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Guatemala -- Today Phillip Fredrick opened a new school for the youths of exteremly impoverished families in Latin America. Called "The Imperial Guard Training Ground and General Slaughterhouse," the school will be free to kids whose families are willing to give up all rights and priviledges of guardianship and to sign a waiver alowing for cloning research.

Mr. Fredrick claims the school has no intention of creating guerrillas, or revolutionaries, despite his long stance of theocratic communism.

The opening ceremony was consecrated by ritual human sacrifice, killing at least a dozen willing virgins and FedExing the hearts to their families along with a thank you card.

The school also supports the arts, and intramural sports.
 


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