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Forum > Team Press Releases > Oceania Press Releases > New line of "Power Foods" from Samoan Player
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San Diego, CA -- (AP) This afternoon the resident trouble maker for the Samoan Gangsters, Phillip Fredrick, announced that he would start a snack food and energy drink line to compete with gatorade, power bars and red bull.

"I just wanted to give everyone the chance to look, feel and function like a professional athlete." Phillip said in a news conference.

This comes at a time when Mr. Fredrick is under invesitgation for a series of vicious murders, accusation of arson, assault with a deadly weapon, cannibalism, rape, human sacrifice, human trafficking and various other felonies, misdemeanors and Crimes Against Humanity.

The Hauge has already announced that they hope to stop his product line by questioning the ingredients and labor.

Mr. Fredrick's line, called "Blood Thunder" is made from a series of protein products that are marked on labels in way that can only be called "supremely uninformative" and "recklessly dishonest."

Blood Thunder Pork Rinds, Blood Juice, Childrens Bone Bread, and Stem Cell Shakes will be available for purchase via the internet starting next week.

On another note: Mr. Fredrick is being considered a "person of interest" in a series of missing school buses, fo a total of 1300 missing children, ages 7-18.
 


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