Showtime's top notch predictions are completely unbiased, whereas I sought to view the teams in my own unique way, almost as if I viewed them through water. Could be because Boomy is holding my head in the toilet, again.
Following the pattern that I'm sure I will forget the replicate in the future, we shall look at the teams in the Roto Rooter conference. Showtime claims that the teams in this conference are all equal in strength, as shown by their scores. Are they all equally weak or are they all just equally not paying attention?
Louisiana Screaming Pelicans
Owner: Tigerbait0307
Co-Own: TaintStick
HC: Outlawz
OC: flip1180 (Asst OC)
DC: KetchupKing (Asst DC)
One of those teams that got seriously lost. I know Louisiana can feel like a third world country, but it is, in fact, not located in South East Asia. Brown pelicans are a known endangered species, mainly because they have a penchant for eating plastic six-pack can holders. Despite what the owner of CoP might tell you, former CoP OC BP did not kill a bunch of pelicans when he took a dump in the Gulf of Mexico, because the pelicans were in Peru at the time.
For the record, Peru is also not located in South East Asia.
If they were a disturbing auction on eBay, they'd be: Chicken Hat http://www.disturbingauctions.com/view.php?item=96
If they were a beer, they'd be: kiwanda Cream Ale from Pelican Flavors are strong but not over powerful. Slight bitter at the end but very nice.
Purgatory Punishers
Owner: schneidsm
Co-Own: onemiln09
HC: MeauxJeaux
DC: TruthHammer
Oh dear- these are the ultimate lost souls, unless Purgatory is located in South East Asia, in which case I will gladly wait out my time to get into heaven with a cheap Thai hooker.
If you ain't got MeauxJeaux Nixon then your team could use some fixin'.
If they were a disturbing auction on eBay, they'd be: Naked Soldiers http://www.disturbingauctions.com/view.php?item=82
If they were a beer, they'd be: Purgatory Pilsner from Holy Brew Overall, a nice pils, nothing outstanding, but light and refreshing enough to get the job done.
Wu Dang Kung Fu Academy
Owner: chappy2235
Co-Own: fast420
HC: shield.bearer
OC: stizz (Asst OC)
DC: Dr. Showtime, HoyaHater (Asst DC)
ST Coach: beenlurken
If it wasn't for Wu Dang, this forum would be boring most of the time. But even the Wu hate has slacked off (see Where is Victory Jones? under Naga).
The Fu is strong with this group and they sound South East Asianish, so they get a pass as the only playoff team in GoRoota that does. Congrats- hold your heads high, girls!
If they were a disturbing auction on eBay, they'd be: Gator Bride http://www.disturbingauctions.com/view.php?item=87
If they were a beer, they'd be: Kung Foo Elvis from Pizza Port A tight, thick off-white head that leaves the glass completely messy with lines and webs of lace. Gorgeous!
Lawrence Stop Signs
Another lost team. And this one chooses the site of the massacre perpetrated by Quantrell's Raiders that lead many of that group to head out West and become outlaws after the war (like Jesse James and such). So that doesn't speak well of them being in the East.
True Story: Freshman year of college, I had four roomies, one of them named "Lawrence" aka Larry. I was hanging out in the back room while Larry was up front, when the three other guys who were pledging the same frat came home. Larry got off his bed, threw a newspaper on the ground there, and then quickly left the room.
The four of us left proceeded to get drunk, then bitched about Larry. One of the guys noticed the newspaper was a bit wet, smelled it, and discovered Larry was fapping while I was in the back room, onto a newspaper.
The newspaper sat in the corner next to his bed untouched for weeks and weeks, until one of us was drunk and left a note for him to clean up his cum paper. It was gone the next morning, but part had stuck to the floor.
I guess this means Lawrence may be "sticking around" here awhile.
If they were a disturbing auction on eBay, they'd be: Deer Butt http://www.disturbingauctions.com/view.php?item=56
If they were a beer, they'd be: Dubbel Stop from C.H. Evans Fruit flavors that avoids feeling overpowered
