Warrior General Games

We're live in East Algoma where we have breaking news that the man...the myth...the legend...Gotcha McGillicuddy himself has just sat down for his evening meal.

RI: Gotcha! Gotcha! It is me again! Rachel Iwanthalfyerdough! Can I get a quick exclusive with you?!?

Gotcha: B*tch...You must still be crazy...Always buttin' into my personal bizness...Can't you see I'm tryin' to eat this here damn burrito?

RI: "Gotcha! We have breaking news that Flex Apollo, starting tight end for the Laval Lumberjacks has stated that he will make, and I quote, 'multiple catches on you and make orphans of your disfigured bastard children.' He also asked us to show you this play *shows play on teleprompter* in which he makes a catch on not one...not two...but three defenders."

http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=265352&pbp_id=84488

Gotcha, after taking a bite of his burrito: "Apollo? Isn't that the guy who got beat down by some Russian guy or something in amateur hour boxing? Am I supposed to be impressed with this guy? Look at those 3 foo's tryin' to play defense...Gotcha has more talent in his pinky finger than those guys."

RI: "I see...And your thoughts about his comments about 'disfigured bastard children?'"

Gotcha: "Come on now hot lips...Yer never gonna make it in journalism with this kind of reporting...unless well...*Gotcha shakes himself off*...Nah...Never mind that...Point is that this here Rocky fella..."

RI, interrupting: "Apollo"

Gotcha: *glares* "Oh no you didn't woman...Oh no you didn't....Now, where was I? Oh yes...This Clubber fella, well, see, he's like this here burrito. *points to burrito* All silky smooth on the outside, but just a big ol' mess in the middle with that kinda talk...Gotcha thinks you should tell him he needs to find him some Jesus ya know...Show some respect to those who have been there...Done that...*points to bling*...Hoisted it up baby...Know what I'm sayin'? The only thing in that guy's trophy case is outdated prophylactics."

RI: "I'm sure the replay of this broadcast tonight will inform him for you Gotcha. Is there anything you'd like to say before we go?"

Gotcha: "First off toots, Gotcha does the walkin' off...Not you's guys...Hear what I'm sayin'? And yeah, since you came and interrupted my dinner...How many games this scrub Pauly play? 2 so far? What's his line look like currently?"

RI: "Line? I don't understand."

Gotcha: "Oh Goddamnit woman...His stat line! Jesus...*looks around and speaks to anyone willing to listen* Will somebody get me a damn male sportscaster for the love of pete's sake!"

RI: "Gotcha, I've reminded you once and I will do so again, I demand to be treated with the respect that any other sportscaster, and for that matter, human deserves...Now, as for the "stat line"...He has 6 catches for 76 yards so far through 2 games this season."

Gotcha: "Oh heeeellll naw! Y'all gots ta be out to lunch! Hell f*cking no. Look at this...You brought Gotcha to swears! Are you serious? *stands up, drops burrito on the floor of the restaurant and starts walking away* (mumbling) Crazy b*tch rollin' up on me when any ol' scrub starts runnin' his yap...(inaudible)...should find a real man to do that job....*Voice raised angrily towards busboy* And clean that damn burrito up foo! You should be so lucky to pick up after Gotcha McGillicuddy and earning his 12% tip!


*fade to black*

sigh, crazy 21 nigga thinks he can compete with lvl 36 TEs, when he kicks your ass get ready for my TE ok? and FYI

quesadillas>burritos

Guess Gotcha was looking ahead he forgot about Westwood...though he did tip one

lolsok version 2 imo.

Originally posted by sxewesley
lolsok version 2 imo.

Gotcha no comprendo. Que?

Originally posted by Candesious
Guess Gotcha was looking ahead he forgot about Westwood...though he did tip one

It's hard work making all these tight ends nonfactors.

*shakes head sadly*

Forgive him Flex...he knows not what he does.

GLB Network
Laval, QC, Canada

Rachel: And now we're joined by Laval Lumberjacks tight end Flex Apollo, who has been heavily criticized by upstart Arena Rockers linebacker Gotcha McGillicuddy. Flex, thanks for being here.

Flex: No problem Rachel.

Rachel: Flex, first off, what do you have to say about the very public, very colorful statements Gotcha has made in these past few days about you?

Flex: Well, I've always been one to let my actions on the field do the talking. I know that some of these other young guys get their first sniff of money start acting like idiots, calling out those who have actually earned their reputations before ever doing a single thing to prove themselves. I would definitely list Gotcha in their number.

Rachel: While plenty of folks around the league would agree with you that Gotcha may be a little...

Flex: ...delusional?

Rachel: I was actually going to say overrated. Perhaps preemptively confident would be the best way of phrasing it.

Flex: However you have to spin it Rachel. The problem with Gotcha being called overrated is that in order to be OVERrated, you first must be rated. And to be honest, I don't exactly hear about offensive coordinators in the league shifting their gameplans to accommodate him at linebacker like they do for Aaron Roy or Granite Wall. In fact, all I ever seem to hear about that jackass comes right from his own mouth.

Rachel: You do have a point there. What about his questioning of your seemingly lackluster production this season?

Flex: Two games played. Two touchdowns. Two games of 150 or more rushing yards. Two BIG wins for my team. I play for the win first, if that means splitting time with another great player like Duane Reno and run blocking two out of every four downs, so be it. I'd rather hoist a championship trophy over my head than catch ten balls every game. Not to mention that a starter averaging three tackles a game is bringing stats into his dialogue.

Rachel: Admirable. Flex, I don't want to take up any more of your time, so one last question: what do you foresee happening between Laval and Algoma on December 1st?

Flex: I hope they sell flowers at Algoma Field, because after the game I'm going to be hosting a funeral for Gotcha's dignity.

Rachel: Thank you Flex. A clear message sent to the "delusional" Arena Rockers linebacker: talk is cheap, play the game.

Now this is how you get the forum rocking!

Gotcha knew that Rachel was a two-timin' b*tch.

*shakes head*

"Dumb broad tryin' to make a name for herself interviewin' scrubs that were lucky enough to have Gotcha's shadow cast upon them....Hmph...She'll come crawlin' back after her 37th story about butter churning up in that hellhole...Yes she will...As if that Adrian guy is going to rake 'em in like Gotcha does...6 catches...Oh God...Where doe they find these people? "

*breathes in fresh air*

***We break from this scene for an urgent news bulletin*

Fan favorite and all around great guy Gotcha McGillicuddy was in Algoma earlier today meeting with the the city's representatives as well as representatives from the Canadian and Wisconsin administrations...He was there helping to finalize and make official a probationary deal between the two which his presence has made possible.

Roughly 60 days ago, in an effort to boost the Canadian economy, the Canadians agreed to a probationary purchase of the city of Algoma with the State of Wisconsin, who had just received a new sports team which was lucky enough to sign-even though he claims it is the other way around-the Michael Jordan of linebackers-Gotcha McGillicuddy.

Citing woeful economic hardship in many current areas of the country-most notably the city of Laval-a festering pit infused with a leacherous workforce comprised of individuals that think they can steal the jobs of helpless offensive lineman and wide receivers by downsizing them both.

Gotcha's presence, a beacon of hope in this vast economic wasteland, has had an immediate impact and the Canadian dollar has risen 37% against the world financial powers since the infusion of Algoma, and most importantly, Gotchamania.

There was a bit of tension in the air on the side of the cheesehead administration, realizing that they pissed away their best revenue opportunity since deer hunting license fees and speeding tickets, and it was rumored that there would be a lawsuit filed for an injunction to stop the deal, but the Canadians had the deal locked up legally tight, much like a win for the Chicago Bears when the play the Green Bay Packers.


* That wraps it up here in Algoma. We now return you to your regular scheduled movie: "6 catches for 76 yards: A story of futility and lost hope" *

GLB network
Laval, QC, Canada
subject: Ryan Grants opinions

Rachel: Ryan i would like to thank you for coming on the show today

Ryan: Not a Problem at all, not like i gotta scout Laval Lumberjacks or anything *ryan laughs for a few seconds along with the crowd*

Rachel: speaking of your next game, well... first lets talk about what you have already done this season, i heard you had 19 player leave this offseason and you recruited your team back to health?

Ryan: yes, i took owner ship of (was Thunder Bay Titans) Thunder Bay Sabertooths around day 6 of last season. Team was unhappy for reasons i still do not understand and half wanted to leave. the worst part was all my CBs wanted to leave and we all know how hard it is to find one of those with a decent build for once. *crowd applauses*

Rachel: Tell me about it, well lets talk about your first 2 games. you are currently 2-0 and tied for first place. sure you played a gutted team in Philidelphia Legends, but the Kodiak team is no laughing matter this season.

Ryan: that is definitely true Rachel, for those "new comers" this season. last season the kodiak team was one of the gutted teams that nobody necessarily needed to scout for. this year they have recruited just as good as any team in the league. was a tough win but we were able to pull off the win. and learned a very important lesson about the al settings.

Rachel: what about the al settings?

Ryan: well we mistakenly set the al to kneel the ball with 1 min left in ANY quarter, when we were down at their 20 we kneeled it 4 times and lost the ball on downs. that is one reason the game was much closer then i wanted it to be.

Rachel: were going to skip ahead to the algoma on november 17th. what do you like and disklike about this team? i can personally say after Gotchas Remarks that the team came from a BBB Team full of cockiness thinking they would win it all.

Ryan: i like what this team has done, they did very well last season and i respect StunmanRoo very much now. but the first thing hes gotta learn to do is control his players. "picture of Gotcha comes on the screen". this "superior LB" is very low leveled toward the league and he has not proven him self in any way in my opinion. he needs to keep his mouth shut and let his player do the talking first. once his LB does something productive he can talk. just wait till november 17th pal, your talking about shutting down TEs? i got one of the best in the league.

Rachel: well put Ryan, we are running short on time so I am going to ask one more question. what are your expectations of making the playoffs and making a run

Ryan: We have greatly improved over the offseason, and wouldnt expect anything less then playoffs. we still have some very good teams in our confrence though. such as Memphis and Tradewest. of course who can forget Laval and Westwood too. i do not expect to be in the top 4, top 6 would seem acceptable.

Rachel: thanks Ryan, we were very glad to have you on the show.

Ryan: no problem, maybe we can do this again november 16th, i dont need to gameplan for Algoma either.

*a huge roar comes from the crowd of laughter and clapping as the show cuts to commercial*

thats a interview.... learn from what you know now boys....

*in front of TV later on in the afternoon, Gotcha sits at his couch while eating some movie theatre Orville Reddenbacher and turns the news*

Click...Flip...Flip...Flip....

"Rachel: what about the al settings?"

*eyes widen*

"That crazy b*tch did not just ask that, did she? Aw hell naw. She must be crazy! That sh*t is gonna sell about as good as the XFL did....Damn....I told them about the damn butter churning...but they one-upped me...Guess you can't underestimate these folks when it comes to futility...and I thought tight ends were pathetic..."

*laughs heartily*

*flips to Sanford and Son rerun*


-fade to black-

-fade in real quick-

"CRAZY!!! She's f*cking CRAZY!!!! DAMN!"

-fade back to black-

haha, you make me laugh jiddy!