<yawn> Did mk already do one?
OH YEAH BABY! Here we go heading into season 76. mk keeps his intros short but since I have the gift of gab strap into your seat and sit back for some reading as I break down the pre-season for year 76. We can all agree that mk's was short and sweet (easy Gag - we are not talking penis' here- zing!!). We'll take an early look as we have got the conferences set and a few teams are searching for a dot or two or three. I got the time now but I will be heading back to the great state of Wisconsin later in the week as I'm being inducted to my high schools athletic hall of fame (officially becoming legendary). Yes, I will be in a parade chucking candy at kids heads. Technically, you all get a hall of famer preaching to you on factual Casual Pro happenings. If I had some gumption I'd crank the website back up...maybe when the boys get Bier back up here as we're finally rebooting them or during Christmas/New Year but there's too much hunting and fishing for me in my old age - enjoy it while you can peeps.
I haven't paid much attention to casual recently but have to say this could be the strongest it's been in some time. You chuck in Gag, Chiefs, Spiders, Revenge, Camel Smackers, and Just Furious you get half the league that can beat each other any other game. The kicker is there isn't a huge drop off as two of the rookie teams hit the .500 mark and offer a look of run and pass that can be tough to defend. LG has made huge (bigly) improvements and the other noobs are going to have to earn respect by their on field play (and their posting ability in the league forum). Pat me on the back when I do a write up - us Hall of Famers are ego driven.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. Not Fast, Just Furious
Record: 12-4
Five Year Record: 71-9
Returning Dots: 35
We could keep going on and win 12 to 13 games a year and not get to a title game or roll the dice, try something different and go for gold. We'll take a hit on chemistry but you only go around once so we're ripping apart the roster and seeing where it takes us. Mike won't be sold bold to put his team in the top spot but I have confidence and a bit of bravado. We made some moves that should help us get to the top of the heap this season - book it Dano!
Dots to Watch
1. QB Tristan Redding - The two time offensive MVP still has a few throws up his sleeve.
2. RB Julius Aponte - Looking to add a little umf to the ground game that has once rushing TD the past two seasons.
3. Returner You'll like it But not a lot - Special teams MVP will finally have some blockers.
2. Running Gag
Record: 14-2
Five Year Record: 74-6
Returning Dots: 55
Another season and another title. At least they're not going 19-0 in the process and have some losses here and there. The lone positive other owners have heading the season is this group is in the decline. The bad news is they'll still be better than 99.9% of the rest of the league though the decline will hit the hardest before that first round game so you may see a little decrease once the playoffs start...cough cough AMEN. Is the next challenge for them to do an all passing team on their next reboot...challenge issued!!!
Dots to Watch
1. RB Ankara Türkei - Dot is a pass catching machine leading the league in receptions the past five seasons (make that six!).
2. CB Warschau Polen - The reining defensive MVP has 27 picks the last two seasons.
3. DE Podgorica Montenegro - Makes QB's cringe has the dot has racked up 49 sacks the past three seasons.
3. Ethiopian Camel Snackers
Record: 16-0
Five Year Record: 72-8
Returning Dots: 55
I've not seen the Camel Snackers up here in Casual Pro but they have won a title as recent as season 72. I have a hunch they'll be near the top of the heap for the next five to six seasons (some call me Nostradamus). They breezed through RP#1 last season and will look to make a splash in the west from the opening bell. If they are like anything like their counterpart (Sofia) they'll keep it close to the vest and whip some new wrinkles during the playoffs. I may be undervaluing them here with Gag in a wheel chair and JF facing some serious chemistry issues.
Dots to Watch
1. RB Brooks Wooten - Hit both 1,000 yards in rushing and receiving and that feat isn't done very often.
2. SS Lamont STOP - Spider is known for forcing some fumbles and STOP is the dot for this team having forced 11 last season.
3. QB Tobin Groves - Anyone else dissappionted there was not a Boozy III? QB coming in with strong credentials throwing for 110 TD's and only eight picks.
4. LG Canucks
Record: 5-11
Five Year Record:
Returning Dots: 33
Is the third season the charm? The Canucks have gone 4-11-1 and 5-11 in their first two seasons. A one game leap each year won't get it done but some roster changes may take this team to that .500 and eight win mark and possibly beyond. I've seen first hand how the team has been transforming and they're moving in the right direction under their rookie owner. Don't sleep on this team as I don't see them getting bitch slapped with regularity like that past few seasons. Boot in one of the more active team forums and it's a fun team to be a part of.
Dots to Watch
1. RB Rider Overstreet - Brought in to mow over defenders and add a rushing dimension the team has sorely missed.
2. DE Killer Kitty - Led the leagues in sacks last season with 21.
3. CB Magic !! - Led the league in picks the past two seasons.
5. San Dimas Saints
Record: 8-8
Five Year Record:
Returning Dots: 54
The Saints made the playoffs last season and I have them on the cusp this year as they nearly advanced to the 2nd round last season. The team can go beast mode with some amazing blocking from their OL and WR's. The team ranked third in pancakes with 1,036 (for those who struggle with math that's 64.75/cakes a game). When you play against this team you know you're going to face the ground attack (least passing attempts in the league at 14 and fewest comoletions at four). They could be much better than the 8-8 as five of the eight losses were tight battles. Very well could be undervalued but will no doubt make a "run" for the playoffs.
Dots to Watch
1. QB Fanta Orange - The dot led the team in rushing at 1,837 with 19 TD's but four more got over 1,000 on the ground.
2. OT Jeff Wolfe - Led the team with 98 cakes.
3. CB Fanta Orange - An all round dot who led the team with seven picks to go along with 22 PD's
6. Chile Chupacabras
Record: 7-9
Five Year Record: 43-36-1
Returning Dots: 43
This team certainly gets counted out a great deal and it maybe due to that near .500 record. Despite the ups and downs of the team they've held their own the past four seasons in Casual Pro and made the playoff - getting into the second round in season 74. They are an offensive line that could just be called Aunt Jemina because they make a ton of pancakes. The team led the league with 1,555 (more than 200 to their next closest competitor). Their QB's and RB's have had success but it's their D who's let them down here and there. They'll need to baton down the hatches if they want to keep that four season playoff streak going.
Dots to Watch
1. RB Calvin "Snoop" Bridges - Was second in the league in rushing with 1,821.5 yards while also scoring 16 rushing TD's.
2. OT Wesley Cortes - Led the league with 188 pancakes (11.75/game).
3. QB Hans Charles - Ranked third in the league in rushing with 1,763.5 yards and also scored 16 TD's on the ground.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. Charlestown Chiefs
Record: 14-2
Five Year Record: 71-9
Returning Dots: 54
The Chiefs have looked stout coming out of the vicious east the past two out of three seasons but they "ran" into the same problem - Running Gag. Make no mistake, it's been brutal coming out of this conference with these three teams battling for supremacy and right now the Chiefs are the bees knees. They've combined strong offensive and defensive units in making thier way to a top tier team. Like my grandpa always told me, however, "no one remembers second place" and as Ricky Bobby said "If you ain't first yer last." There you have it - will we remember this Chiefs team or will they be another Minnesota Viking squad.
Dots to Watch
1. QB Brought their F'n Toys With Them - Seems to keep the O calm and can hurt you when you expect the run and is consistent in getting his 4,000 yards and 35-40 TD's a season.
2. CB He Challenged The Chiefs MVP defender in season 74 and finished second last season.
3. RB Harry Testies - The name alone get the dot some press. The dot can also run the rock as he tallied 1,182.5 yards and 10 TD's last season.
2. Magua's Revenge
Record: 14-2
Five Year Record: 67-13
Returning Dots: 54
In S74 they got beat by Sofia on a FG with one second on the clock in the first round of the playoffs. In season 75 they got by the Spiders only to fall in OT to the Chiefs. This year they attempt to take another step toward that title game appearance. They have the team in place and all they ask is a little luck (or a better second half performance...outscored 40-0 in the second half and OT of those two loses). Madrocker should write a book about the "agony of defeat." They'll be in every game and they'll be pressing the Chiefs for the top spot all season long.
Dots to Watch
1. RB Dawson Dickens - Led the team in rushing with 1,660 yards and scored 18 rushing TD's (4th in the league).
2. CB Marquise Tatum - League defensive MVP returns with his 14 picks in tow.
3. QB Ghost Of Bumppo - Is like Trent Dilfer when the Ravens won the super bowl - not flash or spectacular but gets the job done.
3. Sofia Spiders
Record: 10-6
Five Year Record: 61-19
Returning Dots: 55
Do the Spider take a step back with their second team up here in the league or do they get back to winning gold with this team. They had a rough outing with the six losses and the 35 point playoff loss but that's behind them. This is the same team that won gold in S74. Chuck in four of their six losses were by 11 points or less and one would be wise not to discount them. The Spider do hit you from the air but did struggle last season when their QB was sporting his endorsement deal (the very same one he wears this season). Depending how fast or slow they will start they'll finish 2-3 and have a war in the first round of the playoffs yet again.
Dots to Watch
1. QB Boozy Patton Jr. - Heart and soul of the team and as he goes they go.
2. TE Geoff Saylor - One of the top TE's in the game who cracked the 1,000 yard mark with 1,057.5 yards - second straight season over the grand mark.
3. SS Timothy Rosa - Ballhawking SS who had seven picks on the season and tied for first on the team with 52 tackles.
4. Las Vegas Chaos
Record: 8-8
Five Year Record:
Returning Dots: 48
They went 8-8 in their first season and made the playoffs. No shame in that coming out of the brutal Eastern Conference. However, Las Vegas went 2-8 against playoff teams and will need to get better. They had trouble putting points against the top teams and in their six games against the other three conference playoff teams they only put up 39 total points (6.5 ppg). They will simply need to do better to get the O going and they did improve in the second meeting with each of the three - light at the end of the tunnel, possibly.
Dots to Watch
1. QB Brady Gun - Threw for over 5,000 yards but the dots TD/pick (27/28) needs to improve for this team to take flight.
2. SS Harvey Amos - Led the team in tackles with 71 but also led the team in PD's with 26.
3. WR Willie Grabit V - A new dot coming in to give Gun some firepower.
5. Tenerife Crusaders
Record: 11-5
Five Year Record: 50-29-1
Returning Dots: 44
The team had five losses last season in RP#1 and three were to two of the new teams joining them this season. They have had some history comming up and I sense a rivarly with Burma. That maybe the highlight of the year as wins are going to be tough coming for this team as they'll be fighting with Burma for 5th or 6th place. As I like to say "prove me wrong."
Dots to Watch
1. QB Stormy Sparks - Led the team in rushing from the QB spot going for over 1,000 at 1,030.5 with 40 rushing TD's.
2. DE Hal "The Hawk" Hawkins - Had 25 sacks last season and will need to bring that pass rushing to CP for the Crusaders to defend their house.
3. QB TH3 BLACK D3VIL - Had a nice TD/Pick ration at 51/11 and will need to throw to keep D's off the ground game.
6. Burma Black Dragons
Record:
Five Year Record:
Returning Dots: 41
It was a coin toss and Burma lost so here they sit in the six hole. They appear to be ready to run the QB down people's throat but have a roster that looks like it can do more than run. They'll have to in order to get in posiiton to nab a playoff birth (baby crying - sublimnial message...can you hear it). With anyone I have not making the playoffs - it's a long season to make me eat crow.
Dots to Watch
1. QB Isaac Hammer - The dot rushed for 8,762.5 yards and 103 TD's last season...betting he doesn't get close to those numbers this year.
2. CB Stock Bond - Had 14 picks last season and will need to help the D hold things down while playing with the big boys.
3. RB Braden Silver - While the QB had the yards and TD's this dot nearly hit 1,000 but did average 5.7 ypc while scoring 17 rushing TD's (996 yards).
O or D???
The debate rages against the old saying "Defenses Win Championships." Stats tell us it's a bit both and we saw in the latest title game it took two fourth quarter TD's to secure the championship.
TOP SCORING OFFENSES
1. Not Fast, Just Furious - 62.6
2. Running Gag - 55.0
3. Sofia Spiders - 51.9
DEFENSIVE POINTS ALLOWED
1. Running Gag - 11
2. Charlestown Chiefs - 12.3
3. Magua's Revenge - 15.3
REMINDERS
1. Get signed up for the GLB tourney (yeah, tallking to you Gag).
2. Make your predictions in Survivor.
3. Donate flex to the BADGERBACKER Foundation (501C corp. so tax deductible - maybe).
I missed a few five year records...not going back to get them...reap it.