede- I just wasted about 9 seconds typing this
Grim Afterlife Vs Regina- The Irony Bowl. If you want to see what a grim afterlife is like go move to Regina. Its kind of like hell with awful water and without the furnace. Grim win.
and finally, Canada vs Alberta. another clash of 3-0 teams, one of them being mine, so I am not picking. However, in true Alberta fashion I will tell you this about the great white north.
Canada needs Alberta...Alberta does not need Canada!
We here in Alberta would probably leave the rest of the country if it meant being able to buy beer in convenience stores like in the US. Just think of Alberta as "Texas North"...except instead of hurricanes we just get snow.
Last edited Jan 9, 2009 13:37:43
