Warrior General Games

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There once was a man from Nantucket...

There once was a guy who owned kraft
who got busted w/ slaves on his shaft-
now, he may go to jail
(his team will be for sale...)
-that's what he gets for being a cheap ass

Originally posted by darncat
There once was a guy who owned kraft

While Robert Kraft owns a company called The Kraft Group, it is primarily a paper and packaging company, and neither Robert Kraft nor The Kraft Group have any connection at all with the more famous company Kraft Foods.

Also, the rhythmic structure of the rest of the poem varies slightly from the typical limerick form.

However, both issues could easily be fixed with just a few slight tweaks. For example, the opening line could be, "There once was a lecher named Kraft," which corrects the factual error, maintains the proper rhythmic structure, and introduces the concept of the subject's sexual depravity a line earlier through the use of the word "lecher," all at the same time.

You have a good start here. Keep at it!

he owns the kraft group, which is a billion dollar enterprise

Originally posted by darncat
he owns the kraft group, which is a billion dollar enterprise

Yeah, but you said he "owned Kraft." Most people who read that are going to think, "Oh, that must mean Kraft Foods, the super-famous food company I've heard of since I was 4 years old and ate Kraft Cheese-and-Macaroni by the pound," not, "Oh, that must mean The Kraft Group, the paper and packaging company that nobody's ever heard of unless they got curious and read Robert Kraft's Wikipedia page because they read a limerick on a fake football site that mentioned Kraft and got curious."

I also missed that the end of the fifth line doesn't rhyme with the end of the first and second lines.

Here's let's try this:

There once was a lecher named Kraft
Who got busted with slaves on his shaft
Now he may go to jail
With his team up for sale
All because his libido was daft.

There.

What is it with the uber rich that they think cheating on their wives is 100% ok??? It makes me wonder what else they cheat on.

" he may go to jail"


flows better

Originally posted by Guppy, Inc
" he may go to jail"


flows better

*nods*

I was torn on that myself.

Is his team up for sale because he’s going to jail? Or, his team is up for sale and he’s going to jail?

his team will be for sale cuz the nfl ain't gonna wanna have his anchor dragging down their ship

Originally posted by Theo Wizzago
What is it with the uber rich that they think cheating on their wives is 100% ok??? It makes me wonder what else they cheat on.

I think his wife died several years ago.

Originally posted by Sonic
Is his team up for sale because he’s going to jail? Or, his team is up for sale and he’s going to jail?

It's a limerick... there's no easy way to convey the ambiguity of whether or not the NFL will force Kraft to sell the Patriots if he goes to jail in such a limited number of syllables, so Darncat took some poetic license, I assume.

Just another NFL PUKE.

Originally posted by Novus
It's a limerick... there's no easy way to convey the ambiguity of whether or not the NFL will force Kraft to sell the Patriots if he goes to jail in such a limited number of syllables, so Darncat took some poetic license, I assume.

With, suggests that if he goes to jail, he has to sell the team, but And suggests he is going to jail and he is selling the team for a seperate reason. Then could also be used, to convey that ambiguity of the NFL forcing Krafty to sell his team.