San Jose Times
San Jose Chupacabra owner K9 has reportedly re-signed the entire defensive core, and is re-structuring Phineus Dump's contract to include Arby's Beef and Cheesers as a bonus per sack. Defensive co-ordinator Jake Rawburst is under contract for one more season and is currently in Zihuatanejo, Mexico in search of the next crop of affordable grounds crewmen.
When asked to comment on his expectations for the upcoming season, defensive tackle Kurt Reynolds responded "We all know what to expect this next season. Look at our group, what? 9 rookies...these guys have all been provided the same material as myself for the off-season. We have a great conditioning program, and hey?! HGH isn't against the rules in BBB#1, so I'll be coming back like 12 gigawats through a flux capacitor!!!"
Strong safety, Brian Dawkinss after being named defensive MVP commented: "MVP is great and all, but in San Jose we've gotta a saying...'F*ck awards we want rings'. And that's how I feel. Yeah, coach Rawburst got me that Chevy Silverado, but I mean it was an '83 and I think he conveived a child in the bed of that beast, it smelled like hell!!!"
San Jose Chupacabra owner K9 has reportedly re-signed the entire defensive core, and is re-structuring Phineus Dump's contract to include Arby's Beef and Cheesers as a bonus per sack. Defensive co-ordinator Jake Rawburst is under contract for one more season and is currently in Zihuatanejo, Mexico in search of the next crop of affordable grounds crewmen.
When asked to comment on his expectations for the upcoming season, defensive tackle Kurt Reynolds responded "We all know what to expect this next season. Look at our group, what? 9 rookies...these guys have all been provided the same material as myself for the off-season. We have a great conditioning program, and hey?! HGH isn't against the rules in BBB#1, so I'll be coming back like 12 gigawats through a flux capacitor!!!"
Strong safety, Brian Dawkinss after being named defensive MVP commented: "MVP is great and all, but in San Jose we've gotta a saying...'F*ck awards we want rings'. And that's how I feel. Yeah, coach Rawburst got me that Chevy Silverado, but I mean it was an '83 and I think he conveived a child in the bed of that beast, it smelled like hell!!!"
