Bel Air Unfaithful Bail Early
Bel Air Beardogs 27
New Brunswick n00bs 17
Many of you probably don't know billionaires, but one thing that they aren't is patient. As the 3rd quarter came to a close the Beardogs found themselves down 17 to 10 with severe problems establishing drives. What was the result of this mediocre play on the crowd?
In the 3rd quarter, many fans literally VOMITTED in the stands. Whether this strange activity was due to the Beardogs poor play or the fact that it was $1 hot dog night at the stadium, we here at the Billionaire have yet to discover! We were able to catch up with little Jimmy McJimmigans, however, and ask him how he felt about the Beardogs first promotion of the season -
J. McJimmigans : "I liked it hehe. A lot better then $10 prepaid phone card night like they had last year."
The Beardogs stepped up during crunch time, posting a 17 point 4th quarter to solidify the win against a tough New Brunswick squad. The crowd was heard bouncing "Alexander" "Be" "Reasonable!" back and forth as the Cornerback made tackle after tackle. Though Alex remains a fan favorite, he was outdone on this night by Jazz Townes whose 7 tackles and 1 sack in only 38 plays led the team.
Jazz wasn't the defensive hero, however. With just under 3 minutes left in the 4th, Ben Stiller stepped in front of a Colts Kid pass and returned it 43 yards for the Touchdown, putting the game out of reach for the n00bs. The Beardogs fully condoned endzone celebrations today, as Stiller was seen flashing Blue Steel before being bombarded by his Beardog teammates!
AROUND THE LEAGUE
We asked for increased heart rate, and that is what we received this week in the Western conference. Four matchups were decided by less than a touchdown with several others being decided by lead changes in the fourth quarter.
(A) Miami 3
(H) Spicewood 10
An RJ Stew touchdown pass early was all the Longhorns would need as their defense paved the way to victory lane, holding the Miami ground game to 45 yards. How do you win with defense? Well, you can't miss many tackles and Spicewood certainly didn't.
(A) Waco 16
(H) Denver 13
The Game of the Week certainly lived up to its billing. With only 1:39 left in the 4th, the game was tied and very much in question as both teams were capable of stealing the W. If the Davidians and the Pirates defense were pitchers, then this was some pitcher's duel! There was only one offensive touchdown (A Pirates pass to Lincoln) in this contest. Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic carried the Davidians on this night, going 3/3 including the game winning 33 yard field goal with only 5 seconds remaining! We phoned Denver starting quarterback Hayden Fry asking him what the effect of this loss would be on the team : "It definitly wasn't easy but you can't with them all. We'll rally, you never want to lose but I think this really brought out team together and showed us we can compete with the best." I heard some random Pirates fan mumbling something about the NY Giants playing the NE Patriots in the regular season, losing a close one, and then beating them in the "Super Bowl." Personally, I think he made it up but if this psycho's story parallels reality, the Pirates and Davidians will see each other again.
(A) RGB 7
(H) Las Vegas 54
RGB was bludgeoned for the second straight week (though they were able to put points on the board to avoid consecutive shutouts). The Stunners certainly lived up to their name, posting 7 touchdowns (4 rushing, 3 passing) on their way to 319 rushing yards and 543 yards of total offense. The rowdy Las Vegas crowd certainly got their moneys worth on this night. Possible play of the week candidate goes to Johnathan Gaines who broke 2 tackles on his way to a 64 yard touchdown reception.
(A) Portland 31
(H) Hartford 34
The gun sounded and then Portland found themselves down by 7. Huh? What kind of trickery is this! Its the kind weaved by Jimmy McNulty II of Hartford who returned the opening kickoff 91 yards and gave the Hellhounds an early lead. Portland and their massively imbalanced offensive was able to airmail their way into contention in the 4th but fell short as they were unable to regain possession for a chance at a winning drive.
(A) Dallas 10
(H) Oakland 27
The story of this game is one of slow starts. Fans who paid for this one weren't rewarded for their investment until late in the 2nd quarter with the games first touchdown. This opened the proverbial flood gates, however, as Oakland went on to post 3 TDs in the game. Oakland's star CB Method Mann showed off with 7 tackles in only 26 plays. Questions quickly arose about possible illicit drug use as fans noticed strange behavior from Method Mann on the field.
(A) Scottsdale 28
(H) Ambridge 10
Supposedly, points come out of the passing game. But in this one, which posted only 293 passing yards for both teams combined, that definitly was not the case. Scottsdale bulldozed its way to victory posting 194 rushing yards on the tired Ambridge defense and 3 rushing touchdowns.
(A) Chicago 9
(H) Grand Haven 7
Grand Haven returned home after a demoralizing loss to the Davidians and, though the season is still young, desperately sought a win to right the ship. Their prayers were nearly answered as they took the lead with 2:46 left in the 3rd but their defense couldn't hold. Chicago reclaimed the lead in the 4th and never looked back.
CLOSING STATEMENT
There is no parity in this Western conference thus far this season. Waco, Las Vegas, and Hartford have all posted 75 or more points so far in only two games. Coupled with the fact that Las Vegas and Waco have only surrended 20 points COMBINED so far this season, the league may be in for an uphill battle.
Bel Air Beardogs 27
New Brunswick n00bs 17
Many of you probably don't know billionaires, but one thing that they aren't is patient. As the 3rd quarter came to a close the Beardogs found themselves down 17 to 10 with severe problems establishing drives. What was the result of this mediocre play on the crowd?
In the 3rd quarter, many fans literally VOMITTED in the stands. Whether this strange activity was due to the Beardogs poor play or the fact that it was $1 hot dog night at the stadium, we here at the Billionaire have yet to discover! We were able to catch up with little Jimmy McJimmigans, however, and ask him how he felt about the Beardogs first promotion of the season -
J. McJimmigans : "I liked it hehe. A lot better then $10 prepaid phone card night like they had last year."
The Beardogs stepped up during crunch time, posting a 17 point 4th quarter to solidify the win against a tough New Brunswick squad. The crowd was heard bouncing "Alexander" "Be" "Reasonable!" back and forth as the Cornerback made tackle after tackle. Though Alex remains a fan favorite, he was outdone on this night by Jazz Townes whose 7 tackles and 1 sack in only 38 plays led the team.
Jazz wasn't the defensive hero, however. With just under 3 minutes left in the 4th, Ben Stiller stepped in front of a Colts Kid pass and returned it 43 yards for the Touchdown, putting the game out of reach for the n00bs. The Beardogs fully condoned endzone celebrations today, as Stiller was seen flashing Blue Steel before being bombarded by his Beardog teammates!
AROUND THE LEAGUE
We asked for increased heart rate, and that is what we received this week in the Western conference. Four matchups were decided by less than a touchdown with several others being decided by lead changes in the fourth quarter.
(A) Miami 3
(H) Spicewood 10
An RJ Stew touchdown pass early was all the Longhorns would need as their defense paved the way to victory lane, holding the Miami ground game to 45 yards. How do you win with defense? Well, you can't miss many tackles and Spicewood certainly didn't.
(A) Waco 16
(H) Denver 13
The Game of the Week certainly lived up to its billing. With only 1:39 left in the 4th, the game was tied and very much in question as both teams were capable of stealing the W. If the Davidians and the Pirates defense were pitchers, then this was some pitcher's duel! There was only one offensive touchdown (A Pirates pass to Lincoln) in this contest. Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic carried the Davidians on this night, going 3/3 including the game winning 33 yard field goal with only 5 seconds remaining! We phoned Denver starting quarterback Hayden Fry asking him what the effect of this loss would be on the team : "It definitly wasn't easy but you can't with them all. We'll rally, you never want to lose but I think this really brought out team together and showed us we can compete with the best." I heard some random Pirates fan mumbling something about the NY Giants playing the NE Patriots in the regular season, losing a close one, and then beating them in the "Super Bowl." Personally, I think he made it up but if this psycho's story parallels reality, the Pirates and Davidians will see each other again.
(A) RGB 7
(H) Las Vegas 54
RGB was bludgeoned for the second straight week (though they were able to put points on the board to avoid consecutive shutouts). The Stunners certainly lived up to their name, posting 7 touchdowns (4 rushing, 3 passing) on their way to 319 rushing yards and 543 yards of total offense. The rowdy Las Vegas crowd certainly got their moneys worth on this night. Possible play of the week candidate goes to Johnathan Gaines who broke 2 tackles on his way to a 64 yard touchdown reception.
(A) Portland 31
(H) Hartford 34
The gun sounded and then Portland found themselves down by 7. Huh? What kind of trickery is this! Its the kind weaved by Jimmy McNulty II of Hartford who returned the opening kickoff 91 yards and gave the Hellhounds an early lead. Portland and their massively imbalanced offensive was able to airmail their way into contention in the 4th but fell short as they were unable to regain possession for a chance at a winning drive.
(A) Dallas 10
(H) Oakland 27
The story of this game is one of slow starts. Fans who paid for this one weren't rewarded for their investment until late in the 2nd quarter with the games first touchdown. This opened the proverbial flood gates, however, as Oakland went on to post 3 TDs in the game. Oakland's star CB Method Mann showed off with 7 tackles in only 26 plays. Questions quickly arose about possible illicit drug use as fans noticed strange behavior from Method Mann on the field.
(A) Scottsdale 28
(H) Ambridge 10
Supposedly, points come out of the passing game. But in this one, which posted only 293 passing yards for both teams combined, that definitly was not the case. Scottsdale bulldozed its way to victory posting 194 rushing yards on the tired Ambridge defense and 3 rushing touchdowns.
(A) Chicago 9
(H) Grand Haven 7
Grand Haven returned home after a demoralizing loss to the Davidians and, though the season is still young, desperately sought a win to right the ship. Their prayers were nearly answered as they took the lead with 2:46 left in the 3rd but their defense couldn't hold. Chicago reclaimed the lead in the 4th and never looked back.
CLOSING STATEMENT
There is no parity in this Western conference thus far this season. Waco, Las Vegas, and Hartford have all posted 75 or more points so far in only two games. Coupled with the fact that Las Vegas and Waco have only surrended 20 points COMBINED so far this season, the league may be in for an uphill battle.
Last edited Apr 29, 2008 09:07:15
