Warrior General Games

Samoa-- In a spectacular display of fireworks, Hotel Mirage lost its North wing in a 120 foot fireball. There were at least 15 staff members trapped in a stairwell. Cursory examinations show that the three main exits were blocked with vending machines and, in one case, an engine block from a semi.

While no charges have been filed, it is this reporter's obligation to point out that Phillip Fredrick, Fullback to the Samoan Gangsters and suspected cannibal, was a guest in a suite that would have provided an excellent view of the blast.

The hotel, long known for catering to clients of questionable character, has declinded to comment as of yet. Chief of Police Fuinoawa has stated, "It is our belief that this horrible acter was commited with forethought and with intentional malice." It is being hailed as the worst crime in the island's history, with 15 dead and millions in property damage.

More details as they are discovered.

Our prayers go out to the staff of said hotel, and wish their families the best.

Las Vegas- In a unexpected event, A section of the Turnberry high rise condominiums caught on fire due to an explosion coming out of a residence located on the seventeenth floor. The said property was infact owned by Phillip Fredrick, a fullback on the Samoa Gangsters football club. "It looks like a revenge tactic taken by one of his many victims family members", said the Deputy Chief Greg McCurdy. This plot thickens as one of the direct victims happens to be the sister of Las Vegas Super Bears defensive nose tackle Jackson Brettington.

In a supposedly unrelated event, upon hearing the news of his sisters death during a recent trip to Samoa, Jackson Brettington has been missing from practice the last few days. He was finally able to be reached for comment and explained in a clear calm manner, "Phillip Fredrick better call in sick next time they play Las Vegas." "If he doesn't, he will wish he was never born."

Tasmania -- As the playoff frenzy begins to wind up, so does the excitement and drama surrounding two players, Phillip Fredrick and Jackson Bretington. Over the last few days, millions of dollars and a quickly growing list of missing people and persons of interest. That being said the most recent conflagration took place where the Gangsters first challengers ahil from. A large Fuel-Air Explosion (FAE) decimated part of the Zoodoo Wildlife Park in southern Tasmania, near Richmond.

It appears that most of the children's area has been cleaned from the earth, the only signs of the expansive playground is in the lumps of formless plastic that used to be in the exotic shapes of Tasmania's native fauna.

There are few details, and no signs of victims except for a small book, made from human skin and bound with tightly woven hair, that reads, "Bring it." The book also contained two small, wallet sized pictures. One of Mr. Jackson and his sister, suspected victim of Phillip Fredrick. Another of Mr. Fredrick in a similar postion with a grinning skeleton.

At this point, no one wants to be reached for comment... or association.

Tasmania -- A recording from "Moose", Owner of the Samoa Gangsters was left on the answering machine of an enterprising Samoan news reporter early this morning. The message was as follows:

"The Gangsters organization deeply regrets the loss of any individuals in the horrible event at the Hotel Mirage this past weekend. We have heard the rumors that a certain Phillip Fredrick, a fullback on our organization, is being linked by some to the blast. We do not believe this to be the case, as Phillip had an intense game that evening, where he was escorted back to the Mirage. While we can confirm that Mr. Fredrick was a guest in the suite at the time, there is no way that he could have arranged for the massive explosion that took place.

However, as a gesture of goodwill towards the people of Samoa, the Gangsters organization has vowed to rebuild the remains of the hotel, while compensating the families of those that lost lives as a result of the blast."

The phone was hung up before anything else could be heard.

Los Angeles-- It is being discussed whether or not to retire Phillip Fredrick from league play next year, following the numerous accusations leveled at him ranging from petty larceny to war crimes against humanity. In a first ever move, The Hauge has stepped in requesting that Mr. Fredrick be sent overseas to await trial.

Phillip's agent, 52500 of 101782 (a cybernetic AI programmed for sarcasm as a misguided upgrade from the "Laff Trak"), had this to say, "Phil is never going to retire. It's a fact. I don't care how many children's dreams we have to crush or how many small countries we have to overthrow, we will never retire."

This understandably upset The Hauge, and evoked much consternation in the International political arena.

OOC: i just read these. makes my day that much better. i love you guys thanks.

Las Vegas- Finally with the season over Luisa Brettington was able to receiver her proper burial in an obvious closed casket ceremony. Jackson refuted comment and just sat there and cried. "I appreciate all this interest in a player of Jackson's stature but we must understand that these trying times will test a mans fortitude and resolve. He can either take this as a learning lesson in his life, or it will consume him, "said Joe Brettington. Jackson was quickly removed from the grave site where the family plan to spend the off season together.

Survived by Luisa is her brother Jackson, mother Yadiera and father Joe.

Langley, VA -- In an offsite training excercise Ihitwomen Mycardoes of the Samoan Gangsters was accidentally hit by a heavily armored truck. The vehicle flipped over spilling its cargo, a silvery metallic liquid. When recovered by biohazard crews, Idonthitwomen was flown to a nearby military hospital to undergo observation and treatment. When asked what the substance was, the White House refused comment other than to state it was classified.

Idonthitwomen is in stable, if uncertain, condition.