TV camera starts to focus on Walter Horowitz, the venerable man of football lovers.
"Well GLB Fans! Its here, season 5 begins again!"
"I am here in Mongolia, reporting on the team that has scared people up and down the SouthEast for two seasons, the Mongolian Horde. The Horde, were formerly a sad expansion farm team for some shady GLB expansionists. Then came syrk08."
"Syrk08 to give you a little history, was the owner of an evil midget army. Yes, I kid you not. He breed and raised a small midget army that was for hire as mercenaries. Unfortuantely, syrk08 didnt to well in his first business venture. Once his army of midgets were destroyed by 2 inches or rain, he rethought his existance. Football.
He then picked up the ownership of the Horde from the previous owners and brought Zhrakkan on board."
"Zhrakkan, a friend of his, was a severed head collector. Yes, you heard me right, this sick bastard collected severed heads, some were even still juicy when he bought them. He came from a rich family, so he never had to hold down a job."
"Zhrakkan and Syrk08 started making sweeping changes to franchise, and actually relocated them from Bangkok, to the capital of Mongolia, Ulaanbaatar. One of the first changes they made together, was finding a hooded figure named Eaglesfan20."
"Eaglesfan20 is an enigma wrapped in a shadow, covered in a pancake. We dont know much, other than he likes pancakes from IHOP. Rumor has it, Zhrakkan owes him an IHOP to be put inside the new stadium that was built, The Mongol Stadium."
"Now, you know who the main people of the Head Office are like, lets got further."
"The Mongol people, have begged and pleaded for an expansion team for years. The GLB expansion consortium gave them the finger. Syrk/Zak/Eagle, found that Mongolia was a hotbed for football, and was frothing at the mouth for a team that was there to show the mighty fear the Mongol people can produce."
"In Season 3, The Horde, just missed the playoffs. They had a mean offensive line, but could not get the TDs."
"Season 4 came, and Syrk and Eagle made sweeping changes again, to the team. The people of Mongolia were worked up to a frenzy. They ended up in the playoffs, but lost the second game."
"Now, here we are, Season 5. Now I will tell you where they are."
"Syrk has brought in two new people to help in striking up the blood frenzy from the people. First is Reich. He has been the scout, that have been searching the countryside for people to join the club. Next is Husker, a recent addition that will help work his magic to the defense with Syrk."
"Today, the team looks simply awe-inspiring. They have a defense, that just yesterday, stopped the Sault Ste Marie Metalheads (probably in the top 3 teams of the league) to a simple field goal. The Horde, having a little fun, worked the running game. The Horde actually won, because the defense smached the Punt Returner, Merton Hanks Hanks fromthe Metalheads, laying him out, then picked the ball up to score with it."
"The Horde brought in a new QB, Taz Dingo, who has not seen too much action, but has an even better set of eyes, as the league leader they had last year, Rexy Grossman. He will be a treat to see. The offensive line is simply scary. Their smallest player, is Victor von Doom, a new addition to the team, at level 27. The Tackles and Guards are 31 and 32. They will just manhandle the defense they see."
"The defense is one of those that its just impressive across the board. The scary part is, they eat babies from what I hear, before each game. Frightening, but boy it works the crowd of the Terror Palace into a frenzy."
"All in all, this reporter puts the Horde down as a 1st or 2nd place position for the season, and a GOOD chance of winning it all."
"This has been my small report from Mongolia on the Horde, I hope you have enjoyed it, and more will come soon.
Walter Horowitz reporting for GLB Independent News.
"Well GLB Fans! Its here, season 5 begins again!"
"I am here in Mongolia, reporting on the team that has scared people up and down the SouthEast for two seasons, the Mongolian Horde. The Horde, were formerly a sad expansion farm team for some shady GLB expansionists. Then came syrk08."
"Syrk08 to give you a little history, was the owner of an evil midget army. Yes, I kid you not. He breed and raised a small midget army that was for hire as mercenaries. Unfortuantely, syrk08 didnt to well in his first business venture. Once his army of midgets were destroyed by 2 inches or rain, he rethought his existance. Football.
He then picked up the ownership of the Horde from the previous owners and brought Zhrakkan on board."
"Zhrakkan, a friend of his, was a severed head collector. Yes, you heard me right, this sick bastard collected severed heads, some were even still juicy when he bought them. He came from a rich family, so he never had to hold down a job."
"Zhrakkan and Syrk08 started making sweeping changes to franchise, and actually relocated them from Bangkok, to the capital of Mongolia, Ulaanbaatar. One of the first changes they made together, was finding a hooded figure named Eaglesfan20."
"Eaglesfan20 is an enigma wrapped in a shadow, covered in a pancake. We dont know much, other than he likes pancakes from IHOP. Rumor has it, Zhrakkan owes him an IHOP to be put inside the new stadium that was built, The Mongol Stadium."
"Now, you know who the main people of the Head Office are like, lets got further."
"The Mongol people, have begged and pleaded for an expansion team for years. The GLB expansion consortium gave them the finger. Syrk/Zak/Eagle, found that Mongolia was a hotbed for football, and was frothing at the mouth for a team that was there to show the mighty fear the Mongol people can produce."
"In Season 3, The Horde, just missed the playoffs. They had a mean offensive line, but could not get the TDs."
"Season 4 came, and Syrk and Eagle made sweeping changes again, to the team. The people of Mongolia were worked up to a frenzy. They ended up in the playoffs, but lost the second game."
"Now, here we are, Season 5. Now I will tell you where they are."
"Syrk has brought in two new people to help in striking up the blood frenzy from the people. First is Reich. He has been the scout, that have been searching the countryside for people to join the club. Next is Husker, a recent addition that will help work his magic to the defense with Syrk."
"Today, the team looks simply awe-inspiring. They have a defense, that just yesterday, stopped the Sault Ste Marie Metalheads (probably in the top 3 teams of the league) to a simple field goal. The Horde, having a little fun, worked the running game. The Horde actually won, because the defense smached the Punt Returner, Merton Hanks Hanks fromthe Metalheads, laying him out, then picked the ball up to score with it."
"The Horde brought in a new QB, Taz Dingo, who has not seen too much action, but has an even better set of eyes, as the league leader they had last year, Rexy Grossman. He will be a treat to see. The offensive line is simply scary. Their smallest player, is Victor von Doom, a new addition to the team, at level 27. The Tackles and Guards are 31 and 32. They will just manhandle the defense they see."
"The defense is one of those that its just impressive across the board. The scary part is, they eat babies from what I hear, before each game. Frightening, but boy it works the crowd of the Terror Palace into a frenzy."
"All in all, this reporter puts the Horde down as a 1st or 2nd place position for the season, and a GOOD chance of winning it all."
"This has been my small report from Mongolia on the Horde, I hope you have enjoyed it, and more will come soon.
Walter Horowitz reporting for GLB Independent News.
