Okoye and The Nightmares Set To Take The Football World By Storm
SOURCE: Associated Press
In a move that shocked the world of professional American football, Christian Okoye, the brief but prolific bruising machine of a Running Back for the Kansas City Chiefs today announced that he is the premier financial supporter and General Manager of the new Nigerian Nightmares team that has just been added to the Eastern Conference of the Canadian Pro League, replacing the Windsor Crows.
Currently an investor in the Golden Baseball League as well as the owner of Okoye Health and Fitness, Okoye is also the founder and the President of the California Sports Hall of Fame. But this revelation of financing as well as owning a professional football team is nothing less of a shock. According to the teams official website, www.nigerianownage.com, the team has already stockpiled a number of unknown talent that Okoye insists is exactly what he wants playing for his Franchise.
In one of his statements during his press conference held just this afternoon, Okoye stated that he wanted a football roster made up of “not prissy prima donna ******* whose knees shake when they go up against the Nightmare,” but that he wanted “a roster stocked to the brim with men with personality, testicular fortitude, and a smash-mouth style of professional ass kicking, I mean football.”
And what an assortment of characters the Nigerian Nightmares have already collected. Included are a pair of rugged menacing twins both named Lord Shme; one plays a Defensive End with a jet packed motor and the other plays a machine like Running Back, just like Okoye himself. A Tight End who calls himself General Mipps can catch just about anything thrown his way as well as a Strong Safety by the name of Cory J. Levy who calls himself ‘Chaos Incarnate’ have found a home on the team. Anchoring the Nigerian Nightmares’ Offensive Line will be a Guard by the name of Drill Bees. When asked about his role on the team, Drill only had one comment to say; “You better be watching, ‘cause Drill Bees is Guardin’ yo’ QB, baby.”
A slew of new additions continue to pour into the teams’ locker room, each with his own specific personality. Sources also report that the team is close to finalizing a contract signing that would bring journeyman Jeff Garcia to the team as it’s permanent leader and Quarterback.
When asked by a pompous reporter wearing a bright blue shirt that bore the words ‘Super Gumbo’ on the front of a picture of a bowl of spicy gumbo on the back asked new team general manager Christian Okoye “What’re you thinking getting back into the world of Professional Football, everyone already knows the Greatriots got the next twenty eight Canadian League Championships wrapped up,” Okoye simply stood up and stared the reporter down for quite some time, not showing any emotion on his face whatsoever.
Seven minutes later the reporter was revived, carried away on a stretcher, and the janitorial staff quickly cleaned up the brown mess left in his place.
Okoye then wrapped up the press conference by stating “We’re here boys, we’re here. We’re going to grow together as a team. A team that will dine on it’s opponent and wine on their tears. I’m only going to say this once, our opponents better get the hell out of the way. Otherwise, we’re going to Curb Stomp their ass, mow them down, and plow right through them.” Okoye then got up from his seat and was surrounded by players including the aforementioned Shme twins, General Mipps, Cory J. Levy, Drill Bees, and the recently signed Jeff Garcia, David Johnson, and a pair of Asian Wide Receivers. The group stood proudly with the teams’ Owner, Christian Okoye, before a banner fell behind them, revealing the teams brand spanking new logo.
SOURCE: Associated Press
In a move that shocked the world of professional American football, Christian Okoye, the brief but prolific bruising machine of a Running Back for the Kansas City Chiefs today announced that he is the premier financial supporter and General Manager of the new Nigerian Nightmares team that has just been added to the Eastern Conference of the Canadian Pro League, replacing the Windsor Crows.
Currently an investor in the Golden Baseball League as well as the owner of Okoye Health and Fitness, Okoye is also the founder and the President of the California Sports Hall of Fame. But this revelation of financing as well as owning a professional football team is nothing less of a shock. According to the teams official website, www.nigerianownage.com, the team has already stockpiled a number of unknown talent that Okoye insists is exactly what he wants playing for his Franchise.
In one of his statements during his press conference held just this afternoon, Okoye stated that he wanted a football roster made up of “not prissy prima donna ******* whose knees shake when they go up against the Nightmare,” but that he wanted “a roster stocked to the brim with men with personality, testicular fortitude, and a smash-mouth style of professional ass kicking, I mean football.”
And what an assortment of characters the Nigerian Nightmares have already collected. Included are a pair of rugged menacing twins both named Lord Shme; one plays a Defensive End with a jet packed motor and the other plays a machine like Running Back, just like Okoye himself. A Tight End who calls himself General Mipps can catch just about anything thrown his way as well as a Strong Safety by the name of Cory J. Levy who calls himself ‘Chaos Incarnate’ have found a home on the team. Anchoring the Nigerian Nightmares’ Offensive Line will be a Guard by the name of Drill Bees. When asked about his role on the team, Drill only had one comment to say; “You better be watching, ‘cause Drill Bees is Guardin’ yo’ QB, baby.”
A slew of new additions continue to pour into the teams’ locker room, each with his own specific personality. Sources also report that the team is close to finalizing a contract signing that would bring journeyman Jeff Garcia to the team as it’s permanent leader and Quarterback.
When asked by a pompous reporter wearing a bright blue shirt that bore the words ‘Super Gumbo’ on the front of a picture of a bowl of spicy gumbo on the back asked new team general manager Christian Okoye “What’re you thinking getting back into the world of Professional Football, everyone already knows the Greatriots got the next twenty eight Canadian League Championships wrapped up,” Okoye simply stood up and stared the reporter down for quite some time, not showing any emotion on his face whatsoever.
Seven minutes later the reporter was revived, carried away on a stretcher, and the janitorial staff quickly cleaned up the brown mess left in his place.
Okoye then wrapped up the press conference by stating “We’re here boys, we’re here. We’re going to grow together as a team. A team that will dine on it’s opponent and wine on their tears. I’m only going to say this once, our opponents better get the hell out of the way. Otherwise, we’re going to Curb Stomp their ass, mow them down, and plow right through them.” Okoye then got up from his seat and was surrounded by players including the aforementioned Shme twins, General Mipps, Cory J. Levy, Drill Bees, and the recently signed Jeff Garcia, David Johnson, and a pair of Asian Wide Receivers. The group stood proudly with the teams’ Owner, Christian Okoye, before a banner fell behind them, revealing the teams brand spanking new logo.
