This is a story of one team, made up of a lot of other teams, that beat another team, made up of very few people, for the most important thing ever: the World League title.
It began in the wayback of Season 4, in the then-mighty Canadian Pro League. It was a gauntlet of dotball mavens, filled to the brim with teams that would mercilessly gameplan (and Dong) their way to CPL supremacy. To stand alone at the end of a CPL season was to have conquered one's fears, and to have given nice HJs to the RNG rulahs. The oft-loud Nigerian Nightmares succumbed to the ruthlessness at the end of that grueling campaign, and began to send their best players to the Halifax Explosion (you know them know as the Drygerian Hoblosionnaries imo). It started with Quarterback McMurderDeathKill, then Brandon Barney and the mighty Jeff Garcia (R.I.P) followed a season later. More than that, Halifax absorbed the essence and posting prowess of the Nightmares. Their power grew.
Halifax, a perennial non-playoff team, or, at best, first round-exit guarantee began to taste dot success. With the spirit of Nigerian fierce in their loins, they soared to fucking new heights, culminating in the unthinkable: a CPL title in Season 7. To win the CPL was as likely as a threesome with Kate Beckinsale and Queen Elizabeth (like, the first one). With hot fudge and shit.
Even though the unthinkable had already happenededed, the even more unable to be thought fucking went down. Longtime cordial rivals, Dryden and Halifax were set to merge! Not only that, former powerhouse, the Moose Jaw Fightin' Fucking Hobos joined the party. Posting and dotballing was taken to new heights. The dot world never let itself even dream of a team this amazing, but then it happened. On that fateful day in S10, the Halifax Explosion became the Drygerian Hoblosion, the most fucking ridiculous collection of talent ever witnessed. The CPL pantheon smiled broadly at the pure might of lulz that pulsed within the team forum.
Once LOL's best and brightest came aboard (forming the Drygerian Hoblosionnaires imo, hotter than Voltron with a coat on), the team was far too large for CPL, it was too much to be contained by just one league. It needed to unite the world under its benevolence. Bort felt the presence of such fantastic energy, and he created the World League. "Mighty competitors from the dot universe, come to this World League, and see who can challenge the Hoblosionnaires imo!"
Mind blowing contests ensued. Even being birthed in the spiky womb of CPL's terror and might, nothing could prepare Drygerian for the rigors of the World League. Faced with adversity of previously unknown dimensions, the Hoblosion dug fucking deep, and taught the world how to post well as best they could. Also, there were games played.
Finally, after the longest and most arduous pre-season of all time, the four game season began. Their first test: the Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons, led by tautology. Underleveled but not out-awesomed, MPHD acquitted themselves well, but, in the end, could not match the raw speed of Jericho Brooks and really lazy O AI.
The next challenger was the Monmouth Evil Monkeys. Notorious face fuckers, this was Drygerian's toughest challenge so far. With USA Pro apologists ready to see the CPL All-Stars crumble like the pretenders they believed them to be, Drygerian went supernova on that ass. No faces were fucked on that day.
in the Conference Championship game, Bonn Dynamo awaited. Tapping into the CPL mojo themselves, Bonn was led by a fucking deathraywigglebottom of a screen game, and a nerf-inducing zone D; in science words: they were redonk. The GLB community was divided. Bonn was a WELP team, known for getting 0 cares from everybody, but matched up against the hated CPL, they recieved a groundswell of support from heavy haterade sippers, who wanted to tell their children's children about the day a Superteam died. No fucking way. Led by the celestial dot of Jeff Garcia and a mystery DC, Drygerian pulled out a mindfuck of a win, destroying the RNG trap laid by Bort to prevent an all-QB sneak WL final. Garcia, ethereal and gorgeous, led a two-play drive for the universe-rattling victory.
Bonn was, in many ways, the pinnacle, but Drygerian could not rest. Silver secured, they were not satisfied, and needed to avoid the post-wtf letdown against the Wang Empire. Considered massive underdogs, the Honolulu Hurricane Warriors weren't going to lay down-- they were USA Pro's last hope, and they were there to win the World League gold.jpg.
Knowing the disadvantage, Eli Blanton led a psychological attack during the days leading up to the championship, throwing around % of acceptable screen passes, trying to punk Gart888 into straying from one of his weapons. No. Fucking. Way. Drygerian continued to throw their 30% screens, and with a freshly-baked gameplan (very fresh), put up 557 yards on 58 offensive plays to finish the epic journey. It was with heavy hearts that those dots hoisted the World League trophy, knowing the spirit of their QB was losing its tether in the dotly realm. As he faded, a mere wisp mixing with the confetti on the original Lazer Noble-designed field, he whispered: "no u".
Their conquest complete, now with the two most prestigious titles in their trophy case, what remains for the Drygerian Hoblosionnaires? Word is they have something in store for a title defense, and no doubt they will need all posters on keys to defend their title, but they have done what no team had done, or will ever be able to do. They have truly achieved immortality.
It began in the wayback of Season 4, in the then-mighty Canadian Pro League. It was a gauntlet of dotball mavens, filled to the brim with teams that would mercilessly gameplan (and Dong) their way to CPL supremacy. To stand alone at the end of a CPL season was to have conquered one's fears, and to have given nice HJs to the RNG rulahs. The oft-loud Nigerian Nightmares succumbed to the ruthlessness at the end of that grueling campaign, and began to send their best players to the Halifax Explosion (you know them know as the Drygerian Hoblosionnaries imo). It started with Quarterback McMurderDeathKill, then Brandon Barney and the mighty Jeff Garcia (R.I.P) followed a season later. More than that, Halifax absorbed the essence and posting prowess of the Nightmares. Their power grew.
Halifax, a perennial non-playoff team, or, at best, first round-exit guarantee began to taste dot success. With the spirit of Nigerian fierce in their loins, they soared to fucking new heights, culminating in the unthinkable: a CPL title in Season 7. To win the CPL was as likely as a threesome with Kate Beckinsale and Queen Elizabeth (like, the first one). With hot fudge and shit.
Even though the unthinkable had already happenededed, the even more unable to be thought fucking went down. Longtime cordial rivals, Dryden and Halifax were set to merge! Not only that, former powerhouse, the Moose Jaw Fightin' Fucking Hobos joined the party. Posting and dotballing was taken to new heights. The dot world never let itself even dream of a team this amazing, but then it happened. On that fateful day in S10, the Halifax Explosion became the Drygerian Hoblosion, the most fucking ridiculous collection of talent ever witnessed. The CPL pantheon smiled broadly at the pure might of lulz that pulsed within the team forum.
Once LOL's best and brightest came aboard (forming the Drygerian Hoblosionnaires imo, hotter than Voltron with a coat on), the team was far too large for CPL, it was too much to be contained by just one league. It needed to unite the world under its benevolence. Bort felt the presence of such fantastic energy, and he created the World League. "Mighty competitors from the dot universe, come to this World League, and see who can challenge the Hoblosionnaires imo!"
Mind blowing contests ensued. Even being birthed in the spiky womb of CPL's terror and might, nothing could prepare Drygerian for the rigors of the World League. Faced with adversity of previously unknown dimensions, the Hoblosion dug fucking deep, and taught the world how to post well as best they could. Also, there were games played.
Finally, after the longest and most arduous pre-season of all time, the four game season began. Their first test: the Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons, led by tautology. Underleveled but not out-awesomed, MPHD acquitted themselves well, but, in the end, could not match the raw speed of Jericho Brooks and really lazy O AI.
The next challenger was the Monmouth Evil Monkeys. Notorious face fuckers, this was Drygerian's toughest challenge so far. With USA Pro apologists ready to see the CPL All-Stars crumble like the pretenders they believed them to be, Drygerian went supernova on that ass. No faces were fucked on that day.
in the Conference Championship game, Bonn Dynamo awaited. Tapping into the CPL mojo themselves, Bonn was led by a fucking deathraywigglebottom of a screen game, and a nerf-inducing zone D; in science words: they were redonk. The GLB community was divided. Bonn was a WELP team, known for getting 0 cares from everybody, but matched up against the hated CPL, they recieved a groundswell of support from heavy haterade sippers, who wanted to tell their children's children about the day a Superteam died. No fucking way. Led by the celestial dot of Jeff Garcia and a mystery DC, Drygerian pulled out a mindfuck of a win, destroying the RNG trap laid by Bort to prevent an all-QB sneak WL final. Garcia, ethereal and gorgeous, led a two-play drive for the universe-rattling victory.
Bonn was, in many ways, the pinnacle, but Drygerian could not rest. Silver secured, they were not satisfied, and needed to avoid the post-wtf letdown against the Wang Empire. Considered massive underdogs, the Honolulu Hurricane Warriors weren't going to lay down-- they were USA Pro's last hope, and they were there to win the World League gold.jpg.
Knowing the disadvantage, Eli Blanton led a psychological attack during the days leading up to the championship, throwing around % of acceptable screen passes, trying to punk Gart888 into straying from one of his weapons. No. Fucking. Way. Drygerian continued to throw their 30% screens, and with a freshly-baked gameplan (very fresh), put up 557 yards on 58 offensive plays to finish the epic journey. It was with heavy hearts that those dots hoisted the World League trophy, knowing the spirit of their QB was losing its tether in the dotly realm. As he faded, a mere wisp mixing with the confetti on the original Lazer Noble-designed field, he whispered: "no u".
Their conquest complete, now with the two most prestigious titles in their trophy case, what remains for the Drygerian Hoblosionnaires? Word is they have something in store for a title defense, and no doubt they will need all posters on keys to defend their title, but they have done what no team had done, or will ever be able to do. They have truly achieved immortality.
