Reporter: We're here with the suddenly silent receiver, Freddie Mitchell...
Freddie: That's "Freddie Cuatro y Dos Seis" to you.
Reporter: Excuse me?
Freddie: Yep, I changed my name. Management wants to increase jersey sales so we can compete in the free agent market with Botswana. I don't know how they're gonna fit all that shit on the back of my jersey, but if they figure it out, I'll roll with it.
Reporter: So that loss against Botswana must have been tough to swallow, eh?
Freddie: Yep. Damn shame they kept me out of the end zone, too, I had some grandiose shit planned for those Botswanans.
Reporter: Such as?
Freddie: Can't tell. Just wait until next season.
Reporter: What do you think of the feud between the owners of Botswana and Iowa?
Freddie: Well, Brit was always a cool dude, but being around ME-3 does weird shit to people. I sent three of my Freddie's Foxxxes to ME-3's room the night before the game so he wouldn't get any sleep. It worked, but one of them forgot how to tell time, one is growing facial hair, and the third has developed a strange attraction to amputees. Frankly, I'm flabbergasted.
Reporter: Well that's... interesting. So are you looking forward to competing at the AAA level next season?
Freddie: Definitely; I've done my part here in AA, and have hopefully shown future star receivers at this level how it's supposed to be done. As a matter of fact I'll be presenting the First Down Freddie Award to the best receiver in AA #3 each season. So even though I may be gone, my legacy will live on.
Reporter: That's a nice gesture, Freddie.
Freddie: Definitely. You should see the trophy, too; really accentuates my biceps.
Reporter: That's wonderful. So, any parting words before we wrap it up?
Freddie: Yep. ME-3, you still sit down when you pee! My rap album may be being pushed back by the damn label, but when it gets out, it will spread across the Africa faster than AIDS! Your name will be worthless, just like your game! FUCK BOTSWANA...
Reporter: That will be enough.
Freddie: That's "Freddie Cuatro y Dos Seis" to you.
Reporter: Excuse me?
Freddie: Yep, I changed my name. Management wants to increase jersey sales so we can compete in the free agent market with Botswana. I don't know how they're gonna fit all that shit on the back of my jersey, but if they figure it out, I'll roll with it.
Reporter: So that loss against Botswana must have been tough to swallow, eh?
Freddie: Yep. Damn shame they kept me out of the end zone, too, I had some grandiose shit planned for those Botswanans.
Reporter: Such as?
Freddie: Can't tell. Just wait until next season.
Reporter: What do you think of the feud between the owners of Botswana and Iowa?
Freddie: Well, Brit was always a cool dude, but being around ME-3 does weird shit to people. I sent three of my Freddie's Foxxxes to ME-3's room the night before the game so he wouldn't get any sleep. It worked, but one of them forgot how to tell time, one is growing facial hair, and the third has developed a strange attraction to amputees. Frankly, I'm flabbergasted.
Reporter: Well that's... interesting. So are you looking forward to competing at the AAA level next season?
Freddie: Definitely; I've done my part here in AA, and have hopefully shown future star receivers at this level how it's supposed to be done. As a matter of fact I'll be presenting the First Down Freddie Award to the best receiver in AA #3 each season. So even though I may be gone, my legacy will live on.
Reporter: That's a nice gesture, Freddie.
Freddie: Definitely. You should see the trophy, too; really accentuates my biceps.
Reporter: That's wonderful. So, any parting words before we wrap it up?
Freddie: Yep. ME-3, you still sit down when you pee! My rap album may be being pushed back by the damn label, but when it gets out, it will spread across the Africa faster than AIDS! Your name will be worthless, just like your game! FUCK BOTSWANA...
Reporter: That will be enough.
