by Franklin Dixon of Goal Line Blitz News. We don't make news; we break news. In the face.
Tasmania's prayer was answered late with 14 carries and 58 yards that cemented their status as the third best team in this conference. Alice Springs beat Newcastle which beat Tasmania which beat Fiji. Hey, this time there's no Gordian knot! One could argue that this entrenches the teams for awhile, but then one looks at the marquee matchup and realizes that there is no "awhile" for any team, save for Buen Retiro's waiting "awhile" to finally go to A ball and stop wasting all of our time.
This week has matchups featuring higher-ranked teams facing lower-ranked teams. The top nine, save for Perth, face off against each other. Three matchups are teams with home games in the 1st round vs. teams with away games in the first round. This can only benefit teams not participating, namely Perth and the three 2-4 teams. Last week's question was who's #3. This week's question: who's #8?
Ross Games: Pretend like you have money when you don't, at Ross.
(16)OA7 @ (7)Perth
Perth has a 6-man front office, none of whom talk on this forum. They have slowly, slowly gotten to an understanding with this game. My guess is that they are too busy in real life to peruse the forums as much as we do, so they're just content with success when expected and failure when inevitable. This falls under "success when expected." OA7 can't wait to get the hell out. They've had like 5 owners since brady2moss2endzone, an admitted idiot, and his crew left. Hell, at this point, I'd like to take the team myself and try my hand at making it competitive. Maybe shield.bearer, dutchboyx9, to544 and reedric should come together, co-own the team, and have fun trying to salvage the situation.
(10)Hamilton @ (15)OA8
Replays http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007250 were conclusive that Hamilton was stopped short on 4th down. However, Kevin Bartlett at 1116 SEN Sports Radio criticized Hamilton for checking down to the running back 3 times on their last drive. Sure, your WRs aren't great, but they were open! Hash had the first down http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007193 and Charlie had green down the middle http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007216 What can Hamilton do to appease the fans? Well, they'll do the same thing Ohio State always does: schedule Ohio U and hypnotize the fans with a blowout against a fake team.
Gap Games: We were cool 10 years ago, remember? Remember?
(11)Rockhampton @ (12)Wollongong
The biggest thing to note about their start is their 4 losses are against teams ranked 2 4 3 and 1. Wait, that's 1 2 3 4, the top 4 teams in the league! They barely beat Apia and Hamilton, implying they're slightly better than the dregs. Their road to a 8 seed starts in po's playground. If Rockhampton are to make a challenge, they must start NOW. On the other side, johnbarber said that po, Ahoda and him have been throwing spaghetti on the wall with their tactics. Unsurprisingly, they forgot to wait until the water was boiling to put the spaghetti in, so they barely beat Apia and got thrashed by everyone else. Are they worse than Rockhampton? The answer's yes, because Wollongong is 2-4 and has only faced one of the top 4 teams in the league. Oh yeah, and after this game, they get to face the other 3 back to back to deadly back.
(14)Apia @ (13)Dharma
Apia? Show fight? You're kidding right? We probably should have expected this after the valiant but failed effort at Rockhampton in Game 3. What is Apia's issue? Is it simply that they don't have the firepower at their current levels to hang with everyone else? It didn't help that they punted with 4:55 to go from their own 47. Buck-buck-brawwwwwkkkkk. This is Goal Line Blitz, not croquet. Try that crap again, and you'll continue to lose to teams you could beat. Dharma did a better-than-expected job scoring 21 points on a well-known Newcastle D. How did they do it? Well when they cooked their spaghetti, they let the water boil a little bit before putting it in. Too bad the spaghetti was store-brand.
Banana Republic Games: You're a prick and you know it. Don't try to hide it by not wearing our clothes.
(2)Newcastle @ (8)Woolloomooloo
Forget this long name, I'm calling them Woo from now on. Woo beat a Hamilton team that could threaten for the playoffs. That establishes the Wombats as a team in the playoff hunt. Hell, they're hte 8th seed now, right? Right. So they have a chance ... sadly, they host a team that doesn't give a crap about sentiment. Everyone's rooting for Woo to do what Alice Springs did and put Newcastle in its place. Everyone's also rooting for Chuck to finally bang his secret agent. Life's too fair, and so are statistical sims. Woo, there's always the next two weeks against Apia and Rockhampton.
(9)Forrest Run @ (4)Fiji
Fiji got Louyah'd to the 4th spot in the conference. They're 2 in standings due to PF, but we all know they're the 4th best team until the prove they can beat someone. Forrest Run serves as a great appetizer to another titanic matchup against Alice Springs. I'm still calling them Forrest Run, even though they have a DT and a CB that could call themselves the new leaders. Why? Because he's Forrest Run, Oceania AA #4 Zeta legend. He's been outclassed lately by old nemesis Speedy and relatively new additions Ernie, Howie and Ari. Silence the reason is who the hell is going to worry about defending Anderson, Josh, Rick, Chuck and the rest of that barely edible passing game?
(6)Brisbane @ (5)Devonport
This is one of those classic battles for early playoff positioning. Actually, one could say this determines who gets home-field advantage if Fiji continues to falter. Brisbane has done nothing to justify their 4-2 mark. They won against 4 teams whose talent pools together still couldn't snap the ball correctly. They played competitively against two top teams, which means something according to Jay Mariotti. Then again, Jay Mariotti is the worst writer on the face of the planet. What they really have is a great WR core that can challenge any secondary. By levels, Devonport should easily win. Devonport should also be in the top4 chase, but they're not. Usually when you beat all the opponents you're supposed to beat early, you get praise for being good to start the season. Then you face the real meat (Newcastle in game 9, Tasmania and Alice Springs back 2 back late) and people say they weren't clutch enough to finish. Clutch had nothing to do with it; they are simply not good enough to beat the top 4 teams. If they lose this game, then they're probably left to count playoff ticket sharing revenues for their one-and-done postseason.
Brooks Brothers Game of the Week: Be classy. Be smart. Be sexy. Finally get the woman of your dreams by wearing Brooks Brothers.
(1)Alice Springs @ (3)Tasmania
ASRW proved themselves by taking the 4th quarter Eli Manning style in Newcastle. Tasmania proved themselves by teaching Fiji a lesson in running back builds in Tasmania's classroom. Now, Ernie and Alice Springs face Howie and the rest of Tasmania in a game that is useful to the entire conference; two will be playing while the rest will be scouting. Alice Springs has risen to the cream of this conference, while Tasmania has shown their slow-build strategy to work with great results. Will Sao finally reduce his craving for putting crayons in his mouth? Will ghettoshznt stop thinking backgammon is a more hardcore game than dice? Will shield.bearer finally stop touching himself every day? Will Woody Held finally play a bigger role than "worthy adversary?" Who will win? We find out at 10:30 Pacific time tomorrow!
Tasmania's prayer was answered late with 14 carries and 58 yards that cemented their status as the third best team in this conference. Alice Springs beat Newcastle which beat Tasmania which beat Fiji. Hey, this time there's no Gordian knot! One could argue that this entrenches the teams for awhile, but then one looks at the marquee matchup and realizes that there is no "awhile" for any team, save for Buen Retiro's waiting "awhile" to finally go to A ball and stop wasting all of our time.
This week has matchups featuring higher-ranked teams facing lower-ranked teams. The top nine, save for Perth, face off against each other. Three matchups are teams with home games in the 1st round vs. teams with away games in the first round. This can only benefit teams not participating, namely Perth and the three 2-4 teams. Last week's question was who's #3. This week's question: who's #8?
Ross Games: Pretend like you have money when you don't, at Ross.
(16)OA7 @ (7)Perth
Perth has a 6-man front office, none of whom talk on this forum. They have slowly, slowly gotten to an understanding with this game. My guess is that they are too busy in real life to peruse the forums as much as we do, so they're just content with success when expected and failure when inevitable. This falls under "success when expected." OA7 can't wait to get the hell out. They've had like 5 owners since brady2moss2endzone, an admitted idiot, and his crew left. Hell, at this point, I'd like to take the team myself and try my hand at making it competitive. Maybe shield.bearer, dutchboyx9, to544 and reedric should come together, co-own the team, and have fun trying to salvage the situation.
(10)Hamilton @ (15)OA8
Replays http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007250 were conclusive that Hamilton was stopped short on 4th down. However, Kevin Bartlett at 1116 SEN Sports Radio criticized Hamilton for checking down to the running back 3 times on their last drive. Sure, your WRs aren't great, but they were open! Hash had the first down http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007193 and Charlie had green down the middle http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=162897&pbp_id=4007216 What can Hamilton do to appease the fans? Well, they'll do the same thing Ohio State always does: schedule Ohio U and hypnotize the fans with a blowout against a fake team.
Gap Games: We were cool 10 years ago, remember? Remember?
(11)Rockhampton @ (12)Wollongong
The biggest thing to note about their start is their 4 losses are against teams ranked 2 4 3 and 1. Wait, that's 1 2 3 4, the top 4 teams in the league! They barely beat Apia and Hamilton, implying they're slightly better than the dregs. Their road to a 8 seed starts in po's playground. If Rockhampton are to make a challenge, they must start NOW. On the other side, johnbarber said that po, Ahoda and him have been throwing spaghetti on the wall with their tactics. Unsurprisingly, they forgot to wait until the water was boiling to put the spaghetti in, so they barely beat Apia and got thrashed by everyone else. Are they worse than Rockhampton? The answer's yes, because Wollongong is 2-4 and has only faced one of the top 4 teams in the league. Oh yeah, and after this game, they get to face the other 3 back to back to deadly back.
(14)Apia @ (13)Dharma
Apia? Show fight? You're kidding right? We probably should have expected this after the valiant but failed effort at Rockhampton in Game 3. What is Apia's issue? Is it simply that they don't have the firepower at their current levels to hang with everyone else? It didn't help that they punted with 4:55 to go from their own 47. Buck-buck-brawwwwwkkkkk. This is Goal Line Blitz, not croquet. Try that crap again, and you'll continue to lose to teams you could beat. Dharma did a better-than-expected job scoring 21 points on a well-known Newcastle D. How did they do it? Well when they cooked their spaghetti, they let the water boil a little bit before putting it in. Too bad the spaghetti was store-brand.
Banana Republic Games: You're a prick and you know it. Don't try to hide it by not wearing our clothes.
(2)Newcastle @ (8)Woolloomooloo
Forget this long name, I'm calling them Woo from now on. Woo beat a Hamilton team that could threaten for the playoffs. That establishes the Wombats as a team in the playoff hunt. Hell, they're hte 8th seed now, right? Right. So they have a chance ... sadly, they host a team that doesn't give a crap about sentiment. Everyone's rooting for Woo to do what Alice Springs did and put Newcastle in its place. Everyone's also rooting for Chuck to finally bang his secret agent. Life's too fair, and so are statistical sims. Woo, there's always the next two weeks against Apia and Rockhampton.
(9)Forrest Run @ (4)Fiji
Fiji got Louyah'd to the 4th spot in the conference. They're 2 in standings due to PF, but we all know they're the 4th best team until the prove they can beat someone. Forrest Run serves as a great appetizer to another titanic matchup against Alice Springs. I'm still calling them Forrest Run, even though they have a DT and a CB that could call themselves the new leaders. Why? Because he's Forrest Run, Oceania AA #4 Zeta legend. He's been outclassed lately by old nemesis Speedy and relatively new additions Ernie, Howie and Ari. Silence the reason is who the hell is going to worry about defending Anderson, Josh, Rick, Chuck and the rest of that barely edible passing game?
(6)Brisbane @ (5)Devonport
This is one of those classic battles for early playoff positioning. Actually, one could say this determines who gets home-field advantage if Fiji continues to falter. Brisbane has done nothing to justify their 4-2 mark. They won against 4 teams whose talent pools together still couldn't snap the ball correctly. They played competitively against two top teams, which means something according to Jay Mariotti. Then again, Jay Mariotti is the worst writer on the face of the planet. What they really have is a great WR core that can challenge any secondary. By levels, Devonport should easily win. Devonport should also be in the top4 chase, but they're not. Usually when you beat all the opponents you're supposed to beat early, you get praise for being good to start the season. Then you face the real meat (Newcastle in game 9, Tasmania and Alice Springs back 2 back late) and people say they weren't clutch enough to finish. Clutch had nothing to do with it; they are simply not good enough to beat the top 4 teams. If they lose this game, then they're probably left to count playoff ticket sharing revenues for their one-and-done postseason.
Brooks Brothers Game of the Week: Be classy. Be smart. Be sexy. Finally get the woman of your dreams by wearing Brooks Brothers.
(1)Alice Springs @ (3)Tasmania
ASRW proved themselves by taking the 4th quarter Eli Manning style in Newcastle. Tasmania proved themselves by teaching Fiji a lesson in running back builds in Tasmania's classroom. Now, Ernie and Alice Springs face Howie and the rest of Tasmania in a game that is useful to the entire conference; two will be playing while the rest will be scouting. Alice Springs has risen to the cream of this conference, while Tasmania has shown their slow-build strategy to work with great results. Will Sao finally reduce his craving for putting crayons in his mouth? Will ghettoshznt stop thinking backgammon is a more hardcore game than dice? Will shield.bearer finally stop touching himself every day? Will Woody Held finally play a bigger role than "worthy adversary?" Who will win? We find out at 10:30 Pacific time tomorrow!
Last edited Oct 2, 2008 15:37:53