First off, to the guys who moved up from BBB#13 with our team last season, and those that have seen this dog and pony show before, I am changing the name of the weekly picks because its shorter and I am lazy.
To the rest of the guys on here, a disclaimer. If you are going to argue the accuracy of my picks....have at it. Don't care now...won't care then. And if you have your itty bitty feelings hurt easily you may not want to read any farther.
Anyways....at the advice of my lawyer (and the voices in my head)...onto the picks for week one.
Lets start in the East....and the West...cause we cross conferences for week one.
Rochester vs Little Rock- Soooooeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!! Petrino leaves, Falcons make it to the playoffs. How beautiful is that. Not that it has anything to do with this game but I just have to let Silky and the rest of the piggies choke on that. Speaking of choking, the Red Raiders logo looks like the Chicago BlackHawks logo with a hotdog jammed down his windpipe. Look for the piggies to win this game if they can avoid kneeling on the ball at the same time as they are trying to score
Winnipeg Vs Montreal- Winnipeg....proof that hell can freeze over. Montreal....proof that it can freeze over AND have everyone speak French. Take the English version to get a narrow win.
Grim Afterlife vs Sacramento Sacrilege- My, what a couple of uplifting sounding teams we have here. Players from the losing team poke themselves in the eye with a fork to help dull the pain of the loss. Players from the winning team poke themselves in the eye with a fork to celebrate the victory. Take the Afterlife to win.
Borts Wrath vs Texas Hogsnakes- Since I have no idea of the story behind the Wrath I will assume they are the only team gutsy enough to use Borts "less than manly" avatar as the team Logo. Look for the snakes to pop mister happys balloon and pick up the win.
Sault Ste Marie (proper spelling) Silver Bullets vs Alberta Aces and Eights- I went to SSM when I was a kid. Don't remember much about it. Just enough to know not to go back as an adult. Look for the Go Fish boys to win.
Atlanta vs Lake Michigan- The Flash have a number of players that have pics of Atlanta Falcons for their avatar. Lets just hand them the league crown right now!!!! The Flash begin the run to perfection with a win in week one.
Ohio Valley Legends vs Texas Death Dealers- Based on team names the most shocking thing to me in this game is that the Legends have more than 2 or 3 players on it. Almost as shocking is Texas doesn't have about 500,000. Take the Dealers to win as they are not a fictional character, unlike their opponent.
Saskatoon vs Halifax- Two of Canadas most boring cities clash in this battle. Who wins????? Who cares? The best we can hope for is a tie.
Thunder Bay vs Dictators- Thunder Bay....I went there as a kid too. Its kind of like Sault Ste Marie but without all the glitz, glamor and movie stars. Dictators start the season with a win.
Spooner vs Hudson Bay- Ah, back to the Spooning jokes. Of course you are playing a bunch of Whores so they may enjoy your advances. Take the Fleas to win and the Horrors not to enjoy the cuddling.
Regina vs Niagara- The Outlaws theme song is "Desperado" by the Eagles as they are truly a one man Show. I will take that over "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. Regina wins.
Canada Defenders vs Weyburn Wolverines- The fact somebody named their team after Weyburn took guts. No brains....just guts. If Saskatchewan is the a-hole of Canada then Weyburn is one of dangling turds that won't hit the water at the bottom of the bowl. Take the Defenders to win.
Grande Prairie vs Ontario- The smelliest game of the week between the Muskies and the Beavers. There are too many jokes involving stinky beavers and dead fish to even get started here so I will just take GP to win and stop while I am ahead.
Alberta Stampede vs SpongeBob SquarePants- word is the All-stars may dare break out a THIRD offensive play to mark the beginning of the season. This is just a rumor so take it for what its worth. Also take the BBB#13 champs to break open the playbook and pick up the win.
Verdun Invictus vs Alert Sentinels- I know where I am in southern Alberta it is colder than a titches wit right now with a major blizzard going on. I can only imagine Alert right now. Take the snowmen to win. Verdun....the entire meaning of your team may be just too damn deep for any of us here to understand.
And finally....Alberta Beef vs International Falls Bronkos. I never pick my own teams games so I am leaving this one alone. However, we would like to welcome the Bronkos to the SlaughterHouse. I am just glad we don't have to travel all the way to Koochiching County, Minnesota for the game.
To the rest of the guys on here, a disclaimer. If you are going to argue the accuracy of my picks....have at it. Don't care now...won't care then. And if you have your itty bitty feelings hurt easily you may not want to read any farther.
Anyways....at the advice of my lawyer (and the voices in my head)...onto the picks for week one.
Lets start in the East....and the West...cause we cross conferences for week one.
Rochester vs Little Rock- Soooooeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!! Petrino leaves, Falcons make it to the playoffs. How beautiful is that. Not that it has anything to do with this game but I just have to let Silky and the rest of the piggies choke on that. Speaking of choking, the Red Raiders logo looks like the Chicago BlackHawks logo with a hotdog jammed down his windpipe. Look for the piggies to win this game if they can avoid kneeling on the ball at the same time as they are trying to score
Winnipeg Vs Montreal- Winnipeg....proof that hell can freeze over. Montreal....proof that it can freeze over AND have everyone speak French. Take the English version to get a narrow win.
Grim Afterlife vs Sacramento Sacrilege- My, what a couple of uplifting sounding teams we have here. Players from the losing team poke themselves in the eye with a fork to help dull the pain of the loss. Players from the winning team poke themselves in the eye with a fork to celebrate the victory. Take the Afterlife to win.
Borts Wrath vs Texas Hogsnakes- Since I have no idea of the story behind the Wrath I will assume they are the only team gutsy enough to use Borts "less than manly" avatar as the team Logo. Look for the snakes to pop mister happys balloon and pick up the win.
Sault Ste Marie (proper spelling) Silver Bullets vs Alberta Aces and Eights- I went to SSM when I was a kid. Don't remember much about it. Just enough to know not to go back as an adult. Look for the Go Fish boys to win.
Atlanta vs Lake Michigan- The Flash have a number of players that have pics of Atlanta Falcons for their avatar. Lets just hand them the league crown right now!!!! The Flash begin the run to perfection with a win in week one.
Ohio Valley Legends vs Texas Death Dealers- Based on team names the most shocking thing to me in this game is that the Legends have more than 2 or 3 players on it. Almost as shocking is Texas doesn't have about 500,000. Take the Dealers to win as they are not a fictional character, unlike their opponent.
Saskatoon vs Halifax- Two of Canadas most boring cities clash in this battle. Who wins????? Who cares? The best we can hope for is a tie.
Thunder Bay vs Dictators- Thunder Bay....I went there as a kid too. Its kind of like Sault Ste Marie but without all the glitz, glamor and movie stars. Dictators start the season with a win.
Spooner vs Hudson Bay- Ah, back to the Spooning jokes. Of course you are playing a bunch of Whores so they may enjoy your advances. Take the Fleas to win and the Horrors not to enjoy the cuddling.
Regina vs Niagara- The Outlaws theme song is "Desperado" by the Eagles as they are truly a one man Show. I will take that over "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. Regina wins.
Canada Defenders vs Weyburn Wolverines- The fact somebody named their team after Weyburn took guts. No brains....just guts. If Saskatchewan is the a-hole of Canada then Weyburn is one of dangling turds that won't hit the water at the bottom of the bowl. Take the Defenders to win.
Grande Prairie vs Ontario- The smelliest game of the week between the Muskies and the Beavers. There are too many jokes involving stinky beavers and dead fish to even get started here so I will just take GP to win and stop while I am ahead.
Alberta Stampede vs SpongeBob SquarePants- word is the All-stars may dare break out a THIRD offensive play to mark the beginning of the season. This is just a rumor so take it for what its worth. Also take the BBB#13 champs to break open the playbook and pick up the win.
Verdun Invictus vs Alert Sentinels- I know where I am in southern Alberta it is colder than a titches wit right now with a major blizzard going on. I can only imagine Alert right now. Take the snowmen to win. Verdun....the entire meaning of your team may be just too damn deep for any of us here to understand.
And finally....Alberta Beef vs International Falls Bronkos. I never pick my own teams games so I am leaving this one alone. However, we would like to welcome the Bronkos to the SlaughterHouse. I am just glad we don't have to travel all the way to Koochiching County, Minnesota for the game.
Last edited Jan 2, 2009 14:41:00
