Warrior General Games

The End of Season Run Down :

The Tijuana Donkies were left riding back home from Ktown after a disappointing 35-17 loss. “We expected more out of ourselves” said the corner back Justin Collie. The season wasn’t a whole loss. The Tijuana Donkies won 10 of their 16 games, and made it to the playoffs. Many players showed what type of player they were, and proved the Donkies were making good personnel decisions. Players like Reggie Mantle, Mac Fly, Ches O'Peake, and THE David amazing. It looks to be a promising season next season, but lets run down the second season of GLB.

The season started off with a disappointing loss to then power house Charleston Tigers. They were later gutted after their second game. The GM’s and Owner continued to work the FA market, trying to fill a roster of good, active players. The Tijuana Donkies would win a couple, then lose a couple. They couldn’t get on a good winning streak. It started to look like they would not make the playoffs this year. Then something happened to get them going on the right track. At the end of the season, with some playoff contenders, the Donkies strung together 5 wins in a row. After winning their last game, the announcement came out that the Tijuana Donkies had been given a 6th seed in the South American AA playoffs.

The players and fans were extremely excited. The Tijuana locals ran through town shooting their pistols into the air….Sadly 4 died and 6 were injured. The Tijuana Donkies met at the Donkey Dome and had a press conference about the upcoming game against the Ktown Ballers. The first to speak was Reggie Mantel the line backer. He said, “ “I guarantee a Donkies victory over the Ballers. What? I said I GUARANTEE a Donkies victory over the Ballers. What?” Reggie Mantle, LB, Tijuana Donkies. The Tijuana locals standing around went into an uproar of excitement. Screaming VAMOS, VAMOS. They were ready to go where ever Ktown was. Next the press interviewed David Amazing who said, “KTown Ballers,

I've got a number for you- Zero. That's the number of touchdowns that you're going to score against the Donkies this season. The K in KTown must stand for Kicker because that's the guy who's going to have to get you all your offense tonight. Hopefully, Sully's been practicing his 60 and 70 yard field goals. David Amazing guesses it's to be expected of an offense that chooses to sit Walter Payton in favor of Wilie Green. But David Amazing shouldn't be bashing your ownership and management too much. You were smart to give your punter a six figure contract. He's going to be wishing that today was a regular season game with all the career highs he'll be setting. This will be the type of game that makes careers.... for your punter. He'd better have been doing his yoga and his J.C. Van Damme stretches.”. Everyone stood in silence…..then erupted into cheering and shouting. Justin Collie got on the microphone and said, “Lets go down there and deliver the biggest Donkey Punch we can to the Ktown Ballers.

All smack talk aside, the whole Tijuana Donkies team piled into their Juan’s Plumbing utility van and started their trip to Ktown. When asked about the van trip, Rocco Steeds said, "I just enjoyed... the togetherness". After drinking 15 bottles of tequila, they arrived in Ktown….relatively ready to play. They all stumbled out of the plumbing utility van and went to the locker room. Ktown came out with the victory, but it was a hard fought game. Disappointed and saddened about the loss, the Tijuana Donkies went back to Tijuana in their utility van very quiet. No Mexican music, no piñata’s, no tequila, and definitely no tacos. When the Donkies got home, Justin Collie said, “I’m happy with the way the season turned out. I’m not happy with the early Donkey punch out of the playoffs, but we played hard all season”. The TE Fred Arbanas was asked how much he liked it in Tijuana with the Donkies and he said, “Playing in Tijuana is not so bad--I didn't get Montezuma's revenge once all season.”

The season is over, and the GM’s have a lot of work to do. “We are excited about next season, and look forward to delivering many Donkey Punches next season” said Justin Collie. If you want to see a team playing their hearts out every game, look no further than the Tijuana Donkies. This is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press.

GREAT!!!!!!!!

Opening Day :

After a long off season, season three is finally here. The Tijuana Donkies had it especially hard after a first round playoff loss last season. “It was rough, but we got through it. We are extremely excited about the upcoming season though. We have a good group of guys that could bring a championship back to Tijuana!” said Justin Collie. Most everyone got away from GLB during the off season to maintain their relative sanity. Some players went fishing, some had a couple margaritas in the gulf of Mexico, and some even participated in some random bull fights. The Tijuana locals were becoming restless. There were a couple huge free agents that came in, and they wanted to see them perform out on the field. When word got out that the season was starting on June 12th, and the Donkies first game was on June 13th, they took to the streets to have a fiesta. The ownership also found out the first game was going the be played in the Donkey Dome! Pistol shooting, tequila drinking, piñata whacking locals came out of their casa’s to celebrate the start of a new season. People drove up to the stadium in their mini vans, the teams “Juan’s Plumbing utility van“ , el Caminos, and some were on bikes. Thousands and thousands of people were outside the stadium, but only 2 el Caminos, 3 mini vans, 5 bikes, and the team utility van was in the parking lot. “Looks to me like we wont need to spend much on parking for the stadium” said Justin Collie.

The Tijuana Donkey Press showed up to ask the players some questions about their next game against Oahu Fighting Wahoos. The first player to speak was Reggie Mantel. He said, “ "Who the **** are these guys? Wahoos? Have I heard of them before? When did they start moving developmental teams into AAA? I'm not concerned with these guys. It's gonna be a blow out. I'll probably get a few tackles and do a dance or some **** to keep the fans entertained.”. Some locals got excited, and some looked confused. That’s when I ( Dirty Sanchez) spoke up and asked, “What exactly is an Oahu Wahoo?”. The team stood their like deer in head lights. They all looked around hoping someone would have the knowledge of what the heck a Oahu Wahoo was. Then Fred Arbanas came to the microphone and said, “ In Hawaiian, Oahu means "The Gathering Place"

And according to wikipedia, "The wahoo (Acanthocybium solandri) is a dark blue scombrid fish found worldwide in tropical and subtropical seas. Its speed and high-quality flesh make it a prize game fish. In Hawaii, the fish is known as ono. Hispanic areas of the Caribbean and Central America call it Peto."…….Everyone stood in silence in either amazement that he knew this, or still were confused. Then he said, “The "IronMan", Fred Arbanas, sez, we are gonna fry some Hawaiian fish!” The Tijuana locals went nuts, because they understood what he was talking about this time. The locals started screaming their heads off, while shooting their pistols in the air. Luckily no one was injured this time.

David Amazing was asked what he had in store for the new season and millions of Donkey fans around the world. He paused to think, then said, “David Amazing has a little something new in store for the AAA #2 league this season. La Bill Simmons got a little taste of it. David Amazing is going to take a page out of the great Lawrence Taylor's book and will personally make sure that his one-on-one opponents won't exactly be in 100% condition to play that week. You may be wondering, "What is it that David Amazing's gonna do?" Well, you can ask your tackle after the Tijuana Donkies go off on him for 4 sacks and 10 hurries. It's all going to start with ROLAND MCGWIRE... and THAT... is what's going through David Amazing's mind." I later found out that Roland McGwire is the Wahoos left Tackle. The Tijuana fans went crazy again, throwing their candy from the piñatas up onto the stage. Justin Collie came to the microphone and said, “We waited a long time for this. The off season seemed like it would never end. We vowed we would completely obliterate the next team we had to play. I fell sorry that it had to be the Wahoos, but it has to, and will be done. Lets go to Oahu and give a big Donkey punch to those Wahoos.” The team and fans all started cheering “Donkey punch! Donkey punch! Donkey punch!”. The team went into the locker room to get ready for practice. Some reporters, including myself got to interview one player before the practice. I asked Tha Boss how important this first game was for the Donkies, and he replied, “a perfect season starts with the first game…”.

The Tijuana Donkies open their first game in the Donkey Dome against the Oahu Fighting Wahoos at 11pm EST. The stadium should be packed, and the Donkies look to start off with a win. This is Dirty Sanchez reporting for the Tijuana Donkey Press.

LOL!

Dirty Sanchez will be writing a new article for the Donkey Press soon.

nice job

Sick Nasty Defense :

After three games, the Tijuana Donkies are 2-1. Their first game was a home game against the Oahu Fighting Wahoos. The stadium was packed beyond capacity. The Donkey Dome holds a little over 14k people, but there had to of been well over 100k in the game. “They must have been hopping the fence outside the satdium” said management. Plenty of jerseys and beer was bought. Many drunk Mexicans filled the stadium screaming “Donkey Punch! Donkey Punch!”. The offense was driving all over them, but couldn’t finish when they got near the goal line. The most impressive side of the ball was the Tijuana defense. They only gave up 31 rushing yard total! The only bad note for the defense was giving up 230 yards to the passing game. The Tijuana Defense was just ridiculous. Because of the great effort of the defense, the Donkies pulled out the 9-6 win. “As long as the offense can put up 7+ points, we should win” said Justin Collie after the first game. The locals loved the win at home to start off the season.

Their second game came against the Michigan Panthers. This time the Donkies had to travel all the way from Tijuana to Michigan. The team pilled into their Juan’s Plumbing utility van and started on the long trip. Thousands of fans followed the Donkies to Michigan. Many were caught at the border, but the 2 el Caminos, 3 mini vans, and 5 bikes made it through. A couple thousand fans we going to make it all the way to Michigan to watch their Donkies. It was pretty much the same story in this game. The Michigan offense was only able to put together one good drive. The rest of the game the defense was shutting them down. This time, the whole defense was running and all cylinders. The running defense held them to 60 yards total rushing, and the passing defense held them to less than 120 yards passing. They scored once on a good drive, but their second score was off of a interception near the Tijuana Donkies red zone. Michigan got away with the 14-7 victory. The fans and the players were upset to receive their first loss of the season. The team got into their utility van, and the fans got into their vehicles and on their bikes for the long trek home. Some of the fans were afraid to go back into Mexico, so they found a job picking fruit on a farm. They promised to follow the Donkies, no matter where they were.

Their third game was coming against the College Station Agros. This was a team the Donkies played last season, and won against. The Donkies were still a little worried about their offense though. Some of the offensive players went to a party that night, and drank until they couldn’t feel feelings anymore. Also, some didn’t bring their bottled water the team gives out, and had to drink the brown waters of Tijuana. Management was forced to start a TE at WR, and start a backup at the TE position. The star running back was also sick, so a backup had to start at HB. The backup TE Fred Arbanas said, "It was great to get my first start and get 3 catches, but it was a bad reason to have to start. Some of our wide receivers were out partying in Tijuana at night and were not resting, so we had to move our starting tight end to WR to make up the slack. These guys are professionals and should really take care of their bodies...". When the news got out about the depth chart changes, the fans were expecting the worse. Luckily, the defense had one of their best games yet. They held them to under 55 yards rushing, and under 130 yards passing. Gus the Donkies Mascot did a great job of keeping the fans happy while the offense was having a hard time putting points on the board. The Donkies got away with a 13-6 victory. After the game, some reporters asked Reggie Mantle how he felt about the offense’s struggles so far this season. He got upset about the question and said, "I couldn't care less about how our offense is strug-a-ling. We have the best ****ing defense in all of South America. We lost a game because of a few bull**** plays. Look at what we did to the Agros. Watch what we're going to do to Chile Con Queso. Watch what we're going to do to the ****ing Ballers! Whenever our offense doesn't score or turns the ball over, it just makes me more angry! I'm gonna take a diarrhea dump over the next person I tackle! I'm pissed!". The CB Justin Collie grabbed him and led him into the locker room. Collie came back out and said, “Look, our offense is just having a hard time finding themselves so far this season. Once they get rolling, there will be no stopping us. Defense wins Championships!”.

The Donkies have their fourth game against Chile Con Carnage. The battle of the Mexicans is going down! They look to add a third win, and move up the rankings. This is Dirty Sanchez for the Tijuana Donkey Press.

The Donkies are 5-1!

The Tijuana Donkies have just won their 4th game in a row to become 5-1. The offense has finally started to pick up their game, scoring 23+ points in their last 3 games. The defense has been getting better as well. They shut out 2 teams, and have a season average of 6 points a game. The Donkies have plenty of big time players, but the three that have been standing out are DE David Amazing, who leads the league in sacks, CB Justin Collie, who is tied for second in interceptions, and QB Rick Smudger, who is ranked in the top 10 for passing yards. I will go through a run down of the past couple of games.

The last game we left off with was the battle of the Mexicans. The Tijuana Donkies were playing against Chile Con Carnage for the Guadalupe Mexican Belt Buckle. The Donkies were excited to have a chance to win this nice looking belt buckle. “We planned on sharing it every other day. That way some of us could be seen with it at our multiple fiestas” said CB Justin Collie. The Donkies had a press conference before the game, and I asked the ownership what they thought about the “Battle for the Belt Buckle“. All they would tell me is “It would look nice on one of our players belts”. The offense caught on in this game, putting up 23 points, and the defense shut Con Carnage out. They decided to not wear the belt buckle, but put it on display in the Donkies trophy room.

Next they had the Dayton Mafia at home. The Donkey Dome was sold out again, and was packed beyond belief. There had to of been more than 300 thousand Mexicans packed in the Dome that should only hold a little over 14 thousand. The parking lot this time was full with a couple mini vans, some lowered trucks, el Caminos, and the newly built bike rack was full. Piñatas were hanging from the rafters, the tequila was flowing, the mariachi band was set to play at half time, and Juan who owns the teams utility van was giving away 20% gift cards on a new toilet installation. The atmosphere of all the screaming fans must have been too much for Dayton, who went down by a score of 27-0.

Their most recent game was against Ben Lomond SFL. The Donkies had to travel this time, so the team piled into Juan’s plumping utility van, and left the Donkey Dome. The Donkies have a really good fan base, so plenty of vehicles and bikes followed the utility van. When asked about who he felt about the team using his utility van for traveling to away games, Juan said, “I Love it! I get more and more business from the people following my van to the games than I ever did driving it past farms and construction sites.”. The Donkies won their 4th straight by a score of 23-10.

The Donkies had a press about their next game against the Medellin Ghosts. My first question to the team was about the defense. I asked them, “How does the team feel about the play of their defense recently?”. The first to answer me was Myles BringingThePain. He said, “Once again our defense stood up to the challenge! We're heating up, but just wait until we catch FIRE!!!". After he started to sit down, Reggie Mantle jumped up and grabbed the microphone. He spit out his gum into the crowd, and the chicas went crazy and jumped all over it. He looked into the camera and said, "It's like I've been telling you guys, we have the best ****ing defense in the league. Somebody wake me up when we have some real competition. I'm gonna go take a nap." Reggie grabbed one of the Mexican girls in the crowd, put he on the handle bars of his bike, and went home. The press conference was over, and I caught up to Andre Caldwell the new WR and asked him what he planned on doing in the next game. He looked up at me and said,”……No speaka English?” and kept on walking. Never before have I heard it spoken so beautifully.

The Donkies home game against the Ghosts will start at 11 PM EST on June 25th. This is a huge game that matches the 4th and 5th ranked teams in the Zeta conference. This game has been sold out ever since they played their second game. This is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press.

It’s a new Donkies team :

Defensive additions - The Donkies have made a lot of moves in the off season, and during the season to make their team better. Some of their starters from last season when they went 10-6 left for free agency. The owner and GM’s were worried they wouldn’t be able to fill their spots before the first game. The first player they added in the off season was CB Nick Pain. The Donkies had problems all last season filling the CB depth chart. They did have a full roster at that position at one time, but one of the CB’s were becoming a distraction, so he was let go. His name was Randel Johnson, and he had plenty of potential. Jcdawg23 was asked about adding Nike pain and he said, “He is a great player. He finally gives us a pretty good starting CB along side of Justin Collie. I made sure Collie would show him the ropes after Pain came out of the D leagues”. David amazing also was asked for a comment and said, “Nick Pain has done what no one in Tijuana thought possible. And that's to fill the shoes of Randel Johnson."

Another huge addition during the off season was Mongol Slade and his partner in crime, Hugh Jones. The Defensive Line was in need of desperate help after their starting DE left for a GM job with another team, and one of their DT’s wasn’t producing like the Donkies thought he should. When the Donkies signed DT Hugh Jones, they we extremely excited. Jcdawg23, the DC, said, “I was very excited, just look at the guy. He is six foot nothing, and 333 pounds. He is a monster”. When Jones got to Tijuana, he told the DC to get his buddy through a trade. His friends name was DE Mongol Slade. This was the DE Tijuana needed. One on the left to stop the run, and allowing David Amazing to pass rush on the right. Just from adding these guys, and keeping the great starters they already had, Tijuana has one of the best defenses in SA AAA #2, and no team has rushed for over 100 yards on them yet.

One of the Donkies strongest positions going into the off season was their LB position. That was until one player was let go for inactivity, and the other wanted to be traded. Both these players shoes were filled when backup LB Slap Johnson came to Tijuana. He has filled both outside spots, and plays on all special teams. This guy could be a starter anywhere else, but chooses to play here and make our defense one of the best in the league. He is also a huge addition for when the 3-4 is implemented. Having 4 monster LB’s on the field at the same time would be a huge advantage.

Offensive additions - The offense was definitely a side of the ball the Donkies were worried about. Last year, they had a hard time getting the ball rolling, and this year looked to be the same. Three of the four WR’s they had went inactive at one time. Some of their offensive lineman decided they would not resign, and were going to another team when their contract was up. Today, the Donkies have brought in three WR’s, three OT’s, and 1 HB. One of their main positions of work was at the WR position. The Donkies traded for WR Andre Caldwell, WR Catch’em Collie, and signed WR Mr.A Knife through free agency. Knife was a huge addition, one because it didn’t hurt the chemistry that much to sign him, and two, because he has a very well built WR. When asked for comment about going to Tijuana, Knife said, “"Just here to do my part in bring the big gold cup to Tijuana". Management was very happy to hear this type of player was coming to play for them. When Knife arrived in the Tijuana Air port, Knife looked at the coaches and said, “I just flew in from Copenhagen and boy are my arms tired! Wakka, Wakka, Wakka"…….The coaches just stared at him and said, “Get in the van, and lets go”. The good feelings had gone away. But on a serious note, Knife brings a consistent, and powerful weapon for the Donkies QB Rick Smudger. He now has 4 WR’s that will help bring his game to the next level.

The Donkies have their next game against the Charleston Tigers tonight at 11 PM EST. They are at home, and trying to go 7-2. This will be the best record so far in Donkies history. I can’t help but think it’s because of the new additions. This is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press.

There is a Fox among the Donkies!


Its been a long time coming, but the Tijuana Donkey Press is releasing a new article. Last time we left off, the Donkies were hitting the free agency, and trade market hard for offensive help. They were struggling on offense in the beginning of the season, but now seem like they are starting to pull things together. The three main players they picked up on offense were WR Mr.A Knife, ROT Marco Gillespie, and HB Shadow Fox. Knife was picked up in the free agency, Gillespie and Fox were both picked up through trade. “Yes it did hurt our chemistry on the team a little to pick these guys up. I think we should be looking forward to the future, not what it is doing to us now. The guys we are picking up will become player threats in this league, and help us on our way to our main goal, a Championship” said Jcdawg23.

There was some scandal about how the Donkies acquired M. A Knife with so many people after him. Many were asking, “How did the Donkies do it?”. When asked about his decision, Knife said, “ The way I became a member of the Donkies as I remember it started with me arriving in the Tijuana airport for a connecting flight. I remember the sounds of people running up behind me then the feel of a burlap bag being thrown over my head. It gets a little sketchy from there on out as the last thing I remember is the faint smell of ether....

Anyways long story short the next thing I remember for sure is awaking in a small cell-like room with a moldy ham sandwich and a play book on the floor. Interesting note; its seems that a contract signed under the duress of a man applying electrical shock sporadically to your testicles is legally binding in Tijuana. Learn something new all the time....…”. When asked for further comment on the scandal, Donkies GM Jcdawg23 said, “We just misinterpreted the rules. We will remember next time”. So for now, and possibly the future, Knife is a Donkey.

One of there newest arrivals was HB Shadow Fox. He was acquired through trade at the very last moment before the trade deadline. Fox’s old team was going belly up, so the Donkies jumped all over it. They spoke with Shadow Fox about becoming a Donkey, and he was all for it. The trade was sent, and in a matter of minutes, there was a Fox among the Donkies.

At there news conference yesterday, all the old, and new players were at the podium. Their next game is against the Springfield Duff men at home. Ownership was answering most of the questions, until they let their newest arrival up on the podium to answer only one question. I asked him if he could say one thing to the Duff men, what would it be? He paused for a minute, looked straight into my eyes and said, "Fear your shadow". His voice game me the chills. The Donkies walked off the stage to go get ready for their game later tonight.

The Donkey Dome will be packed, and there is bound to be tequila. The #2 ranked Duff men face off against our #5 ranked Donkies. May the best team win! This is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press. Go Donkies!!

Playoff Rivalry

With the season winding down, the top 5 playoffs seeds have pretty much been slated. The 4th ranked Medellin Ghosts will be squaring off with the 5th ranked Tijuana Donkies. These two teams have created quite a rivalry between themselves. Last season, when they met, the Donkies got the easy win, 30-7. This season, after both teams made big changes in the off season, the Ghosts got away with a 16-10 win. The Donkies were heart broken, but now have their chance to redeem their regular season loss, with a post season win.

After the loss, there was some smack talking between Jcdawg23, the GM for the Donkies, and PACharer, the GM for the Ghosts. It was right after a weekly team rankings was posted, and had the Donkies ranked 5th. The Donkies GM Jcdawg23 came out and said, “I don't care where we are projected, I just want to play the ghosts again”. Without missing a beat, PACharger came back and said, “The Ghosts would be happy to oblige. We'll take an easy 1st round win in the playoffs”. The playoffs were still many games away, but these rivals were already getting pumped for their game.

This morning, there was a press conference with some of the players before their film session for the World Slayers. I asked the Donkies newest starting MLB, Peter Frampton, how he would feel if they had to play the Ghosts again in the playoffs. He said, "We are already preparing for this game. They may have gotten the better of us during the regular season, but it's the playoffs that really matter. They will be staying at home after the first round. Very convenient for them, because they will not have to travel anywhere in the off season". The next player I spoke to was Shadow Fox, the Donkies newly added HB, how he felt about the playoff game against the Ghosts. He replied, “They got lucky in the 1st game because I wasn't around to face them. This time its a whole different story. I enjoy watching the defenders run away from their own shadows whenever I'm out on the field, and that is exactly what Casper and his little crew of Madelines will be doing next. Fear your shadow...". Finally I spoke with CB Justin Collie. I asked him the same question, how does he feel about playing the Ghosts in their first playoff game. He said, “We asked for this game in the middle of the season, and now we got it. I feel like we have gotten a lot better since we played last, and can pull out a victory. There will be plenty of Donkey Punches to go around in round one of the playoffs, you better believe it!”

The Donkies will have to travel for their playoff game, but seem very confident they will win this time. There has not been a date selected for the playoff game yet, but it is thought to be on July 15th, 11 PM EST. This game is already shaping up to be a smash mouth game. I’m sure there will be plenty of personal fouls in this game. The is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press. Go Donkies!

Donkies first playoff win

The Tijuana Donkies won their first playoff game ever as a team! They have been to the playoffs 3 times, and are now 1-2 in playoff games. Last night, when the Donkies kicked the 29 yard overtime field goal to win it, the Mexicans at the stadium, and in Tijuana started a riot. Tijuana fans everywhere were stealing piñatas, lighting them on fire, drinking tequila, getting in their lowered el Caminos and listening to mariachi music all the way home. When the Donkies came to the US/Mexican border in their Juan‘s Plumbing utility van , there were millions of Mexicans waiting on them. When the Donkies got cleared to cross into Mexico, the fans rushed the van and tore it apart. Reggie Mantle was carried away by a couple girls to a pueblo near the border, David Amazing was going over the game with the fans while Andre Caldwell translated it into Spanish. The rest of the Mexican men quickly built a stage for the team to stand on and have a press conference right at the US/Mexican border.

The first to speak was the owner tripr6. He said, “They got all cocky because they won the the first meeting this year! They had the home field advantage, but this is a RIVALRY! This is the PLAYOFFS! We don't care where it's played! We weren't going to back down, we came and gave them the DONKEY PUNCH!” All the Mexican fans squealed with joy. They were still so excited that the Donkies won their first playoff game. DC, one of the CB’s, was the next to speak. He said, “ We had a couple Pac Man's on the team. The Ghosts were never so scared in their life". He was talking about the Pac Man video and avatar that Reggie Mantles agent put online when they found out they were playing the Ghosts in the playoffs. The newest HB Shadow Fox stood up and walked to the microphone. He said, “It was a tough game I'll admit. Those 2 fumbles I had really stung me in the ass, but I shook it off and played my heart out. In the end, they feared the Shadow just as I predicted they would." The fans screamed, and started throwing their Pac Mac, and Fox piñatas at the stage. Finally, the girls and Reggie Mantle came out of the pueblo, and Reggie Mantle got on stage. He said, “We're not done yet. This isn't over. We're not finished! We're going all the ****ing way to a title!" The fans again screamed, through piñatas on stage, drank tequila, and finally took off in their el Caminos. “They tore our van apart, and then just left us there”, said Justin Collie. “We had to hitch hike all the way back to Tijuana. Do you know how hard it is for 50+ grown men to hitch hike? Pretty damn hard.”

The Donkies are home now, and getting ready for their second game against the heavily favored Ktown Ballers. The Donkies are looking to pull of a huge upset, and move onto the conference finals. Their next game is in Ktown, at 11 PM EST. It is shaping up to be a big battle, and many fans will be there to root their Donkies on. This is Dirty Sanchez with the Tijuana Donkey Press. Go Donkies!

You doing it for this season

Bunch of asses

haha...no pun intended